Human Stories & AMA

I20F have been in childcare since my early teens. I have been a live in nanny for over a year with this family (4kids.) It’s a lot and my bosses were always a little odd but I made 2k weekly and enjoyed it.

I had got a week off and went to my hometown. I slept with an old fling and was irresponsible. I got pregnant and chose to not continue it. I had asked my boss (the wife) if I could have two days off for medical reasons. She pushed the matter and wanted to know what was going on and I trusted her so I explained the situation. She immediately began questioning me about how if it was her husbands and that’s why I chose too and then gave me way to much info on their marriage problems and his past infidelity.

I told her it wasn’t his and she didn’t seem to believe me but agreed for me to have these days off. Afterwards I noticed tensions were extremely high, she set up cameras in the home and it was just an extremely uncomfortable environment. Everyone was being very odd to me except for the children. I decided to put in my two weeks and told them they could pay me the way they alway do.

Well it had been a few weeks and they still had not paid me. After reaching out tons of times they sent me $600 then blocked me. I was upset by this, my friend suggested I make a Facebook post warning other people. I didn’t want to put all my info out like I’m doing here so she advised me to say uncomfortable work environment and refusal to pay me so I did. A few hours later I got spam calls and messages how it was never uncomfortable til the end and I said well yea you made it then refused to pay. They are still trying to get me to take the post down. AITA

I like to have snacks in my office, and I enjoy having something for people to take when they come in for a visit. I have a container of chocolate caramel thins open for anyone to take. The problem is that when many of the other women in my office take one they do this whole song and dance “Ohhhh I shouldn’t ohhh it’s so bad ohhh but i just love chocolate ohhh it’s so naughty”

Stuff like this just annoys the crap out of me. Take a candy or don’t. But don’t force me to participate in whatever weird self deprecating thing you’re doing. Especially calling it “naughty” like you’re scolding a child. I always just smile blankly and they will look at me like I’m supposed to give them permission.

I finally had it yesterday when one of the women stood in my doorway and pointed and was like “Ohhhh I looooove those caramels, they’re so good. But ugh I shouldn’t. You’re so bad for having these.”

I said “Can you stop doing that? It’s making me uncomfortable.”

She pretended to not know what I was talking about. 

I said “Are you okay? You come in here and you act like you need my permission to eat a piece of candy. You keep calling it “naughty” like you’re a little kid. It’s super weird behavior and makes me feel uncomfortable, so please stop.”

She gave me a weird look and said she was just being silly, and nevermind. She left. I found out later on that she said I ripped her head off and warned one of the other women who’s always doing all that “ohhh I’m soooo bad” crap to avoid getting candy from me unless she wants to be scolded.

I’m not going to stop having candy out, because there are SOME people who can do it without the whole song and dance. But am I really the asshole for just asking her to stop doing that “oooh I’m so bad oooo” crap?

My manager is getting married to her sweetheart in about a month and a half. We have a small company with only a few employees and I just got an email requesting we close ours doors completely on a Saturday (usually our highest sales day) so that she can invite her other coworkers. Everyone… but me. She’s been my manager for years, we talk several times a week, text, etc. We’ve been through some tough situations, I’ve mentored her, helped her out when she needed it, written letters of recommendation for her place to rent and basically been pretty close with her. I didn’t expect to be invited to her wedding but thought maybe I would be since we are so close. I certainly didn’t expect everyone to be invited but me, that threw me. Getting that email really brought up some feelings for me. It felt really insensitive to invite everyone but me, including past employees of mine. It also feels really selfish for her to think that we could close our doors completely on a busy day that literally pays their paychecks. We have been struggling so so hard as a small business to make it for the last year. So much so that I can’t even take a paycheck and have been working 40 hours a week without pay. I don’t know what to do or say and I could really use some advice. I haven’t said anything yet but I feel like I should explain how tone deaf her request is. Am I wrong if I do?

I (17M) have a sister (15F) who is obsessed with anime to an incredibly disturbing degree. Her favorite character is someone named Shuichi Saihara, who she claims she is in a "relationship" with and has posters and figures of all over her room. She roleplays as another character named Kokichi Oma (I had to google the names of these characters because I can never remember these off the top of my head) and wears some shitty costume 24/7. It has stains on it, by the way.

I am so sick of her. Her roleplaying is cringe, and she goes into meltdowns and screams if I forget to call her by "Kokichi" instead of her actual name, which causes me to get in trouble with my parents. And don't get me started with how much she STINKS. She doesn't fucking shower. At all. According to her, "Monokuma (whoever that is) won't allow it." This is not an anime. This is real life. Take a fucking shower.

She also looks borderline emaciated on the rare occasion I see her. She barely leaves her room nowadays, and the last time I saw her room it looked like a fucking dumpster.

My last straw was when she asked me in front of my friends to play some kind of knife game with her. Is she out of her mind? I said no, obviously. This pissed her off and caused her to grab one of my dad's beer bottles from the trash and throw it in my vicinity. Since this has happened all of my friends refuse to have me over or even talk to me because they're afraid of my sister. Her bullshit is ruining my life. I am sick of her.

My husband’s friend stored a whole deer in our deep freezer. By this I mean, he has different cuts of meat, adding up to a whole deer. He has ribs, chops, steak, ground meat, and the like. He didn’t have room is his house, so he’s using our deep freezer. All the meat is nicely vacuum sealed and labeled.

Every time he comes to our house, which is once a month or so, I ask him if he wants to take some meat home with him, and he says no, “maybe next time.” He’s been saying this for two years. So we’ve had the meat in our freezer for 2, going on 3 years.

A few times I’ve taken out some of the meat and made myself a meal out of it. My husband says I shouldn’t do that, but I argue, it’s basically our meat now. I’d rather eat it now, than let it go bad. I’m not going to remind our friend that he has meat in our freezer anymore, because that meat is now mine.

AITA for eating the meat in our freezer that my husband’s friend stored in there?

My (35/M) partner (35/F) and our child (3/M) were invited to wedding that takes place on Halloween.

The wedding is fancy dress (no costumes) and I asked if there would be candy for the little ones (no), which I entirely understand -- their wedding, their choice.

My son is finally at an age where he sort of gets Halloween, and I was excited to take him trick-or-treating because I look forward to making memories with him, and I don't want to lose out on them. I don't think bringing him to a fancy wedding on Halloween would be fun or fair to any of us. He's not going to want to sit through the ceremony, and we're going to have to leave the reception early so that he can sleep.

I explained to my friends that I wasn't sure if we could make it and their response was to tell me that it's their wedding, a once-in-a-lifetime event, and that he could 'miss one Halloween' because he 'wouldn't remember it.' Again, I get that he might not remember it, but I would.

I'm conflicted. On the one hand yes I want to support my friends. On the other hand I feel like I'd be doing wrong by my son if we go. WIBTA if we didn't attend?

tl;dr: Friends decided their wedding is going to be held on Halloween. I'm not sure if I want to go because I have a child that I want to take trick-or-treating and would likely not enjoy the wedding.

So around Covid , I was a teenager 16 - 17, I was reading erotica and the device was connected to my dad's phone via Gmail. He saw my google tabs and barged into my room, demanding I give him the tablet, then he woke mom up and she started crying , " I sacrificed so much for u, I gave up so much for u ", she started hitting me, my dad was about to slap me ,. This went on for 6hrs where they were just interrogating me , my dad accused me of having a boyfriend and went through entire search history, Way to go google . After this episode I was strictly monitored and always under surveillance. I hated this day so much cause , I was crying and Crying but they just won't budge .

2 shiny tiny details are

1. my dad himself watches 18+ videos on face book
2. my brother who pretended to be all mighty and read the sentences of book tried to sleep with me after a year ...

I (33F) work for a family farm with a flexible schedule (mix of office/WFH). My bosses (both 40M) are cousins, and their boss (65M) is the president and FIL of my main boss. I’m not related to anyone.

We have 3 office spaces: two private offices and a shared area with 4 desks (mine, one boss, a remote coworker, and a “community desk” with a dead computer). The president’s wife, “Lyn” (65F) runs an unrelated business but uses our office/software for her business. The community computer died 3 years ago and the new one hasn’t been set up, and I have the most flexible schedule, so she uses my desk when I’m not there.

I don’t mind sharing, but Lyn is consistently disrespectful of my space. Every time she uses my desk, she leaves trash/dirty dishes, takes my supplies, and once broke a sentimental item and threw it away without telling me, which I found and fixed later. My boss knows this has been ongoing but hasn’t done much to fix it. Lyn is also generally rude and doesn’t take feedback well, so I’ve avoided confronting her directly.

On Wednesday, I was WFH when she used my desk. She logged into my computer and closed everything, including an accounting entry I’d spent over an hour on that couldn’t be recovered. She didn’t tell me when she left like I asked her to, so I had to redo it late that night after my kids went to bed.

Thursday, I stopped in and found my desk a mess again, including a used tissue next to my keyboard. I took a photo and sent it to my boss with “Lyn was here.” No response. I know both he and Lyn used my desk again later that day.

Now it’s Friday, I’m back in the office, and the used tissue is still sitting on my desk. I need to be here today, but I’m honestly grossed out and frustrated. After 3 years of this, I feel like I need to set a boundary.

WIBTA if I tell my boss I’ll be working from home until Lyn comes in to clean/sanitize my desk, and that any in-office tasks are his responsibility until then?

Since school I’ve had a good friend. We’re both 30 now and we’ve been close since we were 10. For the last few years he’s been sporadic with his messages. He’s stopped messaging for various reasons a few months at time for the last 3 years. 

Last year was been particularly hard for me since my dad passed away. My friend knew this and was there for me when he found out what happened. Shortly after that he stopped replying to messages. 

He left my message on read when I messaged at Christmas and didn’t bother asking how my first Christmas without my dad was. There’s photos of him out drinking with other friends etc so it’s not like he’s not talking to anyone. I’d checked in to see if anything was wrong but he continued to ignore me.

Last weekend my girlfriend and I were out for drinks. He was on a date at the same bar and came over to me. He introduced me to his date and said I was a good friend. I mentioned that I was busy and would appreciate being left alone as we were on a date.

He didn’t listen a kept talking and telling his date how well we knew each other and how long we’d been friends for etc.

His date asked what he was like and I just said he disappears for months at a time and repeatedly ignores people and mentioned he hadn’t bother checking in on me on my first Christmas after my dad’s death and just ignored every message I’ve be sent him for the last 10 months.

His date left and he got annoyed and accused me of ruining his date but I just pointed out I hadn’t said anything about untrue and I did ask to be left alone and he didn’t listen to me.

AITAH for “ruining my friends date”?

Specific observation I made and I don't really know how to word it. But one good example I have is my grandma. She is completely sound of mind, and used to be a teacher. She reads books every day. But when I show her a meme on my phone that has an image and text, oftentimes she says she didn't get it but it's because she didn't read the text, I have to show her again and tell her to read. Or in the supermarket when she's paying with card, the machine screen says "input your password" and she always asks the cashier if she can put the password already.

This is absolutely not a new thing for her and she can see fine with her glasses, and I don't think it's a lack of tech savviness because she spends a lot of time on her phone and sends me a lot of memes herself lol. But it's interesting that she can see written words and not acknowledge the meaning unless prompted to.

I saw someone mentioning this phenomenon on twitter and wondered if someone else knows someone like this/is like this.

I (F39) have been with my partner (M41) for almost 9 years. We have a young child together and also run businesses together.

Before having our child, I worked long hours and was very involved in the business. Since becoming a mother, my priorities and capacity have changed.

Right now, I'm handling most of the childcare and a large part of the household responsibilities. Despite that, my partner expects me to go back to working the same way I did before - long hours, high involvement, no real limits

We tried a setup where he would take care of our child while I worked, but in practice I still ended up managing most of our child's routine (meals, naps, sleep), while also working and taking care of other responsibilities.

One of the biggest issues is that he doesn't want to take on a full transition into being a primary caregiver, but at the same time expects me to step back into my previous workload.

He has even told me that because of my decision not to return to work at that level, he feels like he "can't fully be a father" or that I'm limiting him - which is confusing to me, because I feel like I'm already carrying most of the parenting responsibilities

I've tried to explain that I need a more balanced and realistic arrangement, but these conversations usually turn into blame or get dismissed.

At this point, I feel emotionally and physically drained, and I don't want to continue like this - either in the business or in this dynamic.

He believes I've changed too much and that I should be able to handle everything like before.

I feel like I'm being pushed beyond my limits

So AlTAH for refusing to go back to my previous workload and questioning whether I can continue like this?

Hi. I didn't expect my post to blow up.

I want to start by confirming that yes, I am autistic, and I was considered "profoundly autistic" as a child. Now would be diagnosed as level two or three. I have worked very hard to be as functional as I am. I am not against children as a concept, I just can't cope with them.

I made a mistake in my original post where I said the home inspection was on Wednesday. I meant Thursday, which is today. I prewrote the post a few days ago and decided to post on a whim.

Anyway.

This morning I showed my post to my husband. He said he read it, but then we had the social worker over, and things were kind of insane. The social worker ended up telling us that we didn't pass a home inspection.

We have a list of things we need to change and we have another inspection booked for next week.

Unfortunately one of the concerns the sw had was my pets. I have free range rabbits and several fish tanks, which pose several different risks. The fish tanks are able to be pulled from shelves, a child could fall into my big one, lots of wires that are very grabbable.

The rabbits are just bite risks, and they poop all over. Obviously I clean up after them but if a child were to put a dropping in their mouth that would not be great.

I sat down with my husband after she left. Laid my feelings out, and my new concerns in regards to my animals. I can move my fish tanks to a locked room (my "office") but my rabbits are still free roam.

Not to mention my rabbits room (where they go at night) or my office will be needed as a bedroom. So either my fish or my rabbits have to go because they can't be in the same room.

I was upset, but I understand more now why he feels the need to take the boys in. Everyone who said they are a connection to his sister was right.

We both cried. We love each other but we don't see a way to make this work. He feels strongly about saving them. We both know I could never cope with them. I don't want to have to pick between my rabbits and my fish.

I called my parents. They have said I can move back home if I need. I'm unhappy with it, as they are very overbearing and all independence I've worked hard to develop will essentially be gone. But beggers can't be choosers, and I'm not getting divorced, so that's a win.

Nothing is set in stone. We're going to see how the inspections and things work out first. But this is probably what's going to happen.

To everyone who asked me how he was going to manage them all he said his other sister is happy to help while works, she just couldn't foster them because she doesn't have enough space. Which is true. She has six kids in one bedroom already.

I hope this explained everything. I enjoy replying to comments so I will still be replying to comments here and on my other post. Thank you.

I used to post stories, comment on friends' stuff, keep up with everyone. Deleted it as a test to see who would reach out. Three months later, maybe 2 people asked where I went. And honestly I don't miss it. I just have way more time now and I stopped comparing my life to other people's highlights.

If you have a 30-year mortgage, making just one extra full payment per year or splitting it into small monthly additions can significantly reduce the total interest you pay and cut years off your loan.

The trick: apply the extra amount directly to the principal, not future payments.

Even adding a little extra each month like rounding up your payment can make a noticeable difference over time. It’s one of the simplest ways to save thousands without changing your lifestyle too much.

I got a bit of backlash in my DM’s from a previous post in a rape support subreddit about how not reporting my rape makes me partly responsible if he does it again to someone else.

I know this may seem bad and people may judge me, but I am not responsible for his actions, what he does is not my concern and if I was in the same position again, I still wouldn’t report it.

I don’t want to be interviewed and interrogated by police, some of which who won’t believe me. I don’t want my body examined, swabbed, photographed and treated like a crime scene. I don’t want my life dissected and exposed by the defence, I don’t want to have to defend myself in a court room full of strangers. I don’t want everyone in my life to see me differently and treat me like a victim. I don’t want my friends and family to have that image of me in their heads.

I’m not cut out for any of that and I’ve accepted that.

So I would make the same decision. Every. Time.

And anything he does in the future is absolutely nothing to do with me. I don’t owe anything to anyone. Self care and moving on is more important to me than a hypothetical situation a hypothetical stranger could be in.

I would feel terrible if I knew he had done it to someone else, but I wouldn’t be responsible.

I'm posting this on an alt account because I don't want my primary account being linked to this.

It happened a few years ago. I've never talked about this with anyone before, in person or online, but it's becoming too much to bear and I need to vent for a moment.

I was 14 at the time? Maybe 15.

Growing up, I always thought my family was pretty normal. My parents seemed to have a good relationship, my sister and I had a good relationship with them and with each other. We came from an upper-middle class family, although my parents lived quite frugally, so we didn't have any particular economic problems. In short, life was good and I thought my family was okay.

A few months earlier, dad had been in a bicycle accident. Luckily he didn't get *too* hurt, but he had to wear a cast on his right leg for a while. For this reason he and mom slept on a sofa bed we had in the living room, since all the other available beds were on the ground floor. One particular evening, my sister was at her boyfriend's house and I went down to the living room to watch a movie with Mom and Dad that was playing on TV. I think it was 300. I settled next to them in an armchair. I fell asleep at some point.

I don't know how much time had passed when I woke up, but the movie was over and the TV was off. All the lights were also out, except for a floor lamp in the corner. Dad was on top of mom, kissing her and taking off her clothes. She mumbled something and I thought I heard a "stop." Honestly, I'm not sure.

I was extremely confused and didn't know what to do, so I remained silent and still. She squirmed a little, but he held her until she stopped moving, then he had his way with her. After he finished, he rolled off of her and she ran into the bathroom, staying there for a while, then came back out, laid down next to him, and they fell asleep.

The next day I wanted to ask her what I had seen, but I never got around to it. I wonder if what I saw was rape and if it wasn't an isolated incident.

I [22M] had promised her [23F] I'd drive her back home, I admit it, but we had hang out at my place all day long and it had gotten late, it was midnight and I was too tired to drive her back home, it's a 2h drive total, and one time I had already risked my life on the way back from dropping her off, struggling to keep my eyes open and barely getting by.

The reason I am supposed to drive her back home despite the conditions (one time, instead of sleepiness it was an awful awful storm with so much rain going on outside, super dangerous to drive on an highway) is her dad, he doesn't want her to sleep at my place even now that's it's been almost a year of me dating her, one time it was late and I asked to sleep at her place and he agreed, but only at the condition that she'd sleep in the bed with her brother and I'd sleep by myself in her bed. And yes, the ages I wrote down are correct, we are not teens.

Now I feel guilty about not driving her back home, I did offer to sleep for 2 hours, wake up and drive her back home in the night, but that was also not an option to her because of her curfew, so a huge argument happened and we almost broke up, her dad was pretty pissed to get up from bed to drive those 2 hours to pick her up, he even had work the next day, but I guess that was less important than the loss of dignity and purity that would happen if his ADULT daughter fell asleep in a safe place with her boyfriend who she has been with for so long.

So who's the asshole? I feel like it's both me and the dad, my fault is not thinking of driving her back home earlier when I had more energy, and her dad's for being so controlling he'd rather have her risk a car crash than letting her sleep in a safe place. But I am here to hear your opinion, it's always good to hear other perspectives and maybe I'm fully in the wrong.

My husband(28m) and I (28f) have been married for 7.5 years and I think it’s all coming to an end.

I want my marriage to work, but I feel like I’m the only one that truly wants to work on things.

For some background: we only knew each other for 6 month before we got married (I know, I know.). And everything seemed great, our values seemed to align and it seemed like we had the same goals for life.

Our plan looked like me supporting him for the first few years in his career and then it would be time for him to support me while we started our family.

Well when it came time to start trying for kids, he decided he wasn’t ready and needed more time to work on himself to get to a place he felt ready to be a dad. Which was a bit heartbreaking for me, but I don’t want to have kids with someone who isn’t ready so we waited. And waited. But he just has’t felt ready.

I knew he wasn’t ready, so during those years I didn’t talk about children because I knew it stressed him out and that killed me, because I wanted to be excited for our future children. But one day a couple of months ago he told me that my desire for children made him feel unloved.

He knew I had an undeniable desire to have children, it feels like my purpose in life. But now he is throwing that in my face? I don’t know, it’s confusing.

While I’ve been supporting him through many career changes, my own career fell to the wayside and I had to let my license expire due to where we lived at the time and not being able to get home to renew it.

I’ve only been working part time the last 4-5 years due to him wanting me at home more, so that we could have more time together.

But now sometimes he says that he likes the idea of him being the stay at home parent, which a few years ago when I had a career that would have been fine with me, but now I don’t have a reliable income or let alone a license to keep working on.

It’s the inconsistency that stresses me out and I never truly know what he is thinking.

And our sex life is nonexistent these days. During our first few years he was very sexually pushy and we had sex every night due to him having to have an orgasm to be able to sleep, I had a breakdown due to being so tired from work and the lack of sleep during that time and things changed for the better.

I thought we were both on the same page and respected each other’s boundaries, until a couple of years ago.

He came to me and said that since my sex drive was so much lower than his, that he wouldn’t be initiating sex anymore and that it would be up to me, at first this sounded fine to me, but the pressure of it all and my past issues regarding sex started to come back and it has caused me to have a full on sex aversion and now I can’t bring myself to be in the mood at all. Sex turns me off so much now and I just want to cry.

My husband loves going down on me and things like that, but it just grosses me out so much. And I don’t know how to get past it.

I know I need therapy again, but I can’t really afford it right now. Everything is just falling apart and I don’t know how to keep it together anymore.

He doesn’t put any effort into anything, I have to be the one to bring anything up and I’m getting tired of it. I think I’m done fighting for us.

I don’t know if any of this makes any sense, but I just needed to get it off my chest in some way. I can barely make sense of anything anymore. I don’t have anyone in my life that I can talk to about all of this and I just needed it out.

I’m currently experiencing internal conflict on this because of the fact my sister (F27) is still in hospital, having had her baby two days ago.

For context:

My (F28) grandmother (68) is unwell, on medication and limited in her mobility. My sister is supposed to be her carer, but the reality is that she is always caring for my sister’s children (7 & 2).

She doesn’t tend to say “no” when she should because my sister has stopped her from seeing them as punishment in the past. My sister claims otherwise, but everyone else in the family knows she can be spiteful like this.

The actual issue is that my sister dropped the children off on Tuesday night, specifying that their Dad would collect them on Thursday afternoon if all went to plan.

The baby was born on Wednesday morning. My sister sent photos and selfies to everyone, saying all is well. I had received 20+ photos from her at 5 am yesterday. However, she hasn’t checked-in on her kids and their dad has not reached out either (which is bothering my grandmother).

My grandmother has been calling me numerous times over the past two days, sounding absolutely distressed about the younger child in particular. She has also said that she is not feeling well enough to keep watching them.

I told her to contact my sister if she doesn’t have their dad’s number (I don’t have it myself), and she said my sister hasn’t responded to a single message but is leaving her on read.

I don’t know if that means she is busy because she has been posting all over social media, sending selfies, and texting other relatives. It seems like she is specifically ignoring my grandmother.

Obviously, I don’t know what is going on at the hospital, the reason why the kids are still with my grandmother with no update on when they will be collected, and why my sister is not replying to messages…

But I am p*ssed about it.

I would love to know if I would be out-of-line to reach out on my grandmother’s behalf. I don’t know if it is rude to do with the timing… but I am more concerned about my grandmother than my sister at this point.

Not sure if I have forgotten anything. Will update if I have.

TIA!

Hello, I've never really posted anything like this online before, and this might seem really tame when compared to other confessions, but whatever. For the sake of privacy I will exclude any real names and some personal details and change certain details to further add anonymity. This might be long, no worries if you don't read it, I honestly just need to confess this for some catharsis.

Basically, I live with my best friend (Marcus) and his wife (Julia) and have for nearly the entirety of their relationship. They have been together for around 7 years at this point. My best friend and I have known each other since high school, which at this point has been well over 15 years (my poor fucking millennial knees).

If I can describe Marcus and Julia's relationship (in my totally unbiased opinion/s), I would say that they are loving, both nerdy types (so am I, no shade), and overall have a fantastic foundation of friendship and enjoy each other's company. There has however, been a huge major issue in their relationship that honestly gets glazed over by both of them. In the entirety of their relationship they have had sex approximately four times or so. The sex was also mostly front loaded in the relationship and hasn't even occurred post marriage. I know this because Marcus confessed to me that the relationship nearly ended due to the lack of sex multiple times but they chose to work it out. Earlier in the relationship Marcus told me that Julia had a particular sexual kink that Marcus wasn't particularly comfortable with, and for some reason Marcus never made an effort to pursue her kink and I think this contributed heavily to tanking their sexual compatibility. The kink isn't even anything horrible, it's just some dom/sub play with Julia being the sub and wanting a dom that would praise but also take control during sex. A very vanilla 50 Shades imo

This has led to two people in an overall happy relationship, that get along great for the most part but have a completely dead bedroom. If they are happy that's totally cool, but I have some direct and admittedly indirect evidence that might tell a different story.

Marcus is sexually frustrated within his marriage and has expressed that to me on several occasions openly and freely. That is about as direct as it gets, I know he still struggles with this. Julia has had more than a few instances of very flirty, albeit from my biased pov, interactions with me that honestly left my head swimming a bit. One time Marcus was heading to the store and Julia and I were hanging out in our apartment living room together and she suddenly, after Marcus left, came and sat right next to me on the couch and leaned on me to show me a tik tok that she liked. She was putting her face extremely close to mine and leaning on me with her arm and hands, and at that point in time it made me a bit uncomfortable because it felt so blatantly flirty.

Shortly after that occurred Marcus went out of town on a work trip for a few days and this was the first time Julia and I had the apartment to ourselves. A day after Marcus left a loud car crash happened right outside our apartment at 6am causing a huge uproar of screeching brakes and crumbling metal. This sound immediately woke Julia and I up and she immediately called me on the phone. She was panicked, understandably, and needed someone to help calm her down. I came out of my room to hers and she is frantically looking out of her bedroom window at the crash scene. I gently guide her away from the window and she kinda collapsed at the threshold of her bedroom door in a panic and so I sat next to her on the floor. I placed my hand on her shoulder and just tried talking to her and thankfully after a few minutes she calms down and even laughs a bit. To paint the scene a bit I am wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and honestly some pretty slutty shorts because I was just sleeping in my room and had no intention of being seen in them. That was a relevant detail because after comforting Julia for a few minutes on the floor next to each other, she started rubbing her hand on my bare thigh pretty close to my junk, and kept it there for a bit.

I kinda froze here and after what felt like an eternity in an oddly specific taboo pocket dimension, where the only thing that happens is your friend's wife rubs your upper thigh for an uncomfortable length of time, while staring at you intently, I shambled to my feet and helped her up as well. I awkwardly walked over to the living room and she promptly followed and sat on the couch next to where I was standing. We continued to maintain a kinda flirty and easy flowing conversation for the next hour before I admitted to being quite tired after the adrenaline settled down and probably needed to go back to sleep. I kept my distance from Julia the rest of the time while Marcus was out of town, partly out of being tired but mainly because my head was going crazy.

These events took place around a year ago and after that it was like a switch flipped and I have just kept lusting after Julia despite her being my best friend's wife. I find myself trying to put myself around Julia sometimes when Marcus is off somewhere and it always results in a seemingly flirty interaction with her. One time Julia even rejected Marcus's call when we were talking while he was out of the apartment somewhere and she even made a flirty comment roughly saying,"Marcus would be so jealous if he knew I rejected his call for us to keep talking." She said that while maintaining direct and intense eye contact with me but then I awkwardly chuckled and made en excuse to leave. There have been many other flirty micro-interactions between Julia and I since then, but I fear even Tolkien might find me a bit long-winded in my descriptions if he might somehow have the displeasure of finding himself reading this post.

Masturbation also seems to steer towards the thought of Julia nearly every time, and on a few occasions I have come close to straight confessing to her how much I want her. The idea of sending a risky text to Julia to test the waters and then sending an "oops sorry, wrong person" if need be (pretty lame, I know) turns me on more than I care to admit. This is all incredibly lustful, and while Julia and I definitely have great chemistry in many ways, the tension is entirely sexual. This has of course made it more difficult to hang out around them, and while I might just be delusional, I unfortunately feel like it's entirely possible there is a universe where I betray my best friend and start a sexual relationship with his wife behind his back. The thought of doing something so incredibly awful and selfish makes me feel like a shite person and an even worse friend, but truthfully it gets me going more than anything else.

Seems a bit silly to type all of this out, and I'm sure my grammar was teetering on brain-rot levels, but maybe it will allow me to push the idea of sleeping with my friend's wife out of my head. Hopefully, I can turn my attention to something more productive and healthy.