r/AskLGBT

I like women, but only certain women its not like a LOT of women. I have liked maybe 5 women in my life. I have been with men mostly. But I have dated a woman too. The woman relationship was much less intense than the men, but it was usually fastforwarded by the men anyway.

I believe I am sexually attracted to men, but romantically attracted to women. What does this mean? I am very confused.

I struggle with my identity a lot... especially pronouns! I have no idea what I want people to call me and see me as. nothing feels entirely right, and it gets frustrating being asked what my pronouns are cause even I don’t know

unfortunately, telling people “none” gives a bad impression that I’m one of those homophobes, so I just tell people “any”

is this a relatable experience to anybody else?

Are polysexual and intersex people are part of the lgbtq community yes or no ??

Because i see some post about intersex people say they not longer part of the community and polysexual say the same thing soo i’m confuse 🫤.

My sister in law is giving birth tomorrow, and I want to support both her and my sister in that first month. They've had a rough ride with IVF. What did you appreciate most as new parents, both as the birthing parent and the non birthing parent? Besides sleep of course!!!

We’ll be there with time, cooking, cleaning, and general hands on help as they need it, but I’m wondering what else new parents genuinely appreciate most as gifts in those early weeks.

For anyone who’s been through it:

- What were the things that made you feel seen, supported, or centred as a new mum?

- Are there practical items you didn’t realise you’d need until the baby arrived?

- Is there anything that really helped the birthing parent feel cared for (physically or emotionally) while everything was revolving around the baby?

Trying to avoid clutter and focus on things that actually make life easier or make them both feel held in the chaos, as most attention from others will go to the baby. Would love your thoughts!

So i've identified as a guy for around 3ish years but recently I've been having doubts about whether or not i'm actually trans.

I'm not out to anyone apart from a small group of close friends but I do present very masc and pass well but since I came out to my friends I've been having doubts if I actually like being called by my chosen name and masc pronouns. I've been looking in the mirror and I like what I see but idk if it's really me or who I am/who I want to be. It sorta feels like the person in the mirror is like another person. I would say I like being masc but sometimes it does feel a little weird. I've identifyed pretty consistantly as transmasc for a while and having normal trans experiences but it's sorta felt differently recently. I also don't know if I really feel a connection to being a boy, masc and my chosen name and pronouns. I also feel kinda anxious when I get called my chosen name/pronouns and idk if it's because it's a big change or because it's not really me. I also keep getting confused on what's gender envy and what's me just finding someone physically attractive (i'm bi). I don't think i'm a girl but it's not impossible and there are some parts of being fem I like (eg painting nails, acting more fem, etc.)

Idk if this is just me otherthinking or if it's actually something. I know I can take things slow and try things out but I would like some advice on how to be sure or just general advice.

I’ve been labeling myself as a lesbian basically since the day I came out but I’ve always thought I liked men. I started going by pansexual and recently went on a date with a man. The whole time my body was telling me to leave and I can’t ever imagine kissing him. I’m freaking out internally a little. I like talking to him and I do get giddy with our conversations but when it’s in person I think I freak out??? Idk I just need advice!!

I (17 enby masc, andro) am dating someone (16 m gay) who has seemed to become slightly distant lately. He is homeschooled and lives a significant distance from me. He says he spends most of his time working and doesn't see my messages but the status icon says he is online on Discord the entire day. I'm afraid that maybe he's losing interest in me. We've been together for a bit over a year now and I love him with all my heart.

I'm worried I'm just worrying too much and being too clingy. I feel like maybe I ask for too much.

I'll also bring up something that I need to let out because it has affected me emotionally and he just dismissed it. Today I told him that the raccoon who has been visiting my yard for about two years died on my back doorstep and I had to clean it up. I told him how sad I was and he just told me it wasn't a big deal. I guess it really wasn't something I should have gotten upset over. It's only an animal ig

I feel like I should just let him message me when it works for him and try not to really bring up anything too personal or emotional.

I'm honestly just wondering if I've been a bad partner...

[Quick Edit] Relationships are hard for me but I'm trying my best. My last two relationships kinda left me traumatized so trying again has been difficult but I really am trying my best

This one is long but please, bare with me. Hi everyone, I really need some outside perspective on what to do about my father. My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 years. Most of my family is supportive, but my dad is the only one who refuses to accept us. He even tells his siblings, "If it’s okay with you, it’s not okay with me."

At first, he used to talk to my girlfriend. But now, he treats her like she doesn't exist. Whenever she tries to show him respect (like doing the traditional bless/mano), he walks away or completely ignores her.

I have tried talking to him many times. We’ve had huge arguments because I just want him to show us basic respect. My girlfriend still respects him despite everything, but he remains stubborn. He even told his siblings, "They want me to respect them? I might just slap them. She hasn't proven anything yet," referring to me.

That comment really hurt. I just graduated with a BS in Civil Engineering and I just took the board exams. I thought things would get better once I graduated, but it actually got worse.

• He doesn't talk to me at all.

• He never checks on me while I'm away studying.

• When I'm home, he won't even invite me to eat.

• The Irony: He accepts my cousins who are also in same-sex relationships, but not me.

What makes this harder to understand is his own history. He has had involvements with men before, and we’ve seen him chatting with men or watching gay adult content on his phone.

He is also going through a lot of personal issues:

• He is currently unemployed due to some dishonesty at his past job.

• He is buried in debt and hiding from people.

• He might be bitter because my girlfriend helped provide for my school needs (like lending me her laptop) when he couldn't.

I feel so guilty because my girlfriend’s parents are incredibly kind to me. She doesn't deserve to be treated like "air" or garbage by my father. I’ve been holding onto the hope that once I pass the boards and start providing for the family, he will finally respect us.

What should I do?

Should I keep trying to earn his approval?

How do I protect my girlfriend from this treatment without cutting off my family?

Is his anger just a reflection of his own "fucked up" life?

I'm lost and tired. Any advice would be appreciated.

okay so I have struggled with my sexuality ever since the beginning of middle school (I’m 16 almost 17 right now) and still struggle with it today. it’s a very blurry zone in my life that i want to clear up before it ruins things even further. this is a long post but please read until the end and help me because i’m so lost 🥀

okay so context: in middle school i never had huge crushes on boys, only slight infatuations that i kindaaa picked myself. like i would work myself up thinking about the fact that they may like me, so it was pretty artificial. I got like two confessions from some of my male friends and turned them down instantly.

I thought that i got a crush on one or two girls in 7th grade but they were older and cooler so it mayyy just have been admiration. that led to me calling myself bi and then pan, but always privately (i only "came out" to my best friend at the time and it insanely backfired).

then, in 8th to beginning of 10th i went through a huge homophobic phase where i was pretty disgusted at myself for having thought that i liked girls, so i labeled myself as straight again (but still didn’t have any crush — boy or girl)

things started to shift sophomore year of high school when i was in a very artsy class and started getting into fanfics, especially marauders (iykyk) and it made me want to explore that part of myself again.

that’s when i met a girl. we got close extremely quickly, sharing all of our secrets with each other, staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning to text, going out every time we had the chance… I knew she had had a "story" with a girl previously but she didn’t know about me, because i thought it was going to make it weird. We were "just friends" but the intensity of that friendship was unmatched.

we constantly gifted stuff to each other, wrote heated friendship declarations… to the point where i started questioning my feelings for her. i didn’t even know if i had a crush or not, because once, i got the vibe that we were about to kiss and i got really scared and didn’t want to.

then it was the summer, and i went away to a camp without my phone, so we wrote each other long letters and i thought about her all the time, to the point where i cried once because i missed her so much (yeah the codependency was going strong) at the end of the summer we were closer than ever, acting pretty much like a couple, but then school came back and we were in two different classes.

we kind of drifted apart because of our different timetables (we were still friends, but none of that intensity we felt over the summer). I still liked her very much but it caused me distress more than happiness because i NEEDED to put a label on what i felt. i felt like if it had a label it would be easier to navigate the whole situation.

fast forward to October, i invite her to my birthday sleepover with our other friend, and that’s when she dropped the bomb: earlier in the afternoon, she had a boyfriend. it had happened the same day, and it completely ruined my mood for the rest of the night. and then the rest of the week, then the month, until i was barely speaking to her anymore, avoiding her in the hallways and not answering her texts. i don’t know why i acted like this, especially since we weren’t a couple, or weren’t even close to becoming one (she had thought i was 100% straight at that time, and i was still lost).

she still tried to engage with me, sometimes in a flirty way DESPITE having a boyfriend. I remember one time we were in a shared class and she sat next to him, and both of them sat behind me. they were like holding hands under the table or whatever doing a couple thing and meanwhile she was touching my hair.

she. was. playing. with. my. hair.

WHILE her hand was in her boyfriend’s lap.

it was devastating but anyways

so it ended there, and i can’t help but feel like if i had a label, i could’ve seen the situation better and either make a move or drop it and stay friends, rather than cutting ties. I DID "come out" (as in explain why i wasn’t talking to her anymore) to our third friend from my birthday and it felt really good.

also, maybe irrelevant but i engage with a lot of queer media, mostly mlm but sometimes wlw and I enjoy it a lot but i’m scared that it makes me a fetishizer or something if I’m not queer at all.

anyways i know this is long, but can someone tell me what i am ?? i never had a huge crush on a boy, and im not even sure i had one on a girl. What does that make me ? and YES i know that i should be able to exist outside labels but this is all very overwhelming

sorry for my english, I’m not a native speaker!! and THANK YOU if you took the time to read this, feel free to ask for precisions and share your pov on the situation even if it’s short <3

So I went on a date with this man and I hated every minute of it. I like talking to him and I get giddy over the phone. I just don’t think I’m attracted to him. Do I try again with another man or should I just keep assuming I’m a lesbian? I don’t want to experiment and hurt people’s feelings. Let me know what to do please

So I went on a date with this man and I hated every minute of it. I like talking to him and I get giddy over the phone. I just don’t think I’m attracted to him. Do I try again with another man or should I just keep assuming I’m a lesbian? I don’t want to experiment and hurt people’s feelings. Let me know what to do please

Eu sou garoto hetero com comportamentos femininos e me indentifico como menina mas não uso maquiagem para virar menina afinal, não seria femboy pois eles se maqueiam para ser meninas.

im a 20f collage student. this is the first time im explaining myself. i always had a thing for beautiful or cute girls/women since my childhood (i would give my snacks in elementary school because there was a really baby cute girl) like i would saw a beautiful adult woman and think 'omg she is so perfect'. it kept in middle school too i even had something for my friend (im still not sure if its love, affection or just a friend i get jelly when she talks to others). i had a lot of lewd dreams in highschool with girls, saw myself kissing or be naked w them. but i never fell in love. i always loved romance dramas and adore the male leads there. and had affection for men, im sure of that. but i also watched a lot of gay dramas in middle school (they were mlm) and im not sure if i am bisexual or a heterosexual who wsnts to be prettier because i like men. i still look around and think inside 'how pretty she is, how cute she is' etc. i love warmness when i hug my girl friends but idk if they are enough to prove. i cannot be sure of my sexuality or romance choice. i also always wanted to be cuter and prettier. when did you realize your sexuality or choices? did you ever think like this?

When I was about 11, I started to participate in the Internet a lot. In 2020, I was 13. Oh, was it crazy. I got into communities that had prominent amount of trans people in them, and all kinds of queer individuals in general. That time, I began to question my gender and sexuality. Partially due to desire to appeal to my new friends, I falsely claimed that I am trans and lesbian. I certainly had some negative feelings about my female body. Most of them, however, went away as I went through puberty. I still consider myself ugly but it doesn't have to do with gender.

Ultimately at about 14 I decided that I was cis and straight. Yet...

Ever since that time, I had literally obsession with wanting to be queer of any sort. When I imagine my perfect life, I imagine myself as queer. However I don't feel any attraction to anybody except cis men. I don't really have gender dysphoria, I was just raised without a mother and therefore more used to "boyish" interests, behaviours etc.

I feel so jealous of queer people to the point of hatred to myself. I cry and lot and feel terrible, like a child deprived of something they desire to strongly, if I think of my sexuality too much. I am literally textbook definition of cishet yet I want to be something different. I can't tell about this feeling to my friends, they might think Im making things up. I can't even define this feeling, I haven't ever heard of anybody experiencing anything remotely close? What is even this? Am I cis or trans? Is it some mental illness that bothers me? Am I just that hateful as a person?

Hi, this has been on my mind for months, and I just want to know if anyone is going through this or has gone through this.

I have felt physical and emotional attraction towards real and fictional women (anime characters, series, books characters, etc.), and I have never been attracted to real men, nor do I find the most famous real men attractive. But, I do find some fictional men attractive (but it's just 2D, anime, videogames yk), so, my question is, would you consider this being a lesbian, or bisexual, because ultimately you like a male character and you are attracted to him?

My mind keeps wandering and debating whether I'm a frustrated bisexual or a lesbian experiencing comphet, I know labels aren't necessary, but it's still eating me up inside not knowing what i am, please, if there's an explanation or there's other people who felt the same, I would like to know (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠)

Got recommend from dif sub to ask here

I don't form romantic connections easily, and and last time I did, I just couldn't imagine giving my life to someone one else, my time on their dime sound awfull, EVEN if we would be doing stuff together. Its just so bleh, SOMEONE ELSES opinions having to matter when making important decisions is stupid.

I find spending that much time with someone kind of intoxicating.

Having everything I do slightly tied to someone else is freaky!

And sex may make me feel hot but when I give it a deeper think.... I find it REALLY gross.

My first and last ex wasn't even a bad experience.

I just have no interest in dating or romantic relationship, I can fall in love, dream about it, but actually doing it, I gues lifts the veil maybe?

I also know I LOVE kids, but having them full time, I fear I may go to hell, short term, heck yeah, I'd be a GREAT AUNTY!

This is coming from a straight dude and my buddy transitioned and asked him how was it coming out to their parents and they said something around the lines of “I had no clue what the reaction was but it worked out fine” and now I ask Reddit how was it coming out

I've posted about this before but could use the insight from others. The core of my problem is cliche but it is fictional men. Mainly romantic/aesthetic attraction to androgynous anime boys, however, I'm pretty sex repulsed even towards fictional men. I know for a fact i'm not attracted to the traditional male body.

I've never been attracted to men irl in any way. I have only experienced attraction to women in real life, along with plenty of fictional female crushes. I'm more than confident about my attraction to women lol.

Since I only have romantic attraction to fictional men and zero sexual attraction to men period I suppose that would make me Aroace?...but only towards men?

Upon researching I've found that the idea of lesbians having fictional male crushes is...divisive to say the least. Mainly because the author of the infamous "lesbian masterdoc" is now married to a man.

I felt pretty secure in my sexuality as a lesbian up until recently when people began tearing the masterdoc apart and saying that no "real" lesbian has fictional male crushes, hence why i'm so confused now.

I will also mention that I do have OCD (which im currently in therapy for) so these patterns of doubting myself or trying to constantly "check" certain things about myself is a bad habit of mine. So it'd possible this is just my OCD talking, however it's hard to tell.

Any insight or advice would be very helpful! thank you for reading :)

Hey guys

I’m a 23F masc presenting, at work towards the end of lunch I was walking in to the building locked my truck had a couple coworkers call out asking if that was my truck so said Yes and they made a diesel “slur” joke and then all laughed together I was like what did you say and they said oh nothing just a joke about keying your truck I started to walk closer but they were like no no go away and I just turned around and went inside even though my blood was boiling. I’m not a crier but I broke down like a baby in the restroom and when I went back to work I know everyone noticed. I told my supervisor since I thought it was super messed up requested not to go to HR but to take note of the incident. My supervisor said they was going to make an announcement when we get back in office Tuesday morning. I’m super anxious about what’s going to happen. There was also some other work drama that happened with someone’s lunch going missing and a little argument on that so hopefully they won’t think it’s me. Did I do the wrong thing? What should I do?

I kind of want to quit but don’t want to be jobless either :/

EDIT: I edited out the slur they called me, I’m sorry if I offended anyone.