r/Advice

I really do want to and it's making me feel so guilty. I used to really really love him.

So, me and him have been in a relationship for 8 months now and this is my first relationship and his as well. We used to do good I think (or maybe I was too blind to notice the signs) but since about 4 months he started treating me weirdly - he barely talks to me and every time I talk he doesn't listen or just switches the topic and starts talking about something he wants, which now thinking has been like that even and before we started dating. He also pressured me into a lot of sexual situations which I told him I wasn't comfortable with since I really didn't want to engage in that at that moment but I still did because he would get upset even if he said he's fine and "consent matters". We don't text throughout the day and it's only me who texts in the evening so we have a small conversation. If I don't text, he won't either. 4 months ago when I started noticing all this more than usual he found a new friendgroup who are people I have known since a lot of time and let's say they don't really like me. And one day when we were supposed to go out he made me go with his friends who were acting extremely weird in public and blasting some weird music in a public park which was extremely humiliating for me and I left earlier. He never thought he had made me uncomfortable even though I told him. I don't think they have exactly brainwashed him into all this but they definitely have an influence over him.

I really don't know what to do but I really do think I am losing feelings for him and also I have been feeling disgusted by his physical touch. Should I break up with him? (And yes, I have talked to him about those things that make me uncomfortable and he didn't take them into account.)

hi! i’m 17f, just got hired at a job i’ve wanted for a while. just fast food nothing special. anyway, when i had my interview i noticed a male employee, maybe 40s - 50s? and he weirded me out off rip. immediately i got a sinking gut feeling but chalked it up to nerves or paranoia. then, a week later was my orientation. again he’s the one who lets me know someone will be there and he says “welcome to the team” with the most weird and uncomfortable tone. all this while he eyes my chest area. today was my first shift and let’s just say i’m trying not to quit over this. first and foremost, he called me kid all day. at first it calmed me down and made me realize maybe he sees me as just that, a kid. that was until he belittled me my entire shift. he wasn’t even my trainer but gawked at my every move and laughed if i made a mistake. he basically told me the obvious all day and used it as a reason to speak to me.

anyway that is tiny compared to him basically groping me for lack of a better word. forgive me for being unsure, but i couldn’t tell if it was his groin against my rear end or his hand but regardless i immediately wanted to cry. it was quick, but we weren’t busy at all and he had plenty of space to walk through. he also didn’t say “excuse me” or do any kind of gesture that indicates any a of what happened. i also want to add that when we converse he either makes never ending and uncomfortable eye contact or won’t look me in the eye and looks at my chest instead.

also this is weird too my friend coworker who ik outside of work told me that our manager, a woman was telling the crew to beware because i was pretty but a minor? also why even comment on my looks when im here to work for you. like what kind of announcement is that?? idk. is this all anything normal? even the management acting like that is making me feel put off. why would you even hire people you’d have to warn to not hit on a minor? or anyone for that matter?! what should i do about this?

this probably sounds so obvious to everyone else, but i never know what’s “the real world” vs actually smth no one puts up with.

One of my friends ( who I slept with a couple weeks before he left) is in prison. He asked one of his friends for my number so he can call me while he is in there but I told his friend I wasn’t sure if I want to be getting calls all of the time. I have some other mutual who said he just calls them like 4 times a day and I do not want to do that. Am I an asshole for not giving him my number? Do you think I should write him a letter instead maybe? This is a weird situation I have never been in lol. Also we weren’t really even like that good of friends that talked all the time I saw him maybe 3 nights a week out at the bar or pool nothing crazy.

Edit: thanks for some of y’all’s advice! I definitely am just gonna write him a letter instead. Nothing crazy i don’t wanna be stuck paying for nothing lol. But been friends with him for years so I think it’s the least I can do.

I (F34) have been with my partner (M33) for 6 months, and he has been searching in google for teen porn. I just need some advice on whether that is normal? We’ve been together around 6 months. I just feel like it doesn’t sit right with me as I have a 15 year old daughter. I mean I think it’s weird & tbh it’s put me off him & im disgusted, I haven’t brought it up to him yet as I know he’ll only deny it anyway.

a few days ago, i found out by complete accident that i’m adopted, i wasn’t snooping or looking for anything, i just came across some old documents while helping clean up at home, and something felt off. after putting pieces together and eventually confronting my parents, they admitted it was true.

the thing is… i genuinely don’t know how to feel.

part of me understands why they might’ve kept it from me, especially if they were trying to protect me or didn’t know how to bring it up. but another part of me feels deeply hurt that something this huge about my own life was hidden from me for 24 years. now i keep replaying memories in my head and questioning things i never questioned before. even though my parents are still the people who raised and loved me, something emotionally feels different now and i can’t explain it.

i also feel guilty for even being upset because i know a lot of adopted kids grow up wanting loving parents, and i did have that. but at the same time, i can’t shake this weird feeling of betrayal and confusion.

I m 16. Me and my friend went on a trip where he didn't bring any money. We had an understanding that he would return the money afterwards. But now he is only stalling it.

Now, After the trip some of his stuff (phone charger, empty wallet) has been left with me. Should I use this as a leverage to get back my money?

Basically, Money first, Stuff later....

But now he has slowly started spreading a bad word about me in his friend circles.... I know if I give back his stuff without the money first then he would keep stalling it forever.

I don't own the money... It's my parents who do.

My parents asked me to not make a big deal of it and just leave it.

I have also tried to stall from my end saying that I m not in home so come later to pick up stuff

so I’m single feels like dating apps no normal guys message me or some just want hook up.… I don’t want kids so it’s harder to find a guy also because of that..(some assume im shallow because I don’t want but it’s just not the lifestyle I want)I’m alone in a city and have no family or friends here, all I do is work and workout a lot but still despite that many strangers are so rude and mean to me I don’t know why… and my job is toxic and I work as an executive assistant the city I live is expensive so I have roomates and I just feel like there is zero joy in my life beside my fitness. I feel alone. I’m also introverted so don’t know how to socialize either.

This is my first time ever making a post on reddit because I honestly don't know what to do. I cant talk to my friends about it since My gf wants to keep what happened to just me and her. I tried asking AI for advice but all I got was bullshit solutions that don't directly help our situation.

Im from the philippines (16M) and my gf is (15F). We've been together for almost a year now and we have been having sex for a long time now. Shes not completely new to it as shes had ex boyfriends that shes done sexual stuff with in the past way before she met me. So what happened was she came over to my house to have sex and spend time with me but we had a big fight and she ended up walking out on me. I tried chasing her to talk to her more and so that my parents could give her a ride home or use the 500 i gave her to book a joyride. But she didn't want any of that and just stormed off. I went back to my room to sleep because ive been awake for so long but for some reason I couldn't. I checked her location and I saw that she turned it off and it was stuck on a place barely outside my subdivision. at first i thought nothing of it but then 15 minutes went by and she still wasn't home. (My house is around 10 minutes away from hers) So then maybe I thought that she was mad at me and was trying to avoid me. I chatted her younger 14 year old sister to ask if Hannah was home and she thought that I was just joking around with her. But then as more minutes went by we got more scared as this isn't something that my gf would normally do even if shes mad. So I chatted her sister, my friends, and her friends to contact her number because I didn't have any load to call her number. As I waited for their response I rode my bike to her location to check if she was still in there or not. It was a sketchy asf junkyard type place with many abandoned cars. I looked around and even recorded it to check if she was there but she wasn't so I went home. I talked more to her sister about it and we got more and more scared of what could be happening to her. But after 2 hours she finally got home. I asked her sister to pic her and voicemail her and when I received the voicemail i instantly knew what happened. She was breathing so fucking hard and it was so obvious that she had been crying. Turns out her phone died and thats why no one could call her and locate her. When she finally did talk to me after she charged I kept asking and asking if she was okay and what happened. But she kept avoiding it and saying idk. I knew at the time something terrible must have happened because thats so not like her. Tomorrow morning I went to her Village to play basketball and when we got finished I came to her house to talk to her in person. And after a whole lot of convincing she finally told me that she had been raped at her last location. And then she shut the door on me because she didn't want to talk to me anymore. After that I had tryouts for basketball so i went there but the whole way there I cried multiple times and was so fucking bothered by it. After the tryout I went straight to her house to talk to her. At the time and i think still now I wanted to break up with her. What happened to her was completely my fault. I should have been there because that was my responsibility and I failed. Our relationship before that happened was also not doing great and to be honest I felt disgusted by her. I know how much of an asshole I am. But thats honestly how I felt. I think the rapist came inside her before she could get away. I came to her crying my eyes out with her favorite ice cream because I came there with the full intention of breaking up with her. We talked for 5 hours or more and I got home at 1 am.

I said everything that was on my mind. I didnt leave anything out. For my side I felt guilty for what happened and every time i see her or think about her I just get so sad and guilty for what happened. Shes like a constant reminder to me of how much of a failure I am as a boyfriend to her. I also think that she deserves way better than me. Shes a very attractive girl and has a bright future. She deserves a man that can protect her and be able to stay with her and comfort her during a time like that where she got raped but me? The moment I found out that she got raped I got utterly disgusted with her. She doesnt deserve an asshole like me. I wish I could be better and I am trying but its been 2 days since that happened and how i feel and think about it is still the same. My mind is so fucked up that a part of me thinks that she did that to get back at me because of our fight that day. or even like maybe she wanted it or she liked it or it felt good to her. she denied all of it but i cant help but think of those scenarios. For her side she didn't want to break up. She refused to break up with me because she thinks that she can still change the way i think and my mentality. Im her closest friend even if we weren't dating. We are literally best friends in a way but also fuck and love each other. So I guess we both didnt want to lose that. She also said that maybe I was just stunned by what happened and that I was making rash decisions on breaking up with her based on pure emotion. She still wants to be in a relationship with me even though Im pretty sure all of this was my fault and Im the one with an asshole ass mentality to even think of breaking up. I know how much of a coward I am for this.

If you want to hate on me and say shit then go, I honestly deserve all the hate for my failures. But I hope that maybe someone can help us deal with this situation.

She didn't want to tell anyone else. This is exactly what I hate about her. Her ex situation-ship also forced her to suck dick but instead of telling the authorities she just kept it to herself. I cant stand that a guy like that who rapes random woman off the street can walk freely. She has told me multiple times to not do anything about it as she wants to move on from what happened.

I dont want to tell her this but I did talk to a cop about it and the cop advised me to go to a baranggay or police station and report it but Im not sure if that will work. No one saw what happened and its purely the word of hannah against the guy. its been almost 3 days since what happened so im not sure if they can still get the dna of the guy from her and it also may mix with my dna so it may be hard. I went and talked to the police near the spot to ask and he told me to go to the police station and report it to check if there was a CCTV nearby that could have seen the guy. The place is a run down junkyard tho so im not sure if it has. Im pretty sure I cant go to the baranggay as they will make my gf go there and involve both our families which is the exact opposite of what she wants. But later I will go back to the junk yard and look for a cctv and knock on nearby housed to ask if they saw or have cctv.

I hope that someone out there can see this and help us.

I (19m) have been dating my boyfriend (19m) for a year and some odd months now. I've tried over and over again, but I am obsessed with his ex boyfriend. Not in a "I love him" way, but I LOATHE his ex so bad. He was a pretty shitty guy to my boyfriend, but I always feel myself comparing me to him. It feels like, no matter how bad he is, that he has something I don't. It feels like I'm a replacement even though my boyfriend has never made me feel that way.

It just sucks. I am constantly checking his socials, I've tried blocking him but end up unblocking to look at it. I love hurting my own feelings, and I don't know how to stop it.

UHG

I created this account specifically for this. My boyfriend 32m and I have been together for a year, we have a very active sex life, and I am very attracted to him. But lately, I can only 'get there' if I stimulate myself mentally and create scenarios in my head scenarios where he usually isn't involved (no, I don’t think of anyone specific). Am I bad for this?

I find him very attractive and I love our sex life, and I orgasm every time we have sex, without exception…. but I have to create a fantasy in my head to make it happen. I feel a bit guilty about it and I wanted to know if this is normal.

I don’t want to get involved yet.. bc we are teaching her to resolve conflict and to not care what people think…
Buttt .. my daughter is 8, beautiful, and very loved by most. She has two girls in her class that give her hell. Today they told her that her hair was disgusting and her breath stinks. She literally has the most beautiful hair. It’s long, blond, and has natural beach waves. It’s so obvious they are jealous. I explained to her that everyone is different, different cultures have different types of hair and usually we all wish we had different hair than what we were born with. I’m tempted to get ahold of their mothers but am not sure yet.

Im going to an HBCU in the fall and I’m just thinking about my social life and the culture and I’m just now realizing I don’t know how to do makeup. I am almost 18 and the most I do is mascara and eyeliner. In no way is this like a “pick me” situation because I genuinely want to learn but every-time I’m in the store, in that aisle, I just get embarrassed. Especially since I don’t want what to get. Most people would go to their mom but she never really let me get into makeup as a pre teen/teenager and I’m not sure why she never taught me ( I lowkey think it makes her uncomfortable). But I never really fought it because I never cared but now it’s graduating season and college is only 3 months away, I look at my hbcu “I got in page” and see a bunch of beautiful faces and I’m just a little worried when it comes to parties or formal events. I just feel left behind and left out because it’s something I should know how to do. Especially since my friends have been doing makeup since the beginning of High school.

Pls give a girl some advice🫰

Hi. I see a guy that works on the train I take to work. We are polite and smile at each other. Sometimes a hi and have a nice day. There is no reason for me to believe he’s into me but I think he’s so cute. Idk if he’s single or anything. Is it weird to just write my number down and give it to him? Do I make up a story about why I’m giving my number?

For clarity, we don’t have an opportunity to talk more than what we do. He is at work and busy.

This may be a silly question but is it weird that I as a non-Irish person really love Ireland and its culture? It’s not to the point of obsession though it’s all mainly in admiration and respect. I have a running joke that I’m 000.01% Irish with friends and I recently got a flag of Ireland. I don’t want to push it since I just find the country really cool but I don’t know if it would be seen as weird. All opinions are welcome especially Irish people!

​

I am a male in school and for the other parties involved I will not reveal our ages and I know this is a very, and I mean very stupid question, but for some context I have never felt attracted to really anyone and this is why I'm going to the degens of reddit to help me.

The story is very short and started yesterday when I only had about 4 hours of sleep and was too tired to care but I decided to sit next to a girl, this used to be a girlfriend of a friend of mine and was a grade above me, so I did not mind and we were making jokes (I will admit most were inappropriate)and chatting. Fast forward a bit into the bus ride and two (M) kids asked us to kiss for $5. This was obviously in my mind a joke and I was too tired to care, even when they raised to $40 which I still thought they were joking and ignored them through the ride.

Cut to today and I sit next to a friend who is a grade below me (F of course) and we chat about her new kittens and whatnot (as I'm typing this I feel it would be important to add that I'm usually not very talkative as I listen to music on the bus and hate to be interrupted but did not these times because I forgot my earbuds at another house) anyway as we are talking we are interrupted by the same boys, but they have now raised to $90 and did not say what the offer was, but I accidentally fed there minds as I started thinking about it. I then felt obligated to tell her the offer and she was from what I could tell a bit embarrassed. This is where the shipping started as everyone in the back of the bus was starting to try and get us together, even saying things like how cute our babies would look. She was red and I may have been too. I couldn't look at anyone and just looked ahead. My chest felt weird and I was really uncomfortable, even after the bus ride, it's even worse now as I type this. What made it worse is when I told her I then told her I had no love interests and she was still supportive agreeing that I would need to find the right person and such. The same boys were talking about cash apping the other to pool the $90 later on the trip and not even to us so idk if it's a joke anymore.

What do I do? I need an answer hopefully by tomorrow before the next bus ride because I have 0 experience with anything related to this

Hi all, so I started working at an Asian grocery store in march in CA

Obviously I start buying and eating the food from here, and in April - my partner and I got severely sick with the stomach flu… possibly from here

I stopped eating and shopping here as I learned there’s rats etc. Fish dept break frozen fish on the floor, ice scoop is same ice scoop used for raw fish and shaved ice dessert…

I want to report, but I’m also an employee here

Please advise, thank you

i 19f gave into a social media ragebaiter on anti abortion on campus. I was freaking stupid and gave in to it and argued with him, saying stupid stuff and even made up things about myself to get the point across. Now theyve posted some things on the internet. Im really embarrassed that i made up stuff or said things that i wasnt positive was true and now its all over the internet. I asked them to take it down and they said no. Im terrified they will post our whole interaction and i will be called out for how poorly i acted, by my coworkers or family. give me the cold hard truth bc i am freaking out and need to know my fate lol.

I’m asking this as a 22 year old female. I like, but I mean really REALLY like this man from work. And I honestly can’t stand it anymore and I need to know if he likes me back. So please do tell me, what are signs a man likes a woman? And how the hell do I approach this guy and tell him I’m interested in him without sounding like a creep or making our relationship awkward?

Some extra info; Sometimes I think he flirts back but I’m never 100% certain because I honestly can’t imagine him liking me back. I’m quite alternative and he’s very modest looking. He might also think I’m too young which had been an issue before.

One day we were working a nightshift together and he had to grab some stuff from a different location. When he came back it had gotten real hot at the workplace so he said something like “gotta take of my clothes first” before going back to work, I replied with “please not everything” and he said “like you would mind”

I have no idea if I heard that correctly, also if he did actually say that idk if it was just him trying to be funny or him trying to flirt. He had also said that me and him are like a bickering couple (multiple times) and I don’t know why but that always makes me blush and giggle like a little kid.

Also one time I told him I liked X in a man, and he said “Oh, so I should X more?”

Please help because this situation has been going on for a few months now and I just need to know if I can get a serious relationship out of this.

My husband and I have been together for 8 years. From the very beginning, I was open about wanting children someday. He knew how important becoming a mom was to me, and over the years he reassured me that we’d eventually have one together. He told me just one and after exploratory surgery on my part I was clear. two years ago I heartbroken that we made no progress and I told him I was thinking about what life would be like for us to be child free.

Because of that, I fully committed to our future. I built a life with him, got married, and even went into Early Childhood Education because working with children made me realize even more deeply how much I want to be a mother.

Now, after all these years, he’s saying he still doesn’t want kids and never sees himself changing his mind.

I’m 27 about to turn 28 next month and honestly devastated. I feel like I built my entire future around promises that are suddenly gone. Part of me feels angry because if he had been honest from the start, I could’ve made different choices years ago. Another part of me feels guilty for even considering leaving over this because I do love him deeply.

Has anyone else gone through this? Did you stay and grieve the life you wanted, or leave and start over? And realistically… is 27 too late to find someone else and still have the family I’ve always wanted?

I'm dealing with a situation that's beyond me. I'm having a breakdown, worried about groceries and genuinely feel scared about my situation.

I work two jobs remotely and a retail store I walk too, my partner watches our 11 month old. Well he is supposed to be but he hasn't been doing a good job at it and it's causing panic and making me leave work.. often at my remote job just to be parent while he gets angry at me for leaving work to care for our son.

He recently got a job and hasn't started yet so things will have to be changed. I hear our son crying longer then six minutes in the next room and he isn't trying to sooth him, my customers can hear it so I stop and soothe my son while he just looks annoyed and angry that I left work.

He tells me I asked for this, I didn't we planned for this baby. I journaled this but he is gaslighting me about giving me reassurance of this planned baby. Because I had a child before this who passed away and I lacked the support and worried about support and he gave me reassurance it will be different.

I'm the main breadwinner. Moving closer to family feels like a mistake because since the move he's mentally downgrading he wants to smoke weed and be lazy and controlling like when he lived in the east coast he wanted me to be outside more and active but now that we are in the south again it's like he doesn't even want me taking the dog out to go
Used to bathroom and getting upset.

He has a life that most people say they envy from
What his past friends said but he doesn't think because who wants a family and a job. I don't know. He's complaining about being depressed and thinks his life sucks compared to other men.

I'm crying considering going to a psych ward because of my thoughts right now because I'm worried I'm going to get fired I'm worried about food and rent. He says he can't leave us because the baby is apart of his DNA and he won't let anyone have access to his DNA.

I called around daycares and he's against daycares because it'll do harm to the baby. I just want him to watch the baby while I work that's all. I want him to actually soothe him and try. I don't think he cares it's degrading me because he feels I'm being sensitive.

I feel so stuck.