u/littlebabyfern

I'm not doing well. I've been diagnosed with BPD for a few years now, and I was learning to handle it. But recently, I've went downhill quickly. I have friends and people who care for me, but nothing seems to be enough to keep me wanting to be alive anymore. On top of the issues I already have, my father has been horrible recently and I had a traumatic incident with a male friend. I don't know what to do anymore. I think life is beautiful, but it doesn't seem like it anymore at night when I'm alone with my thoughts. I just want to finally be loved or leave. I'm in therapy and on medication, what are my next steps?