AITAH for going to my DIL mom regarding wedding planning
My (62F) son (25M) Gabe, is marrying (22F) Lindsey. I’ve met Lindsey a handful of times & I can tell my son is head over heels for her. She’s kind but she tries a bit too hard. For instance, everytime she’s over she brings desserts that she has to make homemade. They’re okay my husband loves them but ever since she came around I’ve started baking a bit more too. When she came over for dinner I offered her one of my homemade desserts & she said she was “full” which it was clear she was rudely making excuses. I just responded back to her saying “sorry it’s not a Lindsey cookie” which after that she awkwardly took it.
Ever since Lindsey came in the picture, Gabe never talks to me or comes over the way he used to & im sure she is telling him to distance himself.
I honestly didn’t know they were that serious they’d only been dating for 7 months and Gabe decided he wanted to propose to her ?? I didn’t necessarily agree to this but he says that he’s never felt like this before and they spend every second together & he knows what he wants ?
Fast forward to there engagement- Gabe sends me a picture of Lindsey with the ring. I’m sitting with my 2 daughters and my step daughter & I text Lindsey saying she needs to facetime my daughters or text them about the ring. A few seconds later my step daughter says that Lindsey sent her a picture of the ring. I immediately text Lindsey that it was rude to text my stepdaughter before his sisters about this. She apologized thankfully & ended up texting them too.
Now as far as the wedding goes, I found out that Lindsey & Gabe went to her parents and sat down planning everything. I found this extremely rude & inconsiderate they didn’t let me make any decisions & they didn’t even consult me about the date of the wedding.
I talked to Gabe a couple times & told him how i hoped to be more involved & he kind of just shrugged it off. I decided to take matters into my own hands and reach out to Lindsey’s mother. Now, I’ve never met her before but I simply texted asking if there was any more decisions to be made that I would get to be part of making them. Lindsey’s mom was kind of rude in her response saying “I think you should coordinate that with Lindsey & Gabe.”
I told Gabe about this and he agreed with about how rude it was. The next day Gabe calls me & said it was rude of me to text Lindsey’s mother about making descions and that I should’ve texted Lindsey directly. He also started telling that I never took the time to get to know Lindsey and my expectations were misplaced that I shouldn’t have assumed i would be planning the wedding with her. He started coming at me saying I’m always cold to her during ever family gathering & i “never took the time to get to know her.” Truthfully, Gabe doesn’t know what he’s talking about. It’s clear that Lindsey just started dramatizing everything so she could create a wedge in our relationship. I just want some second opinions to see AITAH ?