r/internetparents

Recently, I [26F] bought a car with the expectation of driving it to work. This was a key decision in my purchase because it would reduce my daily commute by more than 2 hours. I am paying for all insurance and car services. I have had my driving license for a while but I did have 1 year where I didn't drive after a minor accident in an old family car that my brother now drives.

My dad said he wanted to be in the car while I was driving. I wasn't feeling very confident and thought it was a good idea. So I would drive to work and then he would drive the car back home etc etc. The problem is that he has been holding on to my car keys which he keeps in their room. I didn't mind it at first because I assumed it was just a habit from keeping the car keys but now I have to ask for the keys every time I want to drive the car. It annoys me even more when I found out they were driving my car and scratched the front bumper.

They tell me I need to be responsible but honestly I don't even know what that means for them anymore. I would like to be responsible for myself and not have to ask permission to drive a car that I paid for.

I've just gone through a huge transitional period in my life, moved across the country, got a good used car, found a (regretfully) bad job, and have been slowly but steadily saving some money for a little while now. But I just feel like this isn't going to really lead to anything for my future.

Then again, looking at how things are in the world right now, it feels like I have no way of making a real future for myself anyway. I'm almost 30, haven't ever dated and don't know where or how I would do that, given I don't drink and am comfortable being in small groups. I wanted to get a nice IT job, and work my way up the latter, but of course, looking at the miserable job market, things never really panned out for me, even after going to school and doing what I needed to do.

So what's next, am I just going to be hopping from one crappy job to the next, with no real future where I could potentially meet a girl and start a new life with her? Why is life so situational? What does anyone do when the world feels like it's caving in on you?

21f, I’m in university and am the eldest child. My parents have been telling me their problems and how we’re struggling in every way for my entire life. My boyfriend keeps telling me that they’re doing fine and they just say this but it caused me to go through life with a lot of difficulties and anxiety. I moved away for university to get better opportunities and I spent my time saving every penny and even ended up at the food bank a couple times, just a lot of financial stress, tried to do any job that I could find. I finally ended up getting an internship but I commute 4 hours everyday and the work is a lot, like I will be working till 12 AM sometimes.

My parents are mad for some reason that I’m trying to give this internship as much as I can, they even called me a slave at one point. They get mad if I’m sitting on the desk working and they’ll say things like oh her work isn’t even important. I get called selfish for asking to use the desk to do my work and get told that I only care about myself, and my future. It’s all causing me to have a mental breakdown, I’ve been getting chest pains like not anxiety chest pains these weird pains where it feels like my heart stops beating and I also haven’t been able to sleep lately. I don’t know how to make my situation better.

Like the title says, does life ever get better?

I am 27 M, living on my own. I am doing okay professionally.

But I still can’t find any reason to be happy. Everything in my life is great. I have a family who love me, friends who care… a job that pays me enough.

Still I feel so empty all the time. I woke up the other night, stressed about the fact that I am not stressed. I understand that this sounds like a privilege. I have it wayyyyyyy better than most people. But I still can’t be happy. For a long time, I thought that maybe finding love is the solution.

That’s not it, honestly. I have found and let love go. I have this innate self loathing that keeps telling me that the other person deserves better. What if people judge them for being with me? What if they realise I am a mess?

Will I ever be able to be truly happy? Will I ever feel enough for people around me? Will this feeling of emptiness ever leave my stomach? Will there be light at the end of the tunnel? Does life get better?

I’m 21 to preface, and my parents are always odd about me dating someone they always are like I wanna meet this guy? Or come to their own conclusions and end up not liking them; sometimes I just wanna talk to someone and not have to worry about them seeing my parents.

I'm 23, about to be 24, and I've never felt so aimless. My entire life my only goal and want is to just get out of abuse. I'm still stuck in it, but as I near closer to my escape, I feel more scared than ever. Because I don't have an after plan. I have no idea what I want out of life, no idea what would make me happy or what I should do next. All I've known is survival. How do you learn to thrive?

I'm young, i work healthcare. I currently hold a part time position at a company I like where I can quite literally make my own schedule, as long as I put in at least 12 hrs a month. I have tons of down time, even when working there (It's EMS, if any of you have experience). I love it, but I've been looking into advancing my education since EMS is not a good career long-term due to low pay, poor insurance, and insane hours and workload.

I applied for a hospital job in the OR for full time to see if I can get my education paid for to advance to the position I want. I had a phone call interview, and they scheduled me for an in-person interview next week. However, the pay is at least two dollars less than what I already make, with similar poor benefits, and less flexible scheduling mon-fri 0530 to 1500. The commute is also 30 minutes, and while I've done worse at earlier times, I don't think I could do that for less pay, worse hours, and similar cruddy benefits.

My parents think I should still go for the second interview, even though I am less qualified for the position than other applicants and feel like the bad outweighs the good already. I feel a pit of despair about having to interview for a position I'm not really interested in, but I feel misguided. They said I should "get my foot in the door", but I'm not so sure, especially when most of that job will not benefit me other than *maybe* in a few years they'll pay for part of my education. Wouldn't it be smarter to just go to community college for the program and position I want, then apply to a company that has tuition reimbursement?

Sorry if i'm all over the place, I'm just very anxious and am having a hard time figuring out what I should do. My parents are old-school and encourage me to jump at opportunities, even if I truly believe they will not benefit me.

Hung up on ex from 3 years ago. It’s ruining my life.

I’ve done everything to try and forget this girl.

It’s reached a point where I’m not living at all. I wake up and distract myself until I can get home from work and take some sleeping pills.

I’ve never had good luck with women, and someone managed to get myself into a relationship with the most beautiful girl.

The relationship ended up being super toxic and more than likely got cheated on. They tried reaching back out but I stubbornly ignored the reach out.

I’m depressed. I feel cheated of a future. I feel naive for getting played and used for when it was convenient. It’s changed my view of relationships and people in general.

Ontop of all of it, I don’t have a career, slowly losing all my friends as they progress in life and I stay stuck.

There’s a girl who comes into my work who I’m thinking about asking out, if she says no, I’m giving up on all of it.

Absolutely miserable with the way I turned out. Nobody to blame but myself

I am frustrated at my mother somewhat, I (14M) not allowed to go outside alone in bright daylight.
IM not allowed to hang out with friends unless its in school (school is the only way i go outside in bright daylight and then again my mother accompanies me to school even though we have a 'driver' she comes with me anyway) im not allowed to stay over at any friends houses or even go to them in general.

I can't take a walk outside alone, even in daylight.

And its genuinely so frustrating, she thinks im gonna get molested and says 'everyone has bad intentions'
(shes somewhat old and was.. molested when she was younger since my grandma wasnt protective and was pretty relaxed and allowed her to go outside)
i live in the 14th safest country globally btw.

im genuinely so close to telling her to fuck off and that i dont care about her trauma but i know damn well im getting my ass beat if i say that.

Im in freshman year of highschool and have a 4.0 gpa, never suspended, school never called my parents for anything negative.

i dont even know what to do anymore.

I’m 18 and ending my first year of college. I didn’t do too well, academically I had a 3.4 gpa last semester but this semester I’m gonna fail a class. I feel really bad about it. Socially was worse, I didn’t make a single friend. I’m really depressed, I’m too ashamed to say it fully out loud to my actual mom and dad, they’re busy dealing with my dad’s worsening health issues right now. I feel so so lonely, I have since I was 12. It all feels impossible, even just getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, showering, going to class. I can barely do those things so making friends was basically a pipe dream. I’m in therapy, I have meds I for some reason can never take consistently, but it’s still all so fucking hard. I feel like I’m falling behind everyone else, that they have this magic I don’t. I feel like an alien most of the time. When does it get better? This is a stupid question because logically I know the only way for it to get better is to make it better myself. But by god it feels so impossible and out of reach right now. Really I guess what I’m asking is to hear from people who struggled like this when they were my age or in college, is it better now? Did you figure it out? I’m scared.

There's technically nothing wrong at home. In fact, I'm comfortable. They let me stay as long as I'm in college, and I've been in college since I was 21. College is not paid for, it's my responsibility. I've found ways to make it work so I'm in no debt. They don't ask me for rent, they just ask me to do chores and go through college. They currently have some apprehension because I still need to get a job as of this year, as I now need to find a job to make sure my college stays paid for. Before college I worked, then I went to full time college in the sciences, worked a little bit at the college throughout multiple semesters, and now I'm going to be part time college in a specific program that still allows me to graduate within my last 2 years guaranteed but also allows me to have time to work and make money. Until I get a "proper" job, I've taken to doing side stuff like commissions that'll keep me afloat, and have previously kept me afloat and kept stuff paid for. I have saved up a decent chunk of money just in case college starts and I don't have anything yet, and any extra money goes to the college fund too. It's all for college and I want as little debt as possible.

I'm a covid kid, my earliest adult years were during the pandemic. I never got my driver's license because for a very long time I had no reason to drive. Everything was within walking distance. I accept a lot of blame here, but I also partially blame my parents. Most of the time I ask to go driving, something comes up. If it's not about gas prices, something else is wrong and we'll drive another time. I do know how to drive, but I need practice in order to do the test and not immediately fail. I'm a highly anxious person when driving, so the more I'm not doing it the more I lose confidence. It takes time to build it up again. I could take that test right now, but I'd be a nervous wreck and that'd make me fail in of itself due to the small mistakes that'd come from it. My only option otherwise is to risk college and dip into those funds to pay a driving school. Anyone else I know irl is apprehensive about teaching me, understandably, because they don't want the possibility of something happening to the car.

Recently I got into an argument with my parents because of my current situation. They think I have no ambition and drive and don't actually want to work. The argument really opened my eyes. My distance to find a job is highly limited as my limit is the next town (and only one town, there's a couple of equally distant towns) over. This is completely fair and honestly more than I could ever and would ever ask for, my parents are wonderful in offering to make sure I have transportation to and from work. However, unfortunately, there's genuinely not a ton of openings for those nearby stores or work places. Most of the openings require specific degrees or are some type of management that I'd need to quit come fall anyway. I see a lot of openings elsewhere in the same exact distance in a different town that's just as close, but they're refused even if I pay for gas. Oh well.

I want out. Desperately. To the point where I would make a risky plan just to get my shit together at this point. The argument wasn't pretty, my parents said hurtful things to me even though I know they're coming from a good place, and I know they don't particularly care about how hurt I am, so I'm not going to make it a focus yet it's a point I feel like is important. But just like they told me they don't know how much longer they can keep me around and asked me if I want to be on the street, I don't know how much longer I can handle to stay. I feel like a runt, a failure, and so trapped.

I've struggled with mental health issues since I was in late elementary school, starting early on through puberty. I've been seeing counselors for this, and my mental health has drastically improved, but I have specific traumas that I have been fighting through for a long time. I know this has contributed to my situation, and while I have been actively fighting back against it I know it still affects me. I also know that my parents kind of just nod along and "sure sweetie... your mental health issues are real" through it, which makes specific things really difficult to talk about with them. Even if I just want to vent. I have been diagnosed with a couple of disorders and they do not know about this, because if I were to tell them it'd be another argument about how everyone is diagnosed with x y and z these days and it's not real and doesn't provide real struggles and everyone should just get over it. It does for me, though. I worry that maybe the argument kicked up something and that's why I feel like this, and I'm itching to see my psychiatrist, but I need to wait a week. Right now my mind is telling me to get out even if it's hard. Even if I stumble. Even if I need to dip into those funds.

Nothing is technically wrong with living at home. I know how lucky I am. I'm grateful, please don't misunderstand that. I know how stupid it looks to leave willy nilly and how insane it is regardless of plan. However... I'm starting to think this environment is harming me more than it's not in different ways, I've gained more resentment for my parents in different ways over the past couple of years. They don't treat me like an adult, but also why would they? I can't even leave. They see me as someone who just wants to play video games all day, when I just want out.

When they were my age they were already out and didn't have the option to stop and think about the next step, one of them already had kids. They have made it obvious that they are starting to grow resentment about this situation, because they've given me a ticket that they didn't have themselves. I worry about my relationship with my parents, it's clear they kind of wish I was able to, or already did, flee the nest. There's no mulling it over with my parents about this argument either, they pretty much require that they be right regardless of my opinion. It's their say so, which is fair, I'm not knocking it, but I know some people would say to talk to them about it when to them when after anything happens it's they said what they said and it's my problem however I take it and thus refuse to discuss further. Every time I have tried to, even just to tell them how I felt under a cooler head, I was often yelled at instead. Lol. They've done plenty of things that have destroyed my trust in them for specific things, forever.

I've talked to some friends. They have more knowledge about some things my parents have done (that are actually a big reason I seek therapy). Many of them say they would have already left regardless, have offered to help me make a plan, some of them even said they'd support me leaving and let me sleep on their couch for a while as long as I have a plan to follow through on and talk it through extensively with them, others say that no matter what it's too risky to leave because I would refuse to come back and likely wouldn't be allowed back in if I ended up on the street. I want to live my life, be independent, and expand my world past this house and city. It's not the first time I've felt like this, but right now it's stronger than it's ever been. Usually it's a passing thought, but right now I have a hard time not thinking about it.

I fear regretting the decision regardless of what I do. I feel like I'm going to regret staying but I feel like leaving has its own regrets. I'd have to leave things behind, because I don't think I'd be helped, and I'm pretty sure my parents would blow a gasket if I told them I'm moving out on my lonesome. I just feel so lost right now, more than ever in my life. I know I don't want and haven't wanted the current life I have and I feel incredibly guilty for it. It feels like trying to gun for the life I want requires huge leaps of faith that are high risk, because I'd still be relying on other people just in both different and the same ways. I don't know where the light is at the end of any of these tunnels or what to do and I feel like the entire idea of that alone is going to destroy me.

My mom re-married when I was very young . Since he was there for the majority of my life, I considered him my dad for a long time. He didn't raise me, but he supported my mom financially. My relationship with him was always rocky because he is an alcoholic (recovering) and gambling addict. Despite him earning a higher than average salary, we had to move several times throughout my life and were even forced to live in hostels and use food banks. In addition to this, my parents always argued so I never felt emotionally safe at home. Despite everything, my mother chose to stay with him. When I was 16, my stepdad forced me to get a job. He said it was to make me understand the value of money, which I was completely fine with at the time (I later realised it was for his own selfish reasons). I was really excited to earn my own money but unfortunately I couldn't find one for many years (not due to lack of trying). When I was 18 and moved out (I moved in to university halls), my relationship with my stepdad changed. I now had money (maintenance student loan) so he started asking me for loans every few days. This is because my mom kept his salary away from him and would instead send him small sums of money whenever he needed it. Of course, despite her sending him enough money for transport to/from work and food, she would question him any time he asked for more, which led to more arguments, so he felt it was easier to ask me for money instead. He would ask me not to tell my mother. Despite me knowing he was an alcoholic, he would tell me "it's for work" (he needs to buy tools for his job) or for food, and I always gave in. I was young and stupid. This kept going on for many years. Eventually, my mother confided in me that he was drinking daily and gambling the family's finances very regularly (plus, he wouldn't pay me back for months) so I started saying NO. The first time I said no, he lost his shit. He insulted me and called me selfish, etc. Around that same time I told him I was struggling with severe depression (medically diagnosed and medicated) and suicidal ideation. I thought he cared and I needed support. He is old fashioned and believes that depression is not real. During that argument, which started about money, he said I was lying about my mental illness for attention. For a long time, our relationship kept deteriorating but it hit the lowest point a few weeks ago when he demanded I treat him with respect (despite him disrespecting me and our family) "because I am older and I am your father". I was angry so I finally told him how I really feel: that I found it hilarious that he calls himself my father when he hasn't been acting like a dad to me for a really long time. That he hasn't cared about me or supported me. Since then, he has been ignoring my existence completely. It would be fine since I don't live with him but when I visit my mom (she misses me and asks me to visit her frequently), I struggle when I see him because despite me being civil and greeting him, he is being very hostile towards me. It's especially hard during celebrations when, for example, I wished him "Happy Easter" (we are Christians) and he didn't respond. I have already accepted that he is a selfish narcissist who doesn't care about anyone besides himself a long time ago, but I don't know why I struggle with being ignored when I visit my mom and the pets

A week ago I (25M) went to have dinner with a friend, or maybe classmate (31F), after classes and I decided to ask her out, to which she said yes.

For background, we've hung out after classes a few times already and everytime I invite her she always said yes. So she asked where to, and I gave her a place to which she said she'd like to, because she's never been. Then she told me she's free on monday and tuesday, I said I'll let her know tomorrow.

While we were walking back she even brought it up again and told me to message her to let her know.

Well I did, but it she left it on read and I feel so confused. It's obviously almost Saturday now and it feels illegal to even bring it up again.

I only saw her today at school but I was talking to someone else.

To be honest this has happened before when I did it via text. She replied two weeks later saying "sorry I just saw it, when are we going out?". I was not even in the country at that time, she didn't know this.

I feel like I should say something because it totally didn't sound like she was making excuses. At the same time it makes sense to just let it go and save me the embarrassment, but then again what if? Why not say "idk I'm busy" which will be super clear?

I just want to give it one more chance, this is too weird for me to just let go.

20m

I’ve lost most of my friendships over the years. I’ve never had too many, but the most brutal blow was being ghosted by my best friend after he told me he was tired of feeling like he had to fix me and no longer enjoyed the dynamics of the group. Didn’t tell me he was cutting me off though, I found out from a mutual friend after he stopped responding to my messages.

Another person has just stopped messaging me too. We’ve known each other for about 2 years and he had previously said he was tired of me cancelling plans but just stopped messaging or responding.

Another person cut me off last year because he felt like he and I didn’t really have a dynamic anymore and felt like he wanted to move on.

I now realise I am the problem. I have been acting like a victim for years and wallowing in my own misery. I’ve been told this by quite a few people.

The worst part is that I just feel so angry. I still feel like the victim. I don’t feel remorseful because I’ve convinced myself that I’m in more pain than they are.

I’ve had such a bad life. I grew up in an awful household and had no control. I was subjected to fear after fear and spent so much of my childhood crying or scared. I was shouted at for being sad/scared and just learnt to hide it. Household got worse and I became the ‘adult’ of the house when I was 13 after my abusive stepdad left and I had to pick up the pieces of my mum. She drank and had risky sex a lot.

I just feel so angry. My best friend who ghosted me has a loving family and so many prospects and he won. He won because he got to have what he wanted and I didn’t.

I’m stuck with mental illness and disability and am expected to put in 5 times the work just to be where everyone else is.

I don’t care how arrogant that sounds. I didn’t have time to worry about exams because I had to spend my nights being on guard so the men who came over to bang my mum wouldn’t hurt her.

I feel like I have no room to make mistakes. I feel like I’m expected to be happy all of the time and any time I’m sad or don’t want to do something I’m suddenly ‘leeching’ off of people or manipulating.

After my best friend ghosted me I was diagnosed with a heart condition after being rushed to the hospital believing I was going to die. I still had to go to work to a job I hated and still had to be responsible.

I was told by the mutual friend that he was stressed with his part time job and it was a ‘perfect storm’ for him. I just feel almost no empathy for him.

I feel almost no empathy for anyone. I feel like if I’m not the sickest or the one who’s struggling the most then I might as well not be struggling at all.

I can’t drink alcohol because of my heart condition and hate that it makes me more ‘responsible’.

I know I’m a bad person but I feel like getting better just admits that my struggling wasn’t real. I feel like my worst fear is losing and knowing all the people who cut me off are just better off without me. That terrifies me

Hi I’m 17 F and I recently got into a car crash. He didn’t want to share his insurance and did not talk to me. Ever since then I don’t want to do anything. I can’t do school work, watch shows, work in general. I don’t ever want to work or study. I miss when I had friends, like actual friends who I didn’t doubt were my friends. Even if in Quarantine they were online, atleast we talked all day. I connect with basically no one and no one cares to show up for me. I’m falling into depression and anger. I don’t care about studying or working, I don’t want to show up for anything. I don’t want the endless cooking, cleaning, working, studying to still struggle and have no social life or salary. I’ve given up I don’t want to work.

I'm not exaggerating when I say my coworkers call off once a week each, and it's part time work, and half of them are kids, and I'm not blaming them at all. Anyone who has been hired who is an adult is flaky as heck too. The job is retail and it sucks and doesn't pay enough.

But I'm also not exaggerating that when I get called in on my days off or asked to stay later, which happens 2-3 times a week these past 3 months, and I say no...

Someone's family member has died. Or someone suddenly has a medical emergency. Or Someone is getting a divorce. Or cps took their kid. Or their dog got run over.

So when I say no, simply because I don't want to, I look and feel like am asshole. But like, it's ALWAYS something crazy, not even just a cold or something. It's constant drama, constant crazy life shit, and I'm the opposite. I have nothing going on, no crazy shit, I keep to myself.

I just don't want to do it. I don't want to be there. I can't handle how much I've had to be around people and work lately. But how do I protect my own mental health when the one who will have to cover (the boss) has an objectively more stressful, crazy, drama filled existence?

I feel like I've got a five percent battery and I'm telling someone on one percent that I can't help. How do I keep dealing with this?

Edit: I also feel like it's really eroding my ability to care, because they're all having so much happening and I can't even make my face look the right way it's supposed to let alone express any real sadness. Someone's pet dies and I can't even muster an 'I'm sorry for your loss' and I just want to walk away and have them leave me out of it.

And I can't stop eating. These past two weeks I keep waking up wih rot gut from stuffing my face so much.

This is a question also phrased as a bit of a rant, sorry if it’s a bit all over the place. Are there genuinely normal families out there that aren’t crazy or have something ridiculously wrong with them? I’m not talking about a weird uncle, everyone has a weird close-ish family member. I used to think I was the problem in my family, but after a lot of self reflection and therapy I feel like I’m the only sane person and my expectations of a family are normal??

My parents are split but both are addicts and have the emotional intelligence of a toddler. I thought my partners family were normal for such a long time but everyone walks on egg shells around the dad, he has 1-3 screaming blow ups a year, and I dont mean for something normal, he screamed at me once when I got to the end of a hallway, he wanted to go to end I came from, but rather than passing one another he wanted me to go all the way back. It was so absurd I genuinely thought he was joking and laughed and stood there, which caused him to scream, swear and berate me. Otherwise they (including him) are a normal, loving middle to upper class family.

Another example, I’m eloping to get married. My partner and I hate being the centre of attention, crowds, are excited for a cheap wedding etc etc. My dad refuses to accept it and tells me he’s angry and upset over and over. I’ve acknowledged these feelings but I’m my own person and have never cared for society’s norms. Some of my other siblings are married and had a normal wedding he went to so I’m not an only child and he’s missed out.

I know arguments and frustration are normal even with a good communication style, but drug use, constant arguing, anger meltdowns, whatever major issue, can’t be normal for everyone?? Does anyone actually have a normal family that loves and supports one another? I’ve just given up with everything. I’ve always mourned a childhood I never got and the older I get the more horrors of family dynamics I witness, I just want some of my hope restored that normal people still exist please.

I’d love to go to my own mum about this stuff but she’s struggling more than me and I automatically try to handle everything I have done since I was a kid so don’t feel like I can share my feelings with her or it will just make her worse.

My oldest of 3 older brothers died last month, my mums a mess, the youngest of those 3 is a nightmare to live with. Always has been and has gotten worse since. He threatens to do stuff if my mum doesn’t give him money and obviously she’s panicking.

He refuses to get help at all and he’s a 6ft2 man me and my mum cannot force him to get into the car. My other brother shuts down and is just angry about his behaviour and they just argue.

Honestly just feeling lost on how to help and struggling with my own grief would love a friend or parental advice.

I'm not doing well. I've been diagnosed with BPD for a few years now, and I was learning to handle it. But recently, I've went downhill quickly. I have friends and people who care for me, but nothing seems to be enough to keep me wanting to be alive anymore. On top of the issues I already have, my father has been horrible recently and I had a traumatic incident with a male friend. I don't know what to do anymore. I think life is beautiful, but it doesn't seem like it anymore at night when I'm alone with my thoughts. I just want to finally be loved or leave. I'm in therapy and on medication, what are my next steps?

Sorry for the block of text I just really need to dump this somewhere.

I’m just really tired and it’s my senior year and I have a lot of work on my plate and I feel like I’m failing at school and my internships my boss sends me so many emails I can’t keep up with the work and they get lost and then they get turned in late and last night my laptop broke and she’s called me in for a meeting today to discuss my “progress” which can’t be good.

I just want to be done, I thought the hard part would be the onsite work but the stuff from my school is exponentially higher while I’m trying to manage my classes and graduation and I can’t tell my parents because my Mom will be devastated if I don’t graduate because she never got to go to college. Sometimes it just feels like nothing is going to get better and I’m fighting to get out of bed.