AITA for refusing to confirm a family story my mom has been telling for years?
My mom has a favorite story she usually tells whenever someone new joins the family or asks about my teen years.
According to her version of it, I got accepted into a summer art program, but I was scared to leave home and was not sure if I wanna go there. My mom gently helped me realize that I wasn't ready yet and I later admitted myself that spending summer helping family was more important than some classes.
It sounds really heartwarming, shows my mom as a caring one, but problem is that's not how it went.
I didn't go because mom said that even with a scholarship it was too expensive. She also said that it would be hard for her to take care of my young brother over the summer if I left. I was 14, felt guilty and just stayed home instead.
I’m 22 now. I don’t live with that resentment every day, I’m not angry on my mom and I love her, but it bothers me that she turned it into a story where she’s the wise one and I was the troubled child who needed to be saved from myself.
We had a family dinner this Sunday. My cousin’s new husband saw an old photo of me and asked if I been into art seriously. My mom immediately started telling her old story.
I stayed silent as always until she turned to me and said that I was the one who said later that I wasn’t ready and thanked her. I said no and finally after so many years told a true version of this warm story.
Things got awkward. Mom said I was rewriting the past and that she was just trying to help me make a grown up decision. I replied that she could remember it however she wanted, but she shouldn’t ask me to confirm a story where I look like a coward.
After dinner mom said I'd made her look stupid in front of the family because of some teenage grudge. My aunt said I could have just smiled and not ruined the evening.
I feel bad now over this. But on the other hand I'm tired of being a character in some pretty story my mom made up where control looks like care.
AITA?