AITA as I want to tell my husbands mistresses husband that they are cheating?
I , F51 have been married to a M52 for 21 years.
I guess my biggest mistake is that I have always believed in'for better or worse' part of the vows. He was always a fun partner but challenging to live with, messy , disorganized and always taking me for granted. I quit working when our kids were born as he has always prioritized work and it seemed like the best decision for the family. He travelled a lot etc.
He is extremely extrovert, I am not so always liked to have a posse around, prioritizing that over our fsmily unit time. This has also forced us to spend too much time with his a$$hole family who don't treat him well. I always had his back. Well, he was always a drinker and it got so bad that he had to go to rehab after many years of depressive drinking alone and being verbally abusive. Our relationship was not good. This has made me feel very confrontationally adverse and probably have ptsd. ( I worried about him dying g and shielding my kids from the worst of it)
I told no one about this and should have left then. His family don't know he was in rehab.
Here's the thing; now he claims that his drinking was the result OF our bad relationship, that I have problems am not happy and that it had no consequences as the kids didn't know( wtf? Is it that my efforts?!)
He doesn't include me in social outings now at all.
Now I discover he has been sleeping g with his married friend , I discovered their text exchange which he then deleted before I screen shot it.
Saying stuff like he was going to leave me once our daughter went to college ....
What should I do? Should I just blow it all up; tell everyone who will listen about his drinking, and cheating or put up with it because I am not financially independent and his family are rich? That sounds bad but when you have teens and you can offer nothing and they can offer holidays, cottage , family etc it matters.
We also live in his country; not mine and we moved here after the kids were born so his friends are my only friends . They would choose him.
I'm so lonely and alone.
Out of bitterness I just want to f' over her life too by telling her husband. She has cheated on him before. Should I just tell everyone who will listen?.