u/Accurate-Scratch7783

Yesterday, I went to play a pickup soccer game and this guy on the field randomly asks me about the necklace I’m wearing (basic heart locket). He goes “oh I thought you were from my country since we have a similar necklace/pendant.” I ask him what country he’s from and he says Spain.

Fast forward, we switch teams and my team is playing against his. He keeps talking to me while we are playing and says “sorry I didn’t mean to be rude. I meant to ask you where you were from, but I didn’t want to get in your way (I was walking to the other field). We keep playing and he’s asking me where I’m from, how long I’ve been in the state, etc.

During the game he passes me the ball to help me score a goal for my team. I almost get it in and he goes “I tried to help you! And he says “You have a good foot on you.” Mind you, he’s playing for the other team, not mine lol. I say thank you and laugh.

Finally, it’s time for us to switch teams again and as we are walking off the field to get water her goes “man I need your skincare routine. You’re glistening!! I really need that skincare routine (while smiling).” After this I realized he was flirting with me.

I lingered on the field and talked to a few people and I didn’t see him, but then as I’m walking to my car and get in, I see him outside of his car kinda hanging out. The problem is: I’m already driving away, so it would be awkward to hop out of my car to go talk to him.

I knowwww I should have just did it. I’m so mad at myself. There is technically one way I can try and find him, but it’s a little embarrassing. I’d have to individually message like 4 guys with Spanish sounding last names to see if they’re him on the pickup soccer app we have. It tells you who went, but no profile pics. Should I do it or just take my loss for the day? I’ve never seen him play before, so I don’t know how long until I’ll see him again? Too desperate? 😭

Basically the title. At this point I think there’s actually something wrong with me.

Today, I went to play a pickup soccer game and this guy on the field randomly asks me about the necklace I’m wearing (basic heart locket). He goes “oh I thought you were from my country since we have a similar necklace/pendant.” I ask him what country he’s from and he says Spain.

Fast forward, we switch teams and my team is playing against his. He keeps talking to me while we are playing and says “sorry I didn’t mean to be rude. I meant to ask you where you were from, but I didn’t want to get in your way (I was walking to the other field). We keep playing and he’s asking me where I’m from, how long I’ve been in the state, etc.

During the game he passes me the ball to help me score a goal for my team. I almost get it in and he goes “I tried to help you! And he says “You have a good foot on you.” Mind you, he’s playing for the other team, not mine lol. I say thank you and laugh.

Finally, it’s time for us to switch teams again and as we are walking off the field to get water her goes “man I need your skincare routine. You’re glistening!! I really need that skincare routine (while smiling).” After this I realized he was flirting with me.

I lingered on the field and talked to a few people and I didn’t see him, but then as I’m walking to my car and get in, I see him outside of his car kinda hanging out. The problem is: I’m already driving away, so it would be awkward to hop out of my car to go talk to him.

I knowwww I should have just did it. I’m so mad at myself. There is technically one way I can try and find him, but it’s a little embarrassing. I’d have to individually message like 4 guys with Spanish sounding last names to see if they’re him on the pickup soccer app we have. It tells you who went, but no profile pics. Should I do it or just take my loss for the day? I’ve never seen him play before, so I don’t know how long until I’ll see him again? Too desperate? 😭

WHY DO I KEEP FUMBLING MY GOD 😭

How can I start realizing I’m the moment I’m being flirted with vs after the fact? Advice?

Basically the title. At this point I think there’s actually something wrong with me.

Today, I went to play a pickup soccer game and this guy on the field randomly asks me about the necklace I’m wearing (basic heart locket). He goes “oh I thought you were from my country since we have a similar necklace/pendant.” I ask him what country he’s from and he says Spain.

Fast forward, we switch teams and my team is playing against his. He keeps talking to me while we are playing and says “sorry I didn’t mean to be rude. I meant to ask you where you were from, but I didn’t want to get in your way (I was walking to the other field). We keep playing and he’s asking me where I’m from, how long I’ve been in the state, etc.

During the game he passes me the ball to help me score a goal for my team. I almost get it in and he goes “I tried to help you! And he says “You have a good foot on you.” Mind you, he’s playing for the other team, not mine lol. I say thank you and laugh.

Finally, it’s time for us to switch teams again and as we are walking off the field to get water her goes “man I need your skincare routine. You’re glistening!! I really need that skincare routine (while smiling).” After this I realized he was flirting with me.

I lingered on the field and talked to a few people and I didn’t see him, but then as I’m walking to my car and get in, I see him outside of his car kinda hanging out. The problem is: I’m already driving away, so it would be awkward to hop out of my car to go talk to him.

I knowwww I should have just did it. I’m so mad at myself. There is technically one way I can try and find him, but it’s a little embarrassing. I’d have to individually message like 4 guys with Spanish sounding last names to see if they’re him on the pickup soccer app we have. It tells you who went, but no profile pics. Should I do it or just take my loss for the day? I’ve never seen him play before, so I don’t know how long until I’ll see him again? Too desperate? 😭

WHY DO I KEEP FUMBLING MY GOD 😭

How can I start realizing I’m the moment I’m being flirted with vs after the fact? Advice?

So for background, I have a friend group of three. I’ve been friends with the both of them for 7 years and they’ve been friends for about 10. With one friend in particular, I’m starting to feel like maybe our 1-1 friendship is balanced.

So starting last year, I graduated from college and to celebrate, my parents offered to pay for mine and my friends flights and hotel to go to another state to see my aunt who was going to be showing us around the city and celebrating my graduation. Let’s call one friend, friend A (the one who I feel like our relationship is unbalanced) and the other friend B. During that time, friend A was almost avoiding answering definitively whether or not she could come and my parents needed to know if they could go ahead and purchase two tickets or three since friend B confirmed she was coming.

Right before the trip, friend A says she can’t go and I understood. Later she cited that she couldn’t afford to go, but my aunt paid for any expensive dinners (only 1), my dad paid for flights and hotel, and all other expenses are just anything we bought individually at the mall or coffee. I still respect her decision because you never know where someone is at financially and I just want to be a good friend.

Fast forward to her birthday, friend B and I both took the day off of work to hang out with her and we took her to two coffee shops, a fall festival, dinner, and a few other boutique shops. I spent around $150 on her birthday. I don’t care about the money, but it’s something to keep in mind when I explain what we did for my birthday.

For my birthday, Friend B and I hung out after she got off of work, but friend A had work, which I understand. She said happy birthday via text, but that’s the full extent of how my birthday was celebrated. No plans or anything. I’m not big on spending money for my birthday, but it would have been nice to have a group hangout initiated like for their birthdays

For friend B’s birthday, friend A took off of work for two days, she made sure to get her a whole cake, decorated their apartment, got her a few gifts, etc. When we took friend B to brunch, normally for birthdays two of us split the cost of going out to eat and the birthday person doesn’t pay, but this day, when the waiter came and asked how we wanted to split the check, she goes “I’ll pay for mine and hers (Friend B)”, and I just paid for my own tab.

Now that she’s graduating this year from college, her parents are having a grad dinner at a steakhouse in the city. Friend B texts me and asks if I’m working on the day of Friend A’s dinner and if I wanted to come. I do work and I was willing to drive into the city after to go to her dinner, but now that I’m thinking about it, I’m unsure. Not sure if I’m being dramatic, but I don’t really get why Friend A didn’t ask me directly instead of through friend B.

Does this seem like an unequal friendship? Am I being dramatic?

So for background, I 23F have a friend group of three. I’ve been friends with the both of them for 7 years and they’ve been friends for about 10. With one friend in particular, I’m starting to feel like maybe our 1-1 friendship is balanced.

So starting last year, I graduated from college and to celebrate, my parents offered to pay for mine and my friends flights and hotel to go to another nearby state to see my aunt who was going to be showing us around the city and celebrating my graduation. My parents are not rich by any means (they live below their means, save a lot, we live in a rural part of our state, I stayed home for college and drove rather than stay on campus to save money, and we’ve never gone on vacation for perspective). It was just their gift to me for finishing college.

Let’s call one friend, friend A (the one who I feel like our relationship is unbalanced) and the other friend B. During that time, friend A was almost avoiding answering definitively whether or not she could come and my parents needed to know if they could go ahead and purchase two tickets or three since friend B confirmed she was coming.

Right before the trip, friend A says she can’t go and I understood. Later she cited that she couldn’t afford to go, but my aunt paid for any expensive dinners (only 1), my dad paid for flights and hotel, and all other expenses are just anything we bought individually at the mall or coffee. I still respect her decision because you never know where someone is at financially and I just want to be a good friend.

Fast forward to her birthday, friend B and I both took the day off of work to hang out with her and we took her to two coffee shops, a fall festival, dinner, and a few other boutique shops. I spent around $150 on her birthday. I don’t care about the money, but it’s something to keep in mind when I explain what we did for my birthday.

For my birthday, Friend B and I hung out after she got off of work, but friend A had work, which I understand. She said happy birthday via text, but that’s the full extent of how my birthday was celebrated. No plans or anything. I’m not big on spending money for my birthday, but it would have been nice to have a group hangout initiated like for their birthdays

For friend B’s birthday, friend A took off of work for two days, she made sure to get her a whole cake, decorated their apartment, got her a few gifts, etc. When we took friend B to brunch, normally for birthdays two of us split the cost of going out to eat and the birthday person doesn’t pay, but this day, when the waiter came and asked how we wanted to split the check, she goes “I’ll pay for mine and hers (Friend B)”, and I just paid for my own tab.

Now that she’s graduating this year from college, her parents are having a grad dinner at a steakhouse in the city. Friend B texts me and asks if I’m working on the day of Friend A’s dinner and if I wanted to come. I do work and I was willing to drive into the city after to go to her dinner, but now that I’m thinking about it, I’m unsure. Not sure if I’m being dramatic, but I don’t really get why Friend A didn’t ask me directly instead of through friend B.

Does this seem like an unequal friendship? Am I being dramatic? Should I even go to the dinner if friend A hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it and I found out through friend B? What would you all do?

Is my longterm friendship unbalanced? Should I not go to her graduation dinner?

So for background, I have a friend group of three. I’ve been friends with the both of them for 7 years and they’ve been friends for about 10. With one friend in particular, I’m starting to feel like maybe our 1-1 friendship is balanced.

So starting last year, I graduated from college and to celebrate, my parents offered to pay for mine and my friends flights and hotel to go to another state to see my aunt who was going to be showing us around the city and celebrating my graduation. Let’s call one friend, friend A (the one who I feel like our relationship is unbalanced) and the other friend B. During that time, friend A was almost avoiding answering definitively whether or not she could come and my parents needed to know if they could go ahead and purchase two tickets or three since friend B confirmed she was coming.

Right before the trip, friend A says she can’t go and I understood. Later she cited that she couldn’t afford to go, but my aunt paid for any expensive dinners (only 1), my dad paid for flights and hotel, and all other expenses are just anything we bought individually at the mall or coffee. I still respect her decision because you never know where someone is at financially and I just want to be a good friend.

Fast forward to her birthday, friend B and I both took the day off of work to hang out with her and we took her to two coffee shops, a fall festival, dinner, and a few other boutique shops. I spent around $150 on her birthday. I don’t care about the money, but it’s something to keep in mind when I explain what we did for my birthday.

For my birthday, Friend B and I hung out after she got off of work, but friend A had work, which I understand. She said happy birthday via text, but that’s the full extent of how my birthday was celebrated. No plans or anything. I’m not big on spending money for my birthday, but it would have been nice to have a group hangout initiated like for their birthdays

For friend B’s birthday, friend A took off of work for two days, she made sure to get her a whole cake, decorated their apartment, got her a few gifts, etc. When we took friend B to brunch, normally for birthdays two of us split the cost of going out to eat and the birthday person doesn’t pay, but this day, when the waiter came and asked how we wanted to split the check, she goes “I’ll pay for mine and hers (Friend B)”, and I just paid for my own tab.

Now that she’s graduating this year from college, her parents are having a grad dinner at a steakhouse in the city. Friend B texts me and asks if I’m working on the day of Friend A’s dinner and if I wanted to come. I do work and I was willing to drive into the city after to go to her dinner, but now that I’m thinking about it, I’m unsure. Not sure if I’m being dramatic, but I don’t really get why Friend A didn’t ask me directly instead of through friend B.

AITAH? Does this seem like an unequal friendship? Should I even go to the dinner if friend A hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it and I found out through friend B? What would you all do?

So for background, I have a friend group of three. I’ve been friends with the both of them for 7 years and they’ve been friends for about 10. With one friend in particular, I’m starting to feel like maybe our 1-1 friendship is balanced.

So starting last year, I graduated from college and to celebrate, my parents offered to pay for mine and my friends flights and hotel to go to another state to see my aunt who was going to be showing us around the city and celebrating my graduation. Let’s call one friend, friend A (the one who I feel like our relationship is unbalanced) and the other friend B. During that time, friend A was almost avoiding answering definitively whether or not she could come and my parents needed to know if they could go ahead and purchase two tickets or three since friend B confirmed she was coming.

Right before the trip, friend A says she can’t go and I understood. Later she cited that she couldn’t afford to go, but my aunt paid for any expensive dinners (only 1), my dad paid for flights and hotel, and all other expenses are just anything we bought individually at the mall or coffee. I still respect her decision because you never know where someone is at financially and I just want to be a good friend.

Fast forward to her birthday, friend B and I both took the day off of work to hang out with her and we took her to two coffee shops, a fall festival, dinner, and a few other boutique shops. I spent around $150 on her birthday. I don’t care about the money, but it’s something to keep in mind when I explain what we did for my birthday.

For my birthday, Friend B and I hung out after she got off of work, but friend A had work, which I understand. She said happy birthday via text, but that’s the full extent of how my birthday was celebrated. No plans or anything. I’m not big on spending money for my birthday, but it would have been nice to have a group hangout initiated like for their birthdays

For friend B’s birthday, friend A took off of work for two days, she made sure to get her a whole cake, decorated their apartment, got her a few gifts, etc. When we took friend B to brunch, normally for birthdays two of us split the cost of going out to eat and the birthday person doesn’t pay, but this day, when the waiter came and asked how we wanted to split the check, she goes “I’ll pay for mine and hers (Friend B)”, and I just paid for my own tab.

Now that she’s graduating this year from college, her parents are having a grad dinner at a steakhouse in the city. Friend B texts me and asks if I’m working on the day of Friend A’s dinner and if I wanted to come. I do work and I was willing to drive into the city after to go to her dinner, but now that I’m thinking about it, I’m unsure. Not sure if I’m being dramatic, but I don’t really get why Friend A didn’t ask me directly instead of through friend B.

Does this seem like an unequal friendship? Am I being dramatic? Should I even go to the dinner if friend A hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it and I found out through friend B? What would you all do?

There’s a guy who introduced himself to me last week and I think he’s cute. Only problem I have with asking him out is that I know I’m going to have to continue to see him if I ask him out and he says no. This is totally fine and I’m okay with rejection, but I’m wondering if the proximity after the fact could make things awkward. Or if he’s an asshole and tells everyone else.

Should I give it more time to feel things out? See if there’s any chemistry?

I’m not saying I won’t, but I’d like to proceed with caution. Do any of you have any stories of asking a girl out from a hobby you share? What happened? Would you do it again, why or why not?

So I went to a post hobby meet up yesterday night. We all met at a local bar and sat and talked for about 2-3 hours. The guy I ended up sitting next to went to get an extra chair and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I ended up forgetting my drivers license at home, so I got a non alcoholic drink. He asked me what I head having and I told him and he offered to get me a drink. I accepted and we talked on and off and with everyone else we were sitting with for the rest of the time at the bar. He was having a beer and I’ve never had beer before since I’m not much of a drinker , so I asked him what it taste like and he said I could take a sip out of his drink. I drank a little and then I asked him a few more beer related questions just to be engaging and keep the convo going.

He smelled really good and I wanted to tell him that to try and show interest, but I didn’t know if that would be weird lmao. My friend said I should have said it, but of course, my nerves got the best of me.

This is where I messed up. As we are all getting up and saying good night, I go to tell him thank you again for the drink and that I really appreciated it. He said it was no big deal at all as he put his hand on my shoulder maybe 2 second and sigh…..I fist bumped him since everyone was doing it to each other as they left.

I feel so bad and wimpy for not going for it and my friend told me I was being super oblivious and that it was obvious that he wouldn’t have a gf or say not to me giving him my number.

Thankfully, I see him again in two weeks when our group restarts or sooner if I go to a match and he’s also playing this weekend.

What do you guys think? Was I being oblivious or was he being nice? Can I still make it known that I like him the next time I see him or did I fully fumble?

Did I miss my shot with this guy at the bar last night?

So I went to a post hobby meet up yesterday night. We all met at a local bar and sat and talked for about 2-3 hours. The guy I ended up sitting next to went to get an extra chair and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I ended up forgetting my drivers license at home, so I got a non alcoholic drink. He asked me what I head having and I told him and he offered to get me a drink. I accepted and we talked on and off and with everyone else we were sitting with for the rest of the time at the bar. He was having a beer and I’ve never had beer before since I’m not much of a drinker , so I asked him what it taste like and he said I could take a sip out of his drink. I drank a little and then I asked him a few more beer related questions just to be engaging and keep the convo going.

He smelled really good and I wanted to tell him that to try and show interest, but I didn’t know if that would be weird lmao. My friend said I should have said it, but of course, my nerves got the best of me.

This is where I messed up. As we are all getting up and saying good night, I go to tell him thank you again for the drink and that I really appreciated it. He said it was no big deal at all as he put his hand on my shoulder maybe 2 second and sigh…..I fist bumped him since everyone was doing it to each other as they left.

I feel like shittttttt for not going for it and my friend told me I was being super oblivious and that it was obvious that he wouldn’t have a gf or say not to me giving him my number.

Thankfully, I see him again in two weeks when our group restarts or sooner if I go to a match and he’s also playing this weekend.

What do you guys think? Was I being oblivious or was he being nice? Can I still make it known that I like him the next time I see him or did I fully fumble?

So I went to a post hobby meet up yesterday night. We all met at a local bar and sat and talked for about 2-3 hours. The guy I ended up sitting next to went to get an extra chair and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I ended up forgetting my drivers license at home, so I got a non alcoholic drink. He asked me what I head having and I told him and he offered to get me a drink. I accepted and we talked on and off and with everyone else we were sitting with for the rest of the time at the bar. He was having a beer and I’ve never had beer before since I’m not much of a drinker , so I asked him what it taste like and he said I could take a sip out of his drink. I drank a little and then I asked him a few more beer related questions just to be engaging and keep the convo going.

He smelled really good and I wanted to tell him that to try and show interest, but I didn’t know if that would be weird lmao. My friend said I should have said it, but of course, my nerves got the best of me.

This is where I fucked up. As we are all getting up and saying good night, I go to tell him thank you again for the drink and that I really appreciated it. He said it was no big deal at all as he put his hand on my shoulder and sigh…..I fist bumped him since everyone was doing it to each other.

I feel like shittttttt for not going for it and my friend told me I was being super oblivious and that it was obvious that he wouldn’t have a gf or say not to me giving him my number.

Thankfully, I see him again in two weeks when our group restarts or sooner if I go to a match and he’s also playing this weekend. Alternatively, I could ask someone I know if they have his social media since two weeks is a while.

What do you guys think? Was I being oblivious or was he being nice? Can I redeem my chance with this guy? What can I do?

So I went to a post hobby meet up yesterday night. We all met at a local bar and sat and talked for about 2-3 hours. The guy I ended up sitting next to went to get an extra chair and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I ended up forgetting my drivers license at home, so I got a non alcoholic drink. He asked me what I head having and I told him and he offered to get me a drink. I accepted and we talked on and off and with everyone else we were sitting with for the rest of the time at the bar. He was having a beer and I’ve never had beer before since I’m not much of a drinker , so I asked him what it taste like and he said I could take a sip out of his drink. I drank a little and then I asked him a few more beer related questions just to be engaging and keep the convo going.

He smelled really good and I wanted to tell him that to try and show interest, but I didn’t know if that would be weird lmao. My friend said I should have said it, but of course, my nerves got the best of me.

This is where I fucked up. As we are all getting up and saying good night, I go to tell him thank you again for the drink and that I really appreciated it. He said it was no big deal at all as he put his hand on my shoulder and sigh…..I fist bumped him since everyone was doing it to each other.

I feel like shittttttt for not going for it and my friend told me I was being super oblivious and that it was obvious that he wouldn’t have a gf or say not to me giving him my number.

Thankfully, I see him again in two weeks when our group restarts or sooner if I go to a match and he’s also playing this weekend.

AIO? Was I being oblivious or was he being nice? Advice?

So I went to a post hobby meet up yesterday night. We all met at a local bar and sat and talked for about 2-3 hours. The guy I ended up sitting next to went to get an extra chair and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I ended up forgetting my drivers license at home, so I got a non alcoholic drink. He asked me what I head having and I told him and he offered to get me a drink. I accepted and we talked on and off and with everyone else we were sitting with for the rest of the time at the bar. He was having a beer and I’ve never had beer before since I’m not much of a drinker , so I asked him what it taste like and he said I could take a sip out of his drink. I drank a little and then I asked him a few more beer related questions just to be engaging and keep the convo going.

He smelled really good and I wanted to tell him that to try and show interest, but I didn’t know if that would be weird lmao. My friend said I should have said it, but of course, my nerves got the best of me.

This is where I fucked up. As we are all getting up and saying good night, I go to tell him thank you again for the drink and that I really appreciated it. He said it was no big deal at all as he put his hand on my shoulder and sigh…..I fist bumped him since everyone was doing it to each other.

I feel like shittttttt for not going for it and my friend told me I was being super oblivious and that it was obvious that he wouldn’t have a gf or say not to me giving him my number.

Thankfully, I see him again in two weeks when our group restarts or sooner if I go to a match and he’s also playing this weekend.

What do you guys think? Was I being oblivious or was he being nice?

So I went to a post hobby meet up yesterday night. We all met at a local bar and sat and talked for about 2-3 hours. The guy I ended up sitting next to went to get an extra chair and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I ended up forgetting my drivers license at home, so I got a non alcoholic drink. He asked me what I head having and I told him and he offered to get me a drink. I accepted and we talked on and off and with everyone else we were sitting with for the rest of the time at the bar. He was having a beer and I’ve never had beer before since I’m not much of a drinker , so I asked him what it taste like and he said I could take a sip out of his drink. I drank a little and then I asked him a few more beer related questions just to be engaging and keep the convo going.

He smelled really good and I wanted to tell him that to try and show interest, but I didn’t know if that would be weird lmao. My friend said I should have said it, but of course, my nerves got the best of me.

This is where I fucked up. As we are all getting up and saying good night, I go to tell him thank you again for the drink and that I really appreciated it. He said it was no big deal at all as he put his hand on my shoulder and sigh…..I fist bumped him since everyone was doing it to each other.

I feel like shittttttt for not going for it and my friend told me I was being super oblivious and that it was obvious that he wouldn’t have a gf or say not to me giving him my number.

Thankfully, I see him again in two weeks when our group restarts or sooner if I go to a match and he’s also playing this weekend.

What do you guys think? Was I being oblivious or was he being nice?

So I went to a post hobby meet up yesterday night. We all met at a local bar and sat and talked for about 2-3 hours. The guy I ended up sitting next to went to get an extra chair and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I ended up forgetting my drivers license at home, so I got a non alcoholic drink. He asked me what I head having and I told him and he offered to get me a drink. I accepted and we talked on and off and with everyone else we were sitting with for the rest of the time at the bar. He was having a beer and I’ve never had beer before since I’m not much of a drinker , so I asked him what it taste like and he said I could take a sip out of his drink. I drank a little and then I asked him a few more beer related questions just to be engaging and keep the convo going.

He smelled really good and I wanted to tell him that to try and show interest, but I didn’t know if that would be weird lmao. My friend said I should have said it, but of course, my nerves got the best of me.

This is where I fucked up. As we are all getting up and saying good night, I go to tell him thank you again for the drink and that I really appreciated it. He said it was no big deal at all as he put his hand on my shoulder and sigh…..I fist bumped him since everyone was doing it to each other.

I feel like shittttttt for not going for it and my friend told me I was being super oblivious and that it was obvious that he wouldn’t have a gf or say not to me giving him my number.

Thankfully, I see him again in two weeks when our group restarts or sooner if I go to a match and he’s also playing this weekend.

What do you guys think? Was I being oblivious or was he being nice?

So since swearing off the apps forever, I’ve (23F) decided I’m only going to date guys that I meet in person. Whether that be through hobbies, events, coffee shops, etc.

For those of you who don’t use the apps or only date in person, did you notice a difference in the quality of people you went on dates with or just in general?
Do you think there’s a difference between your experiences on the apps and off the apps?

So since swearing off the apps forever, I’ve (23F) decided I’m only going to date guys that I meet in person. Whether that be through hobbies, events, coffee shops, etc.

For those of you who don’t use the apps or only date in person, did you notice a difference in the quality of people you went on dates with or just in general?
Do you think there’s a difference between your experiences on the apps and off the apps?

So I’m at a weird stage in life where I’m a regular adult, but I just don’t have the sexual experience that most women my age (23) have.

In the past, I’ve had short dating stints where I’ll be dating a guy for a month or so while being upfront about my lack of experience and desire to kind of take things at a moderate pace. Eventually, something happens where an incompatibility is revealed or I find out they’re still talking to other girls after communicating that I only want to date guys
that want to date one person (and them agreeing).

On one hand, It’s great because I didn’t sleep with them, but now I feel like I have to keep prolonging the vetting period to keep myself from having sex with a guy that will eventually reveal in the early stages that we aren’t compatible. Especially when a lot of guys have a certain date or month that they expect sex. I’m not religious also, I just want to be in a committed relationships when I do have sex

How can I have a healthy approach or mindset to this without potentially shrinking my dating pool? Should I be upfront about the fact that I’m a virgin and want to wait until full exclusivity to have sex or just be vague and let the guy know I want to take things slow without telling him I’m a virgin?

I understand that I could marry the guy I have sex with on the first date, but I’m also taking into account how my past experiences prolonging sex has helped weed out the guys that I wasn’t meant to be with anyway.

Advice?

So I’m at a weird stage in life where I’m a regular adult, but I just don’t have the sexual experience that most women my age (23) have.

In the past, I’ve had short dating stints where I’ll be dating a guy for a month or so while being upfront about my lack of experience and desire to kind of take things at a moderate pace. Eventually, something happens where an incompatibility is revealed or I find out they’re still talking to other girls after communicating that I only want to date guys
that want to date one person (and them agreeing).

On one hand, It’s great because I didn’t sleep with them, but now I feel like I have to keep prolonging the vetting period to keep myself from having sex with a guy that will eventually reveal in the early stages that we aren’t compatible. Especially when a lot of guys have a certain date or month that they expect sex. I’m not religious also, I just want to be in a committed relationships when I do have sex

How can I have a healthy approach or mindset to this without potentially shrinking my dating pool? Should I be upfront about the fact that I’m a virgin and want to wait until full exclusivity to have sex or just be vague and let the guy know I want to take things slow without telling him I’m a virgin?

I understand that I could marry the guy I have sex with on the first date, but I’m also taking into account how my past experiences prolonging sex has helped weed out the guys that I wasn’t meant to be with anyway.

Advice?

Today at my job, I 23F had a brief encounter with a customer. For extra money, I work as a barista on the weekends and there’s a regular that usually comes in and sits for a while. He’s very grandpa coded and very nice to all of us.

I had to walk outside to get something and while I’m walking back in, he calls my name (we know he’s name and he knows most of our names) and motions for me to come over.

He says, “How come you always look so serious? You should smile a more! You’re such a pretty girl!”

I started laughing and he starts pointing “There just like that!” I explained that that’s how my expression sits naturally unless I make an effort to not look serious or I’m laughing. I’ve been told that I have a beautiful smile (even by my dentist and dental hygienist lol) , but I just don’t get how people can walk around smiling all the time. I’ve yet to master how to keep a subtle smile on my face.

And last week, someone said I had rbf and it made me think about if unknowingly shooting my self in the foot by scaring off guys lol.

Should I take this customers advice? Does being more smiley make it easier for guys to talk to you in a romantic context?