AITA for refusing to stand next to my sister at her wedding?
My (26F) sister (33F) is getting married soon. She has planned a beautiful wedding with her fiancé (33M) and I’m very happy for her, but this has been a problem.
She wants me to stand/seat close to her during the wedding ceremony, as I’m one of her bridesmaids, but I can’t and she’s pretty upset about it. The issue is that the spot they picked for the ceremony is near a cliff. It’s not directly on the edge, there is a reasonable distance, but it’s very close.
I have a paralyzing fear of heights and I know that I won’t be able to do it. I don’t want to ruin her wedding by having a big panic attack, so I would rather avoid the situation altogether. I just want to seat a bit farther, amongst the guests.
She wants me to get over it during the next months, but I don’t think I can. When I was a teenager I survived a fall from a very high place (50ft) and was severely injured. I spent weeks in the ICU and ended up with permanent neurological damage. Being near places like cliffs, balconies, open windows from high floors… absolutely terrifies me. It’s the kind of situation where breathing becomes hard and I end up curled on the floor.
I know that it’s something that I should work on, but it’s not easy and I don’t have the money needed to work with a psychologist readily available. It has never been a big problem before this time, so I haven’t really thought about it over the past years.
It’s an irrational fear, so I don’t think she takes it seriously, but I genuinely can’t control it.
So, AITA for refusing to stand next to her at her wedding?