r/AskMenAdvice

Hi everyone,

I (25M) was in a relationship with my fiancée (23F) for 3 years. I proposed in October 2025, and up until recently I genuinely thought we were happy.

Last week, she told me she’d met a guy at the gym. Over a few weeks, they got to know each other and she developed feelings for him. When he asked her out, it made her question our relationship, and she decided to end things.

I’m still trying to process it. The shock has worn off and now it’s just… heavy. I’m dealing with anxiety, poor sleep, no appetite, and I can’t focus properly. I wear a smart watch and even my resting heart rate has been noticeably higher.

I’ve got a high-pressure job and I’m worried this is going to start affecting my performance. I’m already going to the gym daily and taking magnesium and melatonin, but I still feel constantly on edge and nauseous (seriously I feel like I could vomit throughout the day).

If anyone has been through something similar, how did you cope in those first few weeks? How do you calm your body down, sleep better, and start to feel even a little bit normal again? Is there any medication I can take to help with the anxiety and nausea?

I’d really appreciate the advice because it could help me greatly through a challenging time. Thank you.

First of all, I just wanna preface this by saying I had no idea how to phrase this question without sounding weird, so I wanna clarify this is genuinely coming from a place of curiosity

I (20m) matched with a girl (20f) on a dating app about a month ago, we've been talking and going on a bunch of dates since then and agreed to be exclusive

Thing is, this is my first relationship ever, so I have no sexual experience and as such I dont know how to escalate things intimately, like the idea of sex is so foreign to me I dont even know where to start

Just the idea of me trying to ask for sex just makes me feel like a creep and I dont know why I feel this way

I dont wanna ask my friends because this seems too personal and awkward for me so id rather just ask the strangers of the internet

Thank you for reading

this is how it all started. one day my erection was weak and after finishing masturbation i went into flatline for some days. no libido and i felt asexual. lost random erections and morning woods too. this is pied right?afaik pied is the inability to get erection with a partner but here i am unable to get erection even with porn . is it pied or something else?

How common is it for your significant other to be "obsessed with you" and for how long?

My fiance is great. She works from home, cooks, cleans, and is always down to give me head or a fuck.

I feel very lucky to have her and dont want her feelings to eventually subside.

We are both 30 years old and have been together 4 years. She is still as excited to see me as the day we met.

Does or did your wife ever quit enjoying your company or doing things for you?

Okay I’m just wondering if guys actually care so I’m here to ask if you care or what you prefer cause I don’t know what to do anymore lol

I’ve noticed a pattern lately where I get home from work, sit on the couch for "just a minute," and suddenly it’s three hours later and I’ve done absolutely nothing. I’m exhausted from the day, but I hate that my entire evening disappears into a black hole of mindless scrolling or half-watching Netflix. I want to actually enjoy my hobbies or get stuff done, but the mental wall is real.

What are some small, low-effort habits you guys use to transition from "work mode" to "real life mode" without crashing? Do you have a specific routine or a "rule" that helps you stay productive (or at least present) in the evenings?

I asked 3 women out this week. 1st one was on Monday and someone I run into going to work most days. We commute on the same bus and train and often run into each other at a store near my job. She seemed cool, I wanted to get to know her better at a better place than scattered run ins and bus rides but of course she rejected me.

Another woman was a couple of days ago at a work function and someone I only knew for a few hours. We talked alot in that time, joked during a meeting, talked about videogames and other non-work related things. I don't even remember how we started talking, it just happened and she kept seemingly finding excuses to talk more so I just went for it.

The 3rd woman who turned me down was someone at my gym I've known for awhile and chat occasionally. I was expecting a rejection but just went for it because why not? Told her sorry I bothered her and said nothing again for the of the night, probably going to be the last thing I ever say to her.

These weren't 'bad' rejections per say, just got 'no' when asking to hang out or go on a date. How often do other guys feel dejected after this? I try not to be irrational about rejection but I'm 45 and it's all I ever known, it's hard to not have thoughts of bitterness or feeling like entire interactions were wastes of time.

I've heard the advice to accept rejection gracefully and while I do agree with that in spirit, in the last few years I almost just shut down. I don't care if I made them uncomfortable, end conversations asap and don't want to interact with them ever again.

29m that's wanted to be a father since I was a kid. The want waned in my early 20s but came back with intensity around 25 or so.

But as I make the march towards 30 having never even had a date, let alone a girlfriend or interest at all from women, kinda have to face reality that it's not happening. However the want and desire kinda eats me alive.

I've tried to just *do* more, picked up airsoft and billiards as hobbies, I go to the gym, learned to actually cook fairly complex little meals for myself. Hoping to pick up motorcycling and snowboarding this winter/next summer too.

Tried therapy for like a year and felt like I was getting nothing out of it aside from spending Canada Life's insurance money on it lol.

But those 12am thoughts and wants and regrets still dominate my mental space whenever I stop doing stuff. Just wanna know from others if that goes away, or how you were able to get them to at least ease.

And yea I know all the "but such and such met his wife and had kids in his 30s". Probably didnt have literally 0 dating history going in though lol. So, I'm not super interested in those anecdotes or being told to just try. I tried, I failed. Is what it is.

I (26F) recently went on 2 dates with a guy who I met on Hinge (33M). I put on my profile that I want a long term relationship and kids. He put on his that he’s looking for long term, open to short and left off his preference on kids other than that he doesn’t have them.

On the second date the topic of kids came up. I told him that I want kids but I think I’d still be happy without them if it didn’t work out. He said he truly could go either way, he’s fine with having a kid but if someone he met didn’t want them it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for him. He said he saw I had want kids on my profile and it wasn’t a dealbreaker for him either and he still went out with me. He said he leaves the preference off his profile so he can explain his view on it when it comes up. He did say he doesn’t think he’d want more than 1 kid though which is fine for me as I only want 1-2.

The thing he said that I’m not sure how I feel about is that he doesn’t love dating women his age in his 30’s who want kids because if they do they want to move at a much faster pace than he does, because if they want kids it has to happen soon. He said because of this he prefers to date 26-27 year old women who have plenty of time. I’m not in a rush to have kids although ideally I’d want to have one before the age of 35 so I feel like I have plenty of time for that. Although I’m wondering what people’s thoughts are on this. Part of me wonders if I’ll get to my early 30’s with someone with this view and he won’t be ready or doesn’t really want them. Looking for men’s perspective on if this is a common view.

My husband’s birthday is coming up and I’m conflicted about what to get him.

I know he really wants a PS5, and I can technically afford it, but it’s still a big purchase for me. It’s not something I’d buy casually it would definitely feel like a financial purchase i need to think about.

Where i live the PS5 and two controllers are around $1000

The thing is, when it comes to gifts, he’s always been thoughtful but more moderate with spending. For my birthday and Valentine’s Day, he spent around $200–$250 total, which I was completely happy with. He’s never gone anywhere near the price of a PS5.

So now I’m unsure on one hand, I’d love to make him happy and get him something I know he really wants. On the other hand, it feels like a big jump in spending compared to what he usually do for me, and I don’t know if that’s a good idea financially or in terms of expectations.

Please give me your advice i need it

Edit: I think what’s making me hesitate is the expectations side of things.

He does want the PS5, and it’s around $1,000. But for my birthday and Valentine’s Day, I also had things I wanted in that kind of price range like a certain gold jewelry or a specific bag i told him about many times,and he didn’t go anywhere near that. He kept things simpler, which I still appreciated.

So now I’m a bit stuck. I do want to get him something he’ll really love, but at the same time, he’s never really spent in that price range on me, so I’m not sure if it makes sense for me to go that far either.

Ever since COVID, I’ve become a total homebody. I’ve learned to love my own company, but the side effect is that my social and romantic lives have hit zero. I’m turning 30 this year, and lately, I’ve been waking up with that heavy "I'll die alone if I keep living like this" feeling.

I’m not socially anxious. People tell me I’m fun to be around, and when I do go out, I have a great time. But once the night ends, I struggle to maintain the momentum. Dating apps feel unnatural to me, and casual hangouts seem to fizzle out after one or two meets. I want the marriage and the friend group but part of it feels like from trying to fit into societal norms.

To the guys who have been here: How did you do it?

I had a discussion with my friend about this yesterday. We’re both women. She was getting really passionate about society and this and that and men don’t walk up to women anymore because it’s taboo.

She was flipping flopping between that and saying when her mom was younger she remembers men honking at her mom on the streets. “That was ‘normal and appropriate’ and now no one’s does that at all” (thank goodness though right) or even “walks up to a woman for real is what”

Now I wasn’t around in the olden times, but I don’t think there to be any noteworthy decrease or shift in men approaching women and I rarely get approached.

I actually have been honked at in the streets before. She was there but that was Jamaica and it was older men. So she said it’s different and kind of validates her point.

Anyway, I digress what do y’all think as men? Do you feel scared to walk up to women? Is it your own anxiety or do you genuinely feel societal pressure not to?

Edit: I wrote this not too long after I woke up I said older generation but definitely meant millennials and up 😪

I don’t know if I am being unreasonable, but it saddens me last month I had sex with my partner twice. He doesn’t stay home 24/7, he is a pipeliner and works two hours away from home and stays in our RV. He comes every weekend and sometimes once a day during the week. We had an argument and we had no intimacy at all for like two weeks. We went on a roadtrip and he is the one that drives all the time but today we got home and he knows the girls will sleep late tonight but he doesn’t even touch me kind of at all, it feels weird like how does a man not want to be all over his wife or think about sex once we get home. He already went to sleep because he’s tired but he didn’t even tell me you wake me up through the night or you he didn’t even say “let me put in alarm to wake up early to have sex”. I have already told him how I feel weird we don’t have sex for long when we get into an argument and he turns it on me. I really thought tonight he was going to try to stay awake late with me so we can have sex. How do I even take this? I don’t want to beg for sex at all, do I just wait until he makes the first move?

About me 5 8 165 lbs I lift and do cardio every single day

Hey everyone, looking for some honest advice because this has been stressing me out for a while.

I’m 27 and lost my virginity last year. Since then, I’ve had a recurring issue where I either can’t get fully hard during sex, or I do get hard but lose it after a minute or two—especially during penetration. Usually ends with the girl finishing me off with a hand job.

I went to a doctor and was prescribed Viagra (tried both 25mg and 100mg). It definitely helps me get hard initially, but I still lose the erection during sex, which is confusing.

Some other context:

I’ve been watching porn regularly for years and currently masturbate pretty much every day

I feel like I’m used to a certain type of stimulation (probably more intense than real sex)

I also catch myself thinking during sex like “don’t lose it” which probably doesn’t help

Another thing is I feel like real sex doesn’t match what I’m used to seeing in porn, and I’m wondering if that’s affecting my arousal.

So I guess my questions are:

Could this be porn-induced ED or something mental rather than physical?

Has anyone gone through something similar and fixed it?

Should I stop porn/masturbation completely for a while?

Why would Viagra work at first but not keep me hard?

Appreciate any advice or experiences. This has been pretty frustrating and I want to figure it out.

When we went into the room, he went in the toilet. At first it was 5 minutes , then progressed to 40 minutes . And when he came out the smell was everywhere in the room , it was so pungent. The toilet bowl apparently had some remnants of shit too, that he didnt flush . Am i rude if I say I'll pass on sex ? I kept thinking , what if he didnt wash his hands with soap.

FWIW ,we are both guys.

p/s : he was hot though

In my 20s, I’m kind of a homebody or I guess most of my friends I meet em for dinner or coffee and we don’t do night life stuff. But I did go out a few times, and I’ve used dating apps. I know that results may vary. But I went out with a guy I knew from college, one from the apps, and one who I met out. All of them went nowhere and fizzled out after. I have a date set with a guy I’ve been talkin to for a bit on the apps and I just question if it’s how I look or act.

I’ve recently been trying to make new friends and feel the same fear of not being good enough or something. Ik that’s different but I had a few hang outs with new friends and I try to engage with everyone, ask questions, etc. Friends and dating alike. I was a homebody for a bit so re learning how to use my social muscle takes some getting used to.

My question: Maybe people meet and it’s not a fit? But are there cases where guys just meet with anyone who they match with on the apps or I guess anyone who engages when they meet irl? Or are guys selective usually about who they will go out with? I guess it doesn’t really matter in the long run. But I wanna know if there’s any baseline attraction lol

I always see it stated as a trait men like in women, but it is such an ambiguous term even though everyone thinks they know what it means.

If they mean sweet or empathetic why just not say sweet and empathetic instead of this ambiguous word? If they mean looks wise is it about what is genetically given to the woman or how she takes care of herself? Or do they mean a submissive stay at home woman?

If you are someone who has femininity there in their list of traits they like on women, what do you mean by it exactly?

i know what country is but what does that mean specifically ?

first I'm 19 , I just got rejected from art school the Admission Committee me that id be better as architect l because I drew a few heads and people and they wasnt "accurate" as they said and I definitely don't want to be an architect , and idk what to do