r/AITH

I want to be clear in that I really REALLY don't want people arguing about politics in the comments but it is a large part of the problem.

So my Papaw and Mema raised me. My parents are still alive but my Mema was more a mother to me than my own mom and Papaw was like a father to me as well. After Mema died from covid he even lived with me part time for a while when he was trying to sell their home and travel between here and his home in Florida.

The issue started because of Trump. I am very far left/liberal while my grandparents have always been Repulican. We have all been aware of this and really stayed away from the topics of politics.

But when Trump was running for this second term my Papaw and I got into it on the phone. I won't repeat what he said but in my mind it was unforgivable. Deplorable even. Just... basically imagine someone saying they agree with ICE. This was before the election, before all the current events. He might have changed his mind about certain things since but I know that he's a very head strong person who is sure about his convictions. Just hearing him saying it outloud, so angry and so sure of this misplaced hatred...

He sent me a birthday card and he's tried to reach out multiple times since then. He's come to my house where my bf talked to him and kept him on the porch. He came to my job once where a co worker came and told me an older gentleman was asking for me using my birth name. I don't go by that name anymore. Haven't for about four years so I knew it was him but since I was in the back, my co worker just said I wasn't there.

I miss him terribly. I WANT to be able to speak to him but I don't know if I should.

Should I give him a chance to see if maybe he's at least apologetic about our last conversation?

Would writing him a letter be best? That way I can express myself fully?

Or Am I the asshole for keeping my distance. My manager at work has known me a long time, she knows how much I love him but I just don't know if I have the heart to talk to him again knowing his true thoughts and feelings about things that I think are morally wrong.

I should also add that I've pretty much cut off all my family

since Mema passed. She was my mom, my best friend, we were just able to exist together because idk, we just were that person for eachother. Im constantly thinking what our relationship might be if she were still alive in this political climate

Hello!

My best friend of nearly 10 years started dating someone about 2–3 months ago, and this is her first serious relationship. Lately, I’ve noticed a pattern when we hang out - either just the two of us or with a group of friends. Even when her boyfriend knows she’s out, he’ll call her, and she’ll end up talking to him for 20–30 minutes. She usually steps away to take the call since she doesn’t like talking on the phone in front of others.

It’s only happened a few times so far (around three that I can remember), but it feels like it might become a regular thing.

I brought it up to her and said that I personally find it a bit rude when someone takes a long phone call while spending time with others. I also mentioned that I think it’s a little inconsiderate on his part to call when he knows she’s out.

She told me that he calls her even when he’s out with his own friends, and she doesn’t see anything wrong with it. While she said she understands my perspective and will be more mindful, she still feels it’s just a difference in opinions rather than something inherently rude.

Update: After our conversation, she later apologized and said she talked to someone else about it and realized it could come across as rude. At the same time, I’ve also reflected on it and feel like I might have overstepped a bit. I don’t want to interfere in her relationship, especially since this is all new for her. I told her that as well and apologized for potentially overstepping.

AITA???

Another update!!: Thank you for all the comments. I’ve seen a lot of people saying I’m not in the wrong and describing him as clingy or her behavior as annoying, but I want to add some context.

While she initially said it was just a difference in perspective, she’s actually very self-aware and always takes my feelings into consideration. She’s the kind of person who will reflect and adjust if something she’s doing bothers me (and I try to do the same if something bothers her!). She’s a really good friend—my best friend—and she understands that sometimes I might notice things she doesn’t. I cant say much for him as I have not met him but besides this, he does seem like a really good/decent guy from what ive seen and what ive been told and he may just be clueless tbh.

Hello Reddit, I have kind of a situation here. I (32,M) arrived to my current hometown (Not in the USA) 1 year ago to search for new job opportunities and just, starting over, because I had many emotional issues in my last city. I had to leave friends, my bf (but we still keep in contact and visits) but it was necessary. I had to stay with my dad (79) for a while, but our relationship is not good. If I had another person to rely on, I would have gone for them, but my father was the only option.

I seriously consider him to be narcissistic, a liar and just not pleasant to be with. He would leave the bathrooms dirty, he would berate me for not being a doctor like he is and while he's not direct about it, I know he doesn't approve of my sexuality. He had SEVEN children WITH 4 DIFFERENT WOMEN, and he would force me to take part in gatherings with a little half sister I have (16,F).

I have absolutely no trouble with my sister, but her mother is a devil with me. We had trouble in the past when I was younger, claiming that my dad was only hers, that I had no right recurring to him for help when I was in need, etc. She was not living with my dad when I arrived but I still chose to leave my dad a couple months later when I found a department for myself. I do not ever want to live with my father again even if it's temporary because it's destroying my mental health. Sadly, I'm looking for a new job right now and my father will sometimes offer to help, which I have to accept to pay some bills, which is also why I try to at least be in good terms with him.

Well, 2 weeks ago I was in my current job and I received a call from an unknown number. It was my half sister's mom. We'll call her N. I thought that my father had an emergency so I asked her what was up. She started yellingz saying that I have no right to ask my father for help, that he had a conflict with one of her coworkers, that my sister watched it all, etc. I did not know what to say at first, because none of it was my fault, and I never forced my own father to help me. I told her to go to hell and never call my number again. She then said "Ok, I will go to hell, because I will KILL you and your father". I told her I'm gonna call the police and she hung up.

After this disaster I called my father, told him everything, and he did NOT deny that he had a fight with her coworker, but he told me not to worry because he would talk to N. I continued with my day, when I got out, it was late, I told him I would not contact the police THIS time, but if anything else happens I'm getting N locked up.

Well now a couple minutes ago, I returned with my bf from dinner, everything was fine and I receive a call from my dad. He wants me to reserve the 2nd story of my building to give my sister a birthday party (because the building where I live is well known and a friend of mt dad used to live here) which means that my dad AND N are going to be here that day. I asked him if he did not remember what N did, which was threaten me, and he said "but what's the problem? This is for your sister. Not N." I told him sorry, but do not count with me.

I know now that my father is never gonna realize how toxic and horrible N is, that he will always put her above me and my sister, but I do feel bad about her. She is 16, she is in the middle of all of this, I wish she could have different and better parents, because when my mom was alive, she made sure I was out from any and every of my father's BS after he cheated on her. I also know that this may mean that my father will not help me anymore, but I honestly don't care anymore. I'd rather just take my time to find a new job and just be done with him for good. Now even more so that my boyfriend is present. I've been a people pleaser all my damn life and I feel this was THE time to put some boundaries.

Was I the asshole for denying this for my sister? If they do end up having her party here, what should I do?

I am in my 30s, female, and I live with my parents (I pay rent but not as much as I would if I lived alone). I also have Autism and ADHD. Throughout my whole life, whenever we have relatives I’ve had to give up my room or share. Sometimes they stayed for a long time or visited during every holiday so I didn’t have a break without somebody in my space.

My aunt is visiting and she has been here for a week so far. I have no problem with her but now I am overstimulated by sharing my bed and I want to be alone. I told my mum how I feel but she gets defensive and says “am I supposed to kick her out?” I’m not telling her to kick her out, I just want her to acknowledge that it’s difficult for me.

When I get ready for work I can’t put the light on and I have to tip toe around. My auntie wet the bed and accidentally urinated on me. I think she drank too much? It was a mistake but it was awful for me and as somebody with autism, that’s a nightmare. I then had to console my aunt because she felt embarrassed. She also sits naked for ages after a shower, which I know she does at home but it makes me uncomfortable. Just things like that.

My aunt said she’s finally leaving and then my mum said no, “I want to us to go out for the day” so my aunt decided to stay. I was annoyed and showed it to my mum. She then said “well I want a day out… am I supposed to kick her out?” I was the bad guy for being upset that she stopped my aunt leaving. I then started to cry and she sneered “what is SHE crying for?” I then became furious and threw some boxes on the ground. I have autistic meltdowns (very rarely) when I’m misunderstood and my mum triggers them because she doesn’t empathise with others and sneers when me and my dad are upset.

I know I’m a loser for being in this situation at this age but my disability/mental health makes it impossible for me to hold down a consistent job - I’m always working but I’ve changed jobs a lot in the past - so I cannot afford rent to move out.

AITAH for being upset? Am I selfish for being fed up with sharing my room?

So this may sound like a dumb AITAH question but I am genuinely confused and want to know if I indeed am the AH.

I (20F) have an ex (22M) which I was together with for about three years. Because of how long we were together we had a mutual friend group, but we did keep some of our best friends separate. For example my (ex)best friend (20F) and my ex did not get along at all so they never really became friends. When I say “did not get along at all” I mean AT ALL! They hated each other to the point where I couldn’t even mention one to the other. I could understand hear POV since in hindsight this ex was a real jerk. He was a serial cheater and wronged me in all possible ways but like they say “love makes you blind.

Fast forward to three years later, me and said ex broke up. After this breakup my exbestfriend and ex start hanging out a lot, I told her I wasn’t really comfortable with this since he did all of those bad things to me and I’d rather not have my best friend spend time with a person like that. (Yes that might have been childish of me). After the breakup most of our mutual friends declared themselves Switzerland and kept hanging out with both of us, which I didn’t mind because they also have been friends with him for three years, unlike the ex bestfriend.

This whole ordeal lead to my ex bestfriend resenting me, without me even knowing it. Luckily we made up about a month later and everything seemed fine. Until a year later one of my other friends said she had to tell me something and had been sitting on it for a year because she was afraid how I and ex would react to me hearing this. This friend told me how my ex bestfriend and ex had slept together and she was the only friend my ex had told about it. I was LIVID. Yes my ex can sleep with anyone he wants after the break up, but to think my ex bestfriend could stab me in the back like that?!

In my anger I told our entite mutual friend group (who also don’t like this ex bestfriend) about what my ex had done and I confronted the ex best friend about what she did. She did a lot of apologising and crocodile tears but I had made up my mind I never wanted to see her again. This eventually got back to my ex (I assume ex best friend got mad her secret got out and told ex about it). Ex is now going absolutely mental on me for telling everyone because the friend group is now icing him out. Which I did not ask them to do btw. Ex best friend is mad because I “made her look bad” to my friends and we live in a small town so “word spreads fast”. They are both actively trying to now make ME look bad to everyone around us and people are now starting to ice ME out as well.

I’m just so heartbroken because not have I only lost the girl I thought was my best friend and eventually maid of honour, but also my friend group is slipping away. Ex and ex best friend claim they will stop speaking badly of me (basically spreading lies), IF I set everything right by saying I lied or exaggerated about how everything went down. My friends are saying because this whole deal happened a year ago I should forgive them both and pretend like it never happened, but I’m hurt about the situation and feel like I have a right talking about it.

AITAH in this situation, and if, how do I fix this? I don’t want to lose my friends.

I , F51 have been married to a M52 for 21 years.

I guess my biggest mistake is that I have always believed in'for better or worse' part of the vows. He was always a fun partner but challenging to live with, messy , disorganized and always taking me for granted. I quit working when our kids were born as he has always prioritized work and it seemed like the best decision for the family. He travelled a lot etc.

He is extremely extrovert, I am not so always liked to have a posse around, prioritizing that over our fsmily unit time. This has also forced us to spend too much time with his a$$hole family who don't treat him well. I always had his back. Well, he was always a drinker and it got so bad that he had to go to rehab after many years of depressive drinking alone and being verbally abusive. Our relationship was not good. This has made me feel very confrontationally adverse and probably have ptsd. ( I worried about him dying g and shielding my kids from the worst of it)

I told no one about this and should have left then. His family don't know he was in rehab.

Here's the thing; now he claims that his drinking was the result OF our bad relationship, that I have problems am not happy and that it had no consequences as the kids didn't know( wtf? Is it that my efforts?!)

He doesn't include me in social outings now at all.

Now I discover he has been sleeping g with his married friend , I discovered their text exchange which he then deleted before I screen shot it.

Saying stuff like he was going to leave me once our daughter went to college ....

What should I do? Should I just blow it all up; tell everyone who will listen about his drinking, and cheating or put up with it because I am not financially independent and his family are rich? That sounds bad but when you have teens and you can offer nothing and they can offer holidays, cottage , family etc it matters.

We also live in his country; not mine and we moved here after the kids were born so his friends are my only friends . They would choose him.

I'm so lonely and alone.

Out of bitterness I just want to f' over her life too by telling her husband. She has cheated on him before. Should I just tell everyone who will listen?.

Rather simple:

My brother and sister in law were in town visiting (plane flight level trip), incidentally for a conference. They were here multiple days and wanted one dinner and one brunch out to see my daughter, their niece.

Problem: for various reasons, my wife scheduled potty training that weekend a month ago. Mainly because toddler needs to be ready before a summer camp. Sorta “had” to be done then. And it’s the pants-less method she went with.

So I compromised on dinner: we hosted. But wife wanted that to be it. Not also hosting brunch the next morning.

So she made no attempt to compromise any of the potty training and wholly skipped brunch. I went to downtown to see my family at brunch instead, without wife and toddler. The reason was the potty training.

SIL took this as an insult and thought she should’ve come and the excuse wasn’t sufficient. Beforehand I was already on “just suspend one morning for it”. Now it’s a whole family annoying gossip because SIL tattled to my mom about this and now I’m getting it from my mom. Ugh.

AITH for thinking she should’ve just suspended this potty training for the one morning and go to brunch?

Hi Reddit. I’m posting this for my mom because she’s too close to the situation and I told her I’d outsource the moral verdict to the internet.

I’m 22F and I have a medical alert + psychiatric service dog that I’ve had for five years. She allows me to function safely and independently. She is not a pet. She is federally protected medical equipment with better public manners than most humans.

My mom and I handle conflict differently. I’m a “please don’t escalate this” person. My mom is a “the ADA exists and I will cite it” person.

My cousin (35M) is getting married this winter. My mom and he have always been very close. When the wedding was announced, my mom reminded them that I have a service dog and would need her with me. They said they’d check with the venue.

Two months later, my mom received a text saying I’m welcome — but my service dog is not allowed because the venue “doesn’t allow dogs.”

Important: this is not a pet policy situation. Service dogs are legally protected under the ADA. The venue is open to the public and, per state law, is required to allow service animals.

My aunt (the groom’s mom) says it’s not their fault the venue is breaking the law and that the bride has her heart set on this location. She thinks my mom should just attend alone so she doesn’t miss a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Proposed “solutions” have included:

• My mom goes alone and leaves me home across the country.
• I travel but stay in the hotel.
• I leave my service dog in the hotel room (which defeats the entire purpose of a service dog).

If my mom pushes the ADA issue, there’s a chance the venue could retaliate and cancel the booking. None of us want to blow up their wedding. The bride deserves her dream venue. They didn’t intentionally exclude me — the venue created this problem.

My mom’s position is that she doesn’t feel right attending a major family event that effectively excludes her daughter. Instead of spending thousands to attend a wedding I cannot properly attend, she suggested celebrating them separately and giving a generous gift.

My aunt thinks she’s being dramatic and selfish.

For transparency: I personally don’t think my mom is the AH. I understand why she feels hurt and protective, and I also understand why she doesn’t want to celebrate somewhere that won’t legally accommodate her daughter. At the same time, I know weddings are emotional and complicated, and I don’t want her to damage lifelong relationships if she is overreacting.

So Reddit — is my mom the AH if she chooses not to attend in solidarity with me?

Basically I’m white and my best friend’s black and we are both American. We were talking about guns and she said something about never shooting one. I said that she’s not American then a joking way (aka the stereotype of Americans being absolutely obsessed with fire arms). I keep getting called racist and shit by her now even through I seriously didn’t mean it in any racist way

Background: I don’t drink often, usually just at social events. We went to an event and had a great time and in the car afterwards I was crying because I was sad about the idea of getting older, and admittedly I was probably being over-emotional/dramatic.

My husband told me this morning that I can’t drink that much because it makes him uncomfortable when I’m like that, and I acknowledged him and said I would try to limit my drinks at events in the future. Later in the day (we had been normal after the conversation in the morning) he brought it up again and told me I need to watch a video he recorded of me to see what I was like. I feel really betrayed and uncomfortable, and told him that it makes me not feel safe around him. I was in a vulnerable state and felt comfortable around him but I don’t feel that way anymore. He keeps insisting there was nothing wrong with recording me so that I could see how I was (I wasn’t blackout, I remember everything). He did delete the video but he says I need to grow up and “do better.” I honestly feel like he just wanted to embarrass me further. Am I overreacting?

I (21F) am considering canceling an upcoming weekend trip with a friend, and I feel guilty about it.

My friend loves to go to raves and music festivals and Ive gone to a few little raves with her- but never an out of town festival. I don’t really have any friends outside of her and I always see her going on these trips with her other friends, so when she invited me to one I was pretty excited at the idea of a girls trip. I’ve never been on one. I didn’t think twice about the money because I usually have plenty left over to spend and save with each paycheck, AND she asked me in February when the trip isn’t until August.

It’s just a two day music festival and her other friends are also young adults with young adult jobs who have rent to pay- so I never imagined it would be too expensive. I expected maybe 300 on my end for the hotel, and a 3-400 flight?

I was so wrong…..

She didn’t want to stay in a “gross hotel” so we booked one that’s $1,100 (split halfway, $600 each) because she wasn’t at all interested in anything cheaper. Now I’m looking at flights and it’s estimated to not drop below $780. This isn’t even counting spending money, tickets and alcohol.

For context- this friend is a party girl. She’s always had financial support from her family- she lives in a nice condo that her parents own and she doesn’t have to pay rent at all. They also help her pay other bills, so I guess it makes sense she doesn’t find these prices to be insane.

I’m trying to save money right now to get my first car and I had over $2000 in my savings when we started planning this trip- but now I have less than $700 in my savings and a lot of that has gone to the trip. I live with my family in a tiny basement bedroom, I work full time, pay a few hundred for rent and until I get a car I take the train at night which is a 2+ hour commute AFTER just working 10-11 hours.

I also have other priorities right now like my pets and my dental care.

My boyfriend has been telling me since we got the expensive hotel to back out altogether- but I feel terrible for even considering it. It was so irresponsible and careless of me to not do any research on this area before agreeing to go, and it would be really selfish to make her suffer the consequences of my poor decisions by backing out and her having to scramble to find someone else or just go by herself. I feel like I made a commitment and I have to figure it out… but I’m worried about my financial stability and I have no idea how I’ll get a car any time soon now .. :(

AITAH for wanting to message my sister in law to confront her about everything I’ve been hearing her say about me? For context : her brother and I have been together for ten years and I have silently put up with issue after issue and never really said anything. Here are a few examples (honestly there are way more but then I’d be here all day)

•When we started dating, she told people there was no use getting to know me because we weren’t going to last.

•she told my best friend (myself also) that I should let him explore with other women because I was one of his first girlfriends and it wasn’t fair for me to hold him back. (Newsflash he’s a grown man and if he wanted to get with other girls he could, he just had to leave me first!) this was after 1 year of us dating

•When I got pregnant with our first baby she told me to my face (at 20 weeks) that we shouldn’t be having a baby together because he was “too much like their dad” and would be a bad father. (He’s nothing like him and FABULOUS) Mind you we had been together for 5 years at this point and those words stuck with me when I was the midst of ppd.

After that comment, and MANY others I’ve never let her meet our daughter. My daughter just turned five years old, and we have another.

I’ve just heard that she has been going around telling people that I am keeping my kids from his side of the family and that I refuse to let them spend any time with them. He comes from a large family, MULTIPLE siblings (I’m talking double digits here) and the only one who hasn’t met them is her.

In fact, I just spent all day with his mother and my other sister in law so I am in no way holding them back from anyone except her.

AITAH for wanting to finally confront her? It may potentially backfire on the person who told me all this info and I DO NOT want to get them in trouble. But I am sick and tired of being walked all over when she’s never even taken the time of day to get to know me - or my children really. She just expects to get to see them whenever she decides to visit.

Need from perspective on this one.

Is it -almost- always the narcissist who view the other person as -the devil- in the relationship?

Like was i overreacting or something?

Won't go deep but i just ended my relationship with this other person just yesterday who call himself as an empath.

We had our last conversation yesterday and got the closure i wanted but they flipped the table on me in any situation we had before!

Like for example and I know it was dumb even i laughed about it:

I told them like i texted you the other day and you took 8 hours to respond which is okay but to see that you've in between posted a story it's somehow disrespectful. To get the answer:

Are you stalking me or something? Like when I respond i take time and effort with my messages yeah sometimes i post things in between but i always hit you back is there a problem if am an old-school?

Keep in mind that wasn't the pattern before if it was from the beginning it wouldn't even bother me.

As I said that wasn't why broke up it was just dumb example for the communication between us.

Now I feel like i was the problem the whole time even deep inside I know i didn't do something wrong or that deal breaking!!

TLDR: me and my friends play games nightly and they all get super involved and I don’t and I feel like I’m being a dick because of it

Every night after work me (20F) and my husband (22M) play online games with our friends (23M and 20F) after work. It’s a normal thing, but they get so into it and feel so highly and it almost gives me the ick in a way. Not in the way that it’s overly deep but in ways that have me thinking “wow get over it I don’t care”

We play games like Marvel Rivals and Overwatch, in those games you have rolls (tank, healer, dps) that make up the game and structure, but say someone doesn’t play at least one of those rolls and it all can fall apart and it’s very common to then lose. You also have points you get and it upgrades your characters and gives you special looks and things for them

In the following I’m strictly talking about playing quick play

Every night we play, and it’s almost draining and not fun. We play and I’m trying to level up certain characters or just enjoying playing characters but if we aren’t winning they get soooooo mad. Like we are still talking and playing the game but it’s just them being irritated cause we aren’t winning for whatever reason

My issue is, is it that deep? I’ve played games for years so i understand the wanting to win and feeling irritated, but even then all those times were in a competitive setting. I feel like because of this I’m being a meanie pants since I’m not over here fuming with them but it’s also like I grew out of it?

Admittedly these people didn’t really grow up playing games so this is their first time but it’s the SAME thing every night “oh my god I’m about to get pissed off” “oh my hod that just pissed me off” “bro she’s so broken” “bro this is so stupid” “bro i need a new controller” “bro what is this team doing” “bro they suck” “im CARRYING what is happening right now”

Those are all exact words that my husband says every night when we get on the game. Every. Single. Night. Word for word.

And they all genuinely get so upset and basically can’t enjoy the game just cause we may be losing or they may be dying

I don’t know maybe I’m overreacting but it just seems not that deep to me? Like it’s the game, it’s how it works, stuff happens. But to them it’s like they’re the best ones alive and should literally never lose unless they’re fighting actual gods and it’s just like can we not just get on and have fun lol

And admittedly too when it gets like all of this I just get kinda quiet and be there and then my husband will usually say I’m being mean cause either I’m quiet and say something about the fact I’m not switching my character that I’m purposely on to up my points or are practicing with just cause they want to win every single game

It just seems weird. Honestly I do feel like I’m being mean or too insensitive but…. It’s just a game

I (13f) and my mother (30+f) have an amazing relationship. I trust her with my secrets, my crushes everything. But. She has one thing that I really dont like. She never really cooks. Ever since me and my siblings and I started cooking, it's like she suddenly can't

She has me making her food while my older brother was at work, and my other siblings are doing chores.

And I wouldn't mind me making her food. I love doing things for her. But she's ungrateful about it.

For example, last week, I made her 2 grilled cheese sandwiches. And they were slightly burnt, not enough to taste it. And iv made them like that for her before, and she said that she loved it that way. And she would not even eat them unless I made them that way. But then I made them like that for her this time, and she immediately said

"This is burnt,"

Without even a thank you or a taste so I remade them and gave thoughs ones to my siblings. I made her new ones the way she wanted golden brown and gave them to her. And she complained that the cheese wasn't melted, so I put them in the micro wave because if I put it on the stove, it would be burnt. And she complained it wasn't crispy.

So I just clenched my jaw and made her new ones. And she complained again!

I was just sick and tired of it, so I put the plate on her desk (she was in her office working on her computer), and I just started yelling, saying something along the lines of.

"Can't you just be great full!? I went out of my way to make you food, and you say it's bad? Do you not know the words? Thank you? Or are you too ungrateful for that!?"

She went completely silent, and I immediately felt bad and told me to get out, and I did closing her offic door quietly. It's been a week now, and it's still very tense between us, and she hasn't asked me to do barely anyone but I think im in the right and I think what I did was valid because this isent the first time it's happend.

Idk my siblings, dad, and some friends are saying im TAH because she's still my mother, and she raised me. But Idk if I said that to her, she would have done the same thing I did. Idk AITAH?

My (62F) son (25M) Gabe, is marrying (22F) Lindsey. I’ve met Lindsey a handful of times & I can tell my son is head over heels for her. She’s kind but she tries a bit too hard. For instance, everytime she’s over she brings desserts that she has to make homemade. They’re okay my husband loves them but ever since she came around I’ve started baking a bit more too. When she came over for dinner I offered her one of my homemade desserts & she said she was “full” which it was clear she was rudely making excuses. I just responded back to her saying “sorry it’s not a Lindsey cookie” which after that she awkwardly took it.

Ever since Lindsey came in the picture, Gabe never talks to me or comes over the way he used to & im sure she is telling him to distance himself.

I honestly didn’t know they were that serious they’d only been dating for 7 months and Gabe decided he wanted to propose to her ?? I didn’t necessarily agree to this but he says that he’s never felt like this before and they spend every second together & he knows what he wants ?

Fast forward to there engagement- Gabe sends me a picture of Lindsey with the ring. I’m sitting with my 2 daughters and my step daughter & I text Lindsey saying she needs to facetime my daughters or text them about the ring. A few seconds later my step daughter says that Lindsey sent her a picture of the ring. I immediately text Lindsey that it was rude to text my stepdaughter before his sisters about this. She apologized thankfully & ended up texting them too.

Now as far as the wedding goes, I found out that Lindsey & Gabe went to her parents and sat down planning everything. I found this extremely rude & inconsiderate they didn’t let me make any decisions & they didn’t even consult me about the date of the wedding.

I talked to Gabe a couple times & told him how i hoped to be more involved & he kind of just shrugged it off. I decided to take matters into my own hands and reach out to Lindsey’s mother. Now, I’ve never met her before but I simply texted asking if there was any more decisions to be made that I would get to be part of making them. Lindsey’s mom was kind of rude in her response saying “I think you should coordinate that with Lindsey & Gabe.”

I told Gabe about this and he agreed with about how rude it was. The next day Gabe calls me & said it was rude of me to text Lindsey’s mother about making descions and that I should’ve texted Lindsey directly. He also started telling that I never took the time to get to know Lindsey and my expectations were misplaced that I shouldn’t have assumed i would be planning the wedding with her. He started coming at me saying I’m always cold to her during ever family gathering & i “never took the time to get to know her.” Truthfully, Gabe doesn’t know what he’s talking about. It’s clear that Lindsey just started dramatizing everything so she could create a wedge in our relationship. I just want some second opinions to see AITAH ?

I have been contemplating making this post for a few years now and there is a lot here so I am just going to start from the beginning.

Me (38 F-) have never felt any sort of familial bond to my older brother (M 50ish). 

My Family (5 siblings, two younger brothers, an older sister and my older brother that this post is about, with me right in the middle) have never been an emotionally open or mature bunch. 

My older brother has been an awful person since I can remember. Constantly getting into trouble and generally being a perpetual anxiety machine for my parents and by proxy the rest of the family. Not really the best person otherwise (racist, homophobic, you name it). He got brain cancer at 19, which I wouldn't wish on anyone. After a lot of chemo, he went into remission and could live a generally healthy life. He was still just as awful of a person afterwards. The racism and bigotry stayed. When I introduced my BIPOC partner to them, the first thing that my dad said was "oh does she know Hadji?"-she is Indian. They both let out a laugh I had not heard from either of them for so long and of course "its just a joke". My dad has been taking care of him for the last couple of decades as his health has slowly deteriorated. A few months ago he was diagnosed with bone cancer and given 1-1/2 years to live.

For as long as I can remember he has been a source of terror for me. I have not one single good memory of my older brother. He has stolen from me, been physically abusive. He broke my dad's rear windshield, lied and said it was me and caused my dad to call me drunk, screaming that I owe $250. This was a repeated pattern. He would go into our crawl space and disconnect the cable just for my sister. I can't even fit all the things he has done to my sister in here but as awful as he has been to me, he has been so much worse to my sister.

I will pour my heart out to my dad as to why I just ask to be left alone regarding my now dying brother only to get the repeated response "your brother is dying". Now he is in the hospital literally circling deaths door and I find myself still feeling nothing as I have felt for the past few decades. This is a constant source of inner turmoil for me.  "my brother is dying and i feel nothing" i have wrestled for years on whether or not my lack of caring is justified or if i am just a bad, selfish person. I will attend his funeral and I will be there for my parents, but I just have nothing else to say to him even while he wastes away in the hospital. I mourned having a good older brother a long time ago. I am already low contact with my family but they all think I am evil for feeling nothing towards his situation.

AITA for wanting nothing to do with my dying brother?

So the story starts like this- my long term partner (33M) and myself (33F) are engaged and planning our wedding. We want something very small (maybe a dozen people, tops) and we want to get married in a National Park out of state (an in-country destination wedding essentially). Guests we plan to include are his immediate family (parents, brothers, sister, sisters fiancée and their child) and my immediate family, plus we each have one friend very close to us we’d like to come too. This situation gets dicey because of one of my fiancée’s brothers.

Fiancée’s brother (31M) got divorced 3 years back, started dating a local woman (40+F) and they got pregnant quickly. Their relationship has been rife with drama, he had been in contact with his ex wife even letting her see and hold his new baby. The relationship with his new girlfriend has been very on and off, going from playing happy family to kicking him out and breaking up. She has kids from two previous relationships (two adults and one young teen). It is well known amongst the family that she has been verbally and physically abusive towards both my fiancées brother and her own children. I have seen this woman in passing in two occasions, but have never actually had a conversation with her. She recently gave birth to their second child, and while we want good things for them, the truth is I don’t really know this person or feel comfortable around her knowing all I know.

My fiancée and I are in agreement that we want the wedding to be a very select group of people, she is not a part of that select group. Despite having two children with his brother, my fiancée and I don’t feel inclined to invite someone we aren’t comfortable with to our out of state ceremony (especially bc there are dozens of others we’d include before this person).

We feel this decision might go over like a bomb with his side of the family. Constant interference from his parents has been a huge factor in my future BIL’s relationship, mostly because I think they’re afraid of losing their grandchildren (whom they consider the adult children and preteen are as well now). We live out of state and don’t interact with them often, so we don’t see the relationship in the same light. Truthfully, we see it as a toxic ticking time bomb that will one day end in an arrest and a call to CPS. Regardless of our reality, we anticipate a bit of outrage at excluding the girlfriend and her children from the event.

AITH here?

To start this off, I've been up since 5am and its past midnight rn so this might have horrible grammar.

Background information, im autistic, so when I have a busy day, I get really stressed, overstimulated, tired and moody

Yesterday night my bf asked for some "pictures",and I told him id send some today, forgetting id be busy! This morning I told him id be busy, he didnt say anything, I went and got my nails done, got lunch with my sister, went to 4 different shops, got ready for a party, went to dinner after, and NOW he's mad at me for not doing it today, but ill do it tomorrow because im too tired!

He's never acted this way.

AITA?

(Mid 20s btw dw)

While visiting a friend's house one evening for some over due catching up, his bff's X girlfriend decided to invite herself to the house knowing her X would be there. For context, their breakup was only a few months ago, very messy, and the X girlfriend is not in a good emotional space where her X is concerned. I knew that a complete $#!+ show was going to commence once she got there and drinks started flowing, so I braced for the drama. My friend (M and owner of the house) said he was all for the show. Sure enough, she came in and immediately started being snarky and dismissive towards her X, like him being there was a massive inconvenience when SHE was the one crashing. Her X is very sensitive and a bit dramatic so he left the room pouting. I my friend left to check on something, so while she and I were alone, I tried to gently, but firmly check her on her behavior so it did not escalate and ruin the night for everyone. To summarize, I told her to stop being snarky and if she couldn't keep things cordial and polite, then she should leave, since she was the last to arrive and knew her X would be there. She tried to gaslight me by denying her obviously rude behavior, but I wasn't having it. Later that night, I ordered food for everyone and she took a piece of brownie, ate 80% of the piece, then tried to put the uneaten pieces back in the box that still had a lot of uneaten brownie in it! I immediately stopped her before she could and told her that if she was not intending to finish it, then throw it away. She she accused me of yelling at her which I immediately apologized for and explained why I was repulsed by her action. Even though I apologized for snapping at her, she joked later when her X went to grab food by saying " DON'T PUT ANY HALF EATEN FOOD BACK IN THE BOX, OR OP WILL YELL AT YOU!" she then looked at me and said "just kidding". I smiled and said it was ok, because her X new better and would do that anyway. The rest of the night went ok and I went home late to sleep in my own bed. It only occurs to me now, that I may have been an a-hole since she brought it up later. So am I the Ahole?