r/women

Recently, I felt like I was ranting too much to my boyfriend over womens problems, so I came onto reddit (this subreddit is one of my favs, you guys are so nice) and ranted about my own personal thoughts, opinions and experiences. I've noticed the people here are so nice.

Also, i dont have a problem with men replying to my posts and dropping their opinions either. Everyone deserves a say in things, and I'm aware some men are active here because they want to learn more about women, some are from female-dominant families etc.

My problem is the fact that I've noticed alot of annomynous accounts shame women, downvote them etc in my replies for voicing their own experiences and opinions. I don't mind if you downvote someone, its not my business. But why would you automatically go into "debate mode" and argue whenever a woman is discussing their problems?

It feels like some people arent here to understand women, instead they’re here waiting for something to debate against. If you dislike women, why are you spending your time in women-based subreddits getting angry at posts?

I would definitely label myself as an optimist, and I try to see light in every situation. But i cannot bring myself to see the light or positivity in a man who dislikes women lurking in a woman-based subreddit. Its not good for your mental health or the people around you, and women here probably do not want to talk to men who hate women. (duh, its a woman-based subreddit)

This isnt a rhetorical question by the way. I am genuinely curious as to what goes through these peoples heads.

DISCLAIMER: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DISLIKE HER AND HER MUSIC. I dont mind. Im not a diehard fan.

I was a Chappell Roan fan as soon as I heard the song Casual (if you havent listened to it, you should. Its really good). I wouldnt call myself a diehard fan or defender, I couldnt care less if you love her music or hate it but i wanted to talk about the controversy.

Recently, a famous footballer came forward and said HER security guard got upset at their child for wanting to talk to Chappell Roan. (I think his name is Jorginho). Basically, Jorginho posted a statement claiming that his child had been harassed by Chappell Roans securty guards for simply smiling.

Chappell Roan came forward and posted a video basically saying "That was not my security guard, my security guard was not with me and I had no clue this even happened" (You can still find the video on the internet)

Everyone made memes saying that Chappell Roan would harm children, going as far as to roleplay and act out Chappell Roan harming children, posting these videos to social medias like Tiktok and Instagram. This the problem. You are allowed to not believe Chappell Roan, you are allowed to dislike her, but the problem is the fact that half of these people dont speak up about abusive male artists and theyre acting like Chappell Roan is evil.

Around a week before this controversy, Chappell Roan asked the paparazzi to leave her alone, obviously the internet did their thing and demonized her, they said she was insanely rude to "fans", they said she goes out of her way to harass her fans etc. Since when was paparazzi considered fans???

Alot of people are getting insanely angry at Chappell Roan for this, but i never see these people get this angry over abusive male artists/celebrities who have proven allegations. Even if the internet acknowledges an abusive male celebrity, he becomes a meme for months. (P Diddy, Chris brown, etc)

Honestly I feel like I've given up. I cant even get mad at this stuff anymore, i feel like everyone jumps to conclusions because they desperately need a reason to hate a successful woman.

Obviously nOt aLL mEn but so many look at hormones like they’re just a myth. Same with depression. Nevermind the fact that hormonal changes can even cause depression and other mental issues.

This happened a while back but I was just thinking about it for some reason a minute ago. My bf saw I had a period tracker on my phone and acted like I was so weird for it. “You have a TRACKER on your phone for your period??!”

… yeah. You fuckin idiot. I said “the first thing a doctor will ask a woman in the exam room is when she had her last period. A lot of things like hormone levels dropping can be explained.” And he just looked at me like I’m crazy and don’t know what I’m talking about lmao.

I just wish sometimes they’d make even the smallest effort to study us, our anatomy, what changes when we age, etc.

Wanna know why I’m crying so much or nit picking? Wanna know why one minute I want this food and the next I hate it? Wanna know why I feel lethargic all of a sudden? Wanna know where these stress knots are coming from? Why I’m so tense?

A lot of these things are due to hormonal changes but they act like we just make that up or use it as excuses for our anger/sadness/energy dropping.

IT IS A FUCKING EXCUSE.

And they don’t even realize their own hormones. Again, they act like it’s a thing only women deal with… even tho it doesn’t exist.

So I recently decided that I wanted to get over a guy that nothing ever happened with and decided that I'd try to get myself out there and do casual stuff. I'm not someone that gets attached in general and really value my privacy. Weirdly, every guy I've swiped right on has ended up unmtaching after I reveal, early on, that I'm seeking something casual.

I'm average in appearance and wear little makeup, but I obviously make an effort. I get approached regularly. So I'm certain that's not the problem.

Am I on the right track of thinking that this has something to do with men needing to feel in control? Because they come on heavy love bombing and telling me their mom would like me, etc, and when I tell them I'm not comfortable with all those things and only want casual, they don't even treat me like a human anymore. They literally start talking to me like I'm a prostitute. Like the last guy I talked to tried to meet up less than 5 hours after matching on a weekday and I said whoa that's too fast and he immediately unmatched.

I've never done anything sexual before and I'm not interested in any romance. I'm starting to feel like this is to my detriment. Like it seems like men almost need romance, or the illusion of it, more than I do. So that it's like they feel they have a bargaining chip over my head or something, except I've taken it away, and now they don't want me.

What am I doing wrong? Like I mentioned I'm average in appearance. I am not ugly. I get approached all the time in person. Online dating where things are less personal seems to not be working, even though men are well known to not like when things are personal, so you'd think they'd like it this way. This is how I'd prefer to meet people right now but it's just not working.

I'm so confused. I also feel demoralized or like I'm the one in the wrong or a "bad woman" for wanting casual and being detached in a way that's not "standard" for women. Like I feel judged. Idk.

I recently lost my 2 year old daughter and have a 7 month old baby and just found out I am pregnant. I bought the abortion pill from aid access and am scared to take them for my health and also for religious reason. I’m scared I’m going to regret it either way. I don’t want to go to hell, but I emotionally don’t feel like I’m ready for another baby . What should I do.

My first grasp: They dont know what feminism means. At all. They think feminism means women hating men. These are the men that comment “lets stop gender wars!” on videos where women are talking about their personal experiences with weird men. (mind you, women have been experiencing these “gender wars” for thousands of years)

Even if feminism meant women were above men, theyre “scared” or “mad” because they view themselves as superior and enjoy putting women in their places. If women were above men for any reason (example: they were favoured because they created life), they see it as oppression, because they’re losing their grasp on the only form of hierarchy they can feel. So I always let these people know that they wont be effected by feminism in any way if they are a man.

My second grasp: They know what feminism means, but they view equality as oppression. This is because men believed they were superior for years, they fully think its “okay” and “natural” to objectify women and treat women lesser than them. If these feelings were taken away, they’d obviously be angry. Its an insanely childish mentality.

MEN DO NOT LOSE ANYTHING FROM FEMINISM. If you are generally a good guy, feminism wont effect your life whatsoever. If feminism is put in place everywhere, women will be equal to men and both sexes would have equal rights. (but thats in a perfect world, unfortunately women are being oppressed everywhere.)

Alot of men seem to believe that feminism takes something away from them. Whenever i debate a man about how feminism negatively effects him, first i educate him. I tell him that feminism is the equality of females and males (and much more) and if he still doesnt change his opinion, I ask him why it personally effects him if women are equal to him.

99% of the time, they cant answer.

What are your thoughts on anti-feminist men? These are mine from personal experience.

I know I am 16 nor do I have a job. But on the internet I am seeing that ALL FEMALE BOSSES ARE BAD

I was like wtf?

because not all women are bad bosses .

My mom herself is a manger and she is good. Her bosses like her and her teammates ask their question to her and even if you apply for a leave she will grant it just ask her first or email her.

In the gym today a gen z (female) who works told me she had a female boss and she was nice to her (at that time she was a junior) so it's a bad stereotype.

I know bad female bosses exist. BUT they're are good ones too. Not all women are bad

I know people have their own life and saw diffrent thing.

but this feel misogynistic to me.

same with male bosses ..not all male bosses are bad just like not all male bosses are good.

it's a personality or characteristics thing not gender thing

and if one day I am a manger or boss I will be nice to my employee it's my job ..I will do my job and help other to the best I can and go home.

Have a nice day ❤️

hi guys,

this is just a silly post. i’m a short averaged sized woman but my chest (34D i think?) feels so big on me. i feel like my breast size is proportional to my body size, but it still feels so big to me. main thing is: i absolutely HATE being braless, unless i’m wearing clothes that hold up the girls a bit for me.

after a shower, they feel sooo heavy. i walked over to my bf and told him that i feel like a birthing cow when they are just hanging there. he responded endearingly to me and said not to think of it that way, and that’s just how natural breasts are.

another thing: i also feel like i look too promiscuous if i show them too much.

ik this is so random but i just felt like sharing 😭

so i went to the bar last night. i went alone, ive been stressed lately and just wanted to have a drink, read. im 23, i know my limits. drinking isnt a new thing for me.

within maybe half an hour of my first and only drink, i felt hammered. it was a sangria, which ive had plenty of times. i had a couple sips.

it was never left unattended, and was always in front of me. it was never busy either, so the only people i know touched it were myself and the bar staff. it was super quiet at the bar as well.

it usually takes me 4-5 drinks to get this hammered. i’ve drank a whole bottle of sangria in one night, and that came close ish to what i felt last night.. but last night was worse.

i feel like i blacked out. i can’t remember much. i kept drinking so much water but nothing helped. i got home and shook the whole night, had the spins, felt awful. i have the worst “hang over” today.

does this sound like a roofie? i feel.. violated? thinking it was.. i don’t get why people are like this. i don’t know that i’ll ever drink alone again.. kinda scary. i’m glad i was able to get myself home safe.

Lately I’ve been feeling really disheartened by the state of the world. As a young woman, the constant presence of war, daily misogyny and violence feels overwhelming. It’s hard to hold onto hope when so many women experience harassment and assault, even online, and the gender pay gap still exists. Women shouldn’t have to feel afraid to go for a walk when it’s dark.

At the same time, basic necessities are becoming harder to afford and there’s this constant pressure to conform to expectations about family and life paths. It feels like no matter what you do, you’re being judged and not taken seriously. Sometimes it feels like I have to work five times harder just to be taken seriously. And even then, the same opportunities don’t seem as accessible compared to men. It's really frustrating.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. First 1 year and 1/2 we lived close. Now I’ve moved from my parents to continue my studies. I’m now 3h away from him so we can’t see each other often. I’m mostly the one that comes to visits him since he works all Sundays he can’t really come for the weekend. I also come to see my family. Even when I come back, we barely see each others a few hours. We really don’t have the same schedule so we barely text too. I have school in the day and he works. He goes to sleep early and wake up early. I’m a night person, I go to sleep around 3 and sleep until 11 minimum.

Im here for easter and he didn’t even invite me to his family things. He just told me he had those so we wouldn’t be able to see each other those days.

I just feel like we’re getting far away from each other even in our relationship. I feel like he doesn’t love me like in the start. He tells me he loves me every night before going to sleep, but it just feels like a habit to me.

A new girl joined at work . she’s beautiful, smart, and really good at what she does. She naturally gets more attention, and for the first time, I find myself feeling jealous. I’ve never felt this way before, and it’s affecting my confidence. Also, I like a guy at work, and I keep thinking he’ll probably like her when he sees her… and that makes me feel like I’m not enough. 💔

I have very bad acne and strawberry legs. I want to start taking care of that but I have no clue what's what. and hopefully nothing too pricey😬

I’m engaged to a man I’m really attracted to. We’re long distance and have only met a few times, and we’ve chosen not to go beyond holding hands because we want to stay “clean” until marriage. We definitely feel sexual attraction toward each other, but we don’t express those thoughts.

On my own, I do experience sexual feelings and touch myself, but I’ve never been able to orgasm. I’ve tried different methods and nothing seems to work. I’m new to all of this and wondering if I’m doing something wrong.

Would really appreciate advice, even detailed—just trying to understand my body better

i (14f) got my eyebrows waxed for the first time today and i was pretty happy about it, I was very satisfied, but them my mom said were going to Walmart I was a little pissed but that’s okay, so we went to the make makeup section And Next to the makeup was fancy body stuff like body butter body shimmer, since my mom was talking forever picking between shades I went to the isle with the body stuff, while I was walking I looked behind me, this big dude was at the beginning of the isle Looking down.

it felt weird, and I don’t know how to describe it, I know I might sound paranoid or like I was assuming stuff but I truly didn’t know what he was looking for, if he was looking at me, or something in the isles. I ended up conniving myslef that he was looking for something, I walked back to my mom and stayed there for a few minutes.

I ended up working up to go back, there was a body butter I wanted to look at and skin care. But while was walking up and down the isle the same guy came back looking the same way, just down the isle and I got the same feeling but then he walked away after I shot him a look. I just wanted to see if any one has experienced this as well :/

Most men won't speak up if another man is acting predatory towards women, most men do less of the household chores and/or childrearing, most men have participated in behaviors that are AT LEAST adjacent to rape/coercion, most men watch porn, etc.

Do you think that all women should hate all men and avoid dating or befriending them, for their own sake? Should we distance ourselves from the men in our lives too, since they likely do/have done at least one or some of the things above..?

I’ve had no life style changes, not on BC, and I’m in my mid 20’s. My period started 3 days early (normal for it to be 1 day early or 1-2 days late) and I’m still spotting after 8 days. My period typically lasts max 7 days and by the 7th the spotting is barely noticeable. Should I be concerned?

Edit: Forgot to mention that a month ago I had UTI symptoms with high white blood cells but tested negative for a UTI at the doctor.

I’ve been having sex with my boyfriend for about 3-4 months now and the sex itself is great. He’s attentive and caring and all around a good sexual partner. There’s three issues/concerns that I have.

1. How long it takes me to cum. He hasn’t complained about it but I get worried that I take too long. Especially when I cum in like 5-15 minutes by myself and it takes me 20-30 minutes to cum during sex. He reassures me that It’s not an issue but I can’t help but to get in my head about it which only makes me take longer

2. I can only cum with a vibrator. We’ve tried multiple times to have sex without it and I just can’t. We’ve even had sex for 2 hours straight and nothing. I’ve gotten really close on multiple occasions it just feels like there’s something wrong and I can never get over the edge.

3. I have to use mental visuals or I have to listen to his voice in order to cum. The only things that can get me to finish is using my imagination or when he’s talking to me. I’m not sure if this is an issue but I feel bad for not being able to stay in the moment sometimes and I’m not sure if this is normal.

Disclaimer: I’m still fairly new to sex with this being my second sexual partner and I’m unsure how much of this could be considered normal and what I could do to improve or fix some of these issues. I’ve talked to him about some of these concerns, maybe not as in depth, but he says he’s willing to do whatever he has to do to be a good partner.

I was raised in a highly religious, high shame environment. My whole life I’ve felt like I’ve had to bend over backwards to be understood or heard or even just listened to. I waste so much emotional energy trying to please and understand people I care about in my life who have never done the same for me especially in areas where they haven’t experienced the things I’ve gone through, or have some kind of moral qualm about how things made me feel, or don’t understand how hard it is to be a woman in a deeply and inherently misogynistic environment.

It’s so engrained that the other women in my family think it’s okay or the way things are supposed to be. I’ve spent years trying to get them to understand even little parts of myself but I get ignored or emotionally attacked. I’ve spent years deconstructing my faith and my beliefs and I’m at a point where I finally feel like I’m not some kind of mistake that “God” made only to hate.

I’ve had realizations recently that have led me back to the words of Jesus (apologies to anyone who doesn’t subscribe to/disagrees with using the bible in any case which I completely understand, but I still sometimes find comfort in many of the words of Jesus and do not take with it the other more harmful themes and ideas present). I recently read Matthew 7:6, for those unfamiliar it goes as follows: “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

Regardless of its original intended meaning, what it means for me now is this: I’m done trying to be seen and understood by those who will not ever. No amount of effort on my end will ever make people who don’t want to understand me do so magically. I believe that myself and others were made lovingly and for a reason and I refuse to waste my time and energy on people who don’t see that.

I’m queer, I point out harm when I see it not to shame but to repair, I acknowledge my own mistakes without shame but instead correct them and move on and improve and grow as a person. I’m proud to be a woman and I refuse to believe I or any other woman is the “weaker vessel” none of us are. I refuse to hate myself for the very things I love about myself and I refuse to put my energy into trying to fix the people who made me feel like I should.

You are worthy of love and care and understanding, we all are. Do not waste your breath trying to fix people, use it to love yourself and the people who are truly worthy