Pride & Community

(18m) and I recently posted on here yesterday about my professor who tried to say using “they/them” pronouns are not realistic and that I should “stay as I am”. Since that day I haven’t returned back to his class and missed it deliberately. I was in shock when he said that I shouldn’t transition into a girl and that im “handsome” the way I am. He was completely transphobic and was off topic seemingly knowing I was just asking him about the assignments he gave, and not a lecture about how I should identify. I told my parents about it and they were very upset, they told me to report him and not go back to his class. I reported it to the dean and counselors, at first they thought it was serious but when i mentioned that he said I was a “very handsome young man” they were very concerned about that. He purposely called me a “man”, when he saw that my pronouns are “they/them”. Also, the counselor told me I wasn’t the only one he tried to be inappropriate with. He was allegedly investigated and put on administrative leave, when a girl reported him for harassment. They told me he’ll be investigated again and cannot teach until then. I’m glad I reported his disgusting, predatory and transphobia comments. And thank god I wasn’t alone with him in the class for too long, I wouldn’t know what he’d even do to me.

So I am newly single, first time in 12 years & I’ve always had these threesome fantasies or girl on girl fantasies and others. Where would I go to explore these? I have been in a really sheltered relationship so even knowing where or how to explore is so foreign to me.

My wife wants to have a threesome with me and another guy and i immediately said no but finally agreed to do one but then after I agreed she was saying she also wants me to do things with the guy which I have never done anything with a man before or even thought of it! What are some pros and cons do doing this with her and another guy

So I know this is for gay guys but I’m kinda gay like 60% 🤣 and today at 24 I told my parent “ I’m bi and I want you to know that I sleep with women and men”. Exactly like this

It was a nice experience for the most part. My brother kinda ignored that and went to his house but my parents said that whatever makes you happy and stuff like that. They were a little afraid about STDs as only with guys I can catch them but for the most part they were very nice and thoughtful.

After that I went for a walk and when I came back my mother asked me if it’s their fault that I did not tell them sooner and if I had someone to help me with the bad stuff when I was younger and closeted. It was very nice thought and I just want to tell you guys.

I fell like it was the most freeing thing in the world but at the same time I feel like I don’t have anything only mine because after 15 years that I know, I told them too.

I am à women, and when I have a bf I said I am bi and when I have a gf I prefer to say that I am a lesbian.

I feel like I never learned how to be in a relationship and now that I’m in my 30’s, it feels like I’m too independent to ever be in one.

I’m kind of upset seeing how straight people are able to freely date in high school, essentially gaining practice from such a young age.

I spent years and years in the closet, and now that I finally feel comfortable enough in my own skin, I feel like I’m too set in my ways to fully share my life with another person. I hate sleeping in the same bed with someone else, I start to resent my partners when they get too involved in my life. I hate that I feel that way, but it’s just how I feel. Any thoughts?

Bi question

My wife and I recently started having conversations about bringing more people into our bedroom for the first time. This is largely because I (m34) am bi and really craving that kind of sexual experience. As we talk this through this we’ve discussed bringing in a guy for us to share an experience with, and that brings her some anxiety. She described an ideal situation where we meet another bisexual couple and swap, where she has some fun with the woman and me with the man. I’m excited by the idea, but I just don’t know how common a mutually bi couple is within the lifestyle. We are communicating a ton and are planning to go to an event and mingle to dip our toes, so that’s great, but does anyone have any experience with mutually bi couples or have any insight to what we are looking for? Is this a needle in the haystack kind of situation?

I (F22) have been seeing this discourse ALL over TikTok recently and I genuinely want to understand people’s perspectives on it because I feel like there’s so much nuance getting lost.

I think it started because of an interview with Victoria Monét where she talked about her experiences with women, and now people are debating whether a woman can actually call herself bisexual if she’s attracted to women sexually/romantically but only sees herself marrying or seriously dating a man.

A lot of people in these discussions are saying that if a woman says “I’d sleep with a woman but I’d only marry a man,” it’s inherently misogynistic because it reduces women to sexual experiences instead of serious life partners. And I’m trying to understand that perspective, but I also feel conflicted about it.

For context, I’m 22 and I’ve considered myself bisexual for years. I kind of discovered my attraction to women through exposure to gay culture and honestly even through adult content growing up. Even when I watched heterosexual content, my focus was always on the woman.

When I got to college, especially because I went to a theater arts school, a lot of my friends were gay and were basically like “girl… you are not straight” LMAO. And I used to be like “no I’m straight, I just would sleep with women.” Which obviously sounds insane in hindsight 😭

Since then I’ve kissed women, had sex with women, been physically intimate with women, etc. But I’ve never dated a woman or been in a relationship with one. I know I may get torn apart for this, but even in that, I’ve always naturally envisioned myself ending up with a man long term. And this is where people start saying that mindset is misogynistic.

I’ve seen people get mad when women say women are “harder to date,” but honestly… they kind of are? And I don’t even mean that negatively. Men are generally easier to approach because the social expectation is lower. You can approach a man with mediocre game and there’s a decent chance he’ll still go for it because a lot of men are just trying to get laid. Women tend to require more emotional intelligence, more intentionality, more vulnerability, etc. Again, I mean that in a good way, as women are just more intelligent and developed in that way.

But I also don’t know why it’s automatically misogynistic for a bisexual woman to acknowledge she prefers men romantically. People can’t really control what they gravitate toward.

And I keep thinking about the reverse scenario. If a bisexual woman said “I could see myself marrying a woman, but I’d only sleep with men,” would people call her a misandrist? Probably not. Or if a bisexual man said that he could only see himself marrying a woman, despite his attraction and desire for a man…would people dogpile him?

I guess what confuses me is that I’ve always been told sexuality is a spectrum and that the LGBTQ+ community is supposed to be open and fluid, but sometimes it feels like bisexuality specifically comes with SO many rules and labels. It’s like if your attraction doesn’t manifest in the exact correct social way, people start invalidating your sexuality entirely.

So I’m genuinely asking in good faith:

1. Is it actually misogynistic for a bisexual woman to prefer men romantically while still being attracted to women?
2. If someone is sexually attracted to women and has been intimate with women, but realistically only sees themselves marrying a man, are they still bisexual?
3. Where is the line between internalized societal conditioning vs just… natural preference?

I’m genuinely open to hearing different perspectives because I feel like this conversation online has become VERY black and white when real people’s experiences usually aren’t. And selfishly, I want to understand if I’ve been calling myself bisexual for years and that actually isn’t true.

Small edit: Reddit, I understand you don’t like TikTok, but I just referenced it as the place I found the discussion started since it was trending on there. Just wanted to clarify, but my post isn’t really about being anti-tiktok, but more so the discussion of bisexuality as a whole. Thanks!