Supporting myself and my disabled wife on less than 21k a year is pushing me towards a nervous breakdown (TW: sexual assault)
Have to keep this short because I'm on a 15 minute break.
Last year I married my best friend. We met when we were 18, became close friends for 7 years. Got together 4 years ago when I was on drugs. Got sober to be the best man I can be for her. Married last year. Couldn't be happier.
She is disabled and cannot work for the foreseeable future. I pay rent, utilities, buy groceries, everything, on 16.50 an hour. (Fairly high for where I am in the US - a lot of my friends make 12, 13, 14 an hour!) I work retail. My hours got cut for the slow season. I can get maybe 35 on a good week. Pre-tax I make about 21k a year, and that's not counting the 3-4 months a year I have to fight to get over 30 hours. Not to mention the strain that dealing with bitchy middle aged clothing retail "customers" (it's all returns) puts on me mentally.
She is sick. She needs medication and diabetic supplies. Every month we make it work - SOMEHOW - but only can really plan on consistently eating one meal a day.
I'm tired. Last night I woke up and was absolutely convinced the end had come and we were in the midst of nuclear war because the neighbors had left their lights on and it was yellow outside. I can feel myself slipping. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I want to take care of her the best I can but I don't know what to do. I applied for some factory jobs but I have zero experience with that sort of thing.
I just want things to be better for her. I'm doing everything I can. I don't want to come home crying anymore. I got sexually assaulted in the work bathroom a couple weeks ago (by a customer). Can't get anyone at my job to give enough of a shit to pull security footage. Haven't had the mental space to process it either because all I do is work.
Something's gotta give. I'm hungry. I don't know how we're getting groceries this week because I have $20 and we need cat litter. I can't do this.