Pride & Community

Hello! I have a 14 year old daughter who is an out and proud lesbian. She wants to know if her girlfriend can have a sleepover. I do allow sleepovers but never had the issue of a romantic partner sleeping over until now. What do other parents do in these situations?

I am inclined to say yes, and just have them sleep in the living room. I feel that with two girls there is no issues of unintended pregnancy, I trust my daughter (she is very modest and for a while thought she was asexual - she wants to take things slow), and I feel like there is less of a worry of power dynamic issues than in a hetero-relationship - so all that makes me worry less. But am I being naive?

Another “important” topic for Eastern countries. Instead of fixing healthcare and dealing with bigger issues let’s ban lgbt as much as possible. But, it was expected because Belarus is practically “small Russia”

Today i went to an LGBT club, and though it was early (5pm) i just wanted to sit and chill a little and maybe meet someone. There were like six people inside including the bartender and i didn't want to drink so i sat on an empty couch and started organizing pictures on my phone while tapping my foot to the music (they had some pretty good music there and spectacular bass). After about forty minutes the bartender walked over to me and asked "Hey, you doing ok?" So i answered "Umm yeah, just chilling..." "Waiting on someone?" "Umm.. yeah." Then he kinda rolled his eyes and walked away. I felt guilty because i guess he wanted me to order something so i just left. My friend was telling me that I should've just stayed and ignored the guy. But then again, i was getting increasingly lonely there. I'm very anxiety-prone, so walking up to people is a nightmare to me.

I’m a lesbian, and I’ve been dating around more, looking for something serious.

I’ve matched with multiple trans women, and felt attracted to them, but I really don’t know how to navigate the bottom surgery topic.

I want someone with a vagina, I’m not attracted to penis, and since I’m looking for something serious, I don’t wanna waste time with multiple dates if they don’t have bottom surgery yet.

I know this topic is sensitive, and I don’t wanna be one of those “what’s in your pants?” people because other than my own dating preferences, I don’t care.

So trans women, how do I navigate this while dating?

I don’t want to go on multiple dates and get to know someone, like them, just to find out that something that there’s a fundamental dealbreaker. Not to mention, not everyone plans to get surgery.

Please help me

For context, I (28M) was in the closet for like 27 years. I always knew I was different, I just couldn’t explain it and honestly was scared to be.

Last year was a lot for me, but I finally made peace with myself and accepted that I’m not straight I’m bi. I’ve come out to a few close friends and my dad (my siblings still don’t know yet).

I recently moved to a new city and started a new job. Then one day, my supervisor randomly asked if I was gay. I didn’t feel any bad vibes from it, so I just laughed it off and said no at first. But then I had this moment like… wait, who am I still hiding from?

So I took it back and said yeah, but clarified that I’m bi.

Honestly, I was kinda surprised because everyone was just cool about it. They were even happy for me. My male coworkers didn’t treat me any differently at all.

I’m just really happy and proud of myself.

Yesterday me (18M) and a bunch of my mates + a couple girlfriends were having pres before going out. One of my close friends (call him Sam) and I ended up going together, and his girlfriend came later.

Long story short, I forgot my ID and he couldn’t get into clubs anyway, so while everyone else went out, we went back to his place with his girlfriend.

For context, his girlfriend is kinda controversial in our group. I don’t really mind her, but she did try to get with me before they started dating, so it’s always been a bit weird.

We were all drinking and smoking, and at some point things started getting more open. He ended up telling me he’d hooked up (just kissed) with one of our other male friends before, which threw me off because he’s always said he’s straight. (Which I believe because lots of people kiss their friends as jokes.)

Anyway, we were all pretty crossfaded and one thing led to another and we ended up having a threesome. It felt pretty experimental and not exactly smooth, but there was stuff between all three of us and we were kinda just going with it. I topped him. We all kissed each other. We took turns fingering the gf. But he couldn’t get hard until I stopped topping. And then took ages to cum. (I was trying to go to sleep after I stopped).

Afterwards he basically said it was just experimenting and something he might do again if the moment was right.

Now I don’t really know how to feel. I don’t even fully know what I am half the time, like sometimes I feel straight, sometimes bi, sometimes gay, sometimes nothing. But I do know I don’t want to be the guy someone just experiments with and then goes back to being “straight.”

At the same time I feel like if anything like this keeps happening I could catch feelings and mess up the friendship even more than it already is.

We’ve all agreed to keep it a secret, so it’s just between us.

Any advice on if he’s actually straight? He identifies as it. Also on the whole situation?

I feel like everytime biphobia gets discussed, were accused of being privileged because we can be "straight passing" - as in, nobody recognizes that were queer on the first glance.

Issue is......literally anyone can be straight passing?? All you need to do is 1) not be visibly gnc, 2) not he visibly alt (even though straight people are more and more alt nowadays), 3) not actively make out with the same gender when you go out.

Like I'm sorry but the irony of a lesbian calling me straight passing when shes tall, skinny, wearing "clean girl aesthetic" and single is so funny to think about. There are many lesbians who date butches who pass for men, gay men who date femboys who pass for women, and bisexuals who date the same gender (or someone who just doesnt pass for the opposite gender.) The same way there are straight women who date femboys and straight men who date mascs.

At this point, I feel like they use "straight passing" as a synonym for "being attracted to the opposite gender in any capacity that looks straight to me". Because genuinely theres no way they have so little experience with homophobia that they think straights can sniff it out when youre "half straight" and therefore leave you alone.

Please, I need you back in my life. You broke me so badly and I'm still stuck in this grief. You can help me heal with one conversation. Please reach out, I keep spiraling and I'm legitimately scared of where I'm headed. I am filled with dread and hopelessness and I cannot pick myself back up this time. Please, please just give it a chance. 🙏