My sister's dogs are getting married, and it's turning into a whole thing, and I just... Yeah...
That's pretty much it. We had some messed up family dynamics as kids and she was always "supposed to" be better than me. Once a long, long time ago, when I had just had my first baby, she went on a pretty aggressive campaign to insist that she was a mom too because she had a dog, she was a "working mom" to my SAHM, she was single and doing it alone, dogs are exactly the same as children, etc etc. Just really trying to eclipse my journey into motherhood with her freaking dog. We eventually had it out and things got better, but the very abrupt about face from "my husband will be X and my kids' names will be Y and Z" to "Having children is stupid and my dogs are my children" really stuck.
So now I'm kind of chucking out a whole weekend to attend a wedding... Between her dogs. The one dog has a fancy dress that she's like, tailoring (because it has to be perfect), she's decorating the yard with intricate floral arches and stuff, she sent out save the dates, and historically it's been very, very important that I approach these things with dead seriousness.
And I'm gonna try... But what is my sarcastic pubescent nine year old going to say 😅