r/AmItheButtface

I’m in college and I bring my laptop to class every day because I use it for notes, assignments, and basically everything else.

A guy in one of my classes sits near me and a few times this semester he’s asked if he could borrow it for a minute because his tablet dies a lot.

At first I didn’t mind.

It was always small stuff like checking the course site or uploading a file, so I just handed it over.

Last week though, he asked again before class started and I said sure.

When he gave it back, I noticed right away that my wallpaper had been changed to some weird meme picture of a bald cat in sunglasses.

I laughed at first because I thought maybe he was joking and would switch it back.

Then I opened my browser and saw he had also changed my homepage, moved a bunch of icons around, and turned on some loud keyboard sound setting I didn’t even know existed.

It wasn’t some huge disaster, but it annoyed me way more than it probably should of.

I asked why he did all that and he just grinned and said he was "making it better" and that I needed to lighten up.

I told him not to touch my settings again.

Today he asked to borrow it one more time and I said no.

He got all offended and said I was being dramatic over a joke.

Now a couple people in class are saying I’m kind of a buttface because he didn’t actually break anything and I could’ve just let him use it.

But to me, it’s my laptop, not some toy for him to mess with when he’s bored.

AITBF?

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So people I know told me to post here and even they are split whether I am in the wrong in this situation. My friend group decided to have a potluck. We chose one of our friend's houses as a venue and the friend also volunteered to host. Since our friend had a relatively large house, and there were only a few of us actually close friends going to this, we agreed to invite our significant others or another person.

This potluck was one of our only chances to get together again after a long time. I wanted to bring some wine and prepare a special recipe I have for seafood paella. I told everybody and they were excited, as expected, they know even as a teen that I had a thing for cooking.

However, one of my friend's partner texted "ohh, Im actually allergic to seafood." I replied "oh I am sorry, that's too bad, I was excited for everyone to try it, I'm sure you will get to it other foods at the potluck."

She said after a few hours after the conversation was already drowned out by others "Are you gonna make something else" I said "Nah sorry, just some wine though"

Oh my goodness, I still dread remembering this exact moment. My friend of that partner texted me that I was highly offensive, discriminative, and insensitive to her for not considering her allergy or even create something else. I said "WTF?!" in my mind, but of course I just said sorry and I hope this will not refrain them from attending. They said no. The day of the potluck comes and I still of course bring the seafood paella and they confront me again. They said I was unbelievable and should have not even bothered bringing something. They said I was the only one who brought something that someone could not eat or drink.

So Reddit, was ITBF?

So I (16 M) started attending a new school last year and I hate it. It is supposed to be prestigious and I got a scholarship but the school is full of spoiled brats and bullys. Ever since last year I haven’t been doing well mentally. I am also goth so keep that in mind. So today I had a horrible time at school. I saw a post where my closest friends went out without me ( even though I have been begging to go out together), My team lost on the first round of the yearly football tournament and I didn’t get much sleep last night. After school my brother ( 30 M) and mother ( 55 F) pick me up. I get into the car and they start talking to me about my haircut and it slowly derives into my style. They start berating me to dress better and cut my long curly dark purple hair short and brown. I was already on the verge of tears and I just started yelling. It wasn’t senseless yelling they were starting to make fun of my style a bit and my own family doing this alongside the jerks at school really set me off. Forgot to mention that they made fun off me for fixing/making my own clothes “like a hobo” and boycotting. I have never been this angry before and when we got home I just started crying on my rooms floor. Here’s some of the mean stuff they said in the car: “When you look back you will see how dumb you look”, “You are going to thank us”, “This is exactly why you get bullied”, “We just want to see you without that rats nest on your head” etc. After I was done crying my mother came into my room and told me to lie down and have a talk with her and I refused (because they wouldn’t listen to me no matter what). I just grabbed the last of my cash and went out for a walk . I walked around for hours. When I cam home my brother had sent me a text message. I told him that I was pissed because they refuse to apologize and they refused to listen to me and correct their ways. In the and he wouldn’t listen to me. So AITBF people ?

I never thought I’d be posting here, but I need outside advice.

My BF (Kevin 37M) and I (27F) have been dating a little over 5 months. Things have been going great until recently when we talked about moving in together. He currently lives with his mom and said he wants to move in with me because I own and he doesn't.

For some context, I own a 4bd/2.5bth that I bought at 20 and my Mama and brother (Jared) live with me. We all split bills, so it's not overwhelming to maintain. Its directly across from a hospital and two streets over from a Walmart, prime location.

When Kevin brought up moving in with me I said I’d consider it, but then he said I would first need to kick my Mama and Jared out or sell my house to my Mama so we could move somewhere else together with the funds. I said absolutely not and told him how my mama cannot afford the house on her own, especially with medical bills, and Jared, though helping where he can, but doesn't need to, is on the spectrum and is easily overstimulated and is already 24/7. Kevin knows all of this.

He called me "dickish" for not making it work for him and said I should be 100% on his side since we’re in a relationship. He also said that my brother is home too often and that living with my mom is "childish"... even though he is living with his mom as I type this!

I asked what the real reason was and he admitted he wants them gone only so we can have sex!

Excuse me!? He knows I have no interest in sex. I’ve been very clear from the start that I don’t want a sexual relationship unless it’s specifically to have a child someday. He agreed to that prior to dating and said he was fine with a platonic relationship.

Now he’s started pushing for sex both direct and indirectly, saying he’ll, "change my mind.” It feels like he's just pressuring me more and more and it’s making me want to back out. I do care about and love him, but not in a sexual way and I’ve been honest about that.

Just to recap, he wants me to kick my family out or sell my home just so we can "potentially" have sex...which was never promised from the getgo.

I’m starting to feel like this is breakup worthy, but part of me wonders if I’m overreacting. He’s starting to make me feel like I’m the one wrong. I haven't told my Mama or Jared, or Kevin's mother about what going on.

What should I do? AITBF?

My roommate and I have been living together for about seven months. Overall its fine, we are not friends but we are civil.

She has this habit of leaving sticky notes instead of just talking to me. At first it was normal stuff, "please don't leave dishes in the sink" or "can you turn off the hallway light." Fine, I can work with that, some people just prefer written communication.

But then the notes started getting a tone. "The dishes AGAIN." With the caps and everything. Then "would be great if someone remembered we share a fridge." Then one that just said "really?" next to my jacket that i had left on the couch for maybe two hours.

I never said anything because honestly confrontation makes me want to leave my own body. But the notes kept coming and I started to feel like I was being quietly scolded every day in my own home.

So three weeks ago i started writing back. Same energy, same format. She left "the bathroom counter is a shared space just saying." I left one that said "the passive aggression is also a shared experience just saying." She left "some of us have early mornings." I left "some of us also live here."

She has not said a word to me about any of it out loud. But the original notes have basically stopped. Now there are occasionally normal ones again, like "I used the last of the dish soap, getting more tomorrow." Which is fine. Great even.

My friend thinks i was being childish and should have just talked to her like an adult. And maybe that's true. But seven months of one sided sticky note lectures and I cracked.

So am I the buttface for fighting sticky note with sticky note instead of using my words?

Ok so some context first. me and Priya (my younger sister, 3 yrs younger) have always had this thing where she makes these little comments about my taste and choices. never anything big enough to actually call out but it adds up. like death by a thousand cuts kind of thing. idk if she even knows she does it. Anyway, we went shopping last Saturday for stuff for her new apartment and it was genuinely fine at first. Then we got to the homewares section and it started. I picked up some kitchen towels and she goes “oh that’s very you” in THAT tone. Put them back. picked up a diffuser and she said “I didn't know you were still into that.” Let it go. The store had some promotion on, $10 off every $100 spent, and I was trying to figure out if my basket added up to hit it. thinking out loud basically. And Priya goes “you’re always so focused on the discount.” idk why that one hit different but it did. I told her not everyone has a boyfriend paying half their rent and maybe she could keep that to herself. She got quiet and then teared up and said I embarrassed her, tbh people around us probably did hear. I went home, kept picking up my phone to text her and putting it down. Ended up just mindlessly scrolling at some point, somehow landed on alibaba looking at the exact diffuser i’d put back lmao. I didn't buy it. She hasn’t texted since saturday. aitb?

I’m a 26M. Few days back, I attended a friend’s destination wedding. Around 25 of us were there mostly childhood friends and people I’ve known for years. Met a lot of them after a really long time, so vibe was good.

I also met one of my old female friends after ages. After the sangeet night, almost everyone got drunk. Somehow I ended up with a room to myself. I told her casually, since we’re good friends, if she wanted she could crash in my room.

Late night she came. After just 5 minutes of lying there, she asked, “hum kuch nahi karne wale hai?”

One thing led to another, and we ended up hooking up. We were both completely in our senses, it was mutual, and honestly it felt normal in that moment.

But somehow, people got to know about it. Since then, after the wedding, a lot of people have been talking, gossiping, and making it into a big deal. Some of my own close friends even joked about it and kinda spread it further.

Now it’s been weeks, and I keep thinking, did I mess up? Was it wrong to do something like this at a wedding? Feels like people are judging me and my image is affected.

Am I overthinking this… or is this actually something that people will remember and judge me for long term?

My boyfriend of almost 4 years was taking a bath with our son of almost 2 years. He asked me to get our kid out and dried off. I did so and he did something cute in the process. I went back to the bathroom to tell him what our son did, but my boyfriend was totally underwater rinsing his hair. I saw an opportunity and leaned in close to surprise him. When he came out of the water and wiped his eyes he screamed "F*ck you psycho c*unt" in my face. I just sat there for a minute unsure how to react to the situation and decided to just walk away after picking my jaw up off the floor. I've scared him before by accident, but he's never reacted like this. After his bath he apologized for how he reacted, but then followed up with something along the lines of "but I'll never close ​​​​my eyes around you again" and then about 10 minutes later brought in two ~$60 items I purchased for him as a gift about 4 and 6 months ago and said "if we break up are you going to say I stole these?" which I'm entirely unsure where that even came from because the only thing I've ever accused him of was lying. I just sat there looking at my phone after glancing up because I'm still so fing shocked at whatever tf just happened. So reddit, am I the buttface?​​​​

My husband is Latino. I am Cajun. We live in a major southern US city. My husband made new friends from his country, and they keep kissing me on the cheek. NOT putting their cheeks against mine and going "mwah." They like fully, whole-lips, kiss my cheek, sound and all. I am not from a family that hugs or cuddles. I do not like being touched. Even my husband's family knows this, and we only hug, and it's great. When I visit my husband's country, I accept the standard greeting, I even do the kisses, when in Rome, blah blah.

Today, some friends from his same country came to our house. They got up to kiss me, and I turned my body sideways and said, "Ah, just a side hug haha, I don't do the kiss thing." One of them froze and put his hands up. "You don't kiss?? What do you do when you visit [their country]??" I just shrugged and smiled. (I WANTED to say, "Well, as you can see, we're not there," but I held my tongue.) He went 😬😬😬 with that inhale hiss sound, like a "yikes" sound. "That'sssss tricky... Wait, aren't you French??" I chuckled and said, "No."

After that, I tried to change the subject and ask about their day, where they went, if they had fun, and the two friends straight up ignored me. Like, they started talking to my husband and ignored my questions, and talked over me. "Anyway, man, let's get into this game. Hand me the controller. You're gonna love this." My husband tried to laugh and explain what Cajun means, but they talked over him and didn't reply.

AITB for refusing this greeting? How can I better refuse it in the future? I KNEW this moment was coming all day, so I tried looking up how to refuse cheek kisses in the US, and found absolutely nothing.

I’ve lost every single fiber I had left of giving a shit, not only with my actual situation, but the absolute tomfoolery going on in the comment section of my initial post has brought me to cosmic donkey balls levels of apathy.

Was I dating an idiot? Yeah, probably, i’ll get into that later after I’m through with complaining as it’s my god given right, thanks.

I’m trying to fathom what having 1.4 million views on my exceptionally asinine relationship conundrum even means for my sanity in the long run, I brought it on myself though, I suppose. I can smell the subway surfers videos with an AI voice, and perhaps that short dude with the iPad on that one youtube channel who did the Pokémon theme in like 2009, the latter might be cooler.

That was a convoluted way of me saying I didn’t expect this much attention, I digress.

I’m much less irritated with the mobs of people calling him an idiot currently—although a lot of you fuckers are some of the most patronizing and insufferable people i’ve ever had the displeasure of communicating with, or just simply reading the words of.

I sort of felt like a monkey clanging a pan on its head like a Looney Toons character going through some of these comments, seriously. I think the consensus was I wasn’t the BF, even if I was, *some* of you also need that label in hopes of a personality change. I can only hope you exclusively act that way online.

Thanks to the people who responded like a normal human being despite whatever decision you came to AITBF wise. You all give me hope in humanity.

Last thing before I give you all the update you want—*I want* anyone who commented about “kids these days and abbreviations” to shove a handful of Phillips head screws up their ass. The level of exasperation I felt reading those comments couldn’t have been healthy. Sure, my exes over usage of them could have been reasonably made fun of, but someone using “smth” and “rlly” in text casually is not the big deal you oldheads think it is, and does not immediately mean someone is ignorant or fucking illiterate or something. I’m not writing a fucking dissertation while texting my boyfriend. Socrates isn’t rolling in his grave if I dare to type “smth” instead of “something”.

Anyone who wasn’t being a patronizing dick licker is invited to my party. I’ll bring Ibuprofen, let’s get fucked up. Woo.

Thanks for listening.

Anyway, onto the update.

No, he is not allergic to Ibuprofen. I sort of realized that it might’ve been pretty dumb to go all the way to the doctor for this. Seeing him explain to a 50 year old doctor how he genuinely felt like he took a Hydrocodone after I gave him two Ibuprofen was unfortunately a bit of a eureka moment. How he knows what Hydrocodone is but not Tylenol, Aspirin, or Ibuprofen is beyond me.

Nonetheless I was still worried I could have accidentally given him a allergic reaction so I explained the whole situation to the doctor, how he had no idea what Ibuprofen was so it could have been his first time taking it, or he could be allergic..etc.

The doctor said he doubted he was allergic, and said pretty much what I initially thought, and what some of the comments said. It could have been a placebo effect, or just a strange reaction due to anxiety or just not being used to OTC painkillers. He said he was willing to test him though.

I’m not sure why my post says 2 days ago by the way, I’m positive I posted it 3 days ago, but I think it’s because I updated it 2 days ago. Anyway..

This seems a little crazy to me, but in simple words to properly test for an allergy they said they’d have to give him gradually increasing amounts of Ibuprofen to see if he reacts, and if he does they had emergency meds. I thought they were gonna do a blood test or something, I was honestly skeptical but he just immediately agreed so I just went along with it..albeit nervously. (Shouldn’t this at least require an appointment or some shit?)

Like I said though, he wasn’t allergic, and he said he didn’t feel any different this time after taking it.

The drive back was awkward, he was still mad at me, and I think he got more upset after learning there wasn’t any medical reason he reacted the way he did.

Honestly though, I was still confused, even though it was obviously just a placebo effect, I was unconvinced he had never taken Ibuprofen before.

So I texted his mom and asked her if he really had never taken Ibuprofen before. She told me he indeed has taken Ibuprofen before, and that he literally has some in his bathroom currently. (I’ll put the text in the comments because I can’t attach it here.)

At this point I thought this was either some elaborate bit or he really just forgot the name of Ibuprofen. I assumed the latter, going this far for a bit seems insane.

He was giving me the silent treatment via text, so this morning I called him and asked for him to come over again so we could talk about it. Clearly he was still upset with me, so I wanted to resolve this because I was already kinda over it all.

He came over and I apologized again I told him I was sorry I hurt and dismissed his feelings, that I must have misread the situation and my intention wasn’t to make fun of him or make him feel embarrassed..etc, but also that he couldn’t keep ignoring me and grueling over this forever since it wasn’t really something to end a relationship over. (I also showed him his mom’s texts) I even offered we could go out to Dairy Queen or something since I did say something hurtful and I felt bad I embarrassed him.

:) The end!

Not really. Honestly I don’t know why that wasn’t the end of it.

This is so stupid that I’m embarrassed to post it, but I will, fuck it I guess.

He deadass looked at me with the most serious face ever and said, “Did you lace me?”

??:?:???//??wtf

I was genuinely stunned, I only could respond with “What??”

He fucking *reiterated* “Did you fucking lace me?”

I’ll list off the rest of the conversation like a script.

Op sits there shocked into literal silence for however long. She speaks. “No?? Why the hell would you think that?”

Ops boyfriend stares at her in suspicion. She’s trying to figure out how he came to this insane as fuck conclusion. He speaks. “I didn’t feel anything when the doctor gave me it, but whenever you did I felt high.”

Op is trying to figure out what to say without insulting his intelligence. She speaks. “Because you expected to get high the first time. That’s how the placebo effect works.”

Ops boyfriend raises his voice, Op is getting increasingly pissed off. He speaks. “That’s bullshit, If I wasn’t supposed to get high, I wouldn’t have. So you fucking laced me.”

Op definitely does not raise her voice too because she’s definitely the bigger person and never yells. She speaks. (calmly) “You didn’t get fucking high.”

Ops boyfriend interrupts her. He speaks. “I’ll just take a drug test then.”

Op speaks. (calmly) “You expect me to just know how to cut pills? Why the fuck would I even do that?”

I’ll spare you the rest of the conversation because frankly I don’t really remember our exact words, and it just goes in circles for another 5-10 minutes. Let me know if Netflix comments in awe my exceptional script writing skills.

I realize quickly though he’s fucking stupid and fully convinced himself I laced him with cut Ibuprofen.

In this moment I think of all of the comments calling him an idiot and truly wished I had listened and just broke up with him.

Whatever though, because I broke up with him right after I think about my stupid reddit post. I’m not sure how to make this part theatrical, sorry.

Long story short I cussed him out a little and called him stupid, which I admittedly probably shouldn’t have done, but I don’t really care. I told him to leave and he did, that’s pretty much the end of it. An hour later though he started blowing up my phone and sort of switched back and forth between accusing me of drugging him and asking for me back. I blocked him.

I’m watching Rick and Morty right now though, I didn’t realize there had been a new season. Did y’all know he killed Rick Prime?? Damn.

I honestly am stuck on this situation if I should continue to stand my ground or not depending if IATA so I came to Reddit. This situation began when I started to organize my room, this includes the stuff I stored and have not used for years. I recovered my Ps4, it was still in good condition, during my time playing with, I made sure with absolute certainty that I do not damage or compromise any of the device's components.

My father gifted this to me, and it was the first console I ever received. It holds a sentimental place in my heart. I still live with my parents, but I pay for space and utilities, plus contribute to expenses like groceries and gas. This is an important detail for later.

I let my cousins take a few toys of mine plus my gift on top of that after he went through it without permission but it was his bday so what could I do? My aunt also let him go through it and just her to not touch some stuff as they might be private or important. He went further and found my room which I do not know how he knew where my room was and took my Ps4 out and said to my aunt, "Mommy, I got a ps4!” with an excited voice. I expected my aunt to try and take it away and tell him to not touch stuff from somebody else’s room, but she looked happy and just said “Wow, now you can play it!”.

I told my cousin that I was not planning on gifting that and apologized for the misunderstanding to him and my aunt. I was holding back some of my true thoughts but I did not want to deal with them. My aunt then replied “Well you got him all excited so you have to give it now”. I then said “Sorry I really am not ready to give it, I could do other stuff with it or perhaps even play with it. I would need more time to think”. We had am irritating exchange of asking and saying no while my cousin was starting to cry in the corner during the party, it was getting more intense each second. The true turning point was when my aunt frustratingly replied as my cousins was whining that he wanted my console “ Well, a man child freeloader like you should not playing around with some consoles anymore and actually get a Job”.

This is where I might be the BF.I replied, “just because you can’t control your child does not mean you need to make it a problem for other people.” Then she said “ Are you accusing me of being a bad parent?” She said more, mostly just slurs and insults but I let her finish. I said, “Well I know you are a bad wife” in a sarcastic voice.

The whole room went silent. For context, she and her ex-husband split almost a year ago and now the husband is already dating again and according to my aunt, looking much happier which was allegedly unfair to her she said. My parents said to me after everybody left that I had crossed a line and should have just gave up the console since I was more than capable to get a much better console but I do not think so, but I still did say something bad in response.

So Reddit, was ITBF

This happened 2 years ago but I’ve been thinking about it and I want some insight, so 2 years ago I was in a relationship and he had a lot of mental problems and couldn’t be controlled at times but usually not towards me. We got in a big fight and he threw things and called me names and I got scared so I left when I was maybe 4 feet away from the front door he opened it and said «if you ever come back I’ll fucking kill you»

He didn’t contact me after that, but at the time he was using so his parents took his phone but he still had an iPad so he could contact me on socials but he didn’t, he just went silent. Then I started sleeping around ish after a month of NC then two months after that I got a messege and he invited me over to talk, and when I came over he hugged me and just updated me about his life and stuff and nothing happened and I left and moved on. He tried to contact me but I said I wasn’t interested

And then recently I met up with my friend and she was with him then he brought it up and said «I thought we were still together then I find out your sleeping with other guys» I told him what he said when I left and that he didn’t contact me and he didn’t reply to that but I’ve been thinking AITB?

I’m not sure if this counts as NSFW. Welp…

For some context, I (F16) go to a private school, where things aren’t generally taken seriously, and the schools reputation always matters above everything. I have female teachers who do act strangely towards some of the boys in my class, but it’s always dismissed and the boys enjoy it. I happen to be friends with one of them let’s name him (M17) A. So this teacher let’s name her (F21) S, used to attend our school and has about a five-year age difference with us. She now teaches religious studies to elementary schoolers, but tries to keep a close camaraderie with the high schoolers. We find this a little bit strange because it did seem a little bit inappropriate to be close friends with boys that much younger than you.

A few months ago, my friend A. had face-timed me and brought up a voicemail. Apparently the teacher had A’s phone number and was texting him. He ended up blocking her, and she left a very long voicemail essentially begging him to unblock her almost like a frantic ex. S said she didn’t know what she did wrong and that she just wanted to talk to him again. Everyone agreed that she was very predator-like.

A mentioned how he saw S at a restaurant and when he had gone to the bathroom, she stepped in front of him and told him why are you not talking to me? What did I do wrong? At the time I didn’t feel like it was my place to report it, so I did nothing.

This weekend, I received a text from A that S was spamming him getting upset at him for not responding and for recently blocking her. She even referred to him as an “ugly monkey.” Then S sent a massive paragraph for his 17th birthday at 12 AM. She also somehow heard A was taking his drivers test and wished him good luck.

A sent me a screen recording of their entire chat. Back in the beginning of April they had been texting. S asked what he was doing, and he said he had just gotten out of the shower and she responded with “save me a spot on your bed.” “Can I come over?” A had responded no and that his brother was home and she said it’s fine. Just tell him that I’m coming over to tutor you anatomy and physiology all about the body.

Now I instantly told A it’s not funny anymore and he has to report this especially now that all the proof is there. He said that he wanted to wait until the school year ended. I told A it was wrong and that S teaches elementary school students and who knows how she can be using her authority on others.

A told me not to do anything. He didn’t want all the attention to be on him and potentially ruin S’s family. I said I don’t care and that S shouldn’t be texting and grooming minors to begin with. My friends say I probably shouldn’t say anything because that was on A to report it.

I just feel so guilty having these evidence and videos of a teacher taking advantage of a student and not doing anything about it. So would I be the butt face if I reported her anyway behind his back? What would you have done?

Sticker bombing: covering a surface with a dense and overlapping layer of stickers.

I finally managed to overcome my sticker anxiety/paralysis and stuck a bunch of stickers onto my laptop. The stickers generally have illustrations of animals coupled with snarky sayings on them (eg. This *is* my happy face). There is only a couple of stickers with expletives, either the F word or 💩. I usually use my laptop at cafes to study or do some work.

Recently I have shifted to study/work at areas where there are more young children around (think quiet fast food restaurants, ice cream parlours etc). I didn’t expect kids to take notice of the stickers on my laptop but realised there are more and more kids (usually primary school children) taking notice of the stickers on my laptop and even spending extended periods of time to look and read the stickers. A particularly embarrassing incident was a kid’s grandparent who didn’t speak or read English treating my laptop stickers as a learning tool and asking their grandchild to identify all the animals on the stickers.

Would I be the buttface if I don’t cover up my laptop stickers when using my laptop in areas where children are around? Context: this is a relatively conservative society where literacy rates are high. The language on the stickers are relatively easy for any primary school child to be able to read, though they would likely miss the snark behind the sayings.

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My boyfriend has been preparing for competitive exams for the past 5 months, and his exams are now just 10 days away. I know he has been under a lot of stress during this time. Earlier in our relationship, he used to give me a lot of attention, write long paragraphs, and be very emotionally available. But during his preparation, that changed, and I started feeling like something was missing.

I’ll admit that I didn’t support him as well as I should have. I often picked fights over small things because I felt emotionally neglected. Over time, he became more irritated and started responding with rude and harsh words.

Today we had another argument, and he told me that I destroyed his studies, that these 5 months were wasted because of our fights, and that I never understood his pain. He also said he should have left instead of giving me 12 hours a day for my “baseless attention.”

Now I feel really guilty and confused. I know I made mistakes by fighting during an important time for him, but his words also hurt me a lot.

AITB for causing stress during his preparation, or is he being too harsh by blaming me for ruining his studies?

I 25M have been playing DnD for 5 years with a group I met online during the pandemic. In December a week or so before Christmas we all logged on for a session and before we started playing we began talking about our dream gifts for Christmas. One of my friends said they were hoping for some new Lego and I stated that I had always wanted a Lego Hogwarts set but I unfortunately don’t have room. We chatted for a few minutes more then got on with our game. I did notice one of my friends seemed abit quiet during the session but I just assumed they were probably tired or something. Later that night that friend sent a long message into the group chat saying how offended they were some people would bring up Harry Potter when they know how transphobic that was and it showed how we didn’t care about their mental health and should make an effort in the future never to mention it. This annoyed me because I knew the message was directed at me, so I responded with a message saying how some of us are just huge fans of something and we are able to separate art from the artist. I’m able to listen to Kanye while ignoring his current controversies. This is where I might be the asshole. I also implied they were too sensitive because if they had had real trauma they would not be offended by words. My friend is non binary and they have often flipped out on me or lost their temper if I ever misgendered them and I was kind of sick of how they acted over small offences. The DnD group was divided on our argument. They didn’t agree with how my friend was acting but they didn’t like what I said in response either. We haven’t played DnD since and it breaks my heart our group got broken up because I said I wanted a Lego set someday. Reddit Am I the Asshole?

I (16 M) am in the same class as a guy (16 M) who doesn’t care about any boundaries. Here is what happened. Every Thursday we go down to the Maclab to do online work. I like to do my before Thursday so I can spend my time playing games. This guy ( I will be calling him jerk from now on) I mentioned is really popular and sporty but he is not too pleasant to be around if you aren’t his friend. He likes to bring up old favors he did for people when hi doesn’t get his way or he likes to manipulate and sometimes hit them. So I was on my computer playing games and he is sitting behind me (our backs are turned to eachother). He turns around and he asks to play what I’m playing for a round. The game I’m playing is a browser fps and the rounds are long. I don’t feel like it so I tell him no. He asks me again (in a more stern, hostile tone) and I say no again. He gets up from his seat and he puts one hand on the keyboard and one hand on my hand which is on the mouse ( there were people helping eachother out so there were already some people standing) and he calls me a dick. I was in a pissy mood so I tell him no and that he was acting like a predator and that anyone else would have gotten the no and left by now. After hearing that he proceeded to walk back to his seat and slam down on it. We didn’t speak the rest of the class he hit his keyboards keys pretty hard and he glared at me whenever I saw him in the hallways. I feel like I could have been nicer to him and I think comparing him to a predator was a step too far. So AITBF ?

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship and we haven’t met in real life yet. He is highly attracted to my body and always wants to be with me 24/7—he randomly calls or messages me just to hear my voice, and when I seem less loving, he acts like a little baby and seeks attention. At the same time, he can act like a strict parent or “daddy” figure when I don’t study or focus on my work because he constantly wants me to study for my better future. Most of our arguments become harsh only around studies, where his tone on text feels rude or harsh, but on calls he sounds calm and reasonable. He told me I shouldn’t judge him based on his texting tone during arguments until we actually meet in real life. He says he loves me a lot and wants the best for me, but sometimes I feel confused about whether this behavior and dynamic is healthy in a long-distance relationship. Is this normal or something I should be concerned about?he told me he is only harsh after telling me 1000 times calmly to study and when I don't he becomes rude and harsh .