Normal family?
This is a question also phrased as a bit of a rant, sorry if it’s a bit all over the place. Are there genuinely normal families out there that aren’t crazy or have something ridiculously wrong with them? I’m not talking about a weird uncle, everyone has a weird close-ish family member. I used to think I was the problem in my family, but after a lot of self reflection and therapy I feel like I’m the only sane person and my expectations of a family are normal??
My parents are split but both are addicts and have the emotional intelligence of a toddler. I thought my partners family were normal for such a long time but everyone walks on egg shells around the dad, he has 1-3 screaming blow ups a year, and I dont mean for something normal, he screamed at me once when I got to the end of a hallway, he wanted to go to end I came from, but rather than passing one another he wanted me to go all the way back. It was so absurd I genuinely thought he was joking and laughed and stood there, which caused him to scream, swear and berate me. Otherwise they (including him) are a normal, loving middle to upper class family.
Another example, I’m eloping to get married. My partner and I hate being the centre of attention, crowds, are excited for a cheap wedding etc etc. My dad refuses to accept it and tells me he’s angry and upset over and over. I’ve acknowledged these feelings but I’m my own person and have never cared for society’s norms. Some of my other siblings are married and had a normal wedding he went to so I’m not an only child and he’s missed out.
I know arguments and frustration are normal even with a good communication style, but drug use, constant arguing, anger meltdowns, whatever major issue, can’t be normal for everyone?? Does anyone actually have a normal family that loves and supports one another? I’ve just given up with everything. I’ve always mourned a childhood I never got and the older I get the more horrors of family dynamics I witness, I just want some of my hope restored that normal people still exist please.