r/AmIOverreacting

My husband recently admitted that he has been driving around at night with a female coworker—three times, about two hours each time—just to have deep conversations.

He says the conversations were mostly about him, their dynamic, moral values, and even about how strange it is that they are connecting on such a deep level while both being in relationships.

He told me he has developed feelings for her, but doesn’t fully understand them. He also said he has never talked to anyone like this before except me. According to him, she gives him new perspectives that I don’t, because she is more confident and stands up for herself more.

He says he feels guilty towards me, but at the same time doesn’t want to lose these conversations because they are “good for him.” He agreed to stop driving around with her at night, but wants to stay in contact with her.

So… am I overreacting for saying: it’s her or me?

(Also, English isn’t my first language, so I used AI to help translate this.)

My daughter last day of classes before Spring Break had called me asking me to bring her a shirt because what she was wearing was deemed inappropriate. This happened in her 6th hour class. This is am afternoon class. All morning nobody had an issue with her outfit? I didn't when she left for school.

She was wearing a tank top with one of my button ups, capris, and sneakers. All she had to do was button up the shirt and she wouldn't be showing anymore skin than what is trending for her age today.

Of course a it was her history that called her out during a presentation. He told her that her outfit was inappropriate and that she needed to either call a parent for a new shirt or wear gym clothes.

She admitted she escalated the situation by asking who she was distracting, her classmates or the teacher himself.

I pulled her out of school for the rest of the day. I figured it was better to collect her assignments and just let her relax for a bit. It's embarrassing to be called out like that.

I also emailed her teacher asking for a conference call when he was available. I would like to have discussed the issue, because I only have her side. She's never had issues with this specific teacher. Others sure. She's been dressed coded before, but always in the morning and often by school security before starting class. None of them made her feel embarrassed. They told her politely and not in front of the class.

Due to this incident I felt uncomfortable with the idea of her returning to that class. I don't want my daughter to feel shame or even be around a older man who looks at her that way especially her teacher.

I talked with my daughter about switching classes around on her schedule. She was comfortable with the idea. I also discussed with her about finishing her senior year from a private school. She was okay with that as well. Despite that she won't graduate with her class and that the school I was applying for has a uniform.

My wife said I was doing too much and that her teacher meant no harm by anything. We talked and argued back a fourth. She said I was being an AH for assuming that her teacher was being creepy. That I shouldn't be allowed to just transfer for one year of high school because it will destroy our daughters future.

My wife wasn't there when I picked her up. She couldn't hear our daughter trying to not cry when calling me. I rather do what I believe is in the best interest of our daughter. I hate how she was shamed for what she was wearing.

I went on a date recently with a guy I had actually gone out with once before… like 2 years ago. Back then he paid, but he kept trying to get me to come back to his place which turned me off a bit, so I kind of lost interest. We stayed connected on FB though.

Fast forward to now, he reaches out and asks me out again to meet. I suggested we just meet at Starbucks, super casual.

When we get there, I offer to pay for his drink out of courtesy since he’d paid for my nice dinner on the first date 2 years ago.

He says yes, which already made me pause a little but fine whatever.

Then he gives his order to the barista and it just… keeps going. He orders a venti (large) brown sugar shaken espresso, adds like 6 extra espresso shots, cold foam, and a bunch of other add-ons I didn’t even fully catch. His drink ended up being $16. At Starbucks.

For context, my brown sugar shaken espresso was $7. He’s 36 and during the date he casually mentioned he just got a pay bump and now makes around $200k. I’m 30 and make about $110k.

I’m not mad about the money itself, I can obviously afford a coffee. It just felt kind of… tactless? Like if someone offers to pay, especially on a first or second date, isn’t it basic etiquette to keep it reasonable? Or at least not go all out with the most customized expensive drink possible? I wonder if he’d get himself a $16 drink if he was paying?

It gave me a weird vibe, especially combined with how he was the first time we went out.

AIO for thinking this was kind of inconsiderate, or is this just me overthinking a $16 Starbucks drink?

I (28f) am a wheelchair user. I was pushing myself up a sidewalk with a slight incline. Before I knew it, a guy walked up behind me, grabbed the handles on my wheelchair, and started pushing me. I started yelling because it was scary and I couldn’t even see the stranger because of how close behind me he was while pushing. I swung my hand behind me hoping to push him off and finally he stopped. He started cussing at me because I was “ungrateful” and he was just “trying to help.” Eventually he finally left me alone and I watched him walk off.

My wheelchair is an extension of my body. This guy was a stranger and he was violating me by taking it upon himself to “help” me. I also have a lot of trauma so it really was scary. If I needed help, I would have asked.

Am I overreacting with how I reacted to this situation?

My husband recently admitted that he has been driving around at night with a female coworker—three times, about two hours each time—just to have deep conversations.

He says the conversations were mostly about him, their dynamic, moral values, and even about how strange it is that they are connecting on such a deep level while both being in relationships.

He told me he has developed feelings for her, but doesn’t fully understand them. He also said he has never talked to anyone like this before except me. According to him, she gives him new perspectives that I don’t, because she is more confident and stands up for herself more.

He says he feels guilty towards me, but at the same time doesn’t want to lose these conversations because they are “good for him.” He agreed to stop driving around with her at night, but wants to stay in contact with her.

So… am I overreacting for saying: it’s her or me?

(Also, English isn’t my first language, so I used AI to help translate this.)

ETA: She doesn't live with us, only visits often.

When I am having 1 on 1 time with my baby, cooing and playing, she always comes over and starts loudly cooing at him too. Never immediately next to me, but in a manner that would make my baby turn his head away fully from me. She also interrupts his line of sight to me with her hand and rubs his face. I feel like when I continue trying to interact with him, I'm fighting for his attention, then he gets overstimulated. (he is 2 months old)

She doesn't do this when he is having time like this with his dad. She watches them and gives them space.

Am I overreacting in thinking she is doing this on purpose?

Bf (28) is making ice cream.

he started in a jug. has moved on to a bowl, and now is using the blender to mix the soft serve mix.

i told him he is just giving me more work, because ultimately I am gonna be the one that washes those dishes (unless inwant them to stay there for a week). its those things he already used plus the ice cream machine (which is kind of a pain to clean).

he told me "well do you want ice cream or not?" and I mean what I really want is some thought before just starting to dirty up everything in his path. because i dont even get to really enjoy the ice cream until the kitchen is clean.

so am i being crazy or isnit reasonable to be upset over this?

i do want to note that i didnt get angry or anything, I just made a comment about the extra work I'd have to do and he basically spat back his response

my friend has been making comments lately that have been giving me the impression that she wants my husband or is in some secret competition with me for him.

they knew each other years before i met either of them, and she’s been bringing that up in odd ways. the most recent event i can remember is when i was a bit worried because my husband wasn’t answering his messages after me and him got into an argument & she texted him asking if he was okay & he didn’t reply to her either. because of that she made a comment on how she’s known him for X amount of years and that you know he’s mad if he’s not even replying to her bc of how close theyve been for years, even before me. insinuating that he’d atleast text her in any situation & him not doing so is a sign of a big problem like as if they’re so close in ways nobody else understands. idk it just felt weird, and she’s made other similar comments.

other small instances are things like how she mentions she knows him so well & tries to describe my own husband to me like i don’t know him as well as she does. she’s even tried correcting me about him when i tell her he likes this or that.

it might just be me being insecure and stuff but it’s genuinely annoying and i can’t talk to people about it because it’s small situations stacked on top of each other and i sound irrational trying to explain it. aio about this or do you understand where im coming from?

Throwaway because my bf knows my main. I (36F) and my boyfriend (37M) have been together for 6 years and known each other for 8. We live together, not kids together but I have a son (8) from a previous relationship and he has a very close relationship with my bf.

My bf is a recovering meth addict, he was in rehab when we met and he’s been clean since. He attends Narcotics Anonymous meetings regularly and has completed the 12 steps multiple times. I’ve never taken hard drugs and never dated anyone who was involved in hard drugs, so whatever I learned about addiction and recovery, I learned from him.

We’re both diagnosed with ADHD and take Ritalin. We’d sometimes “borrow” each other’s Ritalin if we misplace ours (it’s usually found in some forgotten place the next day) but from last year I began noticing him helping himself to my Ritalin. He’d burn through his prescribed amount (already near the maximum dosage) then top up with mine. I’d often open my bottle and find at least a week’s worth of pills missing. He’d sometimes give me a sheepish “sorry” when I confronted him, and there had been times he’d get defensive and accuse me of not keeping the bottle out of his sight. He’s tried at least twice last year to “reset” himself by going off Ritalin for a month.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD recently and my bf told me he’d vowed to quit helping himself to my meds because it goes against his morals to help himself to a child’s medication. I asked him how come it didn’t bother him when he helped himself to mine and he said he didn’t know; it just didn’t cross his mind.

This month I’ve been struggling with my ADHD symptoms in particular and I ended up being 12 days short, as soon as I got a new month’s supply I began tracking and counting the pills closely. Today he told me he’s helped himself to “2”, and when I counted the bottle I had TWELVE missing! He’s been double-dosing himself daily on my medication because he’s burned through his month’s supply. This was on the back of me saying I’d leave him if I ever find himself helping himself to my meds again, and I have lost all faith in him about not helping himself to my son’s meds.

I’m furious, I want to leave him, but part of my mind also wonders if I’m overreacting— after all, he’s not smoking meth. Am I overreacting?

Honestly, I need the validation because I feel insane.

My (24F) fiancé (24M) and I broke up about 6 weeks ago.

The relationship was struggling for a while but I was consistently communicating and making an effort. The blue collar job he works caused burnout for him. On a Saturday night, he impulsively decided not to come home to get his head straight and took off to a friends house 2 hours away. They went out to a bar. He reassured me we were not breaking up that night.

Sunday, he came home around 5 p.m. and ended things. I immediately moved home to my parents and spent the next 2 weeks groveling for the relationship back. He wanted to be “friends” that still had sex but nothing more.

I decided to say no and started leaving him alone. About a month after the breakup, he was still consistently contacting me for sex and asking if I was moving on or if I would stick around for when he gets his head straightened out. I offered to do be patient for the first 2 weeks but after he asked me to cross my boundary so many times, I realized he’s not doing any self work. I told him the doors shut but not locked because of that.

This week, I got exhausted by being contacted for sex so I told him I understand if he goes and sleeps with someone else. On Wednesday, I told him I’m coming to move some things and gave him a timeframe. When I showed up on Saturday, he forgot I was coming and had a girl in the bedroom the entire time I was moving.

I was very mad. I don’t care that he had sex. I care that he forgot and put me in that position. I told him the relationship was done for good and blocked him on everything after moving. Then I got drunk last night, unblocked him, and started going off. Now I can’t tell if I’m over reacting about everything or not.

He told me he wanted to still keep me in his life but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship at this time. I was the one that ended things by not having sex. He said due to my inability to form a “friendship” with him during this period, we were clearly not meant for each other. He also said he wanted this time because we didn’t start as friends and rushed into a relationship. I wanted to get to know him for a few months but felt pressured by him to commit.

Spelling it out like this, it seems obvious, but I can’t help but wonder if the relationship would have been salvageable had I not been so hurt and agreed to his needs. AIO?

Basically what the title says. My bf went out last night with my sister and her bf (we’re all roommates) and I stayed home bc I’m sick and I had work in the morning. I woke up around 2:30 am to noise and I assumed they were back but I checked my boyfriend’s location and he was still by the bar… but like in a parking lot near it.

The bar closes at 2 and there is not anything else around it, just like wearhouses and lots. So I called him, no answer. I called again like 3 times and no answer. I checked my sister’s location and I saw she was home so I thought maybe someone stole my bfs phone or something so I asked the roommate group chat who was home and no answer. After calling everyone again and no answer my sister told me her and her bf were home. I called my bf again. A lot of times.

I asked my sister, well where’s my bf and she said “he stayed out with [my best friend’s name]”. I called her and she answered. I could tell I was on speaker in her car so if they were together, I knew he could hear me. I asked where my bf was and she said with her in the car and I said “…okay… why?” And I hear him say something, I don’t remember what, but then I just hang up.

They are really friendly with each other. They like all the same things and my bsf had like a thing in high school where she would just happen to like the guys that I did after I told her. She has a bf that she lives with too.

I’m not sure what to think honestly. I called him 13 times and he did not answer but he says they were just talking. I’m confused on how you don’t hear or feel your phone ringing 13 times.

He also did not tell me he invited her out. I found out when my sister told me who he was with at 2am.

He said the reason why he stayed out with her was because she said she was too drunk to drive so he stopped and waited with her.

When he got home he said they were talking about a recent argument me and him had and he was trying to get a perspective from someone who knows me really well.

I asked him to summarize it and he could only describe like one point.

AIO, this is weird right? I don’t even know how to get proof they weren’t fooling around.

So I (23F) feel kind of dumb even posting this but it’s been stuck in my head for like 3 days now and I cant tell if I’m being sensitive or if this was actually weird.

My boyfriend (27M) and I have been together about 10 months. He’s normally very calm and easygoing and honestly thats one of the reasons I liked him in the first place. He doesnt start drama. But this situation felt off and I dont know how to explain it right.

Last weekend I invited him to my aunt’s birthday dinner. It wasnt a huge thing, just family and a few friends at this small restaurant. I told him beforehand my aunt is kind of important to me because she helped raise me when my mom was working nights growing up. So I really wanted him there and for things to go well.

He almost didnt come because he said he was tired from work but then he did show up which I appreciated.

Anyway during dinner everything was normal at first. Then at some point my cousin brought one of her friends (a girl I didnt know) who sat near us because there werent enough chairs at the end of the table. My boyfriend started talking to her a lot. Like way more than normal polite conversation. Laughing at everything she said, asking her questions, telling stories I’ve literally never heard him tell before in the entire time we’ve dated.

At one point my aunt even made a joke like “oh looks like you two already know each other haha” and everyone laughed but it actually made me feel kinda weird in my stomach.

I tried not to make it a thing because maybe I was just reading into it. But then later when we were leaving he said he might add her on instagram because she “seems interesting and wants to get into the same field as him.” That part really threw me off.

On the drive home I told him it made me uncomfortable and he got quiet for a bit then said I was acting insecure and he was just being friendly and networking basically. Which I guess could be true?? but it didnt feel like networking to me at the time.

Also this was the first time he met a lot of my family and instead of talking with them he spent most of the night talking with someone neither of us even knew before that night.

Now I keep thinking maybe I embarrassed myself by saying something. I didnt yell or anything but the vibe got awkward after.

Am I overreacting about this or does that sound kinda disrespectful??

I'm going out tonight with my family (sister 11F, mum, dad 63M, and grandma). As we're leaving our hotel rooms, my dad says (to my sister) "you look very beautiful," nothing wrong with that, she's his daughter after all.

*Then*, he adds, "if I wasn't married..." which I repeat back to him, "if you weren't married...?" he then finishes with (something along the lines of) "well, I would be looking to marry you" (referring to my sister again).

I said "that's not appropriate," to which he immediately calls me out for, saying "don't tell me what I can or can't say, I can say whatever I like. When you have a daughter, you can say whatever you like to her. Don't make that mistake again" (I told him it wasn't a mistake). My mum also supported him, saying that he was just joking (while also trying to defuse the situation).

Did I overreact here? To me, it seemed like an inappropriate comment to make about *his under-age daughter*, but maybe I'm just making a big deal out of it.

I am atheist, wife is Presbyterian, but only attends church at Christmas and Easter. She knows how I feel about religion, but I am happy to let her take our toddler to church with her so he gets exposure and can make decisions for himself when he's older. I told her no baptism, because to me logically that is the first step to indoctrination. Taking communion hadn't even crossed my mind as a possibility so I didn't think to mention it.

This morning she told me he took communion at church and I am livid, but she doesn't understand.

Am I overreacting?

The other day I (24F) was building ikea furniture he (35M) picked up the hammer and pretended he was going to smash my head in. he lifted it up and then brought it down quickly and then said “ imagine “ and thought it was funny and i looked at him sad. This was about 2 months ago then not more than an hour ago he picked up two empty 5 gallon water jug sone in each hand and pretended to slam my back with it and said “ ooo i just wanna [does motion like he’s gonna hit me] “ and he thought it was funny again until i looked sad. He never really apologized just laughed it off and said “Im just kidding babe don’t take it seriously!”

We’ve been together for 2 years now and he constantly makes jokes that make me uncomfortable. The other day we were fighting and upset and I was in the room in the dark and he came in and we didn’t talk for like 30 minutes. All of a sudden he goes “I’m horny should I just go relieve myself or you wanna have sex.” I stayed quiet and he just left to the bathroom to jerk off.

We’ve had a huge issue with him withholding affection when we don’t have sex and I had to explain to him why it’s wrong and why he shouldn’t do that. AIO if I break up with him over these things?

We’ve been dating for two years he moved into my house after my parents divorced and moved to different cities and I took over the rent. We have a dog together and I’ve been paying majority of the bills because “he’s trying to pay off his credit card debt” Mind you he filed bankruptcy when we first started dating because of that debt and he had a clean slate for a while I don’t know how he got into debt again. He’s paid $1200 in the past two months when our rent alone is $1500.

I’ve been dating a girl for about 3–4 weeks, and here’s what happened. I have a friend group (3–4 people at most) that I’ve been playing tennis with and going to the gym with once or twice a week. We’re also part of a bigger volleyball group from my past job.

Here’s what happened: we went to volleyball practice, and afterward this friend group asked if I wanted to go to the gym since we hadn’t gone in about a month. I said yes because I had nothing else to do, and I told the girl I was dating that we were going to the gym.

Her response was, “Is there a girl with us?” There is a girl in this friend group, but I don’t want anything from her, and she doesn’t want anything from me either. There has never been anything between us. She also has a boyfriend. I explained all of this to the girl I was dating, but she became furious. She said she thinks I’m secretly in love with the other girl, and she also believes that men and women can’t just be friends. She also said that “a guy she’s dating shouldn’t be going to the gym with other girls.” I would agree if it were just the two of us, but it wasn’t. I was always with multiple people, never alone with her.

We got into a big fight. I told her I didn’t want to be controlled like that and that I don’t think going to the gym with a group counts as cheating or anything. After about two days of arguing back and forth, she called me a manipulator, a rat, and other things. So I told her that even though I like her, I don’t think we should be together.

It still hurts even after two months because I really liked her, and I’ve never had a girlfriend before at 24, so maybe I messed up my only chance.

god this is embarrassing

i dont usually do reddit but wtv. anyways, my family likes to make fun of me for having bloody underwear. ok so like i just recently got a period tracking app, like two weeks ago recent. so before that, i had no idea when my period would come, so every time my period started i would end up with blood all over my pants and underwear. nasty, i know, but if youre a woman (which i so unfortunately was born as), you will know that its not really something you can control.

anyways, since period blood leaves a stain, whenever my family finds my underwear, they just have to make fun of me. and its not like i just leave it around or anything. i do my own laundry, and my family usually folds clothes together, and thats when they see it. (that means its already been washed. just want to clarify.) anyways, they, especially my dad and sister, will talk about how i “shit myself” and laugh their asses off. its beyond embarrassing. but theres nothing i can do since teasing is normal in my family, and if i say that im uncomfortable with it, i get bullied even more. (i think i might have social anxiety or something because of this, but wtv.)

at some point, my sister thought it would be fucking hilarious to freeze my underwear. like, freeze it so that its a big square and my underwear is smack dab in the middle, and then place it in the freezer. it showed up a couple days ago, but i didnt know what it was and decided to ignore it. bad idea. i will now be checking every new mysterious thing that randomly shows up in the freezer. earlier, my dad called for me, so went into the kitchen, and saw my sister holding the block of ice that was my bloodstained underwear and my mom, dad, and sister laughing their asses off. i was mortified, because what the fuck? i grab the ice, yell at them for how weird they are (they just keep laughing, they are always laughing), and spend five minutes defrosting it in the sink with water. my sister kept walking past and snickering, so i just scowl at her and tell her that shes weird, and she just doubles down and says its funny. she always does that. like, i love her, but shes so fucking annoying.

i am positively pissed. this is insane, even by their standards. like i know its nasty to have bloody underwear and shit, and its embarrassing as hell, but i cant fucking help it. i have a period tracking app now, so hopefully it helps, but i still cant control when my period starts.

am i in the wrong for being mad? am i overreacting?