Stuck between friends who limit me and a social life I'm too scared to reach for — and it's affecting me physically
I'm 20, in uni, and I feel completely trapped socially.
I have 2 close friends who are great people but extremely career-focused — no fun, no hanging out, and they actually mock other students (including girls) who do. Because I'm always with them, everyone assumes I'm the same. But I'm not. I genuinely want to make memories, have fun, meet people.
There's a girl who matches my energy perfectly and has invited me to hang out multiple times. But I always brushed it off saying "I don't hang out much" — which is a lie I told myself to avoid the anxiety of showing up alone. Now she's stopped asking, and she hangs out with another group of guys who honestly aren't great people — disrespectful to girls, validation-seeking, fake. I can't join them without compromising who I am.
Recently she said yes when I asked about hanging out after an exam, but I didn't go because I was scared those boys would show up too.
The day I found out they all went out together without me, I couldn't eat anything. I just felt completely left behind.
I know the problem is me saying no to things I actually want. But every direction feels blocked — my friends, those boys, being alone, a potential conflict I'd have to face by myself.
Has anyone been in something like this? How did you break out of it?