r/dating_advice

Why I'm always single am i so ugly?

I want to be loved too 🥹

Taking a girl out on a date who chooses to eat vego, pretty sure she doesn’t mind that I eat meat. But the option is to share dishes, which I prefer doing or get separate and I eat meat options.
Does it make sense to eat vego for the night? Why/why not?

Hey guys! Just curious what to do in this situation. Been with this man, we will call frank for 5 years. Everything started out amazing and full of love, he has been an amazing father to our three children. But one day he flipped and went through my phone. He found old conversations but nothing when him and I started talking/ got together. (Realizing I did nothing wrong) I asked and went through his phone and learned he cheated into the beginning of our relationship. As well as watching p0*n which we both agree is cheating (that was recently). Now more recently he had some questionable friends that said they were going to secretly dr•g him and I when on vacation and I said “hey we should stop talking to them. That’s irresponsible” he said he did but I just figured out that was a lie. What should I do.
I’m no longer happy and have found myself sad/ mad around him lately. (I’m okay mentally don’t worry)

I genuinely need outside perspectives because I’m driving myself insane.

I (25F) was seeing a guy (26M) for a while and the dynamic felt very relationship-like: staying over, cuddling, affectionate moments outside of sex, meeting multiple friend groups (of his), future travel talk, opening up emotionally, good sex, deep conversations, him noticing little things about me and reassuring me when I opened up.

At different points though, he also said things like I wasn’t really his type (even though I’m similar to the kinds of girls he’s dated in the past/ currently follows) / he didn’t see me that way, despite also saying he was a “relationship person”.

Eventually I stepped away because I realised I’d developed real feelings and the ambiguity was hurting me.

What I cannot stop circling is: why?

I understand people can enjoy someone and still not want a relationship, but I’m struggling because it didn’t feel casual at all. This is a guy that drove 14 hours to see me for one night, set up camping trips for the two of us, changed plans with his friends just to travel and see me (without much coaxing from my end).

If you genuinely have chemistry, attraction, emotional intimacy, shared values, great sex and enjoy being around someone, what stops someone from choosing that?

For some context, he’s going overseas for a few months soon. For a while, I thought that might have been the reason - I’d also want to be single for that experience - but if that was the case, he would have just used that as an excuse to”out”, rather than saying he wasn’t interested in me.

I’m not really asking “am I enough?” I think I’m trying to understand whether there are reasons people walk away from things that seem good on paper that aren’t just “they weren’t attracted enough” or “you weren’t good enough.”

So people who’ve turned down someone you genuinely liked: why?

Me (29F) and BF (31M) have been together for 15 months and have been seeing each other for over 2 years. This week I got mad at him for the first time ever over something he did behind my back he knew was wrong to keep from me.

After we talked that through he made a comment about how he’s been keeping our relationship together through all the challenges I’ve been going thru since he met me. Mind you I have gone thru a lot of turbulence in my personal life since we’ve been together and I get this will wear a partner down.

He then said “You know I’m really picky and if we met earlier and I knew how much you had going on I probably wouldn’t have dated you”.

This has been repeating in my head over the last 24 hours and I’m genuinely hurt over it. Like I get it feels like he’s seen me thru a lot more downs than ups but did you have to say that to my face? Now I’m wondering if he’s reaching his limit and not being direct with me about it.

I want to bring this up to him when I see him tomorrow and share how this hurt me. I also want to temperature check because I refuse to be in another relationship where someone secretly resents me or is actually unhappy being with me but won’t leave.

Part of me wants to end things over it but I may be overreacting. He’s overall a wonderful man and a gem but that comment really hurt me.

My boyfriend constantly tells me how disgusting cheating is. But to the point that he doesn't even want to watch movies with cheating involved. Not even The Notebook. Is this normal?

I recently came out of a long-term relationship, so I’m aware I might be a bit emotionally sensitive and maybe overthinking this more than I usually would.
There was a guy at my gym who I started noticing after my breakup. He saw me properly on a night out and approached me, he came at me quite hot and heavy. He seemed really keen at the time, eye contact, asking questions, making it feel like there was chemistry, etc. We exchanged numbers and had some normal conversations afterwards, in between moments where he was being very flirty - I did gently let him know I need time for all that. He asked me to teach him to play tennis and we tried to organise a day to see each other, but as time got closer the plans kept changing, and then on the day we were supposed to meet there was nothing solid, I suggested some stuff and he was like oh we should do the weekend so we have more time. I suggested a festival and he said he was tempted but he wasn’t really making much effort so I just let the conversation die and gave it some space to breathe.
Then the energy got weird. We didn’t see each other at the gym for about a week, and I noticed his WhatsApp profile picture disappeared, which made me wonder if he’d deleted my number or changed his privacy settings. I later saw him on Hinge and his profile said he was looking for something casual/short-term. A lot of the talking points he’d used with me were also basically on his profile, which made me realise maybe he’s just someone who has a flirty “set” and enjoys the moment more than actually getting to know someone.
I didn’t like him on Hinge or message him. I decided to just leave it.
Then I saw him at the gym again yesterday. He seemed like he was avoiding me, which made the whole thing feel even more awkward. I didn’t want to skulk around or act like I had something to be embarrassed about, so I went up to him once and just said hi in a normal way. He was a bit dismissive, basically just “hi, you alright” and immediately turned away like he wanted to go back to what he was doing. I just said good and walked away.
Now I feel embarrassed and weird, even though logically I know saying hi to someone you’ve already spoken to is normal. I’m not planning to approach him again. If he wants to be awkward, that’s his choice.
I think what’s bothering me is that he created such a charged energy at first, then acted like I was weird for acknowledging him in real life. It’s made me question whether I looked desperate, even though all I did was say hi once and respond to his flirting.
I also know part of me probably projected onto him because I’m newly single and wanted to feel chosen/desired again. If I’m being honest, I think I built a story in my head that wasn’t really backed up by his behaviour.
So my question is: did I do anything embarrassing by saying hi once, or is he just being socially weird/avoidant? And is this just what casual dating/flirting is like now?

TDLR:
Guy from my gym flirted with me heavily on a night out, we exchanged numbers, then his energy got weird. I later saw his Hinge says he’s looking for casual/short-term, which made me realise I may have read more into the chemistry than he intended. When I saw him at the gym again, I said hi once to make things normal, but he was dismissive. Now I feel embarrassed, even though I know saying hi to someone you’ve already spoken to is normal. Is he just avoidant/socially awkward and trying to get easy access? Is this normal casual men behaviour?

so ive been going to the gym for 1 year now but i dont have good genetics and I started from a very low point so im like still a bit skinny fat though its much better than before. anyways for the past month ive changed my gym hours and like ive noticed this girl, shes like super locked in anyways we did lock eyes a few times.

so i went on my gym's ig and looked through all the followers until i found her ig and added her (thankfully it only had like 100 followers). Also i dont post anything on my ig so she asked who I was (tanned with a stubble and early 20s) and I tried to describe myself physically and she was like all happy but then when she said I was so tall I immediately realized she thought I was another guy at the gym who does share my physical attributes except hes like a whole head taller and much more muscular than me.

So when I realized that I just blocked her and now fml cuz tomorrow I might see her again lol what do I do ?

I’ve been dating a guy for about a month and I’m starting to feel pretty unsure about him.

He has mentioned another girl he’s in contact with a few times (around 3 times total). She initially flirted with him when they met, but they’re not close and he says she’s seeing someone else. Recently he told me she texted him again and said he wasn’t going to engage with her.

Yesterday he messaged me saying this girl asked if he was around the store where they first met. He said he was nearby and might go say hi.

Overall I’m feeling a bit turned off and uneasy, but I’m not sure if I’m overthinking early dating dynamics or if this is actually a red flag around boundaries/respect.

Be honest — am I overreacting or is this a bad sign?

I genuinely want opinions on this, especially from girls, because maybe my thinking is outdated.

So I’ve had 2 relationships in the past, and I noticed that I honestly don’t feel comfortable if my girlfriend has very close male friends. I know many people will call this insecurity or toxic thinking, and maybe there’s some truth in that too, which is why I’m asking openly.

At the same time, I believe in doing the same myself. It’s not like “she can’t have male friends while I can have female friends.” If I’m serious about someone, I naturally maintain distance from close female friendships too because my focus becomes that one person.

What confuses me is this:

People say relationships have ups and downs, and during those times they need friends for emotional support. Fair enough. But why do many people prefer opposite-gender friends for that instead of same-gender friends?

And before anyone misunderstands me, I’m not saying boys and girls can never be friends. Obviously they can. But nowadays I personally feel many opposite-gender friendships slowly become emotionally complicated from at least one side.

Maybe I sound old-school, but I genuinely want to understand different perspectives instead of pretending to agree with everything.

So I want to ask:

Is discomfort with opposite-gender close friendships automatically toxic?

How do girls see male friendships after getting into a serious relationship?

Do you think completely platonic friendships are actually common nowadays?

Open to hearing respectful opinions.

Connected with a guy through my bff & her BF. He’s the brother of the BF. We went out twice and hit it off great, text through the week but mainly end of day after work (nbd were both busy and will go day + without chatting), he said he likes me all that jazz etc but isn’t too forward at all. We have potential plans to hang again this weekend. Anyways, I am keeping my options open as I’m recently single and this isn’t serious l so I don’t want to close doors.

Anyways, I was only using hinge because tinder has that reputation for being hookups only. However, I just downloaded tinder since I haven’t had luck with hinge at all. When on hinge, I never came across this guy (he’s not on there) but day one of tinder he pops up. Now im thinking is this a red flag that he’s only on tinder? Not sure if im letting the stereotype of tinder get to me so figured id ask. For reference, we are almost 30. I hate the idea of investing time into someone who only wants casual/ hookups but I don’t wanna ask about intentions after only two dates.

M23 & F25 I matched with a girl on a dating app recently. She was 25, older than me, super kind, mature, and honestly felt like someone I could genuinely connect with. We had the same relationship goals, same vibe, same interests. She would send me couple reels, relationship stuff, videos of herself, and talk about how relationships should work. Naturally, I started feeling attached.

One day she asked me to go for a drive with her. Before meeting, she asked if I could pick up a bag from her friend’s room first. I agreed. It literally took me around 35 minutes to find the place, but eventually I got the bag and then drove around 18 km to meet her.

We went for the drive, listened to songs, talked about relationships, future stuff, life, everything. The whole vibe felt very genuine to me. I was nervous at times and fumbled while talking, especially during important conversations, but overall I thought the date went well.

After dropping her home, I texted her later that night. She completely ghosted me until the next morning. I got anxious and finally asked her directly what was on her mind.

She replied saying:
“I don’t think you’re the right match for me.”
Then she added:
“Don’t fake things. People usually fumble when they fake things.”

That line hit me hard.

What she didn’t know is that I had severe stammering and speech issues since childhood. I literally couldn’t speak properly until around age 12. My family, doctors, therapy, medication, years of effort — all of that helped me rebuild myself. Even now my stammering is around 80% improved, but I still fumble when I’m nervous or emotionally invested in a conversation.

Her comment reopened a lot of old trauma I never wanted to revisit:
- bullying in school
- embarrassment while speaking
- therapy memories
- feeling “less than” others

I explained this to her, but after that I just told her:
“I can’t talk right now.”

Honestly, I feel stupid for putting in so much effort emotionally after just one person. Picking up the bag, driving all that distance, getting emotionally attached, imagining a future — and then getting rejected over something I fought my whole life to overcome.

Maybe I got attached too fast. Maybe she just lost interest after meeting me in person. I don’t know.

Right now I’m thinking of taking a break from social media for a few days, getting back into the gym, losing weight, and focusing on myself again.
I’m I stupid??

Still hurts though.

I’m a pretty average looking woman but for some reason I’ve always been attracted to very confident and attractive men. I’ll literally develop feelings for the most unattainable people possible.

I’m in my late twenties and recently caught myself having a crush on a basketball player like I’m 14. It made me realize this has been a pattern my whole life.

The problem is I genuinely struggle to feel attracted to men I can* actually *date. Then I end up single for years because my brain keeps choosing fantasy over reality.

Does anyone else deal with this or am I just emotionally stupid? 😭

This feels like such a stupidly small thing to be stuck on after a breakup, but here I am.My ex still uses my Netflix. It’s under my email, but he’s had his own profile on it for almost two years. He also sent me money for it a few times last year, so for some reason I feel weird just changing the password without saying anything.

There’s also a shared Google Photos album from two trips we took together. I don’t really want to sit there sorting through old photos right now, but I also don’t know if deleting/removing stuff without warning is a bad move.The breakup wasn’t horrible. No cheating, no screaming, nothing dramatic. Just sad and awkward. That’s probably why I’m overthinking this instead of just cutting everything off.Would it be too cold to just change the Netflix password and remove him from the album? Or should I send a short message first like, “Hey, I’m going to separate some account stuff this weekend, just wanted to give you a heads-up”?I don’t want to reopen a whole conversation, but I also don’t want to be unnecessarily harsh over something as dumb as a subscription.

There has been a guy that I have known for 2 years who has become one of my best friends. But recently, I have considered cutting ties because of my feelings for him. We met on a dating app, and he has asked me out in the past, but it turned into a great friendship because I wasn't ready for a relationship at the time. I'm still not. I struggle with life at home (relationship with dad), and deal with serious depression/ocd, etc so it has taken a toll on my view of relationships or how I cope. But I can't deny that after 2 years of being wishy washy with him, I developed feelings. I am VERY slow when it comes to a crush if it's long distance. And he has talked to me a lot in the past few months about different girls he has been talking to, and it has hurt. The longer I am friends with him while he is exploring relationship stuff (and I am not saying he should be with ME), the more I hurt and regret not saying yes to that date 2 years ago, even though I was just not ready. Should I end the friendship given how complicated this has become?

I(F25) met this guy (M32) two weeks ago. We’ve hung out twice, and we kissed the second time. Objectively, I can tell he’s not unattractive, but I don’t think I’m actually attracted to him. Beyond the physical side, I also don’t feel much chemistry or connection, he’s just not really my type.

At the same time, it’s been two years since I’ve had sex, and I’ve only been with two people before, so I don’t really know how casual sex is supposed to feel. Part of me wonders if it’s okay to sleep with someone even if the chemistry isn’t there, just because I want the experience or physical intimacy.

I also wonder whether it’s actually safer emotionally to have casual sex with someone I don’t really like, since if I genuinely liked someone, there’s a chance I’d catch feelings. But then I question whether having sex with someone I’m not even attracted to is a bad idea in the first place.

I (35f) met someone (28m) I thought was who I've been looking for all long. Great compatibility values wise, personality wise, we have fun, support each other, he says he feels super safe and tranquil with me which he didn't in the past with some other people...

Turns out they feel super attracted to me and we have chemistry but "it's not at the top of the spectrum/enough".

Heartbroken and losing hope.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this and maybe restore my faith in humanity and dating a bit.

So I’ve been talking to a coworker of mine for a few months now, and things are starting to take a turn. I (22m) and my coworker (27f) started hooking up about two months after I had gotten out of a 4 year relationship (yes I know not the best idea), everything started out great, but soon developed into basically a full bf/gf relationship just without the title. We talked for a few months and the sex was great, vibes were good, and everything was headed in the right direction. Went to a concert together, took her on really nice dates including a spa day that was several hundred dollars, and was overall treating her really well.
Then I started to catch some feelings. She recognized this decently quickly and after a while sat me down and had a conversation with me basically saying she wasn’t ready for a full relationship with me, but that she was still cool continuing doing what we were doing and still being exclusive.
This was somewhat of a shock to me, although I could kinda feel it coming. In that convo she also said she needed more space from me and thought seeing each other almost every day was too much including how we’re coworkers.
Fast forward a few weeks and I can feel her interest in me decreasing. Hardly responding to me (at least until a few hrs later), dry conversations, the choice of language she’s using, and we haven’t been intimate in almost two weeks.
I guess really I’m deciding how to end things. I don’t want to be investing my time, money, energy, and passion into someone who’s not reciprocating it, and I don’t want to look stupid when she finally decides she’s done. Any advice on how to end things and remain cordial and friendly at work?
(Ps yes I know I’m a bit of a lover boy)

Am I overthinking?

I (24F) met this really good-looking man (24M) earlier this year, and we hit it off after about two weeks. He’s kind and mature, but with time I’ve started feeling like he’s not really who I thought he was.

One thing is that he’s very shallow in conversation, and I absolutely love deep conversations, about everything, honestly. But because I liked him, I kind of brushed that aside.

Also, my love language is words of affirmation, and he’s really not good at that 😭. He says his is physical touch, but sometimes he even cringes when I touch him 🥲.

Anyway, recently he went on a trip out of town. We were communicating the whole time, then suddenly his phone went on Do Not Disturb and I couldn’t reach him for like 14 hours. The next time we talked, he said his phone had an issue and that he “didn’t want to be disturbed by anyone” 💀. I let it go.

Now over the weekend, he went out with his friends, and after Saturday evening, the next time he texted me was Sunday at 11pm just to say goodnight. After that, he didn’t talk to me again until yesterday at 9pm. The whole time his phone was on DND 😭.

I can’t help but think of so many reasons why someone would keep their phone on Do Not Disturb for that long. But whenever we talk, he acts all sweet and bubbly like nothing happened. He also tends to ignore issues we’re having and acts like everything is fine, and I hate that because I prefer talking things through before moving on.

Now I can’t stop thinking about the last three days.

Am I overthinking? Should I ask him about it or just ignore it?

I (18F) have never had a real boyfriend before, ive had talking stages and situationships or whatever; but I’ve never been official with anyone before. I’ve been feeling myself lately and figured I’d download hinge for the summer and maybe go on some fun dates and just casually meet people to try and get myself out there and get more experienced. I’ve asked my friends about this and they’re all very split- many of my friends say I’m too naive, and I’ll get taken advantage off. I have a history of being very insecure and being very sensitive when it comes to my relationship history, so I don’t want to download hinge (or any dating app) just for my confidence to be destroyed. I’m not looking for long term, but I’m also not looking for hookups. is this a good idea? How does a girl my age go about meeting guys?