AITA for not wanting my ex husband to move in with me and my kids
Me and my husband (Ryan) are going through a divorce. We are all moving out of our town home and I thought into separate places.
The plan was for Ryan to ask his ex wife (Raquelle) and her husband (Ken) if he could stay with them and pay rent there because he is close with both of them. Raquelle and Ken had 4 kids - 2 of which are moved out, so they have a big house with a finished basement that has 2 empty rooms and a full bathroom. Ryan texted both Raquelle and Ken separately and they both said yes and that they would talk to each other.
Today Ryan said that he wants to move in with me and my kids (Skipper - oldest, Stacy - middle, and Chelsea - youngest) We have 2 weeks to find a place that will fit all of us. All of our house hunting prior to today and what is planned for the rest of this week will be pointless because they don't have enough rooms. He is saying he will take Chelsea (his biological kid) along with Skipper and Stacy if I don't let him come with. I said that my other two kids will not want to go with him (because they wont).
I do not make enough money to get a big enough place by myself. When he said he would move in to Raquelles' house he also said that he would help us with rent. He's now saying that I have no say in his decision to come with us.
What can I do? I don't feel like I can tell him no because of his financial help, but he is messy and I am described by the people around me as a clean freak. He is also always glued to his phone and only helps when he is asked and he wont even watch his own kid because of his screen addiction. We cant go anywhere with him because he brings the mood down everywhere he goes. He straight up ignores guests that drop by, at a parties he ignores everyone, and even out in public at an amusement park he sits on his phone and ignores everyone. He brings the vibe of the whole house down and makes me feel like I have a fourth kid, I really do not want him living with us but if I insinuate that we are moving separately he gets super defensive and asks to come with to look at houses.
We are not legally divorced yet but have decided to divorce. We are broke broke, no money for lawyers.