u/iSolaced

🔥 Hot ▲ 71 r/GuyCry

36M, failed dating stage again

1.5 years ago I went through a pretty traumatic breakup. Long-story short, she ended up cheating with an ex. All this during the grief surrounding her father dying which I supported her through. It really took me for a spin and took awhile to climb out of the hole I was in.

I've done all the right things. I jumped into therapy, I'm the fittest I've ever been (running a marathon next week for the first time), I've taken on a lot of projects and hobbies and generally do feel happy.

But my dating life feels like a mess. I've had a lot of dates, but no one I really connected with or felt attracted to. Recently, I was dating someone who was great on paper. She was my age, funny, cute and had a lot of hobbies. We've had 5 dates however during the last few I've noticed it felt like she was holding back. We spoke about it and she just said she likes to take things slow. I thought that was that and dropped it.

Last night I got the dreaded "I don't think there's a romantic spark for me and I see this more as friends." It's understandable. I didn't feel the intense passion, but I felt that was just dating securely and not needing the intense rollercoaster highs and lows. I'm usually able to shrug off short-term dating but this one really has done a number on me where I feel just depressed and out of sorts.

I don't think it's just this failed early-dating experience. I'm 36 turning 37 in a few months. I'm the last of the friend groups to be single as all of them have transitioned to marriages and families with babies dominating most of my circles now. I just feel like something has gone wrong in my life where I can't figure it out and just losing hope.

I feel lost and would appreciate any advice or words.

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u/iSolaced — 3 days ago