r/GuyCry

I am unattractive. Maybe not down right ugly but enough where ive been told a few times and for it to severely effect my dating and social life. I do not get invited to things, I am always the 2nd option, and I am just generally behind on life.

I do have one last good try in me though. I am currently 24 and on the "l**ksmaxxing" path. I know there is a lot of negative connotation when it comes to that but there is a genuine postive if you go into with the right mindset. I simply want to look better. I want what I see myself as in my head to match reality. I know its a bit "late" for me to start this, but I guess its better now then never.

I have pretty much analyzed my entire face from bottom to top. I know my flaws and can draw them from memory. As unhealthy as that sounds, I am using it to my advantage.

I am already in the process of Jaw surgery and have my initial appointment on Wednesday. Then I am looking into hair transplants, brow reduction and then canthoplasty/plexy.

Is it fucked up that I have to do all this to be treated as normal? 100% yes. But I am also doing it for myself.

To be honest I dont see myself making it past 26 if things continue the way they are. Not in a depressive way. Just in that I dont see a point in participating in life. I reap no benefits and watch those around and close to me get to enjoy the things I w

Have to keep this short because I'm on a 15 minute break.

Last year I married my best friend. We met when we were 18, became close friends for 7 years. Got together 4 years ago when I was on drugs. Got sober to be the best man I can be for her. Married last year. Couldn't be happier.

She is disabled and cannot work for the foreseeable future. I pay rent, utilities, buy groceries, everything, on 16.50 an hour. (Fairly high for where I am in the US - a lot of my friends make 12, 13, 14 an hour!) I work retail. My hours got cut for the slow season. I can get maybe 35 on a good week. Pre-tax I make about 21k a year, and that's not counting the 3-4 months a year I have to fight to get over 30 hours. Not to mention the strain that dealing with bitchy middle aged clothing retail "customers" (it's all returns) puts on me mentally.

She is sick. She needs medication and diabetic supplies. Every month we make it work - SOMEHOW - but only can really plan on consistently eating one meal a day.

I'm tired. Last night I woke up and was absolutely convinced the end had come and we were in the midst of nuclear war because the neighbors had left their lights on and it was yellow outside. I can feel myself slipping. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I want to take care of her the best I can but I don't know what to do. I applied for some factory jobs but I have zero experience with that sort of thing.

I just want things to be better for her. I'm doing everything I can. I don't want to come home crying anymore. I got sexually assaulted in the work bathroom a couple weeks ago (by a customer). Can't get anyone at my job to give enough of a shit to pull security footage. Haven't had the mental space to process it either because all I do is work.

Something's gotta give. I'm hungry. I don't know how we're getting groceries this week because I have $20 and we need cat litter. I can't do this.

Hello everyone.

I want to rant for a second, hopefully I can keep it short.

At least from my point of view this is pointless, but I don't want to mindlessly talk to an AI or go through the long process of journaling.

Journaling is helpful, it's just I would appreciate some replies from other people on this matter.

I'm a senior in high school.

For whatever reason my dumbass thought "alcohol is cheaper than going to therapy".

The reason why I even started doing this is just because I feel unlovable.

For the sake of this, I'll just let y'all know I'm 19.

I decided to try dating at around 17.

Nothing serious or anything like that, just looking for new friends to hang out with.

However, I would be lying if I said I wasn't imagining scenarios where I somehow end up in a relationship.

Over this period of about 2 years-ish I've started conversations with maybe over 200 girls.

I got maybe around 50 to reply back or maybe just have simple small talk that would last like 10 minutes and then everything goes silent.

Out of those 50, I've had talking stages with just 4, out of 4, I've only managed to meet up with just 2, from those 2, I saw 1 just once and then never again, and the other one actually lasted for some while, but I cut her off because she was low-key leading me on.

Long story short, I'm just drinking because I just don't know how to process the feeling of being rejected all the time.

At first I thought "oh well, if they just reject me instantly that's good, I get to save time and move on".

But it feels like I just wasted so much time on speed running through rejections too.

I'm not even trying to be romantic or formal, I'm just trying to go to the movies or hang out in the park and stuff like that.

I don't know why, but to some extent I started enjoying this sentiment of being "forever lonely" or any corny shit like that.

I don't know why I even chose to drink in the first place either.

At first, blacking out felt satisfying, now it just makes me feel horrible.

I don't even know why I'm overreacting like this for just getting rejected.

I feel like if I get rid of these pessimistic feelings maybe I can get rid of this stupid ass habit.

Any advice would help a lot, thank you!

I posted a few weeks ago. She texted me out of the blue, asking me to give her her stuff back.

I found out she had gotten in a fight with her roommates, gotten scared, and decided to leave the city (they were threatening to have her evicted).

We talked about things, decided to stay together until she leaves the city. I find out now, she overreacted to the situation with her roommates, and could probably stay in the city if she wanted.

I know I shouldn't keep seeing her because this doesnt lead anywhere healthy. No stable relationship starts with a break up out of nowhere only a few months in, followed by flip-flopping.

If I try to break things off, she basically begs me to stay. If I want to stay, she flips to wanting to go. It's fucking with my head.

I don't see a future with her anymore but I can't move on either

From the ages of 20 to 24 I was in a state of deep depression. I was technically enrolled in college, but I didn't ever go to class or leave the house at all really. Just played videogames all day while abusing the ADHD medication that had been incorrectly prescribed to me.

A few months before I turned 25 I decided to turn my life around and was mostly successful.I am now 26, I have lost 50lb, I have bought a car and am almost finished getting my driver's licence, I started my first job as a cashier two weeks. Things are looking good. But there is one issue and it's dating.

I have never had a girlfriend, even though I have wanted one since I was too young to even understand the concept of dating. I am autistic, have very poor social skills. I don't really know where I would meet someone, much less what I need to know if I meet someone I like. This by itself is already a big problem, but there is something else that makes this way worse.

I have had phimosis since I was a kid. It's a medical condition that makes it painful and uncomfortable to retract the foreskin on your penis. My case is severe enough that it makes penetrative sex completely impossible. I was diagnosed at 16 and I knew I needed surgery but was too scared to get it. When I decided to turn my life around, I decided to schedule the surgery because I wanted to date without worrying about it. I was on a waitlist for 7 months and I got it in May of last year. I thought I was going in for a full circumcision, but apparently the doctors decided that wasn't needed and did a partial one instead, which I only found out about once I woke up. They assured me that the issue was fixed and that there was nothing wrong with my penis after the surgery and after the follow up examinations with two different doctors. That was not the case. The problem didn't go away, I still have the same issues I had prior to surgery, penetration is still impossible and now I have erectile dysfunction from the anxiety around this. I need to get surgery again, which would require me waiting God knows how long to did in a public hospital or dump all my savings into getting it done at a private hospital to do it right now, which could also mean losing my job as I would need to be home for 2 weeks and it's a job I just started.

I don't know if I should even try dating in this state. Many people have told me that if someone actually likes me they won't reject me because of this but I simply don't believe that's entirely true. I don't know much about dating but I can't imagine a woman would want to be with a man who can't penetrate her. I understand that women often can't orgasm from just penetration and I am not only willing but eager to do things like fingering and oral, but would any woman even want that from a man who is emasculated like this? There is also the fact that, from what I understand, sex happens spontaneously, often before a relationship is official and I don't know how I am supposed to handle that scenario given this issue. Who do I tell a woman in that scenario that I can't penetrate her without her thinking I don't like her? Aside from that, if I start dating a girl, I don't know how I would bring this up.

Please, give me some opinions and advice. If you're a man, what would you do in my situation? If you're a woman, what do you think of this issue?

I usually think of myself as a pretty thick-skinned guy, but for some reason it hit me deep yesterday when I had an angry customer at work and she called me a "fucking loser-ass piece of shit". It really hurt cause I know she's right. All I do is go to work and go home. I don't have any friends, haven't dated in years, and I'm broke with no future prospects. I feel so worthless and I wish I could just lay in bed and never wake up. I see my classmates from high school on Facebook and they're all successful, look great, getting married, having kids, and hanging out with friends. I'm such a loser compared to them.

I'm medicated for severe bipolar disorder and usually I can keep it under control pretty well. But right now I feel horrible. I hope I don't live for much longer cause I feel like I can't stand another minute. I just want to feel loved and like I matter. I swear that I can be funny and friendly and a lot of fun to be around but nobody gives me a chance. I feel like giving up. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

I fell in love, I got married to the greatest person I’ve ever met. I stand on all ten to preach that.

We had our worst moment together in aug ‘22. I left the state and we to family. My family told me to never go back. We never divorced. We talked about getting back together in the fall of 2024. I was worried about losing my family so I declined. In fall, of 2025 I realized my family isn’t what was important, she was. After months of trying to be together it was all failing. Today I went to file for divorce and I found out she already filed and it was finalized in September of ‘25. She never told me. I’m just hurt rn and don’t know what to think.

I just posted on my close friends story about my "giveaway" of all my items that I really dont need anymore. I only got 2 likes on the story but no one dm'd me to ask why I'm doing this or what for. I feel like no one cares and to be honest, I dont care anymore either. Im gonna go around my school campus asking if anyone wants to have any of my items for free. Maybe someone might think im important enough to actually take my things and care for it as much as I have.

Its the 39th year without my big brother.

In 1987 he and his best friend, decided that ending it was the alternative to whatever they were up against (dont really know, just cryptic notes left behind), I was 14, he was 17.

It fucked me up beyond belief. We only had about 18 months of him being fully back from a nightmare rehab that my parents put him in (18 months in rehab, a second mortgage on the house, family shame, you name it), and I loved having him back. He was the best goddamn big brother. He went full on awesome big brother after he got back from rehab, picking me up from school, going to movies, just hanging out....it was awesome and it made me feel the best I had ever felt. Then he left. No explanation, no warnings. He just fuckikg left me again, forever. Thats what I've been dealing wirh for 39 goddamn years. 39 yrs of questions, 39 yrs of anger, of loneliness, of longing for one more hug, one more talk, one more beat down. I miss him, and it hurts more every year.

I'm 20, in uni, and I feel completely trapped socially.

I have 2 close friends who are great people but extremely career-focused — no fun, no hanging out, and they actually mock other students (including girls) who do. Because I'm always with them, everyone assumes I'm the same. But I'm not. I genuinely want to make memories, have fun, meet people.

There's a girl who matches my energy perfectly and has invited me to hang out multiple times. But I always brushed it off saying "I don't hang out much" — which is a lie I told myself to avoid the anxiety of showing up alone. Now she's stopped asking, and she hangs out with another group of guys who honestly aren't great people — disrespectful to girls, validation-seeking, fake. I can't join them without compromising who I am.

Recently she said yes when I asked about hanging out after an exam, but I didn't go because I was scared those boys would show up too.

The day I found out they all went out together without me, I couldn't eat anything. I just felt completely left behind.

I know the problem is me saying no to things I actually want. But every direction feels blocked — my friends, those boys, being alone, a potential conflict I'd have to face by myself.

Has anyone been in something like this? How did you break out of it?

I graduated from undergrad nine years ago with a major in political science and minors in English and journalism. My plan throughout most of college was to go to law school and eventually go into public defense or another public interest field. But just as I was about to take the LSAT, one of my parents got severely ill and I had to stay close to home (there are no law schools in my city).

Since then, I've spent my time caring for my parents and using my English minor to work in corporate writing, particularly technical writing for a software firm. It pays around 65K and I enjoy the work since I like writing in general, but every now and then I feel pretty nihilistic because I feel like I'm not "doing enough" to help people or fulfilling my true passion of civic justice.

Earlier last winter, I had a major argument and fallout with my parents. It made me seriously regret abandoning my initial dream of going to law school and question why I gave it up to stay with a family that's only ever let me down. And I immediately began studying for the LSAT again with plans to leave my hometown and start anew again.

But I'm feeling myself get seriously cold feet now. If I try to become a PD, chances are I'm going to making even less money than I do now, and that's 3 years of my life down the drain just to get the job in the first place. And the debt. My absolute worst nightmare is not being able to get hired out of school and being unemployed with $100K in debt. And it makes me wonder: am I just looking for an escape route away from my family and romanticizing everything big time right now? Am I just so in my own head focusing on everything I sacrificed that I'm making the wrong choice? Is going to law school nothing more than a symbolic "fuck you" to my parents?

Lately I've just been thinking, if I want to "help the public", am I better off using my writing experience to do, for instance, grant writing for a non-profit? Or maybe freelance journalism? Is law school really the best route?

I know this is probably an unusual thread, but if there's anyone at all who has a similar experience, I would really appreciate your advice. If I'm going to apply next cycle, I probably need to get moving soon with letters of recommendation and transcripts and whatnot, and of course more LSAT studying. But I just want to make sure I'm making the right choice here.

I’m 30, almost 31 and never been in an actual relationship other than a few first dates that went nowhere. I live in a city of about 250k and I never thought dating would be this comically terrible, but it is.

I grew up here and after college, I ultimately found a job here because I literally couldn’t get hired anywhere else.

I feel like I’m stuck here with no way out. I don’t have the funds to just pack up my shit and move. I visited a huge city, about 3 hours away, for a bachelor party not long ago and honestly, I was getting so many likes and matches on dating apps I didn’t even know where to begin. It felt unreal. For once I felt desired, even though it was ultimately just a fantasy. Many women wanted to meet up that same night.

I don’t know what to do anymore. My city is dogshit for dating. On the apps I rarely, if ever get a match and if I do, they never respond. Yet when I visited that “big city”, somehow I’m desirable.For some reason, nothing sticks here. I only get egged on or ghosted. What the fuck man? I’m kind of drunk rn, so that’s not helping.

I’ve tried putting myself out there more but there seems to be very little to do for the younger crowd. Then again, I’m almost 31, so I guess I’m closer to middle age at this point.

I have a great job, have security and stability (I own rental property) but I am so indescribably lonely. To make matters worse I have still yet to lose my V-card. Sure, I guess I could look for a job in a big city, but I spent years trying to do that and I was never able to get one fucking offer, only a few shitty interviews that went nowhere. Plus, my parents are getting older and my mom is already showing signs of serious aging. Not to mention, it is NOT a good time to be looking for a new job…

I hate it here. I’m on the verge of tears tbh, idk where this came from. Probably from listening to Abandon’s “The Dead End” album but it’s hitting the spot tonight…

I am 21 and I graduate college in 10 days. I had a girlfriend of 3 years until December when we broke up she was the first person I was intimate with and only person so far. She was the 1st person I truly and honestly felt a love and care for. She broke up with me and basically became everything I was afraid she would do. She has slept with multiple other men, became a heavy drinker and smoker, she has also completely tore down my name and said some very hurtful and damaging things post breakup. I see her everyday due to class schedules and It was genuinely one of the hardest things Ive had to do is to learn to forgive and not become bitter or attacking to her. I am proud of myself for so and I have completely gone upon the break up correct. I dont drink, smoke and I have remained single and really worked up building a connection with God.

I am tired just mentally and faced a lot of mental health battles since this. The pressure of graduating and the added political influence of the breakup which she created really was unhealthy for me. I am just lonely now. I really isolated myself and focus on myself which is positive but I am a very social person and it does sadden me. I would appreciate any kind words or any advice/ “hey man I been there”!

I call my kids (12 and 10) each night before they go to bed when they are at their mom’s.

Tonight my kids were fighting over the phone to talk to me. ❤️ They were both excited to tell me about their day and what they want to do when they are with me next weekend.

Damn onions.

​

I feel so ashamed that I'm 30 but I feel like some trapped teenager who just never grew up. I have low self esteem and weak mindset. I let doubts bring me down and started believing all the things people have said negative about me and it's like I've lost self respect for myself. I guess in certain culture people just seem to carry value or pride or their identity matters more in society that you have to be a certain way otherwise your just a letdown..

So many times people have told me your very slow, dull, not outgoing, not driven in life. And I didn't cover the basis life requires like a decent job, a college degree or valuable skills,and not driving. Like especially in u.s driving is a must because majority of cities and towns don't have good transportation.

Hey. I don't really have anyone to talk to and nobody really cares. Forgive me if this is the wrong place or tag. I've been holding on to these tears for months. I think I deserve to let it out today.

I was a cute kid. Everyone loved me. Most of all, people had very high hopes for me.

I let everyone down in innumerable ways and I will continue to let people down, for it's in my mere nature.

I've always felt like I was a weird weird person, not because I'm different in a negative way, but different in a way that others can't comprehend. Hell! Even I don't know what I'm doing or what I want. I'm on autopilot. My brain wants to do something and I just HAVE to follow it.

I'm socially different. Again, not in a negative way, but in a way that is incompatible with normal human behavior. I'm the most charismatic, funny, motivational, loving, enthusiastic person and yet, I can't keep a friendship for long.

I did talk to my shrinks tho. They said ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and they were super confused if I'm on the spectrum so never got any official diagnosis, so I'd say I don't have that. I guess. Idk.

Yeah it feels so lonely man. I could be in a room full of the best people in the world and yet feel so out of place.

Nothing makes me happy anymore. Nothing excited me anymore. I don't trust people, friends, relationships, officials, parents, etc. Probably cuz I was bullied and heartbroken way too many times.

Yeah I ditched everyone cuz nobody gives a damn and I don't want anyone to pity-friend me. I'll be okay.

There's a famous saying from the peaky blinders which applies very truly to me when its paraphrased and I think I'll keep it close to my heart until I'm in the grave. Hell! I'll even get it written on my tombstone by whoever stays until then.

"I already died that day. Everything else from now, is extra "

I'll keep going until it's naturally my time.

Peace.

PS: go hug that one dude you think feels lonely.

I don't really open up about this a lot. But my mom used to abuse us. My siblings. Me. My step dad (who certainly enabled). And my real father (whom she gaslighted me my whole life into believing did not exist but that's another story).

At some point after my parents got custody of us after going to prison (a la child abuse charges). I got fed up with protecting her ego. I couldn't just pretend we lived in the foster system because the world is unfair.

That's how I became my family's black sheep. I was vocal. Especially because the abuse never stopped. Even after they got out of prison. But my siblings were, to no fault of their own, conditioned to accept abuse as a form of "tough love."

And I was more or less the real culprit who just couldn't grow up. If I was a "good little Christian" I would forgive. My ass. Repent first, make amends, then you get forgiveness.

So yeah I moved out ASAP. Was homeless the majority of my life.

Things were really different for my siblings. And they see it as, I am crazy. Like my life trajectory exists in a vacuum. And not that my moving out didn't have a direct impact on how differently our parents behaved and became more conscientious about their responsibility to not abuse.

Fast forward to today. It's been 4 days since I asked my family in our group chat for help paying my cell phone bill. And not one of them has replied in the group chat.

I'm the black sheep. I'm the trouble maker. So fuck me. Well I'm done this time. The only reason I started inviting them back in my life is because my ex GF had a picture perfect family. And I want my family to not be so divided because of the trauma of our past. But it's beyond repair. They can't even respond to say, sorry we can't help you. They just literally don't respond at all.

So here I am. Begging strangers. Which I've had to do the majority of my adult life. Because I have had no support system. And government assistance doesn't exist.

I'm going to have to hold a sign on a corner soon. I'm sure others in this subreddit are in the same boat.

1.5 years ago I went through a pretty traumatic breakup. Long-story short, she ended up cheating with an ex. All this during the grief surrounding her father dying which I supported her through. It really took me for a spin and took awhile to climb out of the hole I was in.

I've done all the right things. I jumped into therapy, I'm the fittest I've ever been (running a marathon next week for the first time), I've taken on a lot of projects and hobbies and generally do feel happy.

But my dating life feels like a mess. I've had a lot of dates, but no one I really connected with or felt attracted to. Recently, I was dating someone who was great on paper. She was my age, funny, cute and had a lot of hobbies. We've had 5 dates however during the last few I've noticed it felt like she was holding back. We spoke about it and she just said she likes to take things slow. I thought that was that and dropped it.

Last night I got the dreaded "I don't think there's a romantic spark for me and I see this more as friends." It's understandable. I didn't feel the intense passion, but I felt that was just dating securely and not needing the intense rollercoaster highs and lows. I'm usually able to shrug off short-term dating but this one really has done a number on me where I feel just depressed and out of sorts.

I don't think it's just this failed early-dating experience. I'm 36 turning 37 in a few months. I'm the last of the friend groups to be single as all of them have transitioned to marriages and families with babies dominating most of my circles now. I just feel like something has gone wrong in my life where I can't figure it out and just losing hope.

I feel lost and would appreciate any advice or words.

(context: I’m 17 and A trans man, I do not pass as male so I do appear to some as female)

I’ve had symptoms of what i suspect Tourette’s since I was about ten years old or possibly younger. I suffered from rage, insomnia, hard blinking, and as I got older they became more promintent, from an occasional neck jerk or whine to “My body feels like it will self destroy if I don’t move or say something RIGHT NOW”

and it’s hell

so naturally I go to see a neurologist after a particularly bad tic attack that brought me to the emergency room, there I was told by a neurologist who after seeing ptsd in my profile (who I was already distrustful of due to previous bad medical experience) my symptoms were functional neurological disorder, (I lack nearly all other symptoms of FND) and to attend therapy. He didn’t deny that my symptoms could be organic and to come back within 8 weeks.

still I question my own gut feeling, especially considering the symptoms I’ve shown since childhood and the fact that tourettes can present differently in those assigned female at birth.

I‘m tired of feeling like I’m some anomaly who gets therapy and antidepressants all while still suffering without answers.

Sup boyos,

New here, been following for a while. I was with my company for about three years, and recently moved into a new department about four months ago. They let me go today and honestly I don’t know what to do.

I just got my apartment and signed a lease, and then this happened.

Long story short, I was working on the floor and dropped a part. I had already gotten two warnings. I panicked because I didn’t want another one, so I said the part came like that. My lead wanted to talk more about it, and my team (it’s a small group) knows I lied on the document.

I know I messed up. I was just scared and got stuck in my head thinking I was going to keep messing up, and it turned into a spiral. Now I’m out of a job.

I’m sure some people are going to say I’m an idiot or that I deserved it, and I get it. I just don’t really have anyone to talk to. My girlfriend has been really supportive and keeps telling me I’ll find something else, but I’m struggling mentally right now.

I’m 30, no real family support, and I just feel lost.