u/MedicineConstant3206

I’ve been in therapy for the past decade to try to heal the damage done to my brain from my childhood and I’m still just a barely functioning mess of a human being.

For example, just today I wanted to start biting chunks out of my own arm today because I felt so stressed and uncomfortable having to wait in a car for someone to pick up their medication. That’s it. Fucking pathetic! And it’s like I know I’m acting like a lunatic but still can’t bring myself to stop.

I feel like that’s the story of my life I know I’m getting triggered or dealing with mental health stuff and know what type of impact it has on others, and I can do next to nothing to stop it from happening.

What should I do? I don’t feel like I’m equipped to be a part of modern society if I’m not self medicating with any drug I can get my hands on. I cause problems with everyone I interact with these days it seems and I don’t want to be this kind of person.

I don’t want to waste away in prison, or a psych ward or delete myself yet, either. Is there another option out there for people who just can’t cut it in modern society?

I’m (28M) in therapy trying to unlearn all of the maladaptive coping strategies I had to learn as a child to survive.

I was never emotionally safe growing up and have developed some very survival based life strategies that aren’t really suiting me now that I’m no longer living in a mini hell.

I feel like I have no idea how to do life now, I know how to take care of myself and survive dangerous situations both physically and emotionally, but have no idea how to maintain a friendship as an adult for example. Same with being very quick to make snap judgements about people, it used to be a “is this person safe?” But that pattern of superficial judgement bleeds over into other areas too. That kind of stuff and many more lol

I kind of feel like the human equivalent of a dog that was rescued from an abusive environment and has to re-learn how to exist almost on a fundamental level

Thanks for reading best wishes to you all

A friend had taken 2 years to complete a project I commissioned from them. They had a lot going on that prevented them from getting it done, but I still provided payment up front. I called them out today and they absolutely went off on my calling me a terrible friend and saying how much I hurt them

I don’t think I actually did anything wrong but I still hurt someone unintentionally and I can’t fucking process that!

Why do I want to peel my own skin off because I hurt someone’s feelings for calling them out on taking multiple YEARS on a project that could’ve taken a month

I’m terrible at interacting with people and shit like this just reinforces it.