r/AskWomenNoCensor

I’ll go first. Having to decide if he’s into you or wants to get into you. I’m not saying men can’t get played, getting played is on a much larger scale for women in comparison to men. From talking to other women and by corroborating experiences, men are more likely to pretend to meet their standards (with the intention of sleeping with them) instead of self-improvement or going for someone on their level. This can be very hard for us women and it’s not fair that we have to decide if he sees a future with us or is with us for a good time

There was a survey response on what others considered to be SA. Of those polled, 13% said that the scenario of  “Sage and Taylor have been in a relationship for two years. Sage asks Taylor for sex, who doesn't really feel like it. But Taylor wants to make Sage happy, and has sex with Sage anyway.” was SA.

I was shocked. I thought having sex to make your partner happy/offering sex was normal. I do it all the time. I don’t feel coerced, I just use my body to make my partner feel good in that moment.

But on a queer centric sub, quite a few people still felt this was SA.

I know non-sexual ace people who have sexual relations with their partners to make them feel good who don’t seem upset by this. One person stated that even with consent, it’s still SA, because it’s not enthusiastic. This was a highly upvoted comment.

Have I been understanding consent poorly?

i, 20F, met this guy, 25M, at a party. he is the best friend of my friend’s cousin, and we kinda clicked when we first met at a party. we chatted for a time and he invited me to a bakery with my friend’s cousin, by that point i wasn’t sure of my interest but i gave him the chance anyway, to see how things would go

however, my friend spilled the beans and told me that he was just looking for an excuse to go on a date and that he had saved up for weeks for this bakery date. i played dumb as if i didn’t know that it was a date

it was the most uncomfortable thing ever.

he arrived late, it was at 3:00pm and i got there at 3:03 and then he got there at 3:17. we said hi and he bought me an iced tea, we went back to our tables and i just stared at him because i really didn’t know what to say. i imagine i looked VERY uncomfortable because he asked me like “are you uncomfortable?” and i said “yeah”

by this time my friend’s cousin wasn’t there yet, she arrived at 5 in the evening.

throughout the date i would stare at him and wait for him to speak because i couldn’t come up with topics. he also went to the bathroom 3 times and had me waiting 15 minutes each time.

however, i feel like i played part on it. for example, he asked me if i wanted something to eat, he asked twice, i said “no i don’t want to” and when we went to the shopping center i bought myself some cinnabon. while we were at the bakery he offered to walk with me around and i said “no i don’t want to walk with you, our friend is on the way” because she was. perhaps i was too dry?

he also doesn’t have the maturity i would expect for a 25 year old. he is studying photography, i didn’t have the heart to tell him he was lowk going to die of hunger (my dad is a photographer, photography here in my country is NOT doing good as of right now) and i asked him if he was going to get a more stable job as a backup while he did his photo gig

also i know i screwed up because when we were at the shopping center my friend’s cousin and my own friend joined us and when he left to answer a call i couldn’t help but ask my friend and her cousin if he was going bald. i genuinely thought he was because he was missing hair from when i first met him

when the date was over, at 9pm, and i left i didn’t let him hug me, he hesitated so i just said my goodbyes and left.

was i bitchy?

23f, which i know isn’t that old, but i never thought it would personally take me this long and it’s becoming pretty frustrating. been wanting to have sex for a while but i did not want to do it with someone whom i’m not in a committed relationship with. the problem is that i’ve never had feelings for anyone like that. i masturbate at least everyday and think about it constantly. the act itself i feel genuinely ready for, but i just don’t think i’ll meet the “right guy” like i had intended.

i’m currently seeing two people, 23m and 24m. i’ve only recently met 23m, he is a great guy, very sweet and respectful, and really wants to be my boyfriend. i really like this guy and feel safe with him, but i admittedly do not find him very attractive. the spark is not quite there.

24m has made it clear that he’s looking for something casual. he also happens to be my type physically. in the past i had never even considered the idea of casual sex, however i’m beginning to realize that romantic feelings for me are incredibly rare and holding out is sort of pointless. this guy i’m very attracted to sexually.

one of them makes me feel safe which i feel is important for my first time and the other makes me really horny, basically. i can’t seem to have both of these things at the same time. i also do not want to be celibate any longer. i believe i’m overthinking this so i would really appreciate some advice from other women.

Recently watched the Louis Theroux documentary about the manosphere, and it made me intrigued as to how much the behaviour of men towards women has changed in general over the past 10 years, especially given the increasing influence of incel figures like Andrew Tate and the rise of online misogyny in general.

I say 10 years because I have a feeling that this was a kind of turning point

I have heard a few stories from friends, dates and colleagues who are women, and im also interested to hear from a wider perspective

I recently realized that my idea of a "splurge" has completely shifted since my 20s. Back then, it was all about trendy clothes or a wild night out. Now, nothing makes me feel more like I’ve "made it" than buying the high-quality laundry detergent that smells amazing or finally investing in a matching set of linen sheets. It’s funny how the little things in our daily routine start to feel like the ultimate indulgence.

What is a small, everyday luxury you finally started spending money on in your 30s? Is there something "boring" that actually brings you an embarrassing amount of joy?

Honestly on my period I just want to end it sometimes it is even hard to breathe . But as soon as it’s over my mental health goes back to normal , i told my sister she told me i am young (20) that is why it is like this. Do you all feel like this ? Does it gets better?

I ran into my old boss from when I worked for a tug boat fleet in high school. Being a teenage girl working around roughnecks was an experience but they were all so kind, cool and welcoming. I did kind of a jack of all trades administrative job. Send invoices, order parts, contact the coast guard, get with pilots, agents, and mooring agencies… it was a lot but very direct in “this is the job, say what you mean and mean what you say” if that makes sense?

It was a lot of fun. It’s a pretty cowboy type of industry. I had my own parking spot, flexible hours, they paid me two weeks when I was taking my finals to stay home and study, all kinds of perks. We’re talking huge multi million dollar contracts run by a couple of average Joe regular guys who secured a loan and bought a push boat and made move. Not too many business models that run that way. They’ve grown substantially in the 18 years since I worked there but had I not become a doctor I’d weigh it as an option.

Women of Reddit — honest question:

Have you ever reconsidered a guy you initially rejected during a cold approach?

Like, maybe at the time you said no, but later thought he seemed like a genuinely good guy and wished you’d given him a chance?

Or is it usually a firm decision — once you reject someone in that moment, that’s it?

Curious how often second chances actually happen in real life.

I (28M) used to work with a coworker (same age range, F) in another city. We weren’t close, but we got along fine. When she transferred to my office, I tried to be welcoming—showed her around and made sure she felt comfortable. I was usually the one initiating conversation, and she was responsive but not overly engaged. At one point she mentioned that I “talk a lot” and sometimes prefers quieter interactions so she can focus.

Recently her behavior has shifted. She no longer greets me, avoids eye contact, and keeps her distance even when we cross paths. The only thing I can think of is that I sent her a message suggesting she use a neck rest at work since she had mentioned discomfort multiple times to me when sitting beside me. I meant it in a helpful way, but I’m wondering if that might have come across as too personal or inappropriate in some way since shes pregnant and has a husband (I never seen her that way to be honest).

Now things feel awkward since we work in the same office again, and I’m trying to understand how this kind of shift might be perceived.

My question is how would you interpret this behavior? Would this usually be seen as someone setting boundaries, feeling uncomfortable, or just wanting to keep things strictly professional?

I'm 24M and want to get back into dating after a very long hiatus and would like to maximize my chances in dating apps.

I'm not conventionally super attractive but I'm well put together with a good career and no addictions but I don't know if that's even considered in dating apps.

Genuine question to women on dating apps what attracts you in the dating app profiles and on first dates.

given women have so many options is it even possible for average men?

I'm still fairly young and open to learn and get better :)

If my girlfriend likes my face and hair and personality and calls me handsome and loves me, will she look atmore muscular, taller men with better biceps and veiny arms and all that?

For context:

I’ve been dating this girl for almost a year, and we have a family function coming up in a few weeks. The thing is, most of my cousins are tall and well built, muscular, big biceps and forearms kinda guys, and I’m the only shorter, slimmer guy in the family.

I’ve been feeling really insecure about it, especially worrying that she might compare me to them. I grew up being compared to them a lot by my parents, and even my ex-girlfriend used to compare me based on my body.

It’s been getting in my head lately. I know she likes my face and hair and calls me handsome, but I'm not sure about the body. I’m 26M and she’s 21F. What do I do to feel more secure 🙂

Will women look at other men with better bodies even if they like your face and personality and loves you?

Hello Ladies,

I came across some comments of straight women saying how they find women more attractive and men's fashion boring. I mean obviosly it's their opinion and they have a right for their opinion but it just made me wonder a bit so I am asking this out of pure curiosity.

So I am a 21yo gen z guy from Europe and eventho men's fashion offers less categories than women's it offers enough in my opinion. You can play with different types of tops and bottom pieces, shoes, jewerly and I mean in general, hair, piercings, body hair, beard and even light make-up is considered "masculine" or attrative by some women my age. Actually my best female friend likes guys witb nail polish and I kidna get it. I mean today there is no "one way to be masculine" and you also don't need to be it at all. And also I have a feeling male fitness, fashion and grooming really boomed in last decade like so fastly!

When it comes down to men I acknowledge that on average women put more into their apperiance because we live in a society in which you can be a successful man while looking like idk Trump 💀

So my question is, do women see men as attractive and men's fashion being the way it is, do women see it automatically as bad and boring? Personally I would say that I dress good and take care of myself and I actually get compliments from both girls and guys my age which I appreciate so much! Also I see tje beauty in the way male and female bodies are, I mean I like how we men are less curvy, more muscular and angukar and it can be elegant as well and how women are more curvy and smooth. Also the greater simplicity of male fashion was a advantage in a way in my eyes I mean you can look good without taking alot of time, like I can be ready in 5mins and then I can go out.

So what do you think, I hope it doesn't come across like weird question or so but it was kinda weird for me reading alot of women saying how they are into men... but finding them gross? 🧐

Galls please help! Brand new to this whole online dating and don’t understand how it should work.

I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple days over text and really like him. We’re going to do our first call tonight. What do I expect for this? I’m scared it’s gonna be awkward/idk what to talk about.

How soon after do you usually meet up for your first date? Do you reccomend texting/calling for a while first or meeting up fairly quick?

so we are married for a good 5 months and were dating before that for 2 years although we knew each other for almost our whole life and so does our families and he is the only guy I've ever been with ,both of us are 24 and ,lately I've had some issues I lost my job just two months before our wedding and was very stressed about my career and at that time too helped me ,he checks my wishlist or cart and just buys it for me although I don't like him spending his money on me like that and told him multiple times that I can get it for myself but I just can't say it without it sounding rude and ungrateful,he most of the times say that you can always payback anytime,just don't return the money and something like that and changes the topic,so after our marriage i have to shift to a tier 2 city with him cause he lives there with his parents and my biggest fear was being just a housewife,no disrespect to any homemakers out there it's just I never wanted that ,I also discussed to him about that and his response was that we have multiple workers in our home ,for everything and ya we do have them ,but they all won't eat something made by yk "someone not from their family" so the food is what I have to make and i was so furious about that too when I could have adjusted it was not even daily thing and my MIL helps me a lot , actually I help her she does the main part ,and I'm free most of my day and that is kind of making me more rude ,i try everyday to get a job and I can only do work from home again it was infuriating me even more ,I was just looking at all the negatives throughout my marriage and was making my and my partners life miserable

last night I was on my period,1st day and was having cramps, he came from work and bought me flowers , chocolates and icecream,but I was too fucking arrogant to him just cause the night before we had a little argument as I said I wanted to work ,and he was like there is no need for me to work or if I want to work I can work in his family business,it's a very big one but my point was that I want to do something of my own ,and a little argument and yeah he did said sorry though he was not completely wrong and i also gave him silent treatment in the morning before he went for work and he was still very sweet and i fucking hate myself for doing all that and i have been doing it for quite some time ,

so last night he bought ice cream,my favourite one ,to our bed and was trying to lighten my mood up ,but my stupid entitled ass threw that ice cream in the corner of our room ,and ig that was it he was not angry but just sad he left the room no word ,slept the night in another room and when I tried to make him comeback he said no and that tone is something I've never seen him in , he's very calm and funny type of guy I've rarely seen him stressed but now he was mad ,he went to one of his factory in another city before I even woke up ,he's was not picking up my calls i was crying the whole day but he called back and said" sorry for the way I reacted ,and i would be more patient and try to get your point" and before I can say he disconnected the call and switched off the mobile phone ( could me some protocol or something idk ) , right now I am feeling so much self hate ,no one from his family is rude to me or force me to do anything,yet i hurt him multiple times and I don't even get to apologise,he love me so much and deserve so much better , I don't know how to deal with this , I'm just feeling like a p.o.s ,is there anything i can do about it ?

Hi everyone, I'm 20M (who is also on the spectrum, albeit mildly) and I went clubbing for the first time recently and had a pretty fun time, and while I was there I noticed a few pretty women on the dance floor or off to the side, I wanted to talk with them but its really loud in there and hard to talk, so I wanted ask how to signal interest since I'm not the most intuitive with social skills, cheers!

for the women who don't normally wear perfume or makeup, what are the reasons for the seemingly random times that you do?

Hello so I am 27 and 3 years ago made a pact with myself to never watch porn or any suggestive videos again and have been successful. I deleted all social media besides Reddit and YouTube. To be quite honest we never know when we are going to die. Through this experience I have been chasing many girls once giving this up. I never bring it up (sex) but most the time it always leads to it after the first date. I absolutely love that, but every time the relationship always seems to fizzle out before 3 months. I feel like girls use me to get over their ex to be quite honest or just for a good time. That is fine; however, do women only cut you off fully when they find a new man? Maybe because I am unserious they look for someone serious? I don’t know it would be nice though to have one friends with benefits and stop having to start over all the time. After these relationships end I am always so tempted to download a new app, but I never want to turn to videos again. Any advice would be appreciated so the relationship does not fizzle out and I lose someone who trauma dumped on me. I considered them great friends and always made sure they were taken care of, but I can’t say they felt the same or maybe only found someone new or get bored I guess. Had to repost this since it was removed for not having question in title, but my main question is since we had sex on the first date does that mean they take me as someone unserious even though I pay for dates and do fun activities?