r/GirlDinnerDiaries

My boyfriend does not like me and I realises recently I need to leave. he's the third man in a row to treat me not so nice and I don't get it. im not perfect by any means, but I've been a good girlfriend to him and have loved him ferociously.

He doesn't kiss me really or tell me he loves me. The other night we went to a bar, a man got a little too close to me and made me uncomfortable. I started crying so we left. I asked him to put music on so I could distract myself, he turned it off and started an argument about "not understanding why I was upset" like it should matter why.

We broke up about 2 months ago because he lied to me about something big but I asked for him back thinking it'd be better. it's like he's gotten worse since then. I just don't understand why he's the third man in a row to mistreat me. I think the negative energy from him is causing the paranormal activity in our house to escalate. (I hope im doing this right. I've never posted on here before)

I finish super fast while he takes too long and it just gets uncomfortable continuing till he finishes :/ any advice?

I’m 32 living in a small remote town. I was supposed to be getting married to my partner of 3 years in July. I had 3 step kids, all girls between the ages of 8-13 and 3 cats who I loved dearly. I’m a sober normal and boring girl who goes to work, spends time with the kids and my friends who’s never had any serious issues. Normal and boring.

Ex-fiance cheated on me with his friend/co-worker (who was going to be a bridesmaid for me) of 13 years, went back to being a functioning alcoholic and decided at 41 he should take up his ❄️ habit again after years away from it. This all was happening the last year without me knowing. He broke up with me a few weeks ago, moved into her house the next day and is telling people I’m mentally unstable, crazy, pyscho and I need help - in my small town. Meanwhile, they are both drinking and doing coke together, and she’s an adult content creator who is still making content and apparently a lot of people know about it, but I didn’t. I found it all online this morning once someone made me aware of her online name.

Sushi because I’m absolutely broke, moved into mom and dad’s basement, I’m in a crazy amount of debt that I need to pay because he won’t help and I’m scared because of everything going on in the world. I’m feeling so lost.

Edit: for all the girls judging me for getting sushi when I’m broke, I had a gift card from a Christmas stocking. Good lord.

i got hella popcorn though. there’s another bag ready but i eat enough. sleep for dinner 🫶

I woke up really in the mood for pancakes today so my boyfriend got up, went to the shops and came back to make me some with homemade mixed berry compote, sour cream, butter and honey. He also made me a smoothie to go with it too.

He was really overstimulated because he was working (he works from home) and had shit to do but still made it for me just because I wanted it🥺. When I told him thank you for making the pancakes despite all the extra hassle it cost him (he now has to catch up with work over the weekend and had to run out of the store to pick up a work call), he just said “of course”🥺🥺. He tried to act like he was mad at first but he literally couldn’t stop laughing, smiling and calling me a princess while I was happily eating my pancakes haha. The perfect lunch from the most perfect man, I’m so happy <3

Was talking to a gaming buddy of mine when I mentioned feeling nervous about an upcoming solo vacation I'm taking (my first one without at least one friend along). He outright said it was dangerous to travel regardless, and that being a woman had no real bearing on it. Told me I was just being paranoid.

When I called him out on it, he felt the need to add that just because I'm eloquent doesn't mean I'm smart, and just because I'm attractive it doesn't make me a good person. Also listed out my achievements such as being a published author and claimed I felt like I was better than everyone for having them, despite never bragging and being one of the most self deprecating people I know. If anything, he was always sharing pictures of his new house, pool, shopping hauls, etc to try and impress me. I would never bite or show interest, so I guess his ego had enough.

Needless to say, I put him in his place and then blocked him everywhere. These red flags were the last straw, but far from the only ones he had. Still can't believe he felt like he could speak to me this way and still keep me on his friend lists.

PSA for anyone who may need to hear this today: If you encounter a man that minimizes the added risks and dangers we face as women, even if it's early on or seemingly a throwaway comment..... RUN. Don't walk. A man like that is ignorant at best, misogynist at worst. You can't send them a bunch of statistics or otherwise teach them they're wrong. It's not about facts for them. These are not men who are safe for you.

Sunset Sarsaparilla, a spicy tuna roll, and veggie maki from the best sushi spot in the city.

Just like the title says, this was a couple of years ago. He was an associate and I was his secretary. Still wonder if it was a little bit of a grooming situation I was 22 he was 35. (my first big girl job) He had a gf asked for a threesome, I said no, he broke up w her then I ended up sleeping with him. (we were friends I guess, would hang outside of work occasionally & he was emotionally challenged.) He would confide in me and I would help him work through his feelings. (Think patrick bateman from american psycho. Super hot super type A and sterile emotionally probably sociopath)

He did end up getting me a 20k raise though…. I had to quit because all my coworkers hated me and I wanted to travel the world. I do think about his penthouse from time to time. (and all the fancy wine)

7/11 snack haul in Japan.

This is a thought I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I love kids; I have a ton of nieces and nephews, some of my friends have kids, and I work part time as a nanny and babysitter, but I just can’t get to the point of wanting to have my own. I’ve felt a lot of shame about this decision, so I’ve held back on accepting it, but I’ve decided it’s my life and I can do (or not do) what I want! I’m happy to be the rich aunty (manifesting ✨) for all the kids in my life from my favorite people.

Talenti salted caramel truffle ice cream (slightly melted because duh)

I’ve always been sex positive and never had an issue with pornography, my boyfriend and I have even watched some together and I’ve seen stuff he’s saved before. He typically saves a lot of fantasy stuff, which is funny to me but I’ve never minded or cared much. He’s a gamer so I kind of was like whatever

I woke up hungover after we went to my best friends party the night before, and my brain literally bluetooth connected to his phone and I did the wrong thing and opened it up, searching in his twitter bookmarks first thing.

Lots of solo girl gooner content. Fml. Think Belle Delphine adjacent, clown makeup, super fast clips and even a compilation. We fought immediately and I told him that that kind of “slop” is literally brain rot and I am not comfortable with solo OF content and just felt so weird and couldn’t really articulate exactly what was making me feel uncomfortable about this content, because I’ve never had these feelings before.

Like can you not watch a long form porn video on the internet? You need to doom scroll gooner twitter? FML FML

I ended up apologizing yesterday for the major breach of boundaries, making him feel shameful, and tried so hard to take an angle of respect. Everyone deserved their privacy and have their own intimacy with themselves. But I’m having a weird time moving forward. He’s promised to stop watching porn and honestly I completely believe him. He’s devastated he hurt me.

DELICIOUS WONTON BEEF NOODLES

I (34F) think it's time to break up with my (38M) boyfriend. we've been together for 2.5 years and our relationship is overall the most peaceful and least toxic I've ever been in. I have a history of dating toxic, abusive men and so I'm always really suspicious and waiting for someone to cheat on me since every partner I've had, has cheated. I love him and I genuinely feel the love he has for me which makes this even harder. overall I'm so happy with him, we work together, all of our coworkers see us as relationship goals. we're in different departments but he's even told our COO that were happily together. I can't fathom why he would brag about dating me if he was lying or seeing someone on the side. I feel like that would make him such a monster and why would he risk all of our coworkers finding out he's a lying POS.

unfortunately I'm 90% sure he's lying to me, at least about a few things. i'm not convinced he's not still seeing his ex (but it's so hard to say if I feel that way only bc of my history) he reassures me constantly and I talk openly and candidly about all of my fears and insecurities. I know how toxic that sounds (he's so rad but hes lying, c'mon self!) but he also has been cancelling plans every time it's time to meet his kids. we're on the same phone plan and I can see which numbers he texts. he texts one number nonstop all day (as well as texts me nonstop--i am that girl who needs constant communication and he is excellent at dealing with me being needy and clingy--in fact he's told me many times he loves that I'm clingy and that I want to be in such contact) anyway he told me his daughter's phone broke and that she was using her friends phone to text him during the school day. okay fine BUT the kids are on spring break and he's still texting that number nonstop. so obviously it's not his daughter's friend. that's the only concrete lie I know of but I'm pretty sure it's been lies every time the plans have been cancelled to meet his kids. if he's with his ex still, of course he's not gonna ever allow me to meet his kids. first he said his childcare for the oldest fell through (the oldest apparently refuse to meet me due to their mom abandoning them) so he said he's not gonna force them (I agree with that) but that he'd like me to meet the younger two. then apparently one of them was very sick yesterday so they had to cancel again. I understand isolated incidents happen and kids get sick (he texted me pics of a positive covid test apparently from one of the kids) but it's an awfully big coincidence that it gets cancelled every time. my mom is a big fan of his (he carried me through inpatient ED recovery, was active in my therapy, active still in my recovery, he's consistently been kind, patient and calm with me in EVERY interaction) and she thinks I'm just pushing too hard to meet his kids and that I need to slow my roll and wait until they're ready then let him lead the approach. it sucks because he's met my son so now my son could be hurt from a break up while his kids aren't affected at all. we've never had a fight in the 2.5 years together. we've always talked openly and discussed any and all issues that have come up and worked out any minor or major disagreements we've had when necessary. like I said, I have NEVER had such a healthy relationship.

I've been talking to my therapist in great detail about all of this and I just can't shake the feeling that he's lying to me. half the time I think I need to end it but I keep pushing it off because I don't want to deal with the inevitable emotional pain that I know I'll go through. but I also am trying to face the fact that the longer I put it off, the worse it's gonna be. but the other half of me wants to keep giving him the benefit of the doubt (but how many times do I give him the benefit of the doubt before I face facts).

anyway I just texted him and told him I know he lied about who he's texting. he won't reply until later tomorrow but I'm just hurt and emotionally numb at the same time at this point.

thanks for listening 😭🤷🏼‍♀️

-WITH HER KIDS IN THE CAR.

I found out because someone called the cops while she was in town, drunk off her ass, with her kids in tow. We live in a rural area, there's no way they walked.

Her kids have phones, I gave all of them my number and told them to call me if she tries to drive them anywhere.

I am so fucking mad. I genuinely want to kick her ass.

First time in so long I actually liked someone enough to go out again. He was texting normally up until 11am today and then crickets. Can’t say I didn’t see this coming, it was one of the fears I mentioned to my therapist this week. I hate when I’m right and I wish I knew how to listen to myself better. There was a part of me that knew this man wasn’t really into me and I didn’t listen.

Arby’s was the only thing I felt like having.

por supuesto le dije que no había ningún problema, pagué mi comida. y me fui para nunca más volver a saber de él.

Asian student in the US. I came to US, learnt about myself, and learnt how cruelly deceptive the world is. Cut everyone off, lost the weight, got medicated and got a job without playing games. I just kept my head high, stood in touch with my emotions and put myself out there. I chose to be kind and the world gave it back to me.

We'd been having problems for a hot minute (more like a year, after we briefly broke up and tried to give it another shot). We both had resentment. I'm in school and he was covering the household bills, though I do have some savings. He'd always had low testosterone, and in the beginning, I was always horny and just had to go without. The sex we did have was never good, and he wasn't generous in bed. Apparently, at some point, his sex drive got a boost, and he went off on me last night for "never giving him sexual favors when he pays for most things, because at least if you see a prostitute, you pay for something and get it." I told him I had no idea he even wanted that. I have zero issue with transactional relationships, but like...I have to know we're playing by those rules? I told him he should have asked, and he said that asking for sex is "weird" and that I should just want to have sex with him. I told him that normal people open their mouths and communicate they want some, like I used to before I started losing attraction to him. Then he said that sex was the one thing I could have brought to the table, and I wasn't doing that. He gave me a 30-day notice and will be moving out. I've been so excited about school and a new career, and while I'm nervous about the time when I finally live in a quiet house with no farting man and coming home to no one, I would be lying if I said I hadn't been fantasizing about that exact thing for a while. I'd already been applying for jobs, but this market is ass. Still, I'm hopeful and excited! I've gotten through worse and am such a different person than I was a year ago when we split. Back then, I was DEVASTATED. Now, my biggest concern is doing an amazing job on my assignments over the weekend and coming back to flex on everyone on Monday. I finally love myself more than him and will do what I need to do to be self-sufficient without him.

Also, I'm sorry for making this post man-centered! I normally like to post about awesome school accomplishments and the like, but this is a big change, so here we are, lol.

Chocolate chip buttermilk pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns, and sausage that my amazing best friend had delivered. Not pictured: Hot chocolate. 🤍

There have always been tensions between us. I’m the oldest by 3 years, we’re both in our 30s, she lives at home with her partner and our mom. I asked to do the same during a rough period and was essentially told no as she’d feel uncomfortable about sharing the space, despite my mom being fine with it. Just found out she hasn’t paid rent for the entire time she’s been there (7+ years). Told her how unfair that was and she blew up at me, saying I was ungrateful, demanding, blaming her for my life decisions (which I didn’t). Blamed me for not pandering to her untreated OCD and Autism (both of which I also have and she gives me no grace for). Also found out she’s been badmouthing me to our mutual friends and twisting my words in the process.

On top of that, I have to move out of my flat next month. My mom says it’s fine to move in with her for a bit, which of course now won’t be happening due to my sister’s crashout. I can’t afford a deposit for a new place.

Homemade scones with raspberry jam and slightly over whipped cream

ft. egg and avocado sandwich

he has completely changed his behaviour and is being super sweet to me and doing anything I ask for, but I still can't let go of some of his past actions, these include things such as:

* raised his voice at me on a few occasions (for example, one time because I called him in the morning and woke him up to ask for some important information that couldn't wait, he got mad that I woke him up, but later apologized for his behaviour)

* early on in our relationship, he entered me without a condom in the heat of the moment despite me saying earlier that I want to use a condom. I didn't stop him but later I felt like my boundary was violated.

* on more than one occasion he tried to pressure/coerce me into having anal sex, saying that I can't know if I don't like it unless I try it, and that I should have trust in him. I refused every time. he stopped doing that now.

* he forgot my birthday but remembered another girl's birthday and even bought her a gift and offered to throw a mini birthday celebration for her. (this was very early on in our relationship, but it still hurt)

* he had a period where he was fixating on another girl, wanted to to involve her in his work (he does a lot of volunteer work), and was visibly upset when she didn't want to be involved. (this fixation is now gone).

* I prepare coffee for him everyday and cook for him regularly. one time I asked for him to heat water for my tea and he started whining and wouldn't do it.

there are more things that he did.. but suddenly he has completely changed. we didn't even have a deep conversation or anything, he is just extremely sweet and attentive now, for my recent birthday he remembered it and bought me an amazing gift and threw me a surprise party.. but I still feel resentment towards him. I feel guilty because he's being good now, but it feels so hard to forgive some of his past behaviour.

first post, hi everyone!

since i was 14, ive been in and out of relationships, always within 3 months of each other. most of the relationships were at least a year long, so when i was in them, i really committed. it just never worked out.

i’m 22 now, and just broke up with my latest boyfriend. we were together 1.5 years, and i made a lot of compromises during it that made me realize i didn’t really know myself…because ive always been taking care of someone else! i had a huge realization that i was prioritizing partners over myself, which was crazy to realize. i even gave up my dreams for my career, living situation, etc. to continue our relationship, and when i realized that, i had to end it.

now, im very excited and happy to be intentionally single for the first real time in my life! i can do whatever i want, go wherever i want, and pour into myself and my friends. i have no interest in another relationship for the first time EVER! while i am still sad to not have a partner, im considering this a win for me and my dreams! (wedge salad with a glass of my favorite red)

Being trans has felt weird because my whole life Ive felt comfortable in ladies spaces and never really understood why until I came out. Im working on changing careers to become a Software Developer and I recently moved in to a new space. It truly feels like spring and I finally feel like Im starting to embrace the change. I truly feel happy and a calm Ive never felt before.

Meal is Fish and Chips

been secretly hooking up with a friend i really shouldn’t be and now i think im starting to catch feelings 🙃 trying not to be delusional, but based off of how he acts it also feels like he might be too….but we’re both too scared to broach the conversation considering the circumstances of why we shouldn’t be hooking up. this whole thing is starting to stress me out (guilt for keeping the secret from my friends and general fear of rejection) but i’m also having a really fun time with him…yay!