r/AmITheAngel

Image 1 — AIO? Friend asked me what my future plans with my gf are and then responded like this
Image 2 — AIO? Friend asked me what my future plans with my gf are and then responded like this
Image 3 — AIO? Friend asked me what my future plans with my gf are and then responded like this
Image 4 — AIO? Friend asked me what my future plans with my gf are and then responded like this
▲ 4.4k r/AmITheAngel+2 crossposts

AIO? Friend asked me what my future plans with my gf are and then responded like this

For context me and my friend were chatting and he was asking me about my relationship. He asked me what my future plan is with her and what my end game is. I got the feeling he was trying to gauge how serious I am about her. He said maybe I should get her a promise ring to show her I am serious and thats when I sent the first text you can see in the screenshot.

Afterwards this was his response. I have known him for two years and I am aware that the last person he was with cheated on him with another guy and a girl so he has always kind of had a bad outlook on relationships. Even so he has never been so rude to me. It was such a quick switch up when I mentioned an engagement ring as opposed to a promise ring. As soon as I said that the whole conversation dissolved into him basically throwing virtual punches. I think maybe he was mad that I didn’t take his “advice” about getting my gf a promise ring and wanted to make me feel bad.

To be honest this kind of sudden switch up really makes me feel like I am seeing his true colors for the first time. He has always been into 9/11 conspiracies and also into the conspiracies around that one flight that disappeared but I didn’t know how out of wack he actually is with these beliefs.

I seriously wonder what else he thinks about me especially after he said “newsflash: your gf is probably just with you because she's bored and hasn't found someone better yet”

AIO if I just cut him off right now?

Edit for context: I have actually known this guy for longer than we have been friends. Our dads work together, but him and I didn’t start hanging out until about 2 years ago. I tried calling him after I sent the last text because I thought maybe he was messing with me and I wanted to see wtf was going on, but he didn’t pick up.

Update: I am going to have to make a separate post possibly in a different sub because he responded to my text telling him we are going no contact for a bit and what he said honestly changes things up. He told me he likes me and I genuinely don’t know what to do and I feel betrayed? I don’t know why feel that way, but that is just the immediate reaction.

Was gonna make an update about his confession, but decided to delete that post and just block his number.

Also yes I still have to see him because our dads still work together so this is not gonna be the last of him. I will probably unblock him later to have an actual conversation and set boundaries, but for now I don’t want to talk to him cause he is sending multiple texts like he did earlier and I am already overwhelmed. Will update this if I actually talk to him later.

EDIT: Ended up unblocking him just cause I am going to have to see him again and wanted boundaries in place. He got argumentative.

Should I tell his dad in him like he is a little boy? He is acting like one now.

EDIT 2: he is no longer acting like a little boy he has revealed himself to possibly actually be a clinical narcissist to the point where I can’t believe I let my gf be around him or bought him around at all. Sorta scary amd deffo sending his dad screenshots of the messages regardless of his age.

EDIT 3: decided against telling his father because I don’t want to necessarily out him and he apologized for now I am leaving it at that and waiting for my gf to discover the ring sizer I ordered. this is so out of the blue that I genuinely thought he was manic or something. I took screenshots in real time as he was texting me because of how surprising it was to me. He has never talked to me that way so that is why I thought I might have to tell someone close to him. Seemed like he needed help.

Edit 4: I have successfully gotten my girlfriend’s ring size and am focused back on what matters.

Edit 5: I wake up and I am genuinely surprised by the people in my inbox saying that that if I love my gf I won’t marry her. Really thought maybe my fake friend was sending ppl to say that or making alternate accounts.

Edit 6: now bro is literally begging to come over to my place to apologize “face to face” literally muted him and turned of read receipts so he gets infinitely left on delivered. Gonna use the texts for evidence of he ends up showing up unannounced.

UPDATE: today my gf put our engagement on hold. AIO to immediately suspect my “freind” has something to do with it?

u/TGPT-4o — 2 days ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 26.4k r/AmITheAngel+2 crossposts

My brother’s daughter is also his niece

Ok here’s the story…When I was in college, my twin brother started dating my housemate (I set them up). After a few years, they they had a kid and then eventually got married. On the day of their wedding, my half brother, who nobody had seen for about five years, showed up out of the blue. The three of them quickly became besties and when we all moved to a new city, those three got a place together.

Fast-forward a couple of years and it turns out that my sister-in-law still wanted to be my sister-in-law but she just wanted to trade up which brother she was married to. So my twin brother got divorced, my half brother got married, and family gatherings got complicated.

Skip ahead another couple of years and my my half brother and his new wife (my twin brothers ex wife) had a couple of kids. So now I have three nieces who are simultaneously sisters and cousins and who have dads who are both uncles and fathers.

Vanilla ice cream with a slice of chocolate cake

u/XPav — 3 days ago
▲ 744 r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITJ cause my future wife expects her future husband (me) to pay 100% of the bills?

I’m engaged. My fiancee told me today, she expects me to pay 100% of the bills after marriage (and give her $500 monthly allowance too). She will keep her earnings totally for herself.

Her income is approximately the same as my income, so I said we should share the burden of paying bills & supporting the family. I said that’s how it was with my mom/dad and grandma/grandpa and great-grandma/grandpa (married 1930s). Both worked; both paid bills & shared household chores. A partnership.

She said my family is weird & that’s wrong. The man should be 100% the provider.

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u/AdventurousDoor9384 — 10 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 7.9k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids on my summer break?

AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids during Summer break. Me (53F), full time college professor. My daughter (26F), stay-at-home mom. Grandkids (8M, 5F, 1F). My daughter, let's call her Katie, has 3 kids and lives with her boyfriend. She is a stay-at-home mom with no other responsibilities. I work as a full-time professor and have the months of June and July off. I typically use this time for training and professional development. Katie has hinted many times through the spring semester that she can't be home with the kids all summer and even has gone as far as asking me to keep them for a few weeks at a time. She has quite the explosive temper and whenever I don't do as she asks she throws a fit: screaming, yelling, and name calling until I cave. The day before Mother's Day she wanted me to watch the 1yr old. I told her that I am injured (hurt my knee and it is difficult to walk) and her dad is super tired. She threw a fit and told me to grow up and that dad should "act like a man" and just get over himself. We eventually caved and took all the kids so they wouldn't be around her that day. Fast-forward to the next day when she blocked my phone number and her dad's and didn't even call to say Happy Mother's Day. That is all fine, but the next day she calls her dad all nicey-nice and asks if he can watch her kids just one day a week during the summer so she can have a break. He tried to cave but it was an ABSOLUTELY NOT! from me. Now everyone thinks I am the A-hole but honestly I would rather work all summer than have to deal with her. My husband says it's for the grandkids and not her but I can't help but think we are rewarding her bad behavior. So, AITAH?

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u/TalkTalkTalkListen — 1 day ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 7.2k r/AmITheAngel+2 crossposts

AITA for making my coworker miss his proposal because I wouldn’t cover his shift?

I (29F) work at a restaurant with this guy we can call him “Mark” (idk,M). A few weeks ago he told everyone he was planning to propose to his girlfriend during a concert they were going to, and he kept hyping it up nonstop.The problem is that he scheduled himself to work that same night and apparently forgot to request it off. A few days beforehand he started begging people to switch with him. Nobody wanted to because it was a Saturday night shift.He eventually asked me because I technically wasn’t scheduled that day. I had a pretty full week, (personal stuff) and i didn't really feel like it so i told him i can't cover it. He kept asking and was asking me what plans i have but i didn't (if your wondering why he didn't ask the others one of them was flying and the other one had something specific i don't remember. So Mark had to work. Apparently he tried to rush to the concert after his shift, but by the time he got there the moment he planned was ruined because the band had already played their big final song. He ended up proposing afterward in the parking lot and according to him it “wasn’t special anymore.” After he was a little psasive agressive to me and complained a little that i ruined it. But I feel like forgetting to request off for your own proposal is not my responsibility.

AITA?

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u/Logical_Door_5900 — 1 day ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 11.6k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

I broke up with my boyfriend because he ruined Mother's Day.

Yesterday was Mother's Day. It was my only day off after an incredibly stressful week at work, and all I wanted to do was relax and spend some time with my son.

My son got me a beautiful card and wrote a long, heartfelt note in it that made me cry happy tears. He handcrafted me a rose out of cotton pads. He even asked my boyfriend to take him out the day before so he could also buy me a present (it was a sparkly bath scrub that smelled really good!) So the day started out really special, because my son put a lot of effort into making it special for me.

We had plans to all go to the beach and grill burgers, but then my boyfriend started complaining that it was going to be too busy and we wouldn't be able to find a grill. So I said ok, thats fine, we'll just get In N Out on the way there instead. He has the tendency to make any kind of outing way more stressful than it needs to be, every step of the way has to be a critically important decision and if he's not happy he will complain the entire time. Like when we drive anywhere he complains about the other drivers. It's just like a constant stream of conscious coming out of his mouth and he never stops talking no matter how gently or harshly I ask for quiet. I saw the impending train wreck and was very clear before we went anywhere that all I wanted for Mother's Day was to relax--like FULLY relax, to not have to manage his emotions or spend the day appeasing him just to get through it.

Well. He did the opposite of what I asked. We started fighting in the car and didnt even make it to the beach. When we got home I said I wanted to take my son out somewhere just the two of us, and he started arguing that I was excluding him and how HE was hoping to go somewhere fun, and why do I always seem to want to go do things without him? (Gee I wonder) I yelled "because it's fucking Mother's Day and I just want to spend time with my son, this is not about you!"

Then he said "well I'm just gonna go to the beach by myself then" and i said fine, please go, I just want to not be near you right now. It was still early enough that if he had gone out i would have been able to take the car and go somewhere with my son when he got back. But just to spite me and prevent me from being able to use the car, he decided that instead of going to the beach he was going to spend the day working on the car, so he had the wheels blocked off so it couldnt roll anywhere... and then instead of even working on the car he spent all day moving his desk from the living room to the bedroom.

While moving things around, he stepped on the rose my son had made for me and squashed it.

I spent basically the entire day sobbing because I was so angry with my boyfriend for ruining everything my son had tried to do for me. The worst part is, he still doesnt even think he did anything wrong. He blames me for being emotional and getting upset. I told him I would never forgive him for ruining what was supposed to be a special day.

Unfortunately we are both on the lease so I can't just kick him out. I have been trying to find a new apartment for months but it's been difficult to find something I can afford. He claims he is also looking but still refuses to leave even though it would be exponentially easier for him to find a studio than for me to find another 2 bedroom. It seems like he's just making this whole process as difficult as possible just to spite me.

Pictured is a chorizo burrito. Comfort food.

Edit to add: because several people have accused me of not caring about the rose because I put it on the floor, I feel I should clarify. I put it on the floor right in front of the fan to dry because it was still wet. The fan is right by the couch in a spot that never sees foot traffic because it's next to a wall. I did not expect him to walk through that area because no one ever does.

u/AggravatingFlow1178 — 2 days ago
▲ 3.5k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

UPDATE AITAH for ” running away to give birth “

link to the original : https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/7fyQEXbh3P

Hey guys , first of all thank you all so much for the messages

some people asked for an update , and i’m here for it , the last 48h were the most insane i’ve ever had honestly ,

so to go back where we left off , my husband arrived yesterday afternoon ,can u guess who also came ???? yeahhhh his mom ! nothing i was already expecting , but it’s always surprising ig

when he car pulled up , my MIL was the first to come out , they both got in , my child was in my old bedroom (in my parents house ) with my sister and mother , and in the living room my brothers, dad , me and them

the first thing that came out of her mouth was “quit the bullshit , my baby is a girl right ?” i said that my baby is a male , my family confirmed , my MILs face completely changed , she started crying saying that this one was meant to be a girl , and if she knew i would give her another boy she wouldn’t have been so nice to me

(for context , my husband has 1 brother only , and he is already done having kids , he has 3 boys )

i told her to go fuck herself , this child is MINE not hers , and i surely didn’t had a baby so she could fulfill her wired desires .

she was about to raise her voice , but my brother stopped her and told her that it wouldn’t be accepted in this house and asked her to leave and wait for my husband in the car .

(yes after she found out the gender , she didn’t even asked to see him )

she left , giving my dirty looks , but left

my husband looked at me and asked me how could i rob this moment from him, as u can imagine i replied with the plan they had , he turned pale , and then i think it all clicked together in his little brain .

he started apologizing and saying that it was just to shush his mom and that he would never actually do it , but after being pressured, his speech changed to :”but im also going trough a lot in the delivery room , i need support “

my whole family started laughing in his face , he got angry , and demanded to know my sons name and see him , i told him the name , and allowed him to see im from a far , he asked to hold him and i declined .

after this , i talked alone with him, and told him that i wanted a divorce , he cried , pleaded , and asked for another chance , i told him my decision was final , and that he didn’t had to financially support my child , but that our marriage was over , i asked him to come around the next day so we can discuss this better.

then he came , his eyes were puffy im guessing from crying , and he and his mom came here , looked at my husband and said OUT LOUD, that he should give me the divorce and forget about this kid since it was a boy , he should find a woman that would give him a girl . finally i saw that dude get a little of a backbone , and he told her to get out , that she already ruined this enough . she yelled as expected and left .

he cried and told me finally understood the kind of harm his mom was making to our family and told me that if i needed him to go NC with her to save our marriage he would .

i told him that i needed time to think , and told him to give me some days , he is returning to NC , and im abt a week he will come down again so we can talk

now i know what he did was horrible , but being a single mom at 23 is not ideal , and weather i like it or not , i still feel smt for this man….

any opinions and recommendations are welcome !

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u/Background-War9535 — 12 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 6.4k r/AmITheAngel+2 crossposts

AITAH for telling my friend his weight is ruining my vacation?

I (21F) am currently on vacation with my friends, Apple (21F), Banana (22F), Clementine (21M), Durian (22M). Last year we decided to book our first proper friend group trip after having known each other for 3 years, we booked a month long trip through South East Asia.

My friend Durian has been struggling with his weight for the past couple of years. Two years ago he confided in us that he struggles with binge eating and low self esteem due to the way he looks. We've tried helping him in several ways but he never accepts any help and avoids the topic altogether. If you bring up the topic he just changes the subject or says he will try his best to seek help but doesn't end up taking any action. We have thus decided we won't talk about it anymore unless he brings it up himself, because Durian told us we are putting too much pressure on him which worsens his mental health.

One year ago when we booked our trip Durian announced that he would be going on a proper weightloss journey. We were kind of skeptical because he hadn't worked on his mental health so we didn't believe weightloss would be possible without fixing the cause first, but still we decided to support him the best we could. His goal was to go from 18 stone to 14 stone in one year. I myself am not the fittest so I told him we should start training together. For about a month he showed up to our training session but then just stopped coming. He always had an excuse of why he couldn't come. We tried asking him how he was doing with the weightloss but he would always answer saying it is a private matter and talking about it makes him uncomfortable. One month before we left for our holiday he told us he had gained almost 2 stone during the year.

As the trip came closer I started to get annoyed by his behavior. He continually complains about seating, people giving him looks (which I haven't noticed), walking, not wanting to go sightseeing, that he doesn't have clothes etc.
I don't mind him not participating in certain plans but the constant nagging is just ruining my mood. My last straw was the water park. The whole ride to the park he just kept saying how insecure he is about his body and that he can't handle going to a place where people will be looking at him. He then refused to enter the park and made a whole scene at the entrance. I just told him that he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to but to not ruin my vacation with his weight problems and that he should have thought about this before coming here. After I said this he went back to the AirBNB with Banana. Apple and Clementine are on my side saying he brought me to my breaking point and that he should apologize for his behavior. But Banana thinks I was to harsh and should have thought about his mental health. I haven't talked to him in two days and we still have three weeks left of our trip. Am I the Asshole?

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u/ExternalBug8 — 1 day ago
▲ 3.7k r/AmITheAngel+2 crossposts

AIO boyfriend ruins every holiday

I’m a single mom of 2 kids and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. We’ve had a very on and off relationship. Last Thanksgiving was ruined bc he missed his family and was rude and distant all day, Christmas (which is also my birthday) due to missing his family and me wanting him to be around me bc I love him, (he has plenty of money and just chooses not to see them year around and hasn’t in years but then agrees to spend a holiday with me and resents me for it later) and Valentine’s Day, and now Mother’s Day. He’s jealous that I had kids with someone else and he tries to hide it but I know it’s true. So today my kids and I went to the park and the beach. I went to go pick up a cake and told my boyfriend and I said “I’m getting myself a treat since no one else did:(“ and he said “sorry I’m broke” which is a joke, he makes good money. Asked him to come to the park and the beach and he said he doesn’t really wanna go anywhere with the kids and I he just wants to relax. I then brought up the “sorry I’m broke” comment and he said he was kidding and he planned to bring me cupcakes tonight, so night time comes (about 8pm, he said he’d come over at 830) and I ask if he’s going to the store and he says “idk why?” lol and then downhill from there. This man does not care about me is it safe to say that? I don’t think we should be together anymore. AIO? I got absolutely nothing from him today only a “happy Mother’s Day”. I also had a bad headache all day and he knew that.

u/Far-Season-695 — 2 days ago
▲ 5.0k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITA for secretly buying a house behind my mom's back after she stole the one I spent years paying for?

For context, my husband and I had a rent-to-own agreement with my mom's husband while they were married. The understanding was that once the house was fully paid off, it would become ours because we were paying the mortgage, taxes, and upkeep.

After their divorce, my mom had nowhere to go, so I let her move in with us while we continued paying for everything tied to the house. Mortgage payments, utilities, repairs, furniture, groceries, basically all household expenses. My mom only covered her phone bill and credit cards.

But when the house was finally paid off, everything changed.

She cried and said she had “nothing to call her own” and that my husband and I were young enough to buy another house someday, so she deserved to keep it. I didn’t want to destroy our relationship, so instead of fighting her, I started looking for another home.

The problem was that every time I mentioned buying a house, she’d immediately discourage me. She’d tell me the economy was terrible, interest rates were too high, and I couldn’t afford it. She was living her best life traveling while I paid all her bills.

My husband and I secretly started the process of buying another home, got approved, closed on a house, and got the keys without her knowing. I finally told her after closing when we already had a move date.

Ironically, when I brought it up casually, she interrupted me with the same speech about how irresponsible buying a house would be. I let her finish and then told her, “Actually, I already bought it. We move this weekend.”

She lost it, accused me of betraying her, and refused to speak to me. We still deep cleaned her old house room by room while moving out because she was out of state visiting family. One evening after cleaning all day, we left and minutes later she sent me a message saying she had “just arrived home” and was disgusted that we left “her house” in shambles. She also refused to let us retrieve some of our belongings from the garage, claiming anything left behind was now hers.

Then she started telling family and friends a completely different story. According to her, she had generously let me “rent” her home cheaply and I repaid her by abandoning her financially and stripping the house of furniture. The furniture she complained about was literally ours.

Months later, she finally visited my new house and criticized everything from the fixtures to the curtains. Then after insulting the place, she looked around and said, “I (her) deserve this house.”

It’s been a couple years and things are calmer now, but she’s currently in major financial trouble and keeps hinting that she should move onto my property in a trailer because she’s getting older. My husband and sons already help maintain her property because she physically struggles to keep up with it. But she wanted the house, right? Be careful what you ask for.

She keeps hinting at selling her house and bringing a trailer to my property but I keep telling her no.

So AITA for any of it?

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u/Murky-Employee-8264 — 1 day ago
▲ 1.0k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITA for shopping in the international food section??

I want to preface this by saying I genuinely never thought this could be considered rude until today, and now I’m second guessing myself.

I’m from a very small town, and we only have one grocery store. Because of that, whenever I drive into the city, I tend to stock up on foods and snacks I can’t normally get at home. I do this with everything, especially with items that fit within my dietary restrictions. If I really like something, I buy enough to last me awhile because I don’t know when I’ll be back in the city again.

A while ago I was wandering through the two “international” aisles at Superstore and found these shiitake mushroom crisps. The packaging is mostly in an Asian language I can’t read, but there’s tiny English text that says “shiitake mushroom crisps.” I bought one bag out of curiosity and ended up LOVING them.

So today when I went back to the city, I grabbed eight bags because I figured it would save me from having to hunt them down again for awhile. And before you ask, yes there was plenty more on the shelf after I took what I wanted. While I was putting them in my cart, a man nearby scoffed and said, “Leave some for us.”

The way he said it made me feel like he thought I shouldn’t be buying food from that section because I’m not Asian. Like the international foods were meant specifically for people from those cultures, and I was taking something away from them.

Before this, I’ve always viewed those aisles as a way to try foods from other cultures and expand what I eat. I actually get excited seeing sections from countries I’ve never seen represented before. This store specifically added a small Filipino section, and I thought it was really cool because Im getting to try food and snacks that might be popular somewhere else in the world that we just have never heard of here. I always thought those sections were there to share food and culture with everyone, not to be off-limits unless you’re from that background.

Now I’m wondering if I accidentally committed some kind of grocery store etiquette violation that I didn’t know existed??

For context: I’m white.

AITA?

Edit: to everyone saying this was a “dad joke” or it was light hearted, he seriously sounded annoyed. I definitely did not get the vibe that he was trying to get a giggle out of me.

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u/ExcitementPrudent590 — 9 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 8.2k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITA For Telling A Little Girl That Her Parents Should Be Disappointed In Her?

Earlier today I was doing some grocery shopping, and I was just finishing up to head up to the check-out to pay for my items. A little girl, probably 11 or 12 and a friend that looked about the same age, came up to me and asked if I would be willing to make a purchase for them. It immediately raised red flags, so I asked what type of purchase. She tried to beat around the bush for a couple of seconds saying that "it's not actually for me it's for my friend but I promised her I would get it for her".

I told her that I would not be making any purchase for her that she cannot make for herself. Because I had a feeling that it was for alcohol. She got a little irritated with me and asked why. I told her that if she could go ask her mom, and her mom would say no, it was NOT my place to say yes. I made a comment about how she needed to be a bit more mindful with coming up to people that she doesn't know in this manner. And that it can be dangerous.

She got incredibly angry, and started cussing me out. She called me a fat cow and a "dried up old bitch". I am 24. So whatever. But I went to walk away, and as I turned around I heard her say "she's probably a dyke too." I about lost it. I turned back around, stood right in front of her, leaned down so I was on her level, and said "Little girl you need to go home to your parents right now and tell them that they should be disappointed in your behavior. That is NOT how you speak to people." She started laughing and her and her friend walked away.

I feel like I'm TA in my response to her. I feel like I should have just ignored her and walked away. But in my mind, if I don't at least attempt to shut that behavior when I see it, I am not doing my due diligence to society. Some people's children are never told no. And they feel comfortable saying anything they want.

I don't know why a 12 year old has me shaken up, but is this really what kids are like right now? I don't have any yet. But that scares me. What is making them like this?

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u/Artistic-Attempt-881 — 2 days ago
▲ 3.0k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AIO for thinking my friend is faking their death?

I hadn't heard from my friend in about a month, so I sent over a text just checking in. I got a response in the middle of the night from their "family member" saying that they had passed the day after I last spoke with them.

I, of course, was torn to bits. I cried and kept reading the message over and over just in denial of it all. However, as I kept reading I realized that the family member texted exactly the same way they did. I also got the text around the same time they usually text me as they work overnights. Then I realized that I had texted them from their work phone that no one should have access to due to the security of their job, like if they did pass, the phone should've been turned in by now.

I looked for obituaries, nothing at all, looked for death certificates, nothing again. I sent over my condolences and asked if there was a service for them, they told me they did and where my friend was "buried". Once again, normal time for them to text due to their schedule, not for normal people with a regular 9-5. I called another friend to vent because I was just in a bad frame of mind, I had recently lost a family member earlier this year so things were just piling up. He called the cemetery for me and they said they had no one under their name that was buried there.

I'm crushed. We didn't have any issues the last time we spoke and if they didn't want to be friends anymore I would've much appreciated that instead of thinking this. I feel like I overreacted and perhaps I'm just a deep state of denial, but deep down I just feel like they're not dead. AIO?

Edit:

I wanted to clear up some common questions. Yes, they were an online friend, but we met once and called a few times so I know at least they're real lol.

We've known each other for about a year now, we used to talk everyday, but due to stress and personal issues they dwindled every so often.

No, I don't know any of their family members personally, but I know of a specific few, only a couple by name.

I will see about calling their work, but I don't believe its a job that I can call up and ask for them. I will if I can.

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u/Disastrous-Froyo-530 — 20 hours ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 13.0k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITAH for hiring professional cleaners to prove my mom was a spite cleaner?

This is from a few years ago, but it's come up in arguments lately so I figured I'd get some outside opinions. My mom is what you might call a spite cleaner. She uses cleaning as a tool to control and nag and wine and whatnot. My siblings and I bore the brunt of it. Often she delegated cleanings to a saturday or sunday which we called "hell day"), she would usually go out to buy food for the week/errands and leave us to it, and it seemed no matter how much cleaning we did she was never happy with the result and the day would end with all of us arguing and upset. Sometimes we would barely do any cleaning since the end result was the same - her complaining.

Venting to each other outside the house one day, my siblings and I decided to prove she was just complaining for the sake of complaining. We set up a gofundme to raise funds to pay a local house cleaning company, posing it as something along the lines of 'help us get a professional house cleaning to surprise our mom!' And we were able to raise a few hundred dollars mostly from family and friends (who knew our situation), which covered the cost (and a nice big tip for the cleaners from what was left). So for one cleaning weekend when our mom had shopping plus getting the car looked at, we scheduled a local cleaners to arrive, they were 2 very nice women who proceeded to clean the house till it was sparkling (we chatted a bit with them while they were working, one of the ladies had almost 20 years experience cleaning homes, the other 8). With their consent, we filmed some clips of them cleaning, saying it was to surprise our mom.

So mom gets home with our uncle who was coming to dinner, and she's barely in the door, she's already started complaining about our "usual" subpar cleaning, that either I, my brother didn't clean the surfaces well enough or that my sister didn't sweep one spot. These were repetitive complaints she often said.

Long story short, we show her the footage, her face gets red and she proceeds to scream at us form embarrassing her in front of her brother, how dare we hire cleaners and have strangers in the house, blah blah. We argue back that this proves she just weaponizes cleaning.

It's been a few years since then, after the big blow up she just did most cleaning herself does she never admitted to weaponizing it. It came up again recently as us "tricking" her and I don't think we did anything wrong. AITAH?

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u/TalkTalkTalkListen — 4 days ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 8.7k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITAH for pushing back on husband who tried to pass off a gift for himself as a Mother's Day gift for me?

My husband loves big TVs. I don't really care. We have a 50 inch that is older but works well enough for me. We're sitting on the couch and my kids wants to blast something from his phone to the TV, and it's not working. So I say, "meh we probably need a new TV", and my husband says, "we could get one this weekend, that could be your Mother's Day gift!"

So I push back. "Don't disguise a gift for yourself as a Mother's Day gift, dude. That's fucked up".

And he just starts fighting back, saying g he already got me something, this was in addition, and that I'm acting like an asshole.

It escalated to him saying I'm a "hysterical woman", and I put words in his mouth, and that he won't let me walk all over him.

He's a great man. But lordie he can never be wrong. A simple, "yeah, you're right. We could get a TV, but it's not a Mother's Day gift" would have been the right move here, but he needed to win the argument and have the last word.

My kid went upstairs rather than listen to this BS. I went up, too. I don't need this crap.

So... who is the asshole here?

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u/Shayntastic — 4 days ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 5.5k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITA for wanting to sleep with my boyfriend?

For quick context: I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (23M) for three years now. A few weeks ago, we moved in together. We both work, pay our own bills, and neither of us rely on family members for financial support. The other day, my mom and stepfather came to visit us since they were in the area and wanted to check out our new house. Since it was a good few hours away from where they live and they arrived in the evening, my boyfriend and I were more than willing to let them spend the night in an empty guest room.

As everyone was settling in for the evening, my mom was confused as to why my boyfriend wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch. I was also confused and said that we sleep together in the master bedroom. My mom is very old-fashioned and doesn’t approve of any type of intimacy before marriage. She was also against the idea of me and my boyfriend moving in together but she held her tongue during the duration of the visit so far.

We got into an argument and it boiled down to my mom demanding that my boyfriend either sleep on the couch or on the floor in our bedroom. I said that was ridiculous and it wasn’t like we were going to be doing anything inappropriate within the vicinity of my parents. She still said that she was my mother and I should do what was asked of me. At that point, my stepfather stepped in and asked that we just listen to her and that I was making things difficult for everyone.

In the end, nothing got resolved and my parents left. I assume they got a hotel room for the night and left to go back to their house the next morning. I got an angry text from my mom where she called me a “sinful little girl” and that she raised me to be better than that. She told an aunt of mine what happened and I later got a call from her where she said that my mom can be pushy and annoying, but I need to be the bigger person and apologize. My boyfriend is on my side and his parents and siblings are too. I’m posting here so I can get some outside opinions on things. AITA?

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u/BiDiTi — 3 days ago
▲ 1.5k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

I live with my wife and two young daughters in a city where the public transit operates on an honor system. Controllers patrol the various lines and, if they catch you without a ticket, the fine is substantial, around €135. Annual passes are very reasonable though, so most people, myself included, pay for it regardless of how often they use it. My wife never has done that, since she can walk every day to work. She doesn‘t even buy single tickets most of the time she does ride, and simply keeps her app open and ready to pay in case controllers enter the car. I find this silly and tease her about it, especially since an annual pass is well within both of our budgets.

Today they caught her, while we were out with our daughters. My wife asked me to keep the girls occupied while she argued with the guy for five minutes about how hard it is to ride the streetcar with two kids, one of them a toddler, and how she was meaning to buy it the first chance she got, etc. He was unmoved, as I knew he would be. Those people, once they decide to fine you, won‘t be dissuaded by any argument. So I just let it all play out while holding the little ones nearby. Afterwards my wife was pissed at me because I “should have had her back.“ I said I disagreed, that while I personally thought it was a petty move for them to fine a mom with two young kids, I knew arguing over it would be pointless.

And though I didn’t say as much, I don’t think it’s a husband’s role to shield his wife from the consequences of her choices. Yes, riding with little kids takes all your bandwidth, but she made a choice over and over to save €30 a month even though it could have brought peace of mind just to pay it. (To say nothing about the dishonesty of only buying a ticket when you think you could get caught.)

All that said, should a husband really have his wife’s back when she tries to get out of a fine she rightfully has to pay? AITA?

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u/Quirky-Tangelo2806 — 12 hours ago
▲ 1.7k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

“Safety Is an Illusion,” Says Man Angry about being asked to wear a Condom

So anyway, I’m standing on my front porch at midnight, throwing a grown man’s overnight bag into the yard while screaming, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!!!  :::Record scratch.:::

Yeah, I know. How did we get here?  So ok.. we’d been dating about a month and honestly things had been great. Andy was thoughtful, funny, emotionally intelligent, employed, communicative, (not MAGA), so like AAALL the things.  We could talk for hours. We even had overlapping interests, and unlike a lot of men I’ve dated, he actually seemed willing to engage in some of mine too.  So a quick side note: it’s funny how many men expect women to learn football, gaming, golf, fishing, bourbon, crypto, or whatever their hobby is, but suddenly develop amnesia when it comes to reciprocating that kind energy. Anyway, so yeah there were ZERO red flags. Not a single one and believe me at my age I’m on the lookout for them.  Until suddenly there was one so large it could’ve been seen from outer fucking space..

Things had  progressed naturally and he was going to come spend the night for the first time. And yeah, we were going to have sex for the first time.  The timing was perfect because mMy daughter was away camping for the weekend. For context, I am EXTREMELY careful about who I allow around my kid. In fact, not a single man I’ve dated since she was born has even met her and she's now 12. Not one. I don’t want strange men traipsing in and out of her life and I’m gonna be honest: I’m always half suspicious that anyone dating a single woman with a child is a pedo, so there’s that.  Sorry, not sorry, but I’ve seen too many headlines, seen too many court cases, ya know?   So yes, I take that shit seriously.

We’d both gotten tested beforehand because we’d discussed being responsible adults. Great. Wonderful. Gold stars all around!!  What I did NOT realize was that apparently, in his feeble mind, “getting tested” translated to: “Congratulations! I now have unrestricted access to her body and reproductive system and I can put my sperm into her, willy nilly..” 

So there we are, things getting hot and heavy under da covers, and I open the nightstand like the prepared and proud Girl Scout I am and say, “Take your pick” and I'll put it on.. I was so thoughtful, I bought different sizes, varieties, etc. When I tell you this man stares at the condoms like I just slapped his mother… Then he gives me this disgusted look and goes: “Wait, what the fuck did I get checked for then!? Don’t you trust me? I don’t have sex with condoms.”

And just like that, the entire vibe died a rather ugly death. Because here’s the thing women learn over and over: The real test of a man’s character is not how he acts when things are going his way. It’s how he reacts to boundaries. I immediately jumped out of bed, threw on a robe, and moved the conversation to the living room because naked and vulnerable is not where I’m going to negotiate my safety with an angry man.

He kept repeating: “So what was the point of getting tested then?” And I explained, calmly:
“The point was mutual health and responsibility. It was NEVER a blanket agreement for unprotected sex.” Then came the classic greatest hits album: “You don’t trust me.” “You’re overreacting.” “You’re controlling.” “You’re hysterical.”   “How can you have sex with someone you don’t trust?” etc etc..  Some of them he directly sometimes in so many words.  

I noted in real time how fast “kind, respectful man” turned into “woman is crazy for having boundaries.” I told him: “It’s not just about you. It’s about every person you may have slept with before me. And honestly? This reaction tells me more than any medical test result ever could.”

And THAT'S when he hit me with this absolute TED Talk from Hell: “Don’t you get it? Safety is an illusion!”

Sir.

SIR.

Ain’t nobody got time for this bullshit.  And at that point I was DONE. D.O.N.E. and honestly, I don’t even know why I let the conversation even go THAT far.  I should have kicked him out from the jump. Because underneath all the pseudo philosophical nonsense, what he was really saying was: “My desire to avoid mild inconvenience matters more than your comfort, your health, your bodily autonomy, and your clearly stated boundaries.” And then trying to make ME feel irrational for it. That’s the part that snapped everything into focus for me… it wasn’t that the condom issue itself, it was the manipulation.   The way he immediately pivoted to making me defend my right to say no and  reframed basic self protection as a personal insult to his penis. The way he tried to gaslight me to get what he wanted. And when none of that worked suddenly I was “crazy.”  Funny how often “crazy” just means: “woman who won’t cave to your complete & utter bullshit.” Yeah, you picked wrong woman for that bullshit, sweetheart.

So yes, I kicked him out on the spot. I said, “Holy fuck. Has that kind of manipulation actually worked for you in the past?  How fucking gross!  Please just go.”  He said, wait, are you serious!?”    “Serious as a fucking heart attack. GET. OUT!”  And when he refused to leave and kept saying he couldn’t believe that I was “ending a good relationship over something small,” (yup, another manipulation, folks!)  I grabbed his stuff, opened the front door, and launched his overnight bag into the yard from the front porch and screamed like a banshee about calling the cops. And I was LOUD enough for the whole neighborhood to hear and at that point I didn't care.   (Oh and  inwardly VERY gleeful that his shit splayed all over the yard because the bag was unzipped!) 

He finally left, still muttering about how I was crazy and overreacting. Blah blah blah, whatever. I locked the door,immediately blocked him from everything,  turned up  Doja Cat (Boss Bitch), Athrea Franklin (Respect), Florence + the Machine (shake it out), Beyonce (flawless), etc…and danced around the kitchen with the music on full volume  while I made a late night dinner, which was: the the breakfast I had planned to make us in the morning: high protein pancakes with lemon zest from scratch, topped  with fresh whipped cream, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries.. And just to add to the decadence, a chocolate croissant.  It was fucking delicious! I scarfed that shit down, showered his stank off me, changed the sheets, then slept like a baby.

Anyways, listen up. If a man gets angry and manipulative when you prioritize your health, THAT is the red flag. When they don’t respect your boundaries about anything, whatever they  are, THAT is the issue, THAT is the crazy.  The boundary itself is not the issue, YOU are not the issue, it’s all about his reaction to it.   Stand by yourself.  Always.  

Thank you for coming to my mini Ted Talk. Oh and hey, Andy?  Go fuck yourself, you absolute twat. 

u/MaudeDib — 1 day ago
▲ 3.8k r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITAH for getting my white daughter a doll with dark skin?

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Realistic-Night-2056

Originally posted to r/AITAH

AITAH for getting my white daughter a doll with dark skin?

Thanks to u/soayherder & u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU

Trigger Warnings: >!racism!<

----

Original Post: January 24, 2026

I know this is a weird title but it's literally my situation

I'm a white woman from a white family, my daughter is white, red hair, blue eyes, the works

She's 7 years old and recently, her best friend moved away and my daughter was heart broken over it

Her friend is this cute little girl, she has dark skin and curly hair

Both of the girls met when they were four and were inseparable ever since

Unfortunately the girl's family needed to move to another state and my daughter was absolutely wrecked over it

While shopping for a present for her for Christmas, I found a doll that looked exactly like her best friend and I got it for her, me and my sister also made a wardrobe for the doll with the colours the best friend liked

My girl was so happy when she got it and she hasn't let go of it since

The issue came last Sunday, when my brother brought his new girlfriend home for mom's birthday party

The gf is tall, dark skinned and has a beautiful afro and an even prettier smile, a gorgeous woman truly

This was the first time meeting her and my daughter when she saw her told her she looked like her doll, the gf even laughed when she saw the doll

I didn't think there was any problem with it until the gf came to me in the kitchen and told me that it's disrespectful for my daughter to have a doll of different colour

She said that it's racist and wrong and- I kid you not- a nod to slavery

I explained the situation with her best friend, that it was a Christmas gift and had nothing to do with racism

she still insisted that I'm in the wrong for giving my daughter a dark skinned doll

I haven't told anyone about this yet, and I don't have her number to try and talk and get her side

I don't want to take the doll from my daughter, she's finally happy again, she even showed it to her best friend when we face timed her with her mother and both girls were so happy, the girl's mother texted me that she wants to do the same thing for her daughter's birthday next month

Any outside perspective would be appreciated

AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA

Top Comments

Commenter 1: NTA. Good lord, it's a toy. Can adults stop being so butthurt about children's toys??? I really hope for your family's sake than your brother doesn't end up with this lady. She seems to be the kind who gets offended about everything.

Commenter 2: Every time the question has been studied, the research has shown that exposing kids to diverse toys (different ethnicities, genders, cultural dress, etc.) makes them less likely to preference white faces over others as they get older. In other words, diverse toys make kids less racist. If white kids can only have white dolls, they learn that they shouldn’t play with people who aren’t white, too. Your brother’s girlfriend is simply empirically wrong about this. And I think it’s adorable that your daughter has a toy to remind her of her faraway friend!

Commenter 3: So dark skinned children are not allowed to have white dolls? Or is it only the other way around? NTA

Commenter 4: You are absolutely NTA. The doll is a reminder of your daughter’s friend. It’s for her to pretend that her friend is still with her. I don’t know WTH is the gf’s problem but it’s not your problem and ignore her

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Update: January 31, 2026 (one week later)

[update] AITAH for getting my white daughter a doll with dark skin?

A week ago I posted about a situation I encountered with my daughter and me post got called fake and taken down?

I'm not really familiar with Reddit so when I asked a friend who's familiar with this website she said it might be because my post got a lot of comments when my account was just made a few hours before the post, something like that

Anyhow, the situation was my daughter had a dark skinned friend who moved away so I gifted her a doll that looked like her friend and my brother gf who's dark skinned got offended and called me a racist

I wanted to answer a few questions regarding the whole thing:

1- the doll was a normal doll, it wasn't anything offensive, just a generic doll with a yellow dress

2- no my daughter doesn't use her as a house keeper for her other dolls, she loves that doll as much as she loves her eyes

3- the doll was wearing a dress that I made for her, it was a sundress with a lace detail, again, nothing offensive

Now for the update:

I called my brother two days after the post, intending to tell him about the situation

He said that he knew and that he and his gf had been going back and forth about the situation since the day it happened

According to him, he explained the whole thing with my daughter and her best friend again to her, told her my daughter was inconsolable after losing her best friend and this doll was the only source of joy for her

Even showed her videos I sent to the family group chat of my daughter taking care of the doll like it's a human being

She wasn't convinced, still insist it was wrong, she claimed she saw my daughter drag the doll by it's hair, which granted, it might've happened because my daughter is a child, tho I truly doubt she'd do something like that to this specific doll

My brother told her even if my daughter did it doesn't mean anything because it's a toy that my daughter plays with, it's not like she's pulling on a real child's hair

She wasn't convinced and asked for them to take a break from seeing each other, said that if he can't respect her boundaries, then she needs to rethink this relationship, she hasn't contacted him since

I kinda feel bad about potentially breaking my brother's relationship up, even tho a lot of people told me that he should break up with her, but I also don't want someone who refuses to explain her own points as to why something is wrong or right and just shuts down to be around me or my kid

I told my husband's stepmom, who is a lovely Nigerian woman, about the situation and she started laughing

On a better note my daughter's bff mom just texted my yesterday a photo of a doll that looks exactly like my daughter, and how she's planning on giving it to her daughter on her birthday, I can't wait to see both girls and their matching dolls

That's all, thank you all for the people who left comments on my OG post and made me realise I'm not actually a racist.

Top Comments

Commenter 1: Ex girlfriend is delusional and looking for a reason to be angry.

Commenter 2: NTA! It IS racist for her to suggest that your daughter can only play with light-skinned dolls.

Commenter 3: Wow. So according to this c u next Tuesday, children are only allowed to play with dolls that have the same skin color as themselves. Now that is some racist bs.

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DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

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u/Choice_Evidence1983 — 2 days ago