r/breakingmom

My husband and both my kids apparently don’t even look at or see me, I cut my hair today and it’s much shorter than it was this morning and nobody has said a word about it. It was like… boob length or a bit longer and now it’s shoulder length and like… do I even exist?

I don’t even care about receiving compliments or anything, i don’t expect compliments, I mean I cut it myself so it’s not some a-level hairstyle but it’s fine, I’ve been cutting my own hair for years.

But they just all didn’t even notice that my hair is drastically shorter than it was just earlier today. Feels bad.

That is all.

The title probably sounds so dumb. I had a realization awhile ago that for most of my life I’ve been having sex when I didn’t want to, but I chose to because of whatever reason it would give me the outcome that was best for me at the time.

Don’t want a cranky husband? Better have sex with him when he wants.

Don’t want your boyfriend to cheat on you? The least you could do is have sex with him when he wants.

Want affection? Better not turn him down for sex.

Want commitment? You should probably have sex when he wants.

All of the above is the subconscious calculations I was doing without really putting together that I didn’t want to have sex, but it was like the path of least resistance for me.

Does this resonate with anyone else?

This year I’ve really been trying to honor myself by not using sex when I don’t want to. And I don’t really ever want to! I think mostly because my husband is self centered and sometimes kind of gross hygiene wise (there is food stuck in his toothbrush daily and always dead skin and wax visible in his ears… he always “forgets” to wash his ears in the shower) but also he says gross things about sex and when I’m disgusted he acts like it was a joke and I’m a huge buzzkill. He gets pouty about sex and kind of passive aggressive about it.

He said to me a while ago after it had been two weeks without sex “do you even like penetration anymore?” And like wtf if he phrasing sex like that for. If he just phrases things gross IMO.

He also not talks about himself and is selfish with the kids and stuff. Like he’s definitely not the worst husband but all of this stuff is still such a huge turnoff.

Anyways, I’ve had sex with him a few times recently when I didn’t want to. Just to get him off my back/maintain the status quo. I fake an orgasm to get him to finish faster. I wish I could tell him this without it making my life 10x harder but it would, so I won’t. Because talking to him won’t change anything because we’ve already had this convo a million times.

I think having sex when I don’t actually want to is like, bad for my mental and physical health. Can anyone relate? It’s like I have to disassociate a little bit to get through it.

Yesterday he asked for sex at least 5 times. I held strong and said no because I just didn’t want to, and the more he pushed the less I wanted to. And then even later when I was off having my night to myself (the first in YEARS) he asked me for nudes several times. Like, what?

Idk ugh. Looking for solidarity or something I guess.

That's pretty much it. We had some messed up family dynamics as kids and she was always "supposed to" be better than me. Once a long, long time ago, when I had just had my first baby, she went on a pretty aggressive campaign to insist that she was a mom too because she had a dog, she was a "working mom" to my SAHM, she was single and doing it alone, dogs are exactly the same as children, etc etc. Just really trying to eclipse my journey into motherhood with her freaking dog. We eventually had it out and things got better, but the very abrupt about face from "my husband will be X and my kids' names will be Y and Z" to "Having children is stupid and my dogs are my children" really stuck.

So now I'm kind of chucking out a whole weekend to attend a wedding... Between her dogs. The one dog has a fancy dress that she's like, tailoring (because it has to be perfect), she's decorating the yard with intricate floral arches and stuff, she sent out save the dates, and historically it's been very, very important that I approach these things with dead seriousness.

And I'm gonna try... But what is my sarcastic pubescent nine year old going to say 😅

Hey, I'm the girl that posted about a lump in my breast found five months after my brother's horrific colorectal cancer death...

WELL! I did a mammogram and ultrasound... and they found nothing! Hooray!!! I guess good news still exists! Hope y'all have a fabulous day, and thank you for supporting me through my scream into the void.

The other day (Friday night) I was shootin the shit with my husband of 14 years and a [male] friend I have known for over 20 years. We were talking about how our kids wake up at all hours of the night. I mentioned how they always come to wake me up for whatever and never my husband. My friend had said something like “my kids go to my wife because I growl at them to go back to bed” and I said “I try to do that too!” And that’s when my husband shot himself in the foot.

“No you don’t, you’re always like ‘ok, it’s ok baby let’s go back to bed’ I hear you all the time you just did that the other night!”

What. The fuck. Do you mean. You. Hear. Me.?.?.?.?.

I was buzzed and 🍃 high so he thought I was being funny.

Don’t. Fucking. Laugh. You mean to tell me, you heard me get woken up the other night, meaning YOU HEARD the girl tell me she peed in her bed, and you just rolled over while I fought a fitted sheet in the dark for 15 minutes BY MYSELF? While she searched for PJs and underwear in the dark BY HERSELF? Knowing full well it would be done faster with help, knowing full well we might wake her sister, knowing full well the longer I stay up and the longer I keep this kid up, the harder it will be for us to go back to sleep, knowing full well I already have sleep deprivation problems to the point of needing midday naps and you and the kids buy me “funny” t-shirts about it, knowing full well that YOU ARE ALSO AWAKE and you just choose not to help me????????????????))?)?)

And what the FUCK do you mean “all the time,” like how many times are you hearing “mommy my nose is bleeding,” “mommy [kid] is crying,” “mommy I had a nightmare,” “mommy I frowed up” “mommy I’m firsty” “mommy I can’t sleep” over the course of TEN GODDAMN YEARS AND THREE CHILDREN (including the time before they could talk when they woke up every 2 fucking hours because of course the most tired mother in the world has children that don’t fucking SLEEP)????? And you hear all this and just “meh! Zzzzzzzzzz”

He tried me with “well whenever I do offer to get up with them you tell me not to!” Oh, the 5 times in the last decade??? Omg how inconsiderate of me. How about I got it because you don’t fucking say anything until I’m already out the door?? “Need help?” In a careless whisper as I am literally walking down the hallway to their room. Shut the fuck up.

The next day (Saturday) I was sobered up but definitely still mad. I told him so, I told him how fucked up it is that he knows I’m so tired all the time and have been since our eldest was in utero, and to find out he’s been pulling this on me for God knows how long or how many times, just to try to laugh it off…it’s messed up, considering I’ve cried so many times over wanting him to be a parenting partner with me, not some employee I call on or delegate things to. Whenever I cry (not often), he feels terrible and promises he will step up and does some big gesture to show he’s committed to doing better (like buying a mannequin head to learn how to do hair, oh wow look at you!)…only for that to last a couple days before he’s back to waiting for me to ask for help or assuming I don’t need it (he has not touched the mannequin head and this morning cut a hair tie out of a kid’s hair because he didn’t know how to take it out). This time he didn’t even say sorry. I pointed that out and now he for sure won’t say it, probably because he thinks I won’t accept an apology (I won’t, but that’s not the point, the point is to BE GODDAMN SORRY and even if you don’t want to say the words, hello, act like it, do something, be better). Instead of saying sorry, he cooked me dinner after I told him multiple times I wasn’t hungry. So we got refusing to listen because “he knows me” on top of all this.

He also asked me “ok going forward, are you actually gonna let me help if I get up or are you gonna tell me ‘go back to sleep I got it’?” I told him he had better not be teeing up a “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” argument against me. I said “[man], there are many times that I actually don’t need your help. Walking a kid back to their bed after a nightmare is easy. Changing a kid’s sheets and PJs after a nosebleed or pee or throw-up is not. If you hear that, you had better get your ass up. I’m not going to wake you up, you are going to get yourself up. I can’t believe I actually have to spell this out. And DO NOT try to tell me I don’t ‘let you’ help. You are a grown man and a father. I don’t have to ‘let you’ do anything, you either do it or you don’t.”

Now it’s Tuesday and I’m still mad 😭 To the point that I’m looking for marriage counselors because at this point I want to talk to someone to know I’m not losing my mind, and he’s not the one I want to talk to about it. I’m spiraling, like what else is he pretending not to notice, what else is he just too lazy/selfish to deal with and totally comfortable with me fighting for my life? How much longer is it going to be before I feel like we are carrying the same load? When they’re adults???????? I’m just so hurt right now, I’m actually surprised at how much this bothers me. I think it’s just the willful ignorance of it all, I didn’t think I married someone like that.

Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined how lonely motherhood would be. If I could do this all over again, I would not pick this. Mostly because there’s never any help or breaks.

A friend of mine has lived next door to her inlaws for the entirety of their marriage. They helped out quite a bit during her children’s young years. (She’s been married 20 years). A few weeks ago one of my twins was in the PICU for two weeks. I had no one to help me stay with my other twin so I could visit my baby in the hospital. I usually went at 10pm at night well after my husband got home so I could visit. My friend made all sorts of comments implying I’m a bad or neglectful mother for not visiting my twin as often as I should. I finally snapped at her “I don’t have help!”

I had one doctors appointment FOR MYSELF that I rescheduled SIX times because my mom kept canceling on me to come watch my twins for two hours.

Another friend of mine has a two year old. She has an older child as well. I reached out yesterday to see if her son could play with my son. Nope, she’s on a girls trip WITHOUT her kids!! Her mother stays with her kids. I met her through a volunteer job a few years ago, but I had to stop volunteering once my twins were born because, no child care.

Another friend of mine had a baby last year as well. Her mother and MIL took turns coming out to help her while she healed from a C section. I had a C section as well and even though they instruct you not to drive…. I was driving the day I was out of the hospital because I had groceries to buy, prescriptions to pick up, etc.

Yes my mom lives in town, about an hour away. But it’s pulling teeth to ask her to help me. And it’s not like I want to do anything like a lunch date, haircut, get nails done. No. I just want to go to the grocery store, or to my therapy appointments, or to refill my blood pressure medication. A few weeks ago I had a meeting at my son’s school because he’s struggling and we are considering holding him back a grade. My mom just cancels half an hour before. It was a meeting with teachers, the principal, these school “specialists” , like 6 people! The school let me do the meeting over the phone. And of course my babies cried the entire time in the background and I was barely paying attention.

Sure. I could PAY for help. Daycare. The kicker? My twins are NICU babies, extremely premature and have medical needs, stomach feeding tubes… a daycare won’t even take them.

So I’m home alone. And I mean really ALONE. My husband is out of town this week. Will get to go to dinners with colleagues, probably have drinks at some point. A full night of rest in a hotel. I’ll be at home, alone, with 3 kids, 2 of them infants.

My “breaks” normally consist of my husband watching my twins for an hour while I drive to Walmart, then sit in the parking lot for ten minutes before going in.

Why is this MY life!?!? I’m so fucking resentful I hate it. Sometimes at my husband, sometimes at my own kids, my mom, other women, God even. Like, am I ten years away from any normalcy?

I go to a mom’s group every Wednesday. They are nice moms. But everyone has eyes on me. I’m the only one with twins and there are around 30 women/moms. Everyone watches me struggle. Some offer a half smile of sympathy. Others a nod of pity. Others don’t even look in my direction.

Yes I know it gets easier. As my older son is 6 and is SO EASY. I hate that I gave up his easy/fun years in leu of starting all over with these medical needs babies, who are way far behind on every milestone, by the way.

Anyway. This post is way too long and I’ll probably delete it before I get hate messages from everyone. Thanks for letting me complain.

Kids are beginning to wonder when dad will deal with it. Dad says he was unaware I wanted him to deal with it and told him not to. No. I told him I don’t trust he won’t make a disgusting mess, contaminating everything nearby because he has no fucking common sense. Told him there was no way I’m cleaning it (on the very first day too).

It’s so gross and unattractive like he wonders why I don’t want to have sex with him like ever. Not only is the sex bad, he is gross, weaponizes incompetence. I’m no psychologist but I’m sure he is a covert narcissist type. Why would I get all revved up over someone like this?

He also uses weaponized incompetence when it comes to the laundry too. Or he’ll just outright ignore my suggestions for hang drying. I literally had to tell him to stop doing laundry except his own or the bath towels if he really wants to.

Part of the stupid laundry thing is that he gets to go off in a different room and sort socks while I’m getting screamed at by a cat as well

I’m not trying to shame anyone by any means. I was an angry parent but recognized it right when my kid turned 3 (bc we all know three is when they turn into monsters 😂). I yelled way too often but quickly realized I needed to work on myself because I remember the way my dad made me feel when I was young…getting yelled at all the time. And let me tell you, yelling only works till they’re preteens. If you don’t have your kids’ respect, they stop caring about you yelling and being angry by then and then you’ll be in for a real wild ride in their teens.

This came to mind because my dad keeps asking me for money (I made a post but deleted it because I responded to him), but telling him how I felt, even though I was nice about it, made me almost have a panic attack when I’ve only ever had a couple in my life that were driving related. I can’t even tell my dad how I feel because I’m afraid of his reaction and I’ve been an adult for 16 years…he hasn’t yelled at me in 16 years and I’m still afraid of that reaction.

So please…I’m still working on myself and I’ve come a hell of a long way, but if you find yourself being the angry parent, ***please*** do the work to get better. This was a wake up call for me to keep working on myself.

My 6 year old is so, so desperate for us to have another baby. My explanations that I am physically unable to have more children since I had my ovaries removed is deemed a very weak excuse. My plead that I emotionally, physically and financially cannot care for more children is pure rot.

So the other day as I was walking her to school, she gives it one more go.

Her: "Mama, if someone else adopted [Big Sister], would you have a baby *then*?

Me: "What?! Wha....what are you trying to do?"

Her: "I'm TRYING to be the big sister in the family!!"

Clearly we just haven't been thinking about this from all the angles. Just ship off my firstborn and crank out a baby!

Hi hello hey everybody. So I’m kind of in crisis mode and I need a little introspection from outside my immediate circle.

I lost my husband about 9 months ago to a terminal illness. He had 3 children by three different moms, but for the sake of the story, we’re focusing on the younger two 10F and 6M.

10F was the light of my husbands world. She was a daddy’s girl and this has been absolutely devastating for her. Her mom and I continue to have a decent relationship after the fact.

6M was conceived when my husband was getting sober from a drug problem and he was taken advantage of while he was incapacitated. I know, he obviously should have done a DNA test from the start, but this was before I came into the picture so I honestly didn’t know how up in the air it was.

BM of 6M has always been spiteful towards me, and it’s caused rifts in a lot of relationships. She used the kid as a means of control. The only way my father in law got to see the baby was because he babysat for her for free and bought her anything she needed. He gave her a car even.

Anyway, I digress. So my husband has been gone for 9 months and I’ve continued a relationship with 10F but obviously 6M BM wasn’t having any of it and I haven’t seen him.

My mother in law has always been doubtful about 6M, and yeah, she did a DNA test between her and 6M and what do you know? Comes back they are not related.

I’m pissed off that that lady took so much of our lives and made his such a hell for basically nothing. But what I’m most worried about now is 10F. My MIL said she wasn’t going to say anything but she was cutting him out of her will and stating the reason why. And she’s 75, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility it’s not gonna be a long time.

So basically, I wanna reach out with the knowledge to 10F BM so she can figure out how she wants to tell her. The information is gonna come out eventually, and I don’t want either one of them to be blindsided by this. But like, is it my place to even reach out and say anything? Should I mind my business and let things play out as they will? I just can’t stand the thought of 10F losing her dad and her brother.

Sorry for the extremely long and slightly ranting post. I’ve just been so lost anyway that this has basically knocked me sideways and I can’t seem to find my footing again.

After my husband's recent freak out about the 7yo saying "damn", I'm realizing that I've basically censored myself out of existence since becoming a mom. It's kind of embarrassing to think of swearing as part of my personality, but I did grow up in a swearing house. That's how I expressed strong emotion rather than yelling. Maybe that's the reason I'm a screaming psycho since having kids. I didn't even know how to raise my voice for the first 30 years of my life. Now I bottle everything up all day, every day until I blow up because I'm not allowed to ask "why the fuck is there a box of Apple Jacks in the bathroom?" and asking without that extra word just doesn't get the emotion out for me.

But it's not just censoring my language, it's the music that contains the language. It's the shows that would be too scary. It's the dark sense of humor. It's loving creepy stuff. It's the acceptance for gender expression, that becomes so much harder when you fear for your kids. It's the unending fascination with drugs (in more of an ex-pharmacy tech way than a stoner way). It's the style that no longer fits my body, or isn't practical when caring for young kids. It's the night owl tendencies that don't work for family life. It's the keto diet that I let everyone talk me out of during pregnancy, then didn't work with my kid's allergies.

I'm a blank slate, empty, boring, nobody. I am recently getting back to my diet now that kiddo is old enough and it feels safer to have allergens in the house. It feels like a first step, maybe?

First of all: the court system is congested and I had one divorce trial date struck and the next one set 6 months out.

We own property in a state neither of us live in. It was occupied by tenants at the date of separation. He wanted half of the rent without paying the bills, which are $2500. And I’m so glad I didn’t agree to that. Because things kept breaking in that house, and who had to fix them? Me. Who keeps telling my lawyer they refuse to contribute because I’m “unilaterally” managing the property? The STBX.

Tenants moved out over six months ago and I thought, maybe he will agree to sell now. Nope. He wants nonexistent rental profit (remember the things breaking? That included a $12k AC replacement), he wants spousal support, he wants all my banking documents going back to January 2021, he wants all sorts of non-germane discovery documents BEFORE he agrees to sell an empty property that he is not paying for at all.

I tried to play nice, I sent all the banking documents, but he kept asking for more.

My lawyer is drafting a motion for partition, but that will cost $5k. Plus due to my STBX’s obstruction we missed prime selling season in the region where the property is at. Gah!!!

He doesn’t pay any child support. He has paid nothing towards this house since separation. He just sits wherever he is at demanding all my documents while giving nothing. I am in $28k of credit card debt which has been floating my legal costs on credit cards while I pay for EVERYTHING else. I have started going to the food pantry, cut all my subscriptions, and stopped my voluntary retirement contributions.

I’m tired. I work two jobs, I’m a single mom to a tween, and it enrages me that he can sit across the country (where he moved voluntarily) hold things up and demand his “due” after not contributing to ANY joint obligations for three years while I slowly start to slip into a situation I won’t be able to dig myself out of.

For context, me and my partner are on the outs. I’ve been staying at my parents house during the week with our kid.

Well we went back home for the weekend for Easter, and on Sunday he wanted to keep Easter consistent with our kid (which I was fine with). Before going to my side of the family’s, he got me and our kid some flowers even though we won’t be home for many hours. We both said thank you, and a couple hours later of course the flowers wilted from being in the car. He takes that opportunity to get mad at me and tell me I’m a waste of money. How manipulative can you be, seriously? I mentioned that I hadn’t asked for flowers, and that you got them because you wanted to. And he didn’t like that, to him I was fucked up for saying that.

It’s like baiting me for an argument, that’s INSANE! I didn’t let it ruin my day though

I won’t make a big long post, but I do too much for my family. It’s making me miserable. One person can’t be everything for everyone.

I’m starting to have physical health problems and this past week my doctor told me I need to stop. I’ve developed so many health issues in the decade since I became a mom it’s insane. I’m depressed and feel like a shell of a person. I act like a bitch all the time, and I’m in a constant state of overwhelm. I feel like I could get a week long break from my family, and it wouldn’t do any good. I love my kids, but I hate motherhood.

Sometimes I think the solution is just to divorce my husband and hope to God he will do 50/50 custody like he has said he will in the past. That’s the only way I can see myself getting my life back to any extent. I recently started therapy, but I am so tired of being miserable every day.

We are married for almost 2 years, we have an 8 month old. It has been very rough on me not living close to my family and living with my in laws (all males). Yesterday we got in an argument over something small, he called me stupid so I did not have the best attitude and kept going back at him. Eventually he laid his hands on me and pushed me out of the room, I have all the bruises. He never apologized. I called his father (my FIL) and instead of defending me, he told all of us to move out. After 10 mins my husband and my brother in law just acting like nothing ever happened, they were laughing at car stuffs while I cried alone in the living room.

I feel lonely and isolated. The home always has fights between my husband, his brother and my dad. I want to move out but it means neither of them can afford rent and all have to split. Is this considered abuse if he was defending himself because i was yelling?

Moms who stayed and who left, please give me some advices. I’m very young, early 20s. I work hard and tried hard to keep the relationship together, this month I paid rent and insurance for both of us, give me spending money because he doesn’t have a job yet. I don’t know if staying until I’m financially better (I just got an amazing internship offer) means I’m weak and have no self respect or it is a smart thing to do until after summer so I can save up a bit more. But it sucks living in a home where no one is on your side no matter what happens.

Quick background: We are moving out of state tomorrow due to a job offer. I've only had a week to prepare.

My husband has been useless during this move. He has packed 1 box and he bought 3 boxes and was wondering why I was horrified that he only bought 3, 2 small boxes and 1 large. I've bought all the boxes. I've done a lot of the decluttering. I've done all the packing except 1 box. I'm even doing all the laundry and cleaning.

It was not supposed to be this way. My husband was supposed to be helping Sunday, Monday, today and tomorrow. But my husband decided to go look at a house we were thinking about renting on Sunday. He agreed he'd be back Monday night.

Nope. He decided he'd come back on Wednesday morning with my folks who are helping us move, so he can leave his car down there. Which. Yay. Great. I get to pack everything, clean everything. Nevermind I am also pumping every 2 hours and taking care of the kids and my needy needy needy cats.

Its been 2 days and it's honestly my own personal hell. I hate packing. I have half a mind to throw the rest out and start new because I cannot stand packing anymore. The kids are no help, they are too young to actually help. My youngest is waking every 2 hours. I am not sleeping, I am struggling to cook, and my back is going to give out on me. I am running on spite right now, because every time I think about my husband sitting down and relaxing with my folks (which he is because the house fell through), it fills me with enough fury to keep going.

But, I want to celebrate. Most of this house is packed. I have my son's room, underneath my daughter's bed, and the laundry and that's it. Fuck him for leaving, and also fuck yeah I don't need him. (I get that we agreed to this, but he left me all the packing. All of it. I swear, next move he can do all of it on his own and he can buy all the boxes. I plan to be just as ignorant and as useless as he's been this move. And if he texts me one more time, I feel I will lose it.)

I want to run a 5k. Honestly where i live, in my social circle, its crazy that i havent. But i really want to, i enjoy running, and i want to DO SOMETHING thats just for ME.

But like this entire winter my toddler has been in a sleep regression and both kids are sick constantly. More than any other year. So im genuinely asking the moms that run races or anything like that, how the fuck do you deal with the constant set backs? Its SO demoralizing and frustrating and then i HATE myself for caring at all and not just being happy to care for my kids when they need me. Which i actually do love. I love holding a sick little guy, but thats its own can of worms, because my PTO isnt great so i have to be very strategic in using it—because literally all my PTO is scheduled out to care for my kids on their various school breaks and theres very little wiggle room for sickness.

I need some advice…

Things have just been unbelievably stressful at this stage in life. I’ve got two young kids, aged 2 and 4. One is in preschool for three hours per day and the other I have full time .

I don’t get to do a lot by myself as my partner works 60 hrs per week and mostly travels except for once a month where they WFH.

I used to smoke hand-rolled cigarettes, but stopped when I got pregnant with my first and haven’t touched it since then, but I’m just so alone and stressed and unemotionally connected or connected with my partner in any way right now. I just need a breather and to take a break.

I don’t like smoking because I take my health serious; plus it’s an extra expense, and it smells bad and sticks to everything.

I just need some advice here; feels like I’m officially drowning in it all.

TIA.

I could have also tagged this one as "sad" bc I just feel at such a loss. My 3 year old (4 this summer) is having impulse control issues at school and does things like hitting kids with toys, throwing wood chips, or pushing. All different kids across the two 3 year old classes, never targeting a specific kid.

Is this normal? The staff makes it seem like its not. They said a few parents have complained. Is this because he's an only child and doesn't practice this stuff at home? We do tons of playdates and I dont know... kids are handsy. We don't WANT him to hurt other people, obviously. But like... I'm not physically there and I don't know how to keep this from happening. We talk about not hurting others, look how it makes them sad, etc.

The daycare uses a program called Conscious Discipline, which I don't know a ton about, but from what I gather, they don't have consequences except a "calm down corner." At home we use more firm consequences for things and that seems to be what he needs. He gets a firm time out or loss of privileges for undesirable behaviors.

This is kind of a ramble but I'm at a loss. Thanks for reading.

Help. Potty training is turning into pulling teeth. We tried Oh Crap bottomless method twice and both times were total disasters. This time (attempt 3) we finally just took pull ups away, went commando, and told him we use the potty now and started taking him at intervals.

He can stay dry for an impressively long time which makes this even more confusing. Eventually he will release, but usually only after sitting on the potty for like 20 minutes with a ton of coaxing, then rinse and repeat.

The biggest issue is daycare. They only sit them for a few minutes so today he had minimal success and a few accidents in his pants. When he got home, he peed his pants again and wouldn’t release before bed. Got his night time pull up and told us “I peed!”

I genuinely don’t know where to go from here. He clearly understands, talks about needing to use the potty, etc but the inability to release is ruining everything. We’ve tried all the usual tricks like blowing bubbles and relaxing him but it’s still a struggle.

I’m at a loss. I really do not want to go back to pull ups unless there is absolutely no other option. He’s almost 3 and needs to be trained for the preschool room. Is this something that can just resolve with time and practice?

Has anyone dealt with this specific issue with release and what actually helped? I need reassurance.