u/worthless-0022

please just hear me out for a second. i’m not asking for anything big. i just… don’t want to feel like i don’t exist anymore.

i’m 20 and i have no one. my boyfriend is basically my only friend and even he’s starting to pull away because i’m “too sad.” so now i feel like i’m losing the only person i had left.

my family situation is a mess. my parents have always been toxic with each other, constant fighting, cheating, yelling… growing up in that wasn’t just “unpleasant,” it was abusive. physically, mentally, everything. and yeah, in our culture it gets brushed off like it’s normal. but it doesn’t just disappear. i didn’t “move on.” i’m still living in it every day.

i’m basically stuck at home taking care of my mom. i go to uni all day and then come back and i’m just… trapped. i can’t go out, i can’t have a life, i can’t even leave the house for a bit without it turning into a problem. i have to ask for money like i’m a child. my phone gets checked. i get watched, questioned, controlled. all at 20.

on top of that, things happened to me growing up that i never got support for. i got blamed instead. and i’m still carrying that alone.

and then for the past year, i haven’t even been able to sleep properly. my mom moved into my room after a fight with my dad and never left. i’m up all night from noise, lights, everything. i tried everything to fix it. nothing worked. i ended up sleeping on the couch just to get some peace.

and now i’m being punished for that too. she barely speaks to me, fights me over everything, threatens me, says horrible things to me. uses my mental health against me. tells me i’m crazy, that none of this is real, that no one will ever love me.

i asked for therapy. got shut down. i asked for help. got ignored. i asked my siblings. they say i’m dramatic.

so it’s just me. every day. dealing with all of this alone.

and the worst part is starting to believe them. starting to think maybe i am the problem. maybe i really am just too much.

but it doesn’t feel like that. it feels like i’m drowning. like i’m screaming and no one hears me. like i’m stuck in this house and slowly losing myself and everyone is just… okay with it.

i don’t even know what i need anymore. i just want someone to look at me and say “this is not normal. you’re not crazy. i see what’s happening to you.”

i feel completely invisible.

THIS IS GONNA BE LOOOOOONG but okay summarized (by deepseek) part one: I (20F) live with my parents (60M/59F, yes distant cousins, I KNOW) and sister (25F) in an Arab household. My parents have always had a terrible marriage. Dad cheated, was never emotionally present, still stays out till 4am. Both were extremely physically/verbally/emotionally abusive to me and my siblings from ages 5-14. We just don't talk about it because that's "normal" in Arab households. Whatever.

Last year ON MY 19TH BIRTHDAY, my mom did some harmless poll with family (30 people over). My dad started SCREAMING like someone was dying, yelling that she was "disrespecting him by taking money from other men." My uncles tried to calm him. Nothing. Everyone was shocked. I was shaking from PTSD. He went to the balcony for a smoke, then left for the night.

Mom said she wouldn't sleep next to him until he apologized. It's been a YEAR. He never apologized. They now eat breakfast together but STILL don't share a bed. Instead, SHE SLEEPS IN MY ROOM.

I haven't slept properly in a year. She snores like a chainsaw. Gets up at 3am, 5am (prays LOUDLY even though it's supposed to be silent), 7am (alarm for WHAT), 9am. Leaves bathroom door WIDE OPEN while pissing. Turns on every light. Demands I close/open windows, put blankets on her, put my phone away. I wake up EVERY TIME. I've tried earplugs, melatonin, white noise, pillows over my head. Nothing works. I gave myself ear damage for nothing.

I asked my sister to switch rooms. "No, I need my closet and my work space." I asked mom to sleep in sister's room. "No, what if I need help in the night?" She can't even be left home alone for 30 minutes. I've had to skip the gym, skip hanging out with my boyfriend (my only friend), skip uni attendance because of her.

Recently I started giving up and sleeping on the living room couch. It's dark, silent, and I actually sleep. But I'm still exhausted, still care for her all day, still check on her at night.

Mom says I'm abandoning her. Sister says I'm dramatic. Dad doesn't care. There's so much more to this story but character limit and hand cramps exsist.

AITA for sleeping on the couch instead of next to her?

(Edit: forgot to say that she claims the reason she’s against me sleeping outside (she literally yells at me for this) is cuz she feels bad for me cuz she knows about my back pain and that she thinks the couch is uncomfortable. Like pls, it’s more comfortable than my room now that you’re in it lol) rest in the comments.

Please hear me out. I have no one.

I'm 20. My only friend is my boyfriend and he's pulling away because I'm "too sad all the time." I live with my parents (absent dad, morbidly obese (it’s relevant lol) mom) and older sister who's never home on purpose. My other siblings escaped years ago. I'm not allowed to leave because I'm my mom's assigned caretaker.

She has no friends. Never leaves the house. Refuses a nurse. I go to uni 6am-6pm then come home to her. I can't leave for more than an hour. Can't go outside a 15-minute radius. She checks my phone. Controls my money (siblings send it to HER, I have to beg and get every purchase approved in front of my boyfriend). She exploits my diagnosed BPD on purpose, triggers me, then calls me crazy. Refuses to let me have therapy or medication.

My cousins sexually harassed me (pulled my hair to force me on my knees). When they got caught? I was blamed. I faced consequences. Not them.

Last year ON MY 19TH BIRTHDAY, my dad screamed at my mom in front of 30 family members. She refused to sleep next to him until he apologized. It's been a YEAR. He never apologized. They eat breakfast together but don't share a bed. Instead, she sleeps in MY room.

I haven't slept in a year. She snores like a chainsaw. Gets up at 3am, 5am (prays LOUDLY), 7am (random alarm). Leaves bathroom door open. Turns on every light. I wake up every time. Earplugs, melatonin, white noise? Nothing. Just ear damage.

I asked my sister to switch rooms. No. I asked my mom to sleep alone. No ("what if I need help"). She can't be left alone for 30 minutes.

I started sleeping on the living room couch. Dark. Silent. I finally sleep.

Now she's GHOSTING me. In person. In the same house. Won't look at me. Won't talk to me.

She fights with me daily over nothing. Threatens to hit me. Threatened to pour boiling water on me in my sleep. Says cruel things I can't type. She ignores me during arguments until I scream, then calls me insane. Said she'll make my life a living hell because of my "attitude." Which is really just my reaction to her shit.

No one helps me. My siblings think I'm dramatic. My dad doesn't care. My sister escapes daily. My boyfriend is leaving.

I have no one. I just want someone to see me. To tell me I'm not crazy. Because I feel like I'm drowning and everyone is watching. I swear I’m a fun loving interesting person. I was just not blessed with an environment to grow in.

This was a summary made by AI as my English isn’t that best.

THIS IS GONNA BE LOOOOOONG but okay summarized (by deepseek) part one: I (20F) live with my parents (60M/59F, yes distant cousins, I KNOW) and sister (25F) in an Arab household. My parents have always had a terrible marriage. Dad cheated, was never emotionally present, still stays out till 4am. Both were extremely physically/verbally/emotionally abusive to me and my siblings from ages 5-14. We just don't talk about it because that's "normal" in Arab households. Whatever.

Last year ON MY 19TH BIRTHDAY, my mom did some harmless poll with family (30 people over). My dad started SCREAMING like someone was dying, yelling that she was "disrespecting him by taking money from other men." My uncles tried to calm him. Nothing. Everyone was shocked. I was shaking from PTSD. He went to the balcony for a smoke, then left for the night.

Mom said she wouldn't sleep next to him until he apologized. It's been a YEAR. He never apologized. They now eat breakfast together but STILL don't share a bed. Instead, SHE SLEEPS IN MY ROOM.

I haven't slept properly in a year. She snores like a chainsaw. Gets up at 3am, 5am (prays LOUDLY even though it's supposed to be silent), 7am (alarm for WHAT), 9am. Leaves bathroom door WIDE OPEN while pissing. Turns on every light. Demands I close/open windows, put blankets on her, put my phone away. I wake up EVERY TIME. I've tried earplugs, melatonin, white noise, pillows over my head. Nothing works. I gave myself ear damage for nothing.

I asked my sister to switch rooms. "No, I need my closet and my work space." I asked mom to sleep in sister's room. "No, what if I need help in the night?" She can't even be left home alone for 30 minutes. I've had to skip the gym, skip hanging out with my boyfriend (my only friend), skip uni attendance because of her.

Recently I started giving up and sleeping on the living room couch. It's dark, silent, and I actually sleep. But I'm still exhausted, still care for her all day, still check on her at night.

Mom says I'm abandoning her. Sister says I'm dramatic. Dad doesn't care. There's so much more to this story but character limit and hand cramps exsist.

AITA for sleeping on the couch instead of next to her?