At a loss for what to do about my anxiety.
I (26m) have always been a generally anxious person, but that's been getting worse as I get older. In high school I rarely had panic attacks and just got kinda anxious in social settings; now it's like there's a nonstop knot in my chest, I'm constantly nauseous, constantly feel like I'm dying and/or everything is going wrong, neither my partner nor I can even leave the house without me having an emotional breakdown, and even when we are home I'm constantly worried he's upset with me and going to leave me, or that we'll get evicted (there's no actual reason to believe we will), or that someone will hurt us. Some days I can't even keep food down; I only sleep once I've panicked to the point of exhaustion and even then it's only for a couple hours at a time. In the last eight years I've worked with 30 therapists (not hyperbole) who specialized in CBT, DBT, and ACT therapies, psychiatrists have tried escitalopram, fluoxetine, sertraline, venlafaxine, aripiprazole, hydroxyzine, and buspirone, and primary care doctors have ruled out medical causes, and nothing is helping and life just keeps getting worse. I can't remember what it's like to feel happy anymore, I can't tell what's real and what's me being paranoid/anxious. I don't know what to do anymore. My therapist today said I need to accept being anxious instead of trying to change it, but the thought of being like this for the rest of my godforsaken life just makes me even more overwhelmed.