u/Unlikely_Common_Star

WIBTA if I tell my parents I don’t want to take care of my disabled dad?

I (17F) have been feeling uncomfortable for a while because my dad (70M) and mum (55F) expect me to take care of my dad when my mum isn’t home. 
For context, my dad is paraplegic, he’s a wheelchair user, he can’t move his legs or his torso, he has reduced mobility on his hands, and his immune and respiratory systems are weak. He has a nurse that comes 5 days a week to hygienize him, take him from the bed to his chair and stuff like that. He also needs to be put to bed in the afternoon so he won’t be injured from sitting all day. My mum usually is the one to do it. 
The problem is that sometimes they expect me to be the one to put and take him out of bed and do other things like empty his urinary bag. I don’t want to do any of this. I think it´s obvious why I don't want to empty the urinary bag. And I don’t like to put him or take him out of bed because 1. he’s heavy and I’m not strong so it’s a little hard 2. The elevator we have is really hard to use, it’s broken so it requires more strength, sometimes it takes me like 5 minutes to pull a lever, it’s harder for me because I’m left-handed 3. Sometimes he’s so tired he can’t give me instructions properly (which I need because I don’t have training on how to do this and I don’t want to hurt him) and it stresses me out 4. I have to pull his pants (not take them off) to move him and it makes me uncomfortable 5. I like to wear long natural nails and since this requires pulling they usually break after weeks of growing them out.
I am fine with doing these on extraordinary occasions, like if my mum is sick and can’t do it, if there are scheduling issues, if he’s sick or things like that. But I don’t want this to be expected of me at any minor inconvenience. 
For example, every monday I get home from therapy at 6pm and my mum is not there because she leaves for her therapy at that time. When I get home sometimes my dad is in his chair and asks me to put him to bed. I am usually tired at this point of the day and I just want to rest. There is no reason why my mum couldn’t do it herself, only that my dad didn’t ask her too. And he asks, of course, but I feel bad if I say no
I LOVE my dad, and I empathize with his disability. I want him to be able to do what he wants whenever he wants to. I just don’t think it should depend on me, I’m his daughter, unlike my mum, I never chose to be his caregiver. As I said, I’m willing to help sometimes but not often and I want to feel like I have a choice. I feel like it’s reasonable for me to ask this but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel like a burden or neglected if I say no. I feel awful for feeling this way.

WIBTA if I tell my parents I don’t want to take care of my disabled dad?

I (17F) have been feeling uncomfortable for a while because my dad (70M) and mum (55F) expect me to take care of my dad when my mum isn’t home. 
For context, my dad is paraplegic, he’s a wheelchair user, he can’t move his legs or his torso, he has reduced mobility on his hands, and his immune and respiratory systems are weak. He has a nurse that comes 5 days a week to hygienize him, take him from the bed to his chair and stuff like that. He also needs to be put to bed in the afternoon so he won’t be injured from sitting all day. My mum usually is the one to do it. 
The problem is that sometimes they expect me to be the one to put and take him out of bed and do other things like empty his urinary bag. I don’t want to do any of this. I think it´s obvious why I don't want to empty the urinary bag. And I don’t like to put him or take him out of bed because 1. he’s heavy and I’m not strong so it’s a little hard 2. The elevator we have is really hard to use, it’s broken so it requires more strength, sometimes it takes me like 5 minutes to pull a lever, it’s harder for me because I’m left-handed 3. Sometimes he’s so tired he can’t give me instructions properly (which I need because I don’t have training on how to do this and I don’t want to hurt him) and it stresses me out 4. I have to pull his pants (not take them off) to move him and it makes me uncomfortable 5. I like to wear long natural nails and since this requires pulling they usually break after weeks of growing them out.
I am fine with doing these on extraordinary occasions, like if my mum is sick and can’t do it, if there are scheduling issues, if he’s sick or things like that. But I don’t want this to be expected of me at any minor inconvenience. 
For example, every monday I get home from therapy at 6pm and my mum is not there because she leaves for her therapy at that time. When I get home sometimes my dad is in his chair and asks me to put him to bed. I am usually tired at this point of the day and I just want to rest. There is no reason why my mum couldn’t do it herself, only that my dad didn’t ask her too. And he asks, of course, but I feel bad if I say no
I LOVE my dad, and I empathize with his disability. I want him to be able to do what he wants whenever he wants to. I just don’t think it should depend on me, I’m his daughter, unlike my mum, I never chose to be his caregiver. As I said, I’m willing to help sometimes but not often and I want to feel like I have a choice. I feel like it’s reasonable for me to ask this but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel like a burden or neglected if I say no. I feel awful for feeling this way.

WIBTA if I tell my parents I don’t want to take care of my disabled dad?

I (17F) have been feeling uncomfortable for a while because my dad (70M) and mum (55F) expect me to take care of my dad when my mum isn’t home. 
For context, my dad is paraplegic, he’s a wheelchair user, he can’t move his legs or his torso, he has reduced mobility on his hands, and his immune and respiratory systems are weak. He has a nurse that comes 5 days a week to hygienize him, take him from the bed to his chair and stuff like that. He also needs to be put to bed in the afternoon so he won’t be injured from sitting all day. My mum usually is the one to do it. 
The problem is that sometimes they expect me to be the one to put and take him out of bed and do other things like empty his urinary bag. I don’t want to do any of this. I think it´s obvious why I don't want to empty the urinary bag. And I don’t like to put him or take him out of bed because 1. he’s heavy and I’m not strong so it’s a little hard 2. The elevator we have is really hard to use, it’s broken so it requires more strength, sometimes it takes me like 5 minutes to pull a lever, it’s harder for me because I’m left-handed 3. Sometimes he’s so tired he can’t give me instructions properly (which I need because I don’t have training on how to do this and I don’t want to hurt him) and it stresses me out 4. I have to pull his pants (not take them off) to move him and it makes me uncomfortable 5. I like to wear long natural nails and since this requires pulling they usually break after weeks of growing them out.
I am fine with doing these on extraordinary occasions, like if my mum is sick and can’t do it, if there are scheduling issues, if he’s sick or things like that. But I don’t want this to be expected of me at any minor inconvenience. 
For example, every monday I get home from therapy at 6pm and my mum is not there because she leaves for her therapy at that time. When I get home sometimes my dad is in his chair and asks me to put him to bed. I am usually tired at this point of the day and I just want to rest. There is no reason why my mum couldn’t do it herself, only that my dad didn’t ask her too. And he asks, of course, but I feel bad if I say no
I LOVE my dad, and I empathize with his disability. I want him to be able to do what he wants whenever he wants to. I just don’t think it should depend on me, I’m his daughter, unlike my mum, I never chose to be his caregiver. As I said, I’m willing to help sometimes but not often and I want to feel like I have a choice. I feel like it’s reasonable for me to ask this but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel like a burden or neglected if I say no. I feel awful for feeling this way.

edit: I have NEVER refused to do anything to help my dad, every time this has been asked of me I have helped and I've tried my best. I don't care deeply about the nails it's the last of my worries in this matter. I know my dad doesn't want this either, I know it's hard for him, I care deeply about his feelings and as I said, I empathize with him.