r/raisedbynarcissists

so we’re at my aunt’s place eating this dry ass chicken and my mom (50sF) is in that weird extra nice mood she gets sometimes and i swear that’s always when something goes sideways, she starts telling stories about me as a kid but not like cute ones more like “haha remember when she lied for attention” type stuff and everyone’s doing that fake laugh like haha yeah… and im just sitting there like ok cool we’re doing this again, and i don’t even remember exactly what she said word for word but it was basically the same thing she used to tell people back then, that i made stuff up, that i was “difficult”

and i kinda froze for a bit tbh like i just kept poking at my food thinking just let it pass like always but then she goes on about how i’d lie to get sympathy and my cousin looks at me all weird and idk something just snapped or slipped or whatever

i said yeah i lied like when i told the school counselor everything was fine because i didn’t want to deal with what would happen if i didn’t

and it got QUIET like stupid quiet, even my aunt stopped mid bite, and my mom just stared at me for a second then did this fake laugh and was like wow still making things up huh

and that kinda pissed me off more than if she just yelled tbh

so i just… kept going, not even loud just talking into my plate like listing stuff, the screaming, her throwing my xbox once, the time she locked me out (i think i was like 14? maybe 13 idk exactly) and i remember it being cold af but she’ll probably say im exaggerating or something

no one said anything, like literally no one jumped in, not defending her not defending me just sitting there like npcs

then she stands up says im trying to humiliate her grabs her bag and leaves

dinner basically died after that, people started talking about random crap but it felt fake as hell

now she’s ignoring my calls and texts, my aunt messaged me like “maybe not the best time” but didn’t actually say i was wrong

and idk this is the part messing with my head, i didn’t lie, like not even a little, but also yeah i kinda blew it up in front of everyone and now it’s a whole thing

part of me feels weirdly lighter like finally saying it out loud where she couldn’t just shut it down, but also i feel like crap because now it’s messy and i don’t even know what happens next

My narcissistic mother was upset that we didn’t give her enough time to arrange joining us for our trip to Disneyland 3 weeks ago to celebrate my 3 year olds birthday…that she demanded that I repay her the $2K that they “gifted” me 12 YEARS AGO to help buy my first home.

Let me set the record straight that I have borrowed money from them multiple times since than and have paid back every cent. If you borrowed money and expectations are to pay to back, you absolutely should…no question about it.

But I have had multiple promotions, sold two houses (for profit), and have had 11 tax returns in the last 12 years…and this gift was never mentioned once. They helped cover some of the cost of our wedding 5 years ago and nothing. She does this shit because it’s her way of getting back for not being the center of attention and it’s so childish.

I have dealt with this woman for 39 years and at this point, this bullshit is normal (scary to say) and I care very little about her. I gave them a check last week and want nothing to do with them, which is easier for someone who has been through this shit time and time again…but the person my heart breaks for is my wife.

She has “normal” parents who support her unconditionally and this shit with my mom breaks her down. I just hate that she doesn’t have a normal mother in law that she can connect with ends some days in tears because of her.

I (20) have been living on my own for a while now. I pay my own rent, I work, and I’m currently interviewing for a second job to make sure I never have to rely on my family again. Despite this, my family treats my independence like it’s a joke. My stepdad has literally told me multiple times that I’m “not an adult,” and they constantly pressure me to move back home so they can “support” (control) me.

I’ve been in therapy for a few months now specifically to deal with the mental toll they’ve put on me, but a recent trip to Hawaii reminded me why I left. This is just a tiny piece of the years of "shit" I’ve dealt with from them:

- We went on a 4-mile hike. I was the only one who actually prepared and brought water. I shared some with my siblings but kept enough for myself to stay hydrated. I was yelled at and told I wasn't being "nice" because I didn't give it all away.

- My mom texted me for water while I was at the top, but I didn't see it until we were back at the car. When she finally met up with us, she started screaming at me for not waiting for her at the peak. I told her we were just heading down and she could join us. Then, my sister made a random meme reference. I finished the joke. My mom immediately assumed we were making fun of her and started screaming even more. I finally snapped and told her I’m done with her shit and not everything is about her. She immediately played the victim.

- My stepbrother and I walked the rest of the way down in the heat with no water. When we got to the car, my stepdad and little sister were sitting in the AC in a tight convertible. I asked my stepdad nicely if he could move his seat up so we could sit in the back and get out of the sun. His response? “Nah, I’m good.” I lost it, called him a “child,” and slammed the door. My stepbrother and I had to sit in the heat for another 20 minutes waiting for my mom to come down.

- Whenever I use logic to point out a double standard (like how my stepdad makes crude jokes about wearing women's underwear but I'm "uncourteous" for defending my hygiene) they hide behind "Respect your elders." My mom tells me I “always need the last word” and my grandma says I “always want to be right.”

I don’t take bullshit or lies lightly. I’ve reached a point where I yell back because I’m done being policed by people who are completely inconsistent. Now I’m the "argumentative" one. Is it "toxic" to demand that respect be a two-way street? I feel backed into a corner and I just need to know if I'm actually the problem here.

TL;DR: I’m 20, independent, and in therapy, but my family treats me like a child, ignores my basic needs (like water/AC), and then labels me "argumentative" when I finally react to their hypocrisy.

I posted the original story in r/aitah and someone there suggested this subreddit. Just looking to vent mostly but i will appreciate any tips on how to navigate this situation as well as stories if you've had to deal with something similar.

Last thursday my mom said her and my dad would be in the area and that they were going to pass by. i told them no. I wanted to spend alone time with my husband and son and did not want any visitors. I was supposed to go visit today anyways and had already seen them last tuesday.

They showed up to my house unnanounced anyways and just walked in my house after just knocking once and no answer. i got so mad i kicked them out and told them they needed to respect my boundarie to which they said they did not need permission to come to their daughter's house.

We have not spoken since because i am still very mad and they do not want to apologize or recognize that what they did was terribly wrong.

She called my MIL yesterday (they are fairly close and knew each other before i met my husband) sobbing saying that i kicked her out, that i do not love her and that she wanted to kill herself, to take care of their grandson well after she is gone.

I have speculated that she has some undiagnosed condition but this solidified it to me. I know she is not well. She told MIL that she did nothing wrong even after MIL told her that was not ok and that she should have called first or just accepted my no from the beginning.

Anybody experienced something like this in the past? what should i do in this situation?

I just want to get the opinion of the public because I feel like I'm going insane. I try to be a really good kid (straight A's, no drugs/drinking, always willing to help out) and I still get treated like I'm not worthy of any respect or trust. My mom won't let me cut my hair short (even though I'm transgender ftm and having to look in the mirror is slowly killing me), she goes through everyone of my texts (and often replies on my behalf to my teenage friends), she stalks all my friends from my account on instagram, and I have to fight tooth and nail to be able to dress myself.

I'm so, so very depressed and have absolutely no chance of getting professional help because my mom doesn't believe in therapy. I've told her about my depression before and she screamed at me for an entire day and then didn't talk to me for a week straight because I was "ungrateful." I just don't know what to do.

The current battle is that I'm being forced to take 4 college classes outside of my extremely vigorous online high school schedule. My mom dismisses and yells at me every time I try to say I'm burnt out. My dad sometimes tries to help me, but then she'll scream at him and beat the shit outta him. I feel like I'm going insane because I'm going to bed at 2:00 am every night due to how much work I have to do.

I want to go to the school counselor but my mom literally constantly has eyes on me and is in my email and in my texts. If I tried to change any of my passwords, I don't know how fucking crazy she'd go. Also she doesn't have a job so she just is controlling me all fucking day.

I'm sorry for the vent, but I go to an online school so I'm literally completely alone and I don't have anyone to talk to. My older brother is at college and he's still getting controlled by her everyday (she still picks his outfits every day wtf???) so I'm just feeling like I'm at a dead end.

So I wake up. Long weekend because it’s Easter.

The only thing she is concerned about is ME doing all the chores for her so she can “go out later” and come back to a clean house.

I basically just said; “if you can’t be bothered then you have enough money to pay for a cleaner”.

And said “It’s not my house, I don’t care, I have my own house that’s my responsibility”

Then got the: “No but that’s different” treatment. And various screechings of “but so and so are coming later and the house needs to be tidy”

Oh dear. Again. Doesn’t sound like my problem.

And I slammed the door in her stupid face.

The audacity to think I simply exist just to be the donkey and do all your chores and housework for you. Just because you are too fat and lazy when it suits. Yet expect everyone to drop everything when you need something.

She seems to think I’m still a 15 year old kid on a rota that will get grounded if I don’t play ball. Forgetting that I’m now an adult.

And the repercussions of me saying no is nothing. You can’t threaten me anymore. Ahhhhhhhaaaa.

Not happening.

It’s as if they don’t realise that you actually have a LIFE outside of their stupid little bubble they have created. You can’t control me anymore. I don’t live under your roof.

Thankfully I’ve only got a day left here.

I can’t wait to get out of here and be away from her bullshit and controlling behaviour.

Hateful old woman that wonders why everybody has “distanced themselves” from her….. hmmmmm I wonder why. Not a nice person to be around 24/7.

(F30) I have two narcissistic, controlling parents and I feel completely trapped. I’m the scapegoat in my family. I can’t date, have a relationship, or move out until I get married but I also can’t choose who I marry. My parents insist I marry someone from our village, from an immigrant family often even relatives or cousins. I come from a migrant family, but I’m not even attracted to men from my own background. That makes everything even harder and more restrictive.

I grew up in an abusive household. Since I was 21, my mother has called me a “leftover woman.” My father constantly tells me he’s disappointed. Both have physically hurt me, my father hit me when people tried to pressure me into arranged marriages and I refused. My sister, the “golden child,” has also bullied me constantly.

Normally I don’t have a problem attracting men. But as soon as they realize I’m not allowed to go out at night and that I have a controlling, “crazy” family, they lose interest and disappear. I’ve reached a point where I feel like an incel. Because I have to hide everything, I’ve never had a real relationship. I only end up in situationships with men who don’t take me seriously and just want my body. For cultural reasons, I’m still a virgin and only do other stuff with no intercourse. When I did have a boyfriend, my mother told me my father would kill both of us if I married him. They beat me and spat on me until I broke up with him.

I tried moving out last year for 2 months and felt completely alone. I couldn’t tell anyone because it’s embarrassing. My mother found my address and mobilized the whole family, aunt, cousins, even my sister, calling me, saying I could get raped or that something terrible would happen. They pressured me to come back. My parents use massive psychological manipulation.

At New Year I started a huge argument because of this situation, and my mother said “what do you want me to do, should I kill myself?! My father attempted suicide at the beginning of January. Now he is in a psychiatric clinic and comes to visit us on weekends. Both of my parents have severe depression. I have contact with my sister partly because she has a disabled child.

What scares me the most is being completely alone. I don’t want to lose my family, even after everything. I’m terrified of cutting contact, but I also feel like I can’t live like this anymore. I also know that if I leave, my parents will tell everyone that I’m a bad daughter who abandoned them and they will never tell anyone what they did to me. I’m severely depressed, exhausted, and feel like I have no strength left. I feel like a failure. I have a job and have saved money, but I still constantly worry about finances.

I’ve been in therapy for 2 months now, and my therapist is telling me I need to move out. He even said that if I stay, in 5 years I might not even be able to have children anymore. But it’s easier said than done when you have no one in your environment who supports you. It feels extremely lonely.

I’m scared of making a mistake, but I also know I can’t continue like this. The reason I waited this long is because I keep hoping my parents will change and because I avoid facing my situation. What if I move out and don’t find a partner? Or I end up with someone bad who just uses me? Then I’m completely on my own.

What should I do?

My mother always put herself first, never apologised and caused me a lot of pain that I’ve been dealing with ever since I moved out at 18 (I’m 38 now).

I have a 7 year old son Peter (yes he’s named after Spider-Man) and I haven’t been a great mother to him. I love him more than anyone, I hug him everyday, I read to him at night, me and him play with our cats, I spend time with him in our house and out so I can bond with him and I enrolled him in boxing and drama classes because he likes those and he can make friends while developing skills but I should be more patient and understanding with him.

I’m currently going through a divorce so I’ve not been able to spend a lot of time with him and my sisters have been taking turns looking after him which I am very grateful for. Yesterday I sat him down to tell him I love him, ask if he’s doing ok and that I’m sorry for everything’s he’s had to go through because of this. When I told him “I know I’m not a great mum and I’m sorry” but he said “no I’m happy you’re my mum” when he said that I just hurt into happy tears and hugged him and I didn’t let go until he said he needed to pee.

This honestly meant the world to me, I don’t know if I deserve it but it’s helped me heal from my own pain from my mother because I’ve always worried I’d be a bit like her as a mother which is a part of me I wish I could have ripped out but now I believe that I’m not like her at all so I can shed that part of me and move on.

I told him I’m happy he’s my son and I am because he is the cutest. Kindest, sweetest boy a mess like me could hope for he’s been a better son to me than I deserve and I’m grateful everyday for having him.

I'm angry. There were so many times in my life when someone could have intervened.

One example is my family used to attend a 'family' christmas party every year, it was a long held tradition. it was that typical family party witb family friends where you attend when young and get bored, then start to enjoy when you get older and are able to talk to people.

The first time I remember vividly is when I was allowed to pick my own dress out. I made a massive deal out of it and my Grandpa offered to pay for it. I could have got the most stupid dress imaginable and my Grandpa would have told me I was beautiful. I was 14 at the time and was a goth so it was very gothic but clearly a dress for a teenager.

I remember splitting from my family and going to the buffet table and grabbing a prosecco.

(side note - I'm nearly 28 now and still get checked when buying wine, I look young now and so much so then)

This man came up and started talking to me, reader I was thrilled! I was 14 and this man started talking to me saying I was so interesting and had such insight. I of course loved it and continued chatting away. We chatted for like an hour then got naturally separated by the party.

That man started bragging to another guy about how mature I was, how much insight I had etc ...

That man was my father, and he informed the guy I was 14. that's the good shit right? thats the fatherly thing to do right?

NO, every year I was called that man's little wife. it was encouraged I would see him and act like it. that's so fucked up. I was encouraged to flirt with this 30 year old man when I was 14 then 3 became a running joke. they made me kiss him.

feels good for getting this out. I'm just so angry all the time.

Just wanted to say that I'm finally free and got my closure while also going no contact. Yay!!

They faked a cancer announcement to get me to go home and "talk", the talk quickly became ugly and i got told to fuck off forever, which i gladly did, while flicking them off. So satisfying. And im so so so happy to have gotten that closure, finally. Blocked them on everything, uninvited them to my wedding and my future children will never have to deal with them xoxo

This is something I’ve dealt with from my parents. Whenever I tell them how they have hurt me they say “you still are holding onto things from that long ago?, stop holding grudges.” Or they tell me I’m too sensitive

In early January I finally told my Nmom that I had a baby and she is not welcome in it's life in any way, shape, or form. This is after months of her harassing my little brother with insistence that I must've had a baby because she dreamt it. (And yes, I did, but she genuinely had no way of knowing at the time as it was before my husband or I had told anyone.)

I have explicitly told her to not contact me and thought I blocked her. (A repeated pattern as every time I block her and my phone updates it unblocks her, no idea why.)

But just now she texted me the following:

"Can (stepdad), (little sister), and I send gifts for you and the baby? I am putting together videos and photo albums for you and copy of the baby book I made when I knew I was having you it goes up to you being 2yrs. I think it would nice for you and your family. Just like my Mom did for me."

I'm not going to lie, this makes me mad. Not only is she using precious memories and photos of me as a child- ones that nobody else has and would be great to pass on- but she's also using my poor stepdad and little sister to try and get to me. I love them both very much and get little-to-no contact with them thanks to her, so it's hitting me right in the heart.

Because of this the smallest, most desperate part of me wants to say yes and just send it to my brother, who is LC/considering NC with her and agreed to this, so he can filter out the bribery, but I know that it's all her way of trying to inch her way into baby and I's lives, something I refuse to allow.

The combination of anger and anxiety this is having me literally has me shaking, and I'm at work where I cannot be like this. If anyone has advice, please let me know.

I'm seriously considering a restraining order because this is the 5th or 6th time in 2 years that she has found a way around me going LC after I told her to stop talking to me, I just don't know if it would go anywhere.

I thought I’d share this story I have from Christmas 2024, and see if anyone else has any similar experiences? This was a big turning point for me, made me realise there was something seriously wrong.

So, 2 months before Christmas, we all sat at the table and discussed Christmas gifts. We were all a bit money poor, and decided it would be best if we do no presents and just have a big feast! Everyone agreed. My mother said she may buy 1 or 2 presents, but nothing major and she diddnt expect anything from anyone. (You know where this is going)

Christmas rolls around, I’m offering help in the kitchen every 10 mins I walk past “no no, go enjoy yourself I don’t need help” okay. My mother is extremely fussy and likes things done a certain way, so it is hard to just go in and help without guidance of how she wants something done. I made a meal on the day, I helped her prep days prior to Christmas. I helped her pack all the leftovers away and clean the kitchen after lunch, OCD clean.

My mother called everyone into the room and sat us all on the couch. She handed us each 1-2 presents. She watched us open them, we all said “thank you” extremely grateful. She then says “well, where are my presents?? Did you all forget about me?“. She scoffed, started yelling and crying. She stormed out of the room.

Shocked, we all sat in silence. We all agreed to no presents. I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face, he looked so uncomfortable.

She later had a screaming argument with the GC, violent yelling. I went for a walk to escape the noise. During my walk I received abusive text messages from my auntie (triangulation at its finest). 2 hours later I came home, went upstairs to check on everyone. It was silence and eerie. My GC brother told me that my mum wants to speak with me in her room. Oh fuck.

I went in there, sat on the end of her bed. She looked at me and said “I’m divorcing your father” (she diddnt actually, she was just reaching for reaction) I asked why, she went on a tangent about how we all forgot about her, we don’t make effort and that “nobody even offered to help her in the kitchen today” I told her “I did” she apparently “doesn’t remember”. Ok. I told her that she shouldn’t be getting our auntie to send us abusive messages and that it was in appropriate, her excuse was “she’s the only one who sticks up for me”. She then went on and on and started talking about my boyfriend badly, I shut the conversation down and told her that this was unhealthy, what happened today was unhealthy, she has a hard time communicating properly and that she should look into some therapy to maybe help.

Her reply was “I have been getting therapy for years secretly” (no she hasn’t). There’s always an excuse. We wrapped up conversation, she acknowledged that her actions were questionable, but she never said “sorry”or had any remorse. Instead, she pulled the depression card, and said she’s the “worst person ever and I should just kill myself”.

Our conversation went in circles, we wrapped it up and as I was walking out the door she muttered something mean about my boyfriend under her breath, I looked back at her and said it was very immature to act that way. She started up again and I just walked away. Defeat, knowing she would never be accountable, and we will never reach an ending.

The next few days were awkward, she ate her breakfast and dinner with her back to us.

Eventually, one day she just pretended like it never happened. In fact, Christmas 2025 she made a joke of the whole thing while clinking glasses “cheers” to us and said “I’ll be on my best behaviour this year”. 🙃

I (50F) have three adult children (all 24+) who still live at home. I have had a rocky relationship with my dad (70) going back to my childhood and I've always been much closer to my mom (my parents were together all through my childhood and my mom left him when I was in my early 20s). My dad genuinely feels like he has always been a great dad and I am not going to say he has been the worst, but he absolutely could have done better.

Just as some minor backstory, growing up, we were very active with our church (Methodist). We as in me, my mom, and my younger sister. I can pinpoint a small handful of times that my dad attended with us, and those times were primarily at Christmas and Easter and even then, very seldomly. He has never actively gone to church. I am sure he did as a child since my grandmother was active with her church (Southern Baptist). I do not currently go to church and haven't been active with any church in about ten or so years.

My dad has a friend from his small town he's from that is a minister at a very small Baptist church. He was in town for the weekend so he went to his friend's church. He's gone a few times when he is visiting and happens to be there on a Sunday (which happens maybe once or twice a year).

This brings us to yesterday. My dad calls and says, "Happy Easter!" I say it back and he proclaims: HE IS RISEN! It was very bizarre because not once in my fifty years of life has my dad every said anything like this to me. I said it back to him feeling very "blessed be the fruit".

He asks me what I'm doing for the day and I told him that we expected it to storm all weekend so we didn't plan anything but it is really nice out now. He asks if I went to church this morning and I said no. He asks me why not and I'm like...because I didn't? I haven't gone in a long time, and if I did start going again, it certainly wouldn't just be for Easter.

He then tells me I need to start making the kids go. I just said that I can't exactly make them go, they're adults. He said something about them not believing in God and I said I can't make them believe in anything. My oldest is agnostic, my middle is atheist, and my youngest is very spiritual, but not specifically Christian.

He then tells me that I need to put up some decor around my house like HE IS RISEN, GOD IS LOVE, etc. I said something like, "Yeah, that doesn't make people believe in God."

Then he tells me I need to make the kids go to church. Again, they are adults. I can't "make" them do anything. He says I could handcuff them. I laugh and say, "Oh yeah, I'm sure the church would love to have three handcuffed people being forced to come in."

And that's when he says that they are going to hell because they don't believe in God.

He immediately knows what he says is wrong but instead of apologizing for it, he says something to the effect of, "Anyway, let's just talk about something else."

Ummmm. No?

I said, "Okay, so you just said that you believe my children, your grandchildren, are going to hell. I am going to hang up now."

He interrupted and said something about them not believe in God and to just forget about it and let's talk about something else. Why on earth would he think I would want to talk about something else?

I said, "No, I am going to have this conversation with you. You believe my children are going to hell. I am hanging up now. I love you, dad, but I am not doing this."

That was yesterday just before noon. He hasn't reached out. No apology, nothing.

And he won't apologize.

We had a falling out several years ago and didn't talk for over a year. The falling out was over him saying hurtful things to one of my kids. That kid hasn't spoken to him since and he doesn't understand why.

When we started talking the last time, everything was swept under the rug and has just been ignored while we moved on for the greater good.

He spends his summers here where my sister and I live and it's honestly just a very stressful time for both of us. We have to spend a lot of time just tiptoeing around to avoid any topics that could lead into conflicting territory.

My dad has never talked about religion and again, church has never been a priority for him. So him saying this truly did feel like it just came out of nowhere.

I'm frustrated, I'm angry, and honestly just really hurt. I'm so incredibly tired of the fake and transactional relationship I have had with my dad over the majority of my life.

Everything comes with strings attached; I never ask my dad for anything, not even advice.

I'm so thankful for my mom and my stepdad who truly embodies the father figure spirit that every kid (adult or child) needs.

I don't even know what to do and I am so afraid of just saying yeah sure, it's fine, let's move on. He's older and I can see him trying to guilt trip me that way.

I'll try to keep this brief.

I've always had a bad relationship with my mother. We've never agreed politically, she mocked my multiple suicide attempts as a child, blamed me for getting bullied at school, when my grandpa died she said it should've been me instead, etc etc. I'll admit, I wasn't a perfect kid myself, and I definitely take accountability for some of my behavior when I was younger, but from my perspective and the perspectives of everyone I've ever asked, my mother was mostly the issue in our relationship.

Recently things came to a head after she randomly decided to look through my sketchbook. She took pictures of every drawing, including ones I made for my eyes only, and sent them to all our relatives. This wasn't the first time she's stolen my art to show to others, but at least before it was drawings I was ok with losing. I only found out because one day on my way to work she screamed at me for "drawing demons" when the drawing in question was a girl in a deer skull mask. As dumb as it sounds, I felt so violated. I had to leave work early because I kept bursting into tears in front of customers. The next day, I confronted her about it and she said "I only did it because you act scared when I open your bedroom door!" to defend herself, which I will admit I was but only because I had a scare over the possible death of a friend. She didn't know that, though. I don't tell her these things because I don't trust her to know.

Anyway, she burst into tears and did a whole "I don't wanna go to war with you over this" and "I was only mad at two drawings! That's it! The rest were fine!" Shpiel. But I had enough. I decided I was going to ignore my plan to save money and get my driver's license and just move out and figure things out later. I applied for job corps and made it about a third of the way through the application process.

It's been a month and a half, but I recently noticed my mom changed. She's still a bit rude at times, but she hasn't had a tantrum or screamed in my face in a while. She's even gone out of her way to do me favors without being asked, something she's never really done before unless she was in an extremely good mood. I haven't told her I'm leaving, nor do I plan to out of fear of sabotage, but it's like she somehow knows I'm leaving and is trying to convince me to stay. It's REALLY fucking with my head. I'm about to get my job corps start day and now the thought of it is bringing me nothing but dread and guilt. I suddenly feel like I'm making a bad decision, or that she hasn't done anything "bad" recently enough therefore me vanishing with no warning, especially leaving her alone with two young kids, is unjustified and I'm being evil and cruel somehow.

I'm not really looking for advice, although it is welcome. Honestly I just really wanted to vent and maybe hear some similar stories just to affirm to myself I'm not going insane.

Please hear me out. I have no one.

I'm 20. My only friend is my boyfriend and he's pulling away because I'm "too sad all the time." I live with my parents (absent dad, morbidly obese (it’s relevant lol) mom) and older sister who's never home on purpose. My other siblings escaped years ago. I'm not allowed to leave because I'm my mom's assigned caretaker.

She has no friends. Never leaves the house. Refuses a nurse. I go to uni 6am-6pm then come home to her. I can't leave for more than an hour. Can't go outside a 15-minute radius. She checks my phone. Controls my money (siblings send it to HER, I have to beg and get every purchase approved in front of my boyfriend). She exploits my diagnosed BPD on purpose, triggers me, then calls me crazy. Refuses to let me have therapy or medication.

My cousins sexually harassed me (pulled my hair to force me on my knees). When they got caught? I was blamed. I faced consequences. Not them.

Last year ON MY 19TH BIRTHDAY, my dad screamed at my mom in front of 30 family members. She refused to sleep next to him until he apologized. It's been a YEAR. He never apologized. They eat breakfast together but don't share a bed. Instead, she sleeps in MY room.

I haven't slept in a year. She snores like a chainsaw. Gets up at 3am, 5am (prays LOUDLY), 7am (random alarm). Leaves bathroom door open. Turns on every light. I wake up every time. Earplugs, melatonin, white noise? Nothing. Just ear damage.

I asked my sister to switch rooms. No. I asked my mom to sleep alone. No ("what if I need help"). She can't be left alone for 30 minutes.

I started sleeping on the living room couch. Dark. Silent. I finally sleep.

Now she's GHOSTING me. In person. In the same house. Won't look at me. Won't talk to me.

She fights with me daily over nothing. Threatens to hit me. Threatened to pour boiling water on me in my sleep. Says cruel things I can't type. She ignores me during arguments until I scream, then calls me insane. Said she'll make my life a living hell because of my "attitude." Which is really just my reaction to her shit.

No one helps me. My siblings think I'm dramatic. My dad doesn't care. My sister escapes daily. My boyfriend is leaving.

I have no one. I just want someone to see me. To tell me I'm not crazy. Because I feel like I'm drowning and everyone is watching. I swear I’m a fun loving interesting person. I was just not blessed with an environment to grow in.

This was a summary made by AI as my English isn’t that best.

I’m 46 and my mother is in her seventies. We’re Catholic, and the other day I told my mom that it’d be good for her and dad to go to confession. Her response: “I don’t have any sins.” What was most troubling and saddening about her response is that she wasn’t kidding.

I cut off contact with my n-mother about 1.5 years ago

after realizing that a lot of my childhood was emotionally manipulative. She always presented herself as the perfect, loving mom, but conflicts were never actually resolved. Instead, she would use expensive gifts, money, and grand gestures to avoid accountability. It took me a long time to even see it.

When my child was about one year old, something happened that made me finally set a hard boundary and go no contact. I told her exactly why.

A few months later, she sent a huge package full of gifts for me and my child, along with a very dramatic letter that mostly blamed me and made her the poor loving mother. She ended it with something like “this will be my last gift to my grandchild.” Then silence for over a year.

Now suddenly she’s back.

She found out through my grandmother that I’m pregnant again, and right after that, she sent another massive box. This time nothing for me. Just a ton of ecpensive toys, clothes, and a literal chest full of stuff for my now 2.5 year old. And a letter addressed to my toddler (WHAT THE F..!?) that I’m apparently supposed to read to him!!!!!!

That part really messed with me. He’s 2. He can’t even understand what she’s writing. It feels like she’s using him to get to me, while completely ignoring me as his mother.

I also have this fear that she’s saving copies of these letters and will try to contact him when he’s older, maybe as a teenager, to manipulate him and turn him against me.

I feel guilty for even thinking about rejecting the gifts because it’s “for my child,” but at the same time it feels completely wrong to accept them. Like I’d be allowing her to bypass me and establish some kind of connection with him behind my back. She is like a mysterious grandma who gives him very expensive gifts from time to time... we all know what she really want to do!

About a year ago she told my grandmother that she had considered taking legal action to get visitation rights, but decided not to because she “felt too sorry” for my son having to go through court appointments. At the same time she also said that no one can forbid her from “having” her grandchild and that I would eventually see what she’s capable of.

What scares me is that I feel like I’m in a lose lose situation. If I reject the gifts, I’m afraid she might escalate and become more aggressive or unpredictable. But if I accept them, I feel like I’m allowing her to slowly work her way into my child’s life and potentially manipulate him over time.

I don’t want to be naive here. I can’t just allow someone to build a relationship with my child through gifts and indirect contact, especially when there’s no respect for me as his mother.

At the same time I’m honestly scared of what happens if I draw a hard line.

What would you do in this situation? 😭

So I, a woman, have always been hairy. Even since I turned 12, I have had a mustache and monobrow I had to wax, because my mom was anti razors.

She thinks they’ll cause the hairs to get thicker even if I showed her it’s not true, she simply won’t believe it. Anyway. I stopped waxing at like age 20 and have been shaving it every few days when it grows back a bit and it’s been way easier for me.

A few days ago I forgot to shave it and went to see my mom and she saw the hairs and freaked out on me “you have a MUSTACHE??!!?!” and “ARE YOU SHAVING IT ??!!!” so I explained yes I just forgot.

Now she won’t let this go and even called me at 9 am because she needed to talk to me and… it was about my mustache and how I must stop shaving it and go get it LASERED? I don’t care, I don’t want to, she offered to pay, I still don’t want to and I said I can make my own decisions about my body and she said when I’ll be a mother I’ll understand and my problems are also her problems (her words).

She also does this with my hair, she hates my natural dark color, wants me to get highlights, claims it’s to “help” me. Or says I can’t wear sneakers or low waisted pants because I’m short and they make me look shorter so obviously that’s ugly (to her and the whole entire world). I’m so tired

please just hear me out for a second. i’m not asking for anything big. i just… don’t want to feel like i don’t exist anymore.

i’m 20 and i have no one. my boyfriend is basically my only friend and even he’s starting to pull away because i’m “too sad.” so now i feel like i’m losing the only person i had left.

my family situation is a mess. my parents have always been toxic with each other, constant fighting, cheating, yelling… growing up in that wasn’t just “unpleasant,” it was abusive. physically, mentally, everything. and yeah, in our culture it gets brushed off like it’s normal. but it doesn’t just disappear. i didn’t “move on.” i’m still living in it every day.

i’m basically stuck at home taking care of my mom. i go to uni all day and then come back and i’m just… trapped. i can’t go out, i can’t have a life, i can’t even leave the house for a bit without it turning into a problem. i have to ask for money like i’m a child. my phone gets checked. i get watched, questioned, controlled. all at 20.

on top of that, things happened to me growing up that i never got support for. i got blamed instead. and i’m still carrying that alone.

and then for the past year, i haven’t even been able to sleep properly. my mom moved into my room after a fight with my dad and never left. i’m up all night from noise, lights, everything. i tried everything to fix it. nothing worked. i ended up sleeping on the couch just to get some peace.

and now i’m being punished for that too. she barely speaks to me, fights me over everything, threatens me, says horrible things to me. uses my mental health against me. tells me i’m crazy, that none of this is real, that no one will ever love me.

i asked for therapy. got shut down. i asked for help. got ignored. i asked my siblings. they say i’m dramatic.

so it’s just me. every day. dealing with all of this alone.

and the worst part is starting to believe them. starting to think maybe i am the problem. maybe i really am just too much.

but it doesn’t feel like that. it feels like i’m drowning. like i’m screaming and no one hears me. like i’m stuck in this house and slowly losing myself and everyone is just… okay with it.

i don’t even know what i need anymore. i just want someone to look at me and say “this is not normal. you’re not crazy. i see what’s happening to you.”

i feel completely invisible.