u/DragonfruitSea9880

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help. yes i posted this is a few other subreddits so please don’t crucify me if you’ve seen this already

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he was so emotionally attatched to this friend and still affected but him. It’s like this friends emotions determined my boyfriends emotions. even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently. He has expressed missing John, and even reached out to John, and he is acting hot and cold towards John. It’s odd because apparently my boyfriend asked John for space and blamed it on his panic attack, and now he’s tryin to be in John’s life again. One day he is wanting to hangout and sending him reels and the other he is completely ignoring John. It’s almost as if he wants him back but not too close. It’s like 5th grade stuff. I’m not sure what’s going on there. HOPING it’s just close friends with blurred boundaries. in my head realistically he genuinely could’ve just been close friends with john, and is into me.
I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush.

Also, I do realize he could be bisexual or any other label, but he certainly isn’t as into me as originally thought

TL;DR : my boyfriend is probably gay. admittedly to doing gay things, but said he’s “not gay anymore”. might be into his friend.

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help. yes i posted this is a few other subreddits so please don’t crucify me if you’ve seen this already

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he was so emotionally attatched to this friend and still affected but him. It’s like this friends emotions determined my boyfriends emotions. even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently. He has expressed missing John, and even reached out to John, and he is acting hot and cold towards John. It’s odd because apparently my boyfriend asked John for space and blamed it on his panic attack, and now he’s tryin to be in John’s life again. One day he is wanting to hangout and sending him reels and the other he is completely ignoring John. It’s like 5th grade stuff. I’m not sure what’s going on there. HOPING it’s just close friends with blurred boundaries.
I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush.

Also, I do realize he could be bisexual or any other label, but he certainly isn’t as into me as originally thought

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help. yes i posted this is a few other subreddits so please don’t crucify me if you’ve seen this already

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he was so emotionally attatched to this friend and still affected but him. It’s like this friends emotions determined my boyfriends emotions. even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently. He has expressed missing John, and even reached out to John, and he is acting hot and cold towards John. It’s odd because apparently my boyfriend asked John for space and blamed it on his panic attack, and now he’s tryin to be in John’s life again. One day he is wanting to hangout and sending him reels and the other he is completely ignoring John. It’s like 5th grade stuff. I’m not sure what’s going on there. HOPING it’s just close friends with blurred boundaries.
I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush.

Also, I do realize he could be bisexual or any other label, but he certainly isn’t as into me as originally thought

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help. yes i posted this is a few other subreddits so please don’t crucify me if you’ve seen this already

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he was so emotionally attatched to this friend and still affected but him. It’s like this friends emotions determined my boyfriends emotions. even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently. He has expressed missing John, and even reached out to John, and he is acting hot and cold towards John. It’s odd because apparently my boyfriend asked John for space and blamed it on his panic attack, and now he’s tryin to be in John’s life again. One day he is wanting to hangout and sending him reels and the other he is completely ignoring John. It’s like 5th grade stuff. I’m not sure what’s going on there. HOPING it’s just close friends with blurred boundaries.

I’m really not sure what I should do. I’m mad, i’m upset, i want to scream and yell at everyone and everything. Especially John. But i know those aren’t options. What are better options and choices for me to make? my mind is mush. Advice here would be beyond appreciated.

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help. yes i posted this is a few other subreddits so please don’t crucify me if you’ve seen this already

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he was so emotionally attatched to this friend and still affected but him. It’s like this friends emotions determined my boyfriends emotions. even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently. He has expressed missing John, and even reached out to John, and he is acting hot and cold towards John. It’s odd because apparently my boyfriend asked John for space and blamed it on his panic attack, and now he’s tryin to be in John’s life again. One day he is wanting to hangout and sending him reels and the other he is completely ignoring John. It’s like 5th grade stuff. I’m not sure what’s going on there. HOPING it’s just close friends with blurred boundaries.

I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush. Advice here would be beyond appreciated.

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help. yes i posted this is a few other subreddits so please don’t crucify me if you’ve seen this already

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he was so emotionally attatched to this friend and still affected but him. It’s like this friends emotions determined my boyfriends emotions. even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently. He has expressed missing John, and even reached out to John, and he is acting hot and cold towards John. One day he is wanting to hangout and sending him reels and the other he is completely ignoring John. It’s like 5th grade stuff. I’m not sure what’s going on there. HOPING it’s just close friends with blurred boundaries.

I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush. Advice here would be beyond appreciated.

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help. yes i posted this is a few other subreddits so please don’t crucify me if you’ve seen this already

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he was so emotionally attatched to this friend and still affected but him. It’s like this friends emotions determined my boyfriends emotions. even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently.

I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush. Advice here would be beyond appreciated.

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help.

i posted this on r/bisexual and got told it would be better suited here.

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he was so emotionally attatched to this friend and still affected but him. It’s like this friends emotions determined my boyfriends emotions. even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently.

I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush. Advice here would be beyond appreciated.

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help.

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he is so emotionally attatched to this friend. It’s like this friends emotions determines my boyfriends emotions and even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently.

I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush. Advice here would be beyond appreciated.

Hi guys college girl here i’m sorry i just really need help.

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he is so emotionally attatched to this friend. It’s like this friends emotions determines my boyfriends emotions and even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently.

I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush. Advice here would be beyond appreciated.

I made a post about this somewhere else and it got a bit of attention but i’ve since got a weird update.

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. He also said it’s not a big deal because it’s not like he’d date a guy or anything. But that he “used” to be gay and although he’s still struggling, God is doing the work and I was sent by God to help him out with being straight. He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months)

However, There is also a really close friend he has (we will call him John) who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. Like the week he started to pursue me, him and his friend fell out. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he is so emotionally attatched to this friend. It’s like this friends emotions determines my boyfriends emotions and even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Maybe this is jealousy but this has made me feel like im not enough for my boyfriend. This friend of his came to me before me and my boyfriend started dating (because we were all friends) and confided in me about how one night he had a pretty bad panic attack, and my boyfriend did a lot of back rubbing, arm tracing and hugging, and even attempted to cuddle him that night. John felt uncomfortable about it and didn’t know what to do. I told him i was pretty sure he was just trying to find ways to comfort him. With this new information though, I see it differently.

I’m really not sure what I should do. And my mind is mush. Advice here would be beyond appreciated.

I am a woman, 20 in college, and my boyfriend is 22. We’ve been dating for about 4 months now. I spent the weekend at his family’s house for easter, we’ve spent multiple nights together (no sex) but we kiss a lot and he buys me flowers and gift a lot, and we pretty much see eachother every single day.

My boyfriend is going away to be a counselor at a church camp for the summer where he won’t have his phone, so we switched phones to type out as many cute notes to eachother in the notes app that we could think of, so that I could see them when I miss him, and any situation where he gets to use his phone he can see them. I was looking up a synonym for the word “lover” and went to safari and i was shocked to see gay porn. I didn’t even say anything I just turned the phone to him and showed him. He immediately starts crying and shaking and telling me “i’m not gay i swear i used to be gay but im changed now”.

He got pretty honest with me about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, and that some of them look like women so it’s “not really gay.” He also told me that he usually blocks them after a few weeks and moves on to other ones (which i found really fucked up). The last thing he told me was that “guys are easier than girls so that’s why I do this”. I didn’t yell, i didn’t argue, i just listened and then told him I love him but i need some time alone to think. I feel like the answer is obvious, but before I do anything drastic, i need advice on what to do. He said he’s still struggling to change and he has jerked off to gay porn multiple times while we’ve dated. He’s denied talking to guys while we’ve been dating these past 4 months but I don’t know if i believe him since he’s been watching gay porn while we’ve dated.

There is also a really close friend he has, who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he is so emotionally attatched to this friend. It’s like this friends emotions determines my boyfriends emotions and even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly. When they were friends, I noticed every hug that he had with the friend, his hands would linger on or above the friends waist for a few seconds after the hug. He even wrote him a big apology letter (that i didn’t read) to try to become friends with him again. Not sure if this is anything.

i need guidance here. i need help. thanks.

TLDR: Found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. He admitted to it and admitted to talking to men sexually online (not during our relationship). Not sure where to go from here.

I am a woman, 20 in college, and my boyfriend is 22. We’ve been dating for about 4 months now. I spent the weekend at his family’s house for easter, we’ve spent multiple nights together (no sex) and we pretty much see eachother every single day.

My boyfriend is going away to be a counselor at a church camp for the summer where he won’t have his phone, so we switched phones to type out as many cute notes to eachother in the notes app that we could think of, so that I could see them when I miss him, and any situation where he gets to use his phone he can see them. I was looking up a synonym for the word “lover” and went to safari and i was shocked to see gay porn. I didn’t even say anything I just turned the phone to him and showed him. He immediately starts crying and shaking and telling me “i’m not gay i swear i used to be gay but im changed now”.

He got pretty honest with me about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, and that some of them look like women so it’s not really gay. He also told me that he usually blocks them after a few weeks and moves on to other ones (which i found really fucked up). The last thing he told me was that “guys are easier than girls so that’s why I do this”. I didn’t yell, i didn’t argue, i just listened and then told him I love him but i need some time alone to think. I feel like the answer is obvious, but before I do anything drastic, i need advice on what to do. He said he’s still struggling to change and he has jerked off to gay porn multiple times while we’ve dated. He’s denied talking to guys while we’ve been dating but I don’t know if i believe him.

There is also a really close friend he has, who he had a massive fallout with right before him and I started dating. He refuses to talk about it, but he has a message asking that friend “are you into me” and when the friend said no he followed it up with “just joking haha”. But he is so emotionally attatched to this friend. It’s like this friends emotions determines my boyfriends emotions and even after the fallout, whenever they are in the same place my boyfriend stares in his direction constantly.

i need guidance here. i need help. thanks.