r/mentalhealth

I think I'm gonna do it in June

At 20, I realize I've just wasted my life. I've never had a girlfriend. Few friends, currently just one IRL and they don't even give a damn about me. I'm so tired of this shitty world. I wish I had the courage to end it all now already so at least I'll save myself all the suffering that's yet to come. I hate everyone. Fuck humans, damn god. Fuck this shitty face with this severe fucking underbite that ruined my life and my hair (I have retrograde alopecia), my eyes (they're asimmetrical and I have serious issues that keep getting worse, already got two surgeries but there's something else that's making me blind and no doctor understood why), I hate my gynecomastia even if it's not that severe so no doctor allowed me to get surgery, I hate my bulbous nose, I hate my bad posture, my abdominal fat, my patchy beard, my neanderthal-looking face, the disproportionate head. I hate everything and everyone. Never loved by anyone. No friends, no women, nothing. At this point I'd wish I'd never been born at all, a it's just suffering

And I'm just 5'8 WITH SHOES.

And it's all because of my fucking shitty appearance. I'm so tired of this shitty world

I think I'll do it in June after the tadc movie so I won't have any regrets, I'm not even depressed I'm just tired of playing a game where I've already lost.

It's only getting worse. I'm tired of everyone telling me, "You'll make friends, just talk to people," or for relationships the shittiest swntence the "when you least expect it, it will come" world, go f yourself, I hate you.

I wonder why people, when they're attractive, can also be mean and are never alone, both platonically and romantically. But then people like me are left alone even though I've never hurt anyone.

This shitty world is unfair.

\+ Never ask people who say that looks don't matter what their partner looks like.

I’ve been in therapy for the past decade to try to heal the damage done to my brain from my childhood and I’m still just a barely functioning mess of a human being.

For example, just today I wanted to start biting chunks out of my own arm today because I felt so stressed and uncomfortable having to wait in a car for someone to pick up their medication. That’s it. Fucking pathetic! And it’s like I know I’m acting like a lunatic but still can’t bring myself to stop.

I feel like that’s the story of my life I know I’m getting triggered or dealing with mental health stuff and know what type of impact it has on others, and I can do next to nothing to stop it from happening.

What should I do? I don’t feel like I’m equipped to be a part of modern society if I’m not self medicating with any drug I can get my hands on. I cause problems with everyone I interact with these days it seems and I don’t want to be this kind of person.

I don’t want to waste away in prison, or a psych ward or delete myself yet, either. Is there another option out there for people who just can’t cut it in modern society?

Scrolling on your phone can be very relaxing but constantly feeding your brain with new information or seeing negative content repetitively can affect ur mood. When do u decide its time for you to log off?

Looking for some discussion on issues related to mental health. I have started following this recently. I want to dive deeper into the problems, it's root and behaviours etc etc.

i have therapy tomorrow and how do i explain that my meds are doing me more harm rn and that maybe they're a controller trying to hack into my brain and then they'll take over. that i'll be better off them. i am better rn.i hate when people call me fckin delusional though but it's genuinely how i feel 🤦‍♂️ and what if my bf, my therapist, the group, etc. what if they're all in on it? i can feel its attempts. it's stressing me tf out

There's nothing more I'd like than to not have to wake up tomorrow, how can I fix this either painlessly or quickly

​

Not every child who stays quiet is okay.

Not every topper is mentally healthy.

And not every “well-behaved” child feels emotionally safe at home.

Many children grow up feeling loved only when they achieve something.

By the time parents realize the emotional damage, the child may have already spent years silently struggling with anxiety, burnout, fear, depression, or hopelessness.

Children don’t just need food, education, and discipline.

They also need emotional safety, understanding, and support without constant judgment.

As someone working in counseling and emotional healing, I genuinely think Indian families need to normalize mental health conversations before it reaches a breaking point.

What are your thoughts on this?

I have a narcissist mom, she’s lazy, mean, always angry, and just the worst person I’ve ever met in my life and I feel like I’m becoming her…

I feel like I see more of her in me every single day and I hate myself for it. I don’t know why my husband even loves me.

I get angry SO FAST
I’m mean
I don’t have any friends
I’m gaining weight because I’m always making excuses not to go to the gym
I’m unemployed

I feel like a loser…
I feel like all the worst parts of both my parents.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t know how to change.

My mom discovered my sh scars and she reacted harsh asf lmao im not surprised anyway

For all I know, all of this is going downhill later on and im gonna keep cutting myself and I’ll feel worse as the days pass.

I do like the idea of talking to someone about deep stuff like this but I always think it’s an act of weakness so i always keep it to myself. And it did get used against me in the past many times so it’s natural I build up something against it to protect myself.

Hello, I am 20 and a girl,

I suspect myself of having autism or adhd, with potential anxiety disorder and or depression.

I do not trust self-diagnosing, and I'd potentially like to get medicated if I do have a confirmed mental illness. So far, all the online tests have come back with signs of the stuff mentioned, but I believe I could just be lying to myself.

Should I go to a psychiatrist or a therapist? My goal is to be diagnosed with or without the mentioned illnesses and to be potentially be medicated.

From my friend's experience, she got put in a mental hospital for the medication she got prescribed because its pretty hard to get medicated in Germany unless they can surely verify the illness.

Any first steps? going to a doctor first, trying to get a move to the psychiatrist from a therapist, or just going somewhere else? And do I need some other information or preparation that I do not know about?

I’m not going to make a grand spectacle anymore. I’m going to keep quiet and just do my business and be done with my existence if I fail to make the cut as a Firefighter come Saturday.

I’m done with failure and hatred and sadness and depression and everything wrong with this world. This is my last stand not just as a Medic, but as a “Veteran” whatever that means. I was a soldier in a past life. I’m still technically a Medic, whatever that means.

I got tests I have a near 100% chance of failing coming up Thursday and Saturday. If I fail so much as one I’m ending my existence. If by some stroke of miracle I pass and get interviewed to become a Firefighter I’ll spare myself and continue living for another year.

I want the suffering to stop. The VA never cared. Veterans don’t care. The Army never cared. My family never cared. I have no friends. I constantly miss my ex girlfriend whose happier without me. Honestly, everyone is happier without me and it’s selfish I’m being this kind to myself giving myself an ultimatum instead of just killing myself “like a man”.

I’ve always been a coward in this stupid life.

Okay, so im queer and antisocial. I’ve been testing stuff with makeup and like to wear it sometimes. I identify as a cross dresser online and met a guy who likes me. I’m a minor and he’s 22. Is it wrong I want to stay with him because I’ve felt isolated my whole life? Never had many friends and have never been in a relationship. He says he loves me and I keep an eye on him. I act coy intentionally but I don’t want to get hurt over something I can prevent. Is this grooming if im doing this willingly?

I am struggling with depression so much right now and i have been struggling with it since i was a child. I don’t really know what’s the point of living anymore. I keep getting bad grades. I constantly have arguments with my family. I feel so numb and drained everyday. However, my school teachers and the dean still expect me to be at school everyday. I am at a position where if i have any other absence, i will be expelled (i have 29 days of absences 🥲). But even if i am physically at school, i feel horrible the whole day and don’t even function properly, it makes everything so much worse. I don’t know what to do? There are 5 weeks until school ends. I’m trying to hold on until it’s over but it has been extremely hard recently and i just can’t do it anymore i’m so tired.

Should they at least provide support and reassurance during the process? Open communication about next steps?

I had a giant medication change and mine just ignores my messages about how mentally unwell I feel. My anxiety and depression has never been worse. I am terrified and can’t even get reassurance. Am I wrong to seek that?

Mind you, I stated in previous appointments I don’t message because I don’t want to take advantage but was encouraged to. All to finally build up the courage and have those messages ignored. It’s just making me feel worse and like a burden.

I’m a mom and just trying to fix myself for my kids and it’s going the complete wrong direction. I’m genuinely so scared and feel so alone. I feel like the carpet was ripped from underneath me and I was left to fend for myself with no clue what to do.

so its just a checkin post, I just wanna ask you all if you are alright and if you are not, I am here to listen to you....I may not have the answer for all the problems but I have been a good listener and would love to help you out.....hope you have a good day

I (26m) have always been a generally anxious person, but that's been getting worse as I get older. In high school I rarely had panic attacks and just got kinda anxious in social settings; now it's like there's a nonstop knot in my chest, I'm constantly nauseous, constantly feel like I'm dying and/or everything is going wrong, neither my partner nor I can even leave the house without me having an emotional breakdown, and even when we are home I'm constantly worried he's upset with me and going to leave me, or that we'll get evicted (there's no actual reason to believe we will), or that someone will hurt us. Some days I can't even keep food down; I only sleep once I've panicked to the point of exhaustion and even then it's only for a couple hours at a time. In the last eight years I've worked with 30 therapists (not hyperbole) who specialized in CBT, DBT, and ACT therapies, psychiatrists have tried escitalopram, fluoxetine, sertraline, venlafaxine, aripiprazole, hydroxyzine, and buspirone, and primary care doctors have ruled out medical causes, and nothing is helping and life just keeps getting worse. I can't remember what it's like to feel happy anymore, I can't tell what's real and what's me being paranoid/anxious. I don't know what to do anymore. My therapist today said I need to accept being anxious instead of trying to change it, but the thought of being like this for the rest of my godforsaken life just makes me even more overwhelmed.

I dated for a year, and I just can’t move on. I know it sounds stupid, but I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not like I haven’t tried I have but nothing is working. It’s gotten to a point where I feel like I’m losing myself, and it’s started affecting my life in a major way. I’d really appreciate any help. Like I’m losing myself it’s a desperate plea for help.

I told my therapist today about an interrupted attempt I had during a conflict with a friend last week. I was arguing with a friend over text, and with my parents in person. I was telling my parents that I was done. My mom said “you’ve said this a thousand times, you’re not done.” I immediately went and grabbed a bottle of pills from my bathroom and tried to swallow them all. It made me gag, and I spit them out, got angry, put them back into the bottle, and left the bathroom. During the argument with my friend, my friend was threatening our entire friendship. (She’s my closest friend.) I felt completely abandoned. My therapist didn’t even let me explain the conflict before jumping into safety plans. She told me that I needed to calm down first and gave examples like “screaming into a pillow” or “counting backwards from 100.” I completely shut down. I told her that when I’m that amped up, I’m not going to think to look at a stupid piece of paper. I don’t think she realizes that once I reach that point, I’m way past using basic coping skills. I physically cannot calm myself down and feel like I HAVE to take drastic measures. I thought my friendship was over. I thought I didn’t have anyone and it was my fault. It felt so disproportionate to me. Has anyone else experienced this?

I know I am able to be scared out of it because of previous experiences . I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t know and also scaring is the only thing that has made me stop.

My main forms of SH are biting the back of my left wrist as hard as I can which gives me green and reddish bruises. The other is hitting my head as hard as I can. I have been hitting for years, so whatever silent damage that is easily caused has most likely happened already. I want to be scared by long term effects.

So if anyone knows anything about these two methods I warmly welcome the scariest (has to be true) thing that you know about their long term effects or possibilities.

Hi everyone,

I've been depressed almost all my life, and I never started cutting because I was 1000000% sure I wouldn't be able to stop again. Very recently, I found out my kid (13f) has been self-harming. I got her an emergency psych appt (in 4 weeks but that's as fast as they can do it) and took her to her pediatrician so they can look at her wounds and advise me on treatment. Apparently she has a lot of cuts, both new and old. (I even got the youth welfare office involved, in case I'm messing up somehow and contributing to her mental state.)

This has been a nightmare because I've always done my best to give my kids the life I never had. Unfortunately, I think I should have gone no-contact with my own family way earlier and I think their presence played a huge role in my daughter's mental health issues. I first discovered the cuts a day after one of our best days at home, lots of laughing, hanging out, planning a weekend trip. This scared me a lot because it made me feel like there is no real trigger for her engaging in self-harm since we'd just had an objectively great day. I'm there for her, I try to talk, I ask if there's anything I can do and she just brushes me off, says she knows she can talk to me but there's nothing to talk about, she wishes I wouldn't take it so seriously, etc. There are no signs of an obvious disconnect or withdrawal, as far as I can tell. We've always been very close.

She doesn't understand why she should stop, or why it bothers me... and as far as I've read, the only way to get them to stop is if THEY want to stop. (Which, of course makes perfect sense.) We've talked safety. We agreed to be open with each other about it when it happens, without judgement. I can't sleep or leave her alone cuz I'm terrified it will happen again the minute my back is turned, but she doesn't think it's a big deal.

Which leads me to my question. People who quit, how did you do it and why? I'm not gonna selfishly throw something at her like "Please quit for my sake." I wish I could give her real reasons that strengthen her, or at least help her to do some introspection to find some reasons for herself. So many articles and forums say people need to find better coping mechanisms, but very few actually suggest better ways to cope. To be perfectly honest, this has triggered my own depression again in a horrible way. My kiddo really is an angel and the kindest soul I know, and she tells me things like, "Please don't think you're a bad mom or something." And I'm like... Motherhood is the only thing where your intentions don't matter for shit. Only the results matter.

And the result is that my baby is hurting. I couldn't protect her from the thing that destroys me.