My husband 45, is always busy. He is in a very important position and has a top leadership role in the region. So business trips, hours long meeting with strategy, plans, budgets. He is the VP. Last year he started to delegate more and in each city in the region has a direct report (so 4 managers on the local level who are under him). But I don't feel his workload dropped. Recently through the HR process he hired his niece and younger sister and we had a brief conflict over it because I didn't think it's fair.

However it helped to become suspicious to put it like that. One day I called him and he said he is still at the office, but then his niece called me for some unrelated thing (she had to pick up our 6 years old daughter ) and told me she would have asked him about the location but he felt sick in the morning and said he is going home. Well he never did come home. Normally I would suspect an affair right away but I wanted to ask for another opinion.

His mother is an alcoholic. She still lives in their small home town. And her situation is bad. She got herself in a coma 2 times. He had a younger brother who died as a baby because she was drinking heavily while pregnant. She cannot take care of herself or her house and the neighbours constantly call him: either that she is sick or fallen somewhere and needed to pick her up or something related. even when not drunk she is not acting normally. She once showed up at the company and started yelling and calling out for him.

My husband decided to hire help and he hired a 29 years old woman who lives around his mother's house. Which made total sense for me but they are getting too close. He is not the type of guy who has time for small talk. He has a rather military style even as a manager. not soft, no emotion focused.

the first thing I did was to ask him directly - not if he cheated, but if he was in his home town - because at home he wasn't, as his niece said. He denied being there at all. But I talked to a neighbour and that woman told me he was there, he comes often actually (Almost daily!) and most of the time he spends at the young woman's house. A small house for which he funded the renovation of. She knows that woman and told me she cooks for my husband not only for his mother. Her daughter knows her even better and said that the woman joked that her duty is to keep stomach full and bals empty and to never waste a single drop. She added that the comment wasn't made specifically about my husband but she said it a few days ago.

do i have reasons to be worried? My husband is an attractive man and has a good position. And he spends a lot of time with her it seems. we have 2 children, a 10 years old son and a 6 years old daughter and he never has time for us

I searched her on social media and she has a weird post and which she makes fun of a song called Labour. her caption said: "so that he never lifts a finger - this is the point. If he has to lift a finger at home while being a perfect provider and a man to look up to you are the problem. you should have married someone who is not ambitious. The crowd is what I would have expected too lol. "

tl;dr: my husband has been spending a lot of time with his mother's caregiver

My husband 45, is always busy. He is in a very important position and has a top leadership role in the region. So business trips, hours long meeting with strategy, plans, budgets. He is the VP. Last year he started to delegate more and in each city in the region has a direct report (so 4 managers on the local level who are under him). But I don't feel his workload dropped. Recently through the HR process he hired his niece and younger sister and we had a brief conflict over it because I didn't think it's fair.

However it helped to become suspicious to put it like that. One day I called him and he said he is still at the office, but then his niece called me for some unrelated thing (she had to pick up our 6 years old daughter ) and told me she would have asked him about the location but he felt sick in the morning and said he is going home. Well he never did come home. Normally I would suspect an affair right away but I wanted to ask for another opinion.

His mother is an alcoholic. She still lives in their small home town. And her situation is bad. She got herself in a coma. She has been like that since forever. He had a younger brother who died as a baby because she was drinking heavily while pregnant. She cannot take care of herself or her house and the neighbours constantly call him: either that she is sick or fallen somewhere and needed to pick her up or something related. even when not drunk she is not acting normally. She once showed up at the company and started yelling and calling out for him.

My husband decided to hire help and he hired a 29 years old woman who lives around his mother's house. Which made total sense for me but they are getting too close. He is not the type of guy who has time for small talk. He has a rather military style even as a manager. not soft, no emotion focused.

the first thing I did was to ask him directly - not if he cheated, but if he was in his home town - because at home he wasn't, as his niece said. He denied being there at all. But I talked to a neighbour and that woman told me he was there, he comes often actually (Almost daily!) and most of the time he spends at the young woman's house. A small house for which he funded the renovation of. She knows that woman and told me she cooks for my husband not only for his mother. Her daughter knows her even better and said that the woman joked that her duty is to keep stomach full and bals empty and to never waste a single drop. She added that the comment wasn't made specifically about my husband but she said it a few days ago.

do i have reasons to be worried? My husband is an attractive man and has a good position. And he spends a lot of time with her it seems. we have 2 children, a 10 years old son and a 6 years old daughter and he never has time for us

oh, an edit: I searched her on social media and she has a weird post and which she makes fun of a song called Labour. her caption said: "so that he never lifts a finger - this is the point. If he has to lift a finger at home while being a perfect provider and a man to look up to you are the problem. you should have married someone who is not ambitious. The crowd is what I would have expected too lol. "