r/WhatShouldIDo

I (17 F) am currently a senior in high school at a very small school in a very small city. I am not the type of person who enjoys social gatherings, public outings, and things of the sort. I am also extremely camera shy and just in general do not like being at the center of attention. Since I go to a small school, graduation is mandatory and I have been trying for months to get out of it. Everyone in my life is super upset at me for not wanting to be apart of this. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with liking ceremonies/celebrations, it’s just really not my thing. Plus I am 100% a tomboy type, and I’m not particularly excited about the strict, mandatory dress code (Sunday dress, around knee-length, black flats). Everyone in my life has been telling me that I need to “get over it” and that it’s “not a big deal”. I understand that this is a milestone in my life but I just don’t care about ceremonies like this, and I know for certain I would absolutely dread the entire thing. My sister actually told me the other day that I was “being a baby” because I don’t want to go. I don’t think it’s a big deal? Should I just suck up my feelings, be a good sport, and go? Should I stand with my opinions and feelings and continue to object? Please help🫩

I didn’t really want to post this online, but I’m honestly out of options at this point.

My girlfriend (23) and I (22) have been dating for a while now. In the beginning, everything felt great — we’re super similar, same interests, same vibe, and I genuinely felt like we just got each other.

But around 3–4 months in, things started changing. She began arguing with me constantly, and I mean about almost everything.

One example:

We found some kittens on a farm. One is very shy and struggles to approach people, and the other is super social and playful.

I started giving a bit more attention to the shy one because no one else really was, and I felt bad for it. The social one was already getting attention from everyone.

But my girlfriend kept insisting and arguing nonstop that I’m biased because I think the shy one is prettier (it’s an African wildcat vs a normal black cat, so yeah, it does look more unique).

Her issue is that I’m “ignoring” the social kitten, even though I’m just trying to balance things out so the shy one doesn’t get left out.

No matter how I explain it, she keeps pushing it and turns it into an argument until I eventually just apologize to end the fight.

And it’s not just this it happens with a lot of small things too.

Another example:

I work from home and don’t really have friends. One time we hung out with one of her friends and I actually got along really well with her boyfriend.

Later, my girlfriend invited them over again. Her friend had to leave early because of an issue with her dog, but the boyfriend stayed behind to hang out with me since we were getting along.

That turned into a huge fight later that night. She was upset that I kept hanging out with him, and it only stopped after I apologized… for making a new friend.

At this point I just feel drained and honestly kind of lost. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this I don’t want to involve my family because I don’t want them to see her differently.

I care about her, but this constant arguing and feeling like I have to apologize just to keep the peace is really getting to me.

I don’t know if I’m missing something here or if this just isn’t normal.

Any advice?

I’m 18 now and need to decide on a college this month. My mother is putting a lot of pressure on me. I’m aiming to get at least a bachelors in accounting. Three options are

university at Buffalo - 23k per year, 7hrs away

Binghamton - 32k per year, 4hrs away

Quinnipiac - 41k per year, 2hrs away. Masters in 4 years

My mother desperately wants me to go to either Binghamton or Quinnipiac and was crying when I mentioned liking Buffalo. She said it’s too far, would put too much of a burden on her, she wouldn’t be able to drive. I told her I was planning on taking the cross state train from Buffalo back home and she did not listen. Even though that would even be cheaper than driving back and forth from Binghamton with gas.

Binghamton is more prestigious, but Buffalo is a good school as well with 30k students. But she said I will have no opportunities going to Buffalo and it would destroy my career. She’s even been encouraging me to stay close and go to Quinnipiac, taking out the 160k in loans.

I’m not sure what to do. She will be so disappointed if I go to Buffalo. but I feel as if I would be miserable at Binghamton for four years. I don’t wanna have 200k of debt hanging over my head after Quinnipiac either.

Any opinions?

Before I start I just want to acknowledge that this is entirely down to my lack of responsibility and Im fully aware that this is a consequence of my dumb decisions.

That being said, this story goes back a long way but all you need to know is I met this girl online last year and impulsively got into a weird long distance relationship without ever having met her. We argued a lot and laughed a lot but mostly argued. I felt sort of responsible for her as she came from an abusive home and didn’t have anyone other than her grandma and siblings. I should point out that we both have mental health issues from past traumas which I ignored to play hero. Anyway fast forward many months and I find us a place to live and after meeting each other a handful of times we move in together and it is nothing like what I had expected or what we had agreed. Her mental health wasn’t great and neither was mine but it just became a dynamic where I was constantly having to walk on eggshells around her as she was extremely controlling and manipulative. Anyway i finally plucked up the courage to tell her that we needed to end it because I need to learn to be alone and fix my head and so does she, also I am in a bit of debt and out of a job so I can’t actually afford to keep supporting everything anyway.

She comes from a strict background which makes it difficult to go back to her family if we split for good. She has said that if we’re done for good I will have ruined her life which makes me feel incredibly guilty. She is half gypsy so she comes from a completely different background and has a very different view on things to me. (She believes that we should be forever no matter what because we said we would be but it’s difficult to explain to her that things aren’t always gonna be like that, as this is her first relationship).

I took a few days to just think and find out she is in the hospital so called her to see what was going on and she tells me she had been brought in because she passed out and then told me the doctors found she’s 5 weeks pregnant, we had both agreed that if it did happen and we found out within 10 weeks that we wouldn’t keep it, but she has said to me that I need to decide if I want to be with her or not because if I don’t then she doesn’t want to see me or speak to me again. There’s a lot more to it but I’m just confused and scared.

TL;DR: my girlfriend is pregnant and she told me 5 days after we split.

Hello everyone, thank you to everyone who commented it means a lot to me. For this post I am going to give my step siblings names to make things less confusing,my stepsister is Alice and my stepbrother is Will. This is not really a update but more stories and things I have learned recently.

So to begin with I recently found out or realized what Alice's motives are. I think she it trying to break up my mom and stepdad so that her parents can get back together. What makes me think this is the shrine Alice has in her room of photos of her mom and dad wile they were dating...The reason why I know this is because recently when my mom went threw her room because she stole more things-this time from my brother, about 5 video games -$300.

So other updates are I have a lock for my room now so that's good. And that's it really. Thank you for reading!

Just to give some information:

Me and her are both 13.

her boyfriend is 14.

My best friend, (we'll call her Alana) and her boyfriend (we'll call Jason) are ALWAYS hanging out.

Now, me and Alana have been friends for two years. She's the person who knows top to bottom EVERY little detail about my life, relationships, issues, etc. Im very open to her and I dont expect the same out of her. My point is - she knows me very well and Im glad to have her in my life. Me and her used to argue a lot (over little things) like sisters. Her mom decided to let us have a break so we didn't have a sleepover in over 8 months. Finally, a few months ago we had a sleepover. Everything was fine. Until Jason came into the picture.

Now, I want the best for Alana. Even if it doesn't make me happy. I just want her to be happy. But since Jason and her have been together, I feel ignored, lied to, and not as "important".

Alana has lied to me about not being able to hangout. Ive found out since Jason will text me or send me photos of them together. (in a way that seems like he's trying to get under my skin.)

What annoys me most is that recently I've been asking to hangout like ANY day. not even a sleepover, just to hangout. That's also the only way me and my girlfriend and I can hangout. (thats a different story.) I have to plan ahead about 3 days prior to when we'll actually be hanging out because if I dont, Jason already has plans with Alana.

You might be wondering,"Why cant you, Jason, Alana, and your girlfriend all hangout together?" Good fucking question.

A couple weeks ago (maybe a month ago) Me, Alana, and Jason were on snapchat in a call. Jason kept screen sharing and showed Alanas mom's Facebook with Alanas baby photos up. Alana kept saying stop is a giggley voice. we were all laughing. I kept taking his screen down and eventually he got pissed. I thought we were all fine until he said,"Can you stop taking my screen down? its annoying." To which I said,"Well Alana said to stop." Then he said,"Its not even any of your business, I dont know why you care so much." And then he had left the call. So did I since I didn't really wanna talk to Alana. I just needed music in the moment since I was annoyed.

Jason then texts me 2 hours later apologizing. It sounded like he was typing based off a script...So he had also said,"I dont know why your still mad. You dont have to hold a grudge. Its not a big deal." So I said,"Just because you get over things faster then I, doesn't mean I'm holding a grudge? I can angry if I want to and I never said it was a big deal."

When we're at school, he ignores me. Now, I dont really care about that. Yet, he was talking to everyone BUT me. It was irritating. Im always around Alana, and so is he. So for him to do that? its frustrating. I talked to Alana about it multiple times. Jason told Alana that he didn't wanna talk to me since he thought it would "interfere with me and Alanas friendship." I told her that wasnt the case AT ALL. She said that he didn't wanna talk to me and that I just have to "accept" that.

So every time we hangout, i cant be there when Jason is. Jason doesn't want me there. And Jason is ALWAYS there. Almost every. single. day. I just wanna hangout with my best friend.

I'll obviously try to make plans before Jason can so I have a day with Alana. My issue is that Alana will lie and say she has stuff planned, her mom said no, she forgot, or thay she never said I could come over. Then I find out she's with Jason or at Jason's house. I told her its not fair how often he's over there. Especially because I wanna see my girlfriend too. I just feel very hurt that she would lie about that? I think Jason is very childish too.

what made me really mad was what happened today.

Last night Alana said she wouldn't be able to hangout due to the fact her mom and her were going to go see HER family. Jason texts me. Here's how the conversation goes:

Jason:"NO!!"

Me:"huh?"

Jason:"Idk"

Me:"Are you high?"

Jason:"Yeah"

Jason:"Im jk."

Me:"Ik."

*Jason sends a photo of Alana*

Me:"Why are you with Alana? I thought she was with her family."

Jason:"Yeah, we're meeting my family. Not hers. Have a problem?"

Me:"No? She told me she was gonna be with her family. She told me last night."

Jason:"Good, that's what I thought"

Me:"Genuinely stfu."

Jason:"NO"

Me:"ok."

What the hell is his issue??? He unadded me after that. Alana also has left me on delivered for almost 5 hours.

I don't understand why she constantly lies and makes me feel bad. Shes a really good friend but she's been nothing near that since shes been dating Jason.

My speculation is that Jason doesn't wanna share Alana. Or he just wants a reason to always be with her alone. besides getting theoretical, what should I do? I texted her,"Can we talk?" But I haven't gotten a response yet.

I dont wanna lose a friendship over an asshole of a guy but I feel like that's what I have to do. Its infuriating when I try to say something and Alana comes off as snippy or she doesn't wanna deal with it. Please, I need advice. What should I say or do?

I (26F) have been dating my boyfriend ( 26M ) for 3 years now and we re very much soulmates. we re currently students and we still have about a year until graduation. for context we live in a third world country and everyone s biggest dream is to study or work abroad in Europe or the US and it was also a dream of both of us before we ever met. the problem is I got the opportunity to move abroad and at the same time his dreams got crushed of living abroad due to family and financial issues. since that we realized that we probably don't have a future together and we were crushed. he said he wants me to take the opportunity because he wants a better life for me even if it's away from him. it was a dream for me and I ve worked really hard for it but I also can't let go of him. every day I m tourmented with this problematic.i cry myself to sleep every night thinking about losing him. I know if I stayed in our country I m gonna regret not pursuing a better career abroad. but I can't imagine my life without him. at the moment we re still dating and we still love each other but I feel like we slowly mourning our relationship before it ends for good. what would u do if you were me ?

LI’ve (M21) been told all sorts of advice by guy and girl friends about dating like flirt, act yourself, actually be interested in them and tbh i only really get feelings for someone once im friends and I’m just wondering is it normal to get rejected hundreds of times before yes?

Reason I ask if moms because I try to use dating apps and have no liked in 2 years of use, girls I’ve been setup with havnt actually done it, never got a yea

I’ve been told im attractive, funny, i can hold convos well and im witty and tbh im just not sure how I have this much bad luck.

I'm having a nice activity with an older woman but her kids came back and I'm naked so I'm in a bit of trouble so what should I do

Long story but im going crazy over here what should i do

My husband (M33), I’m 34 F. My husband has a best friend that keeps wanting him to go back to the UK.

My husband traveled from the UK to Canada 8 years ago to be with me. Before he came to Canada, my husband friend said I hate you. I don’t like you bc you took him away from us. My husband was like the leader of three group until he fell in love with me and found me. He stopped going clubbing, drinking, going out.

Every day we would go on camera, sleep on cam. Every minute we are on the phone, mind h we live in diff time zones. My family would get so annoyed bc we do everything on cam together, sleep, eat, except bathroom breaks 😄.

So my husband friend said oh I hate you so much. I truly dont lkke you. U took my best friend away from me and bc of that even if I ever meet you one day I’m just gonna say hi for the benefits of him not you. Il never lkke you and I hope you wont ever forget that.

My husbsnd and everyone just laughed it off till I told my husband I dont like what hes saying to me. Its not my fault you stopped hanging with him. I started crying bc my husband friend said im nothing to him wich I could care less but the way he was saying rude stuff to me made me upset bc who says rude stuff to pple u dont even no.

Fast forward my 25 bday came. My bf now husband traveled to meet me one day before my bday. We meet.

My bf now husband is my first lover ever. I never been with any guy but him sexually or physically. Hes my first. When my husband was here in Canada he ask me if I wanna have sx with him. I said no not yet im not ready. He just kissed me and held my hand and said honey we been in a long distance relationship for 6 years. If I can wait that long I can wait another. So he did.

5 6 months I decided I was ready. We did it. Then his best friend would call my husband and say hey man when you coming back to the UK. He said im not and thags when his friend would constantly message and say bro come back to the UK. Canada nothing to you. She took you away from us this and that.

So my husband brushed it off and year later 2018 I became pregnant. Had my first child in 2019. Everyone of my husbsnd friends said congratulations but my husband best friend. Even when my husbsnd posted pictures and videos everyone went crazy liking are photos congratulations and everything but my husband best friend.

So my husband decided to let go of his best friend bc only time he wiuld call is when he would say come back to the UK. I miss you forget Canada forget the girl. Why did u have to move to Canada for this girl.

My husband said chill bc love makes a man do crazy things. I love her we been together since we were 18 19.

Till this day this guy still doesn't hit my husband up to say how are whats up. He only messaged him and tells him to leave Canada and go back.

We have 2 kids now born in 2023 and all he would say is when you coming back.

Why did u haft to leave. Oh dont message me till ur back in the UK. My husband said hes a very jelouse guy friendly but jelouse. I said maybe u shouldn't visit him say if hes kn to something should my husband block him or leave it alone and what would you have done.

My husband best friend is (M28). I'm already noticing red flags. How do I (F34) mom a wife adress this without getting into a argument. With my husband best friend or should we just block and let ot go

If your bf or husband friend kept constantly doing that saying why u leave for her or why u have to live here what would u have done

My now ex boyfriend and I were together for 3 years before we broke up 4 months ago. It was a very toxic relationship. He was constantly lying, cheating, and never took accountability for his actions. We broke up for the last time 5 months ago. I left due to his suspected infidelity. I started missing him during no contact, and I messaged him suggesting we could try to be friends (stupid, I know). I went over to his house, and after hanging out for a couple of hours, one thing led to another and we had sex. Immediately after we were done, he told me he had a new girlfriend. I know I should have asked before, but I felt very betrayed and put into a position to be the other woman. We had a big fight and he said he never wanted to see me again and that everything we did was a mistake. I left his house took a plan b the next morning.

It’s one month later, and I recently went to the clinic and found out I’m pregnant with twins. I myself am a twin, and I was in complete shock to know that I was going to a mom of them. I’ve told some people about this. Half of them (mostly women) were very excited for me and want me to keep them despite my ex being totally foul, as they are essentially miracle babies. My guy friends told me that I’m potentially ruining my life keeping kids that are connected to a lying scumbag like my ex. I’m incredibly conflicted on what to do. I went through an abortion with the same ex a few years ago since I was still in school and we were long distance. It messed me up mentally and I still have not recovered from it. But I know that if I keep these kids, there’s a chance my ex will not want to support them financially. I don’t know if I can live with seeing him for the next 18 years. I don’t want him back and I don’t love him anymore.

I’ll be 30 in a few months, and I’m afraid I’ll be missing out on my opportunity to have kids in the future if I abort. I’ll be done with graduate school and entering a well paying field in the Summer. I can be a mom, I desperately want to be a mom, but I don’t know if it’s the right time for me. My head is spinning from all these thoughts. What should I do?

Soo yeah, this guy I met less than a year ago was in between the street and a crackhouse. He had a relapse after the death of his mom(which was the absolute last family member he had and where he got about 700k inheritance). Not able to rent is own place or even get out of the street because of his usage, I let him stay at my place to try and get sober and his shit together. After maybe 2 months and a few failed attempt at going cold turkey, he was back at the hospital, but this time instead of coming back to my place, I guess he went back to the city because I didn’t see him anymore(I was a user too and him having to use at my place made it so I was using too of course and he didn’t want me to fall back into the stuff so I think its one of the reason he left). Fast forward 1 month and I get a call from the detox center we were both clients at, it was the police saying he died after a 3 week stay at the hospital. He didn’t have much stuff but he had his room at my place and in his stuff I actually found a written will very briefly saying he gives me everything. The 700k was last around 450k 2 months before his death and I know he had big tax returns waiting so I can safely say a good 400k or 500k left.

I live in Quebec where it is not necessary to have a witness for the signature on the will but I still want to know what I should do cause I have no Idea. I was getting badly into debt (for me) so I feel so incredibly lucky. Anyway, any tips or advice for what to do with the will and once I have the money what to do with the money.

Thank you.

​

how to organize all important documents.

What I have is one big box where I dump all my documents.

like tax documents, medical records, cards (e.g., SSN, other cards I don't need in my wallet), immigration documents, records (e.g, birth certificate), education records, etc.

Any ideas? How do you all organize important documents?

and is there any other ways to secure this important things and is it wise idea to take photos and put in email? or put in bank locker?

I heard most people use their phone and wallet where they put credit card and driver license.

Hello,

I'm at a weird spot in my life and I could really use some help. I'll even take a DM is someone is willing to talk in-depth. I'm turning 31 this year, live in a low to medium cost of living area, make around $240,000 annually through stocks and salary in a remote management position.

My wife and I own our house, just had our first child this year, and have a very healthy savings. My wife graduated with an advanced nursing degree last year and has options at her current employer to jump start her career in that field due to connections but she's held off as my company signaled relocation last year and she didn't want to start just to leave. At first, I was fine with moving but had a rough last year and I'm not on the best terms with my boss. I could move and join a new team easily but at this point, I'm not sure that's what I want to do. I just can't imagine doing this rat race long-term for someone else unless it was positively impacting the world around me or if I was doing it for myself. My ambition and work ethic is going to lead me there one way or another, I just want it to align with my principles.

1. I have a passion for opening my own business and building that. It would be something practical like a moving company. I don't mind physical labor and I really do think I could build a strong customer base quickly with segmentation.

2. I'd love to get more involved in politics and see there is a legislative aid position in my area. I've had an idea about how civic involvement could be improved through a not-for-profit and non-profit company. I want to validate this idea by jumping headfirst into it even though it's a large step back in my career.

3. I could find another remote position to stay where we're at but again, I've realized that the rat race in a corporation isn't for me. I'd rather do it for myself or my community and beliefs.

With my wifes new job, we would be fine financially and we're ahead of the savings and retirement curve. I know I can take some years to pursue something else and if I fail, go back into the private sector and play a bit of catch-up.

So I guess I'm just looking for guidance from those that have been here before and are willing to lend their perspective. Any guidance or advice is appreciated.

This is what I ate yesterday, everyday is somewhat similar (on a weekday at school):

6 am: a small container of either oatmeal or overnight oats

8 to 10 am: tea

9:30 pm: some carrot sticks and a Nutella sandwich on white bread

3 pm: a fried egg, a plate of pasta

8 pm: a plate of oranges, four pieces of dried fig

And then water throughout the day, as well as vitamin and iron supplements daily

I’m asking because whenever I stand up I get dizzy and black out for a moment. How can I fix that?

This is a burner account first of all don’t want to be found out. Anyway so I, 16f have kinda felt empty since covid hit. I’ve been able to hide it pretty well. Ive been pretending that everythin’s fine when it’s really not. it’s not constant but for the majority of that time. Even during the best times I don’t feel as happy as others and happiness fades quickly. also i’ve gone to in addition certian periods of more intense sadness, where it’s harder to manage my lack of motivation, suicidal thoughts, lack of energy, lack of goals, difficulty falling asleep amongst other things. My grades have remained pretty decent but it takes everything out of me. I’ve learned to function but i don’t do much than the basics and don’t really interact with others outside of school. And being alone so much as i am i don’t really have any hobbies i use scroll or watch anime and sometimes just cry to mysel a lot. And keep having to talk myself out of killing myself. i dont really remember a time i was truly completly happy. also i feel like theirs no one to share this with cause i don’t want to end up in the psych war. also i drink so much coffee just to make it through the day. sorry for how convoluted this is. truly what should i do in this situation?

I live in my step fathers house who is really toxic towards me my mom and my siblings, my siblings are his own children, I convinced my mom several times to divorce him but she guilt trips me that she married him for my future and don’t have enough funds but he is forcing me to marry outside of my caste which my dad follows, when my moms is not divorcing him I tried to study abroad from my own I tried three countries but didn’t worked out and I was doing a job for my mom and siblings later they were being ungrateful of my hard earned money and licking my step fathers ass when he is giving them some of the money! I left 2 of the big fours for going abroad but now I’m having some savings and I’m interested in makeup, I did study well and did jobs for my mom but I feel it was waste now because she didn’t appreciated my efforts! I hated boys in my life because of my father and didn’t want to marry yet and she is shaming me that I can’t even find a boyfriend and asking me to run away don’t be a burden on me as I’m 25! I have some money loan which I have taken for going abroad from my previous job! What should I do? Should I be selfish and focus on my dream makeup artist career or business which I actually wanted to pursue and move out at least in a pg? Or should I continue 9to 5 ?

So im not tryna come off as spoiled or anything and I understand that there are kids without homes and all, but my family of 5 lives in a three bedroom apartment and my older brother who is 19 and dad have their own rooms. Has been like this for basically majority of my life except for the 5 months where I lived with my grandma(which having my own room was a literal dream come true despite it being extremely small, I was still extremely happy, and when I say the room was small, I mean it) I just feel like this is kinda unfair and wanna start sleeping in the living room, but the sofas are so uncomfortable to sleep on (tried sleeping on them a few times but ended up going back to my bed) I literally have 0 privacy 99% of the time and absolutely no peace, and I can barely get any sleep because either I have to wait for them to stop doing their bullsh1t so I can finally get some rest, or I cant sleep in on the weekends because my younger pos brother will be up screaming. Oh and there is no thought of sharing a room with my older brother because firstly he wouldnt let that happen and even if he did, his room smells so bad and is sooo flipping dirty. I have to hold my breath whenever I enter his room (not exaggerating) well thats all i gotta say for now, lmk if im being a spoiled little brat or if my concerns are valid as I always prefer the harsh truth over some calming lies.