I’m posting here because I have very specific sexual desires, and I want to not ignore them, help figure them out, and maybe find people who relate to me.

I’m a 19-year-old girl that is attractive. This is important because I need everyone here to know I live a normal life where I am desired by men and not rejected because of how I look or act. I am pretty extroverted and easy to be around. I could get into a relationship if I wanted, but I haven’t met a guy I liked. For that same reason, I have also never had sex.

With that said, I fell down the dangerous place that is the internet, and I’ve found I take immense pleasure in seducing guys I meet online. It started as just me meeting randoms to play a video game with, then I met some weirdos that “unraveled” this weird desire of mine, and now I feel like I’m just looking for prey instead of actually getting duos for my game. It’s probably guessable by now, but what I like to do is dominate them, which is very far from what I’m into when it comes to real life. I make them say “I’m a good boy” and call me “ma’am,” but at the same time, outside of freaky stuff, I like acting cute and bratty with them, more like how I actually act in real life.

I love the safety and detachment that comes from talking to men on the internet. I barely need to see them as people, and the guys I meet that way are completely different from guys I meet in real life. I treat each very differently and see them differently too. I also really love power dynamics. I love it when they are older, bigger, more serious, and stricter than me. The idea of this cute little girl making a grown man beg is just very arousing to me.

My favorite dynamic so far was between me and this one guy who acted like he didn’t like me at all and yet still flirted. He would call me slut and whore all the time, and yet when he would jerk off on call and I would edge him to oblivion, he would just say whatever I wanted. After, I would ask him “are you embarrassed?” to tease him, and he would just say something like “oh no, I called a hot girl mommy, what am I supposed to do now?” with a sarcastic tone. I loved that, because sometimes he would refuse to say stuff, so I know he was embarrassed. It’s just that he liked it so much he had to deal with his own pride and put it aside for me. I don’t mind the cute ones that are shy all the time nor the man-whores that are just not ashamed, but they get boring quickly.

I just like being a little devil, to test my limits with them and see if they allow me to dominate them. I’m very complicated. I will feel accomplished when they cave in but lose interest very quickly if they don’t let me push their boundaries too much, but if they do, it also bothers me, and in both cases I leave. I want to embarrass them and make them say please a lot, call them dumb and pathetic one second, then say they’re cute the other. Another main source of attraction for me is when they are being pathetic. The best is when they are aware of it but don’t care because they are way too into it. Though the most important thing is that I don’t feel bored, otherwise I’m pretty flexible.

I know this is gross from an outside perspective, but I really don’t care, as they have no influence in real life. I keep my piggies completely separated. In summary, I’m a bratty little bitch that says “do you hate me?” with a cute voice, only to force them into submission when the time comes.

One of the reasons I think I find comfort in these guys being online is that I can’t lead when it comes to penetration, even if it’s just hands. The max I would ever get involved, if I did this in real life, is dry humping, kissing, licking, or jerking him off. Outside of that, I’m not leading. I don’t like touching men’s butts, so that’s out of the picture. Another thing I don’t like is when they call themselves subs. It ruins the fun for me. For that same reason, I don’t like femboys.

Now, sharing a bit about my experience, I’ve had five “pigs.” The criteria for them to be pigs is me being able to make them call me ma’am, call themselves a “good boy,” or beg for something, all of these in a freaky context. I get really bored when I’m able to put a finger on the type of guy they are and just start answering them less, but pigs are clingy and it pisses me off, so eventually we stop talking.

Anyways, I have a chart for the types of piggies there are and what type of doms they want. I’ll collect them all and make an encyclopedia with cute little annoying piggies.

I hope I didn’t sound like too much of a psycho. Although I barely see these men as more than entertainment, I know not to take things too far and can rationally see them as people. With people I meet in real life, it’s completely different though. I let them do all the advances and feel embarrassed when I do an advance myself.

I need to have a little vent and I guess some advice and validation in what I’m feeling. I’ve spoke to my friends and they just think he’s an arsehole I should stop having sex with but it feels so much more complex.

I (26F) have had an on again off again sexual relationship with this guy (28M) that has been going on for years. For me a sexual relationship is still a relationship so I like to communicate but he doesn’t, he deflects or ignores. I’ve had two successful sexual relationships in the past that have naturally came to an end that were consistent and I felt respected in (with no romantic feelings - just like this one). With those partners the communication was clear on both ends so I know how I’m communicating isn’t out of the norm for a good sexual relationship because being able to express your emotions is super important for everyone involved.

He’s more dominant and has a kink for using someone, which I find really hot - when it’s done properly. We’ve had really good sexual experiences in the past with this kink at play and I’ve honestly found it playful and sexually explorative for me as I just know I really enjoy sex with a dominant man, having me how he likes is really hot, but when I feel my pleasure is being completely ignored or I receive no praise I feel disrespected and just like a hole to him but I feel when I communicate this he just thinks I’m trying to argue, which I’m not I just think we’d have even hotter sex if both our pleasure was being met.

Our most recent sexual encounter has left me feeling icky and actually just a bit sad and deflated (especially as it’s my first time having sex after a dry spell). I started giving him oral sex while he was using a dildo on me but I mentioned multiple times I felt he was skipping foreplay, cut to moments later he puts me into doggy and then it’s over before it’s began. I did communicate after when we were laid together that I felt we could have done better and he just asked why I was complaining which left me feeling dismissed. The thing is, it being quick isn’t my issue at all, it’s that I think my pleasure was completely skipped and actually I was left thinking “did you even enjoy that?” because it felt so just lacking of any intimacy, he could have literally fucked a glory hole and got the same result. I have since messaged him saying I really wasn’t happy with how it went but knowing him this message will probably be ignored and to be honest I kinda just feel bummed about it.

I genuinely don’t know what to do because the time before this one was the best sex we’ve ever had and I think because of our good sexual history and just wanting to feel desired I find it difficult to cut this relationship off. He’s good at talking the talk and usually performing but this time was just not good and I’m genuinely conflicted at what I should do next. Again I am an over communicator and he is the polar opposite so I don’t even think a conversation can be had but I don’t want to be leaving the door open to feel disrespected like that again.

Husband and I have been together for 13 years, and we've never been "compatible" in regards to sex. We've managed to build a good life together despite that, although of course the conflict that its caused (both of us feeling neglected in different ways) has caused big wounds. We do not want to split up, and are open to getting help. There are several reasons we haven't up until this point (cost, having moved states a bunch, the stress of finding a good therapist being a barrier for both of us, etc.)

A couple years ago I realized that I was developing some trauma in our relationship because of how often I was forcing myself to have sex because I didn't want to deal with the tension/fights that would happen if too much time passed (I can't relate and it still bothers me but I do understand that sex is a need for him in a way it isn't for me yet after too much time passes he would just get really irritable and imo begin acting very immature). I am not asexual. I do orgasm when we have sex with a vibrator. But, that is the only part that feels good. The before, the after, everything is generally uncomfortable (sensory stuff - below.)

We've reached a workable compromise that Friday we have date night and sex, so it is at least once a week, but long term it won't work for him. But were both in agreement that I shouldn't force myself to have sex when I seriously am not open to it. Having it once a week at least gives me time to mentally prepare. Once we came to this agreement, I expected more effort on his end to helping me figure out how to make sex more enjoyable, but I just haven't really experienced it from him. He's kind of just waiting for me to give him instructions, but I don't have any either, in my mind we need to figure it out together cuz I kind of need him to experiment lol. It's tiring that it's all on me to find a therapist, to find books, to suggest things to try... I feel a little resigned and frankly annoyed he hasn't put any effort in.

The book Come As You Are has made the fundamental issue really clear: I have sensitive breaks, and an insensitive accelerator. He is the opposite. (Lots of things turn me off, few things turn me on, lots of things turn him on, very little turns him off.) It is possible I have a sensory processing issue. Light touch, bright lights, poor smells, messy spaces, +, are really negatively stimulating for me. I have an almost daily meditation practice I do to help with it. I usually use pot the days we have sex to tone it down, which really does help tremendously, but I don't want to do that forever and plus I am pregnant now. (Don't worry, were both happy about this.)

Unfortunately, this all makes me a really "needy" partner sexually (truly not needy otherwise, I'm quite independent, maybe to a fault, which generally he struggles with) so the context and setting around sex is extremely important for me whether I like it or not. Understandably, this is exhausting for him. But it's a necessity for me in order to mentally be open to sex. My love language is acts of service, and I have asked for a handful of small things that "take the breaks off" (shower before hand, water and towels on the bedside table, lamps and candle on, a few minutes of tidying up the room, no phones in the bed.) I have not asked for this in a demanding way, I've let him know that it would make me feel appreciated and understood which would in turn make sex more appealing. We've agreed to sex on Friday nights, and I would prefer to look forward to it. These things help with that.

He has been helping a lot more around the house. I appreciate it. And, he has never attempted any of the small things I've requested above. It seems like he thinks helping around the house more is enough of a change, but we both work the same amount of hours and I definitely carry the mental load of being the project manager of our lives, so helping around the house doesn't feel like generosity, it just feels like things are finally fair.

And little by little we are working through this, but I just hate feeling like I am asking for too much. But, I need more. I probably need some kind of weird tantric foreplay. WHO KNOWS.

(By the way, we are the only people we have ever slept with and he is for better or for worse the most loyal person I've ever met. I have zero suspicion he will leave or cheat on me, so please just don't even mention it. I have let him know that it is ok if we don't work, but he's just from a we make it work family. And I am too, ultimately. Tired of people stopping at "you are incompatible, end it." We are very compatible in other ways.)

Wow, thank you for reading this far.

Buckle up. This is a long one filled with gorey details. Lol

I (36F) want to have sex with my husband (43M) more often but he isn't interested.

Some back story.

My husband and I have been together since 2021. Sex has ALWAYS been a tough spot for us (except for like the first 6 months). He is high functioning Autistic (I think this detail is important because it kinda sets the stage for how I think he over fixated on certain things), and was raised in a very very rigidly Christian home (sex is bad and only for procreation. Don't masturbate or you will go to hell. Women ONLY provide sex for men and women do not enjoy sex. His older brothers all cheat on their wives and have multiple divorces under their belts. My husband is quite a bit younger than them (like... Totally a whoopsie baby. His brothers are 20-30 years older than him) and he grew up watching how they treated their wives and partners and absolutely hated it. It could have been very easy for him to follow suit, but he went the opposite way. He swore he would never ever be like them, and overly drilled it into himself to never use a woman for sex and that since women did not want sex (religious upbringing) he would never ever initiate, and he would just take care of himself unless she initiated. I know a lot of sexual abuse survivors, and have studied it extensively and his relationship with sex very much has similarities to someone who was sexually abused (he is adamant that he never was). He and I believe that he was so sexually repressed due to religion as an adolescent, that he experienced his own form of "sexual trauma" because of it.

When we met, sex was incredible. He was so loving and passionate. About six months in, things kinda fizzled. Which I know can be normal. It started with us climbing into bed, and we would start spooning, and he would panic if I wiggled my hips into him in a seductive way. Or if I asked him to do oral on me, he said he didn't want to perform anymore of have anything expected from him.

Also a possibly important detail.... He has a form of Erectile disfunction. He cannot cum from vaginal sex and can only orgasm with his hand. He has never before in his life orgasmed from having sex (except twice with me). He says its a common form of disfunction from masturbating too hard.

After those first six months we kinda just fizzled down to once or twice a month. I asked him why, and he said he would rather "take care of it himself". He has made comments that he views orgasms the same as "taking a shit". It's something his body forces him to take care of and when he is done he just washes his hands and moves on. It's gotten to the point that I have anxiety attacks every time I think about initiating because I am so so scared of getting rejected. Again.

I've attempted so many things. I know a lot of women usually end up being the ones to pull away sexually from being burnt out. I've asked him what I can do to support him better at home so he feels more willing to have sex. I go down on him nearly every time we have sex. I've tried adding lingerie. I have told him I am open to literally just about any kind of kink he wants to try out to make it more special. He says no to nearly all of it. He has such a rigid view of sex, that just about anything outside of traditional vaginal sex (or oral) he is opposed to. He says he has no moral problem with it, it's literally just a block he has in his head. He even has said no to me just adding music to set the mood better. He seems like he wants to change it, but he doesn't know how to pull himself into a different head space. I have asked that he stop watching porn, and to please just bring that sexual energy to me which he has done. But since doing that, it hasn't really changed. He doesn't actually bring it to me. He just represses his sexual desire more instead. With 3 kids, it's hard to find time.

He knows how rigid he is, and he doesn't know how to relax and change that even though he wants to. (He DOES have extensive non-sexual traumas from his childhood. He was in and out of foster homes and went through a lot of abuse. He has gone to 12+ years of therapy.).

I am coming to a point, where I want to give up. Not on the marriage, but on any hope of having a robust sexual partnership with him.

We have a beautiful life together. We have three dogs, three kids. We live in a beautiful home that is large enough for us to live our best lives. Money is tight sometimes, but he is my best friend that I can tell anything to. He is an incredible partner in literally every single way outside of sex. He works hybrid from home while I stay home and he still pulls his weight around the house without giving me any guilt about it. He takes care of us so well, and provides me with so much love and support outside of sex. I think for my own mental health, I just have to completely back off sexually but I am so afraid of what that will mean for us romantically. I'm afraid my pushing is emasculating him and making his problems worse.

I'm not really sure what I am asking for here. We would both love to do sex therapy. But at this point in time, it is just not in our budget.

Anyone have any recommendations for how I should handle this? Any book recommendations or videos you think are helpful in dealing with these issues?

Hi, I’m a guy approaching 40 and wanted to get some advice about getting older. Is it possible to get free advice or support on here?

Hi everyone

My wife and I were seeing a couples therapist for a few years and made huge strides together. 100% recommend. Unfortunately, he left the practice and we had. A job change happened around this time, too, and so we have very little room in our schedules to accommodate biweekly or monthly appointments.

Where we do have time is in the evenings, after our kid goes to bed. Is it a done thing among therapists to have telehealth or online only appointments in the late evenings, or how do I find an online therapist in another time zone (we're in eastern, so pacific or mountain?) so it isn't such a major imposition on them?

Thanks in advance.

When I do the actual deed I can’t get hard again afterwards but when I touch myself I can get hard again like nothing and idk why but I’m very sad about it

As the title says I’ve been with this girl for 3 months and I’ve been ejaculating way too quickly when it wasn’t really an issue before! I’m so confused and it’s causing a lot of frustration for me and for her and I don’t know what to do.

I’m 30 I haven’t really exercised for the couple of years and I smoke. I don’t know if these are relevant.

Please help

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. Ever since I met him he’s been a very hard working, loyal, religious guy that controls his desires and stays away from any situation that would lead him to cheating, and I want to be very clear about this, he’s the type of guy that could pull out almost any girl he wanted bc he’s handsome, charismatic, knows how to talk to women and everything, but the only reason why he decides to stay loyal is bc he had already lived a crazy party life, different women everyday, strip clubs, casinos, dr*gs, anything that u can image n then he found himself in a dark place spirituall, where none of these things would fulfill him or give him peace until he became a practicing Muslim. Now, im not being naive when it comes to me believing hes being loyal, that I have no doubt in my mind bc he works w guys only, when he’s not at work (n I can see his location all the time btw) hes w me, he doesn’t go out if its not w me…. anyways, he hasn‘t told me all the things he’s done in his life ofc n I wouldnt like to hear it neither but a few times he has shared little stories of that time when he was living la vida loca n lately Ive been thinking a lot about how boring I must be specially for someone that has done all type of crazy things like that, I understand that the variety part I wont be able to compensate bc I’m just one person n not a redhead one day, a blonde girl the other n then the next one a black girl, but when it comes to the things Im able to do n do have control over, I don’t give out the best bjs, I never even did that before him n now we always start w it which I personally don’t have any issues w but Ik I don’t do oral sex like a stripper or a woman w experience that has learned from multiple men what they like n all types of tricks or “techniques“ or whatever it might be that makes their sex something a guy would have insane amount of pleasure n remember it n want to go back to that girl just to get the same attachment n compromise free unforgettable experience. He doesn’t ask for anything specific n bc he works so hard n in general is always tired when he have sex everything is kinda rushed, basic, like he only wants to get his nut fast n that’s it, nothing fancy, we don’t do lots of touching or maybe he doesn’t do much of it but maybe about 4 times in these almost 3 years n there’s no foreplay n tbh Im not complaining about any of that but what I would like is to be able to one day let him relax n then give him the best oral sex of his life or whatever type of sex where I see his toes curling n he just says to me at the end “wow, that was amazing“.

This has been making feel very insecure n maybe sad lately until certain extent bc even tho he never complains I feel like I suck at having sex, my experienc has came from him n he hasn’t taught me nothing

I am 18F with 18M i have a hard time looking at my body and liking the way I look. I am very much very insecure

he does know that.

we are both a virgin however have had conversations about sex in the past. im scared that he sees what i see. im scared he will be discussed. don't get me wrong hes amazing and thinks i look great and talks about how im " so much out if his league " but im so scared he will think im fat or not like my body. hes a virgin so what if he finds me weird or doesnt like looking at me

has anyone elts felt like this , what did you do

My wife and I haven’t had sex in 6-7 years. Her choice. Long story short she’s working on her issues and maybe down the road we will again. It’s caused depression and a number of issues in me that I deal with daily and she is aware of them.

On top of all of this I’m bisexual. Years ago I used to hook up with men a lot. Mostly for oral sex. This act is an obsession with me and always has been. I’m not ashamed of it and if it offends you I don’t care. It’s been a thing with me as long as I’ve been an adult.

Most of the attraction and excitement with it for me is preforming on men. Not receiving. I don’t know why. I started seeing a sex therapist last fall because I was at the point where I felt like I was going to act on these thoughts real soon.

The urges are sometimes overwhelming but I’ve avoided caving into them so far. Barely. My wife knows about my attraction to this but I can’t have a constructive conversation anymore with her about it. If I gave in it would be incredible and exciting. I feel I need the connection with men. It’s always been a part of who I am.

If I do give in though it will jeopardize my marriage and despite the lack of sex we get along well most of the time. She knows all of this is damaging me mentally even causing dark thoughts. I can’t explain why my wife won’t give me some form of sexual release or show concern for that matter considering how much it’s affected me.

My question is can a sex therapist help me much with this issue? I’m overwhelmed by this. The urges. The obsession. The loneliness. No sex or intimacy for many years. Sexual contact with men off limits forever. Worsening depression dark thoughts.

My sex therapist is highly trained and very interactive and has been helpful but finding peace, answers and constructive ways of dealing with this has eluded me so far. My impression is that I just have to suffer forever with these thoughts. Maybe there’s no answers and no hope for this. Someone tell me I can find peace and have a future. Sorry this is long but I do need encouragement and hope.

I just don't have a high libido. It's kind of frustrating because I genuinely enjoy masturbating and being sexual, but it already takes me a while to get off, and it takes even longer if I'm not "in the mood". I exercise, working on losing weight, I am on BC but only for the past year, and my libido wasn't high before that either. I haven't had sex before so I'm holding out a little hope that maybe the right guy will "bring it out" of me, but I'm starting to think it might just be how I'm wired.

I'm mostly trying to figure out a) how to accept that I'm not the type who can realistically and feasibly masturbate to orgasm every night and just how to be okay with just being less sexual, I guess--sometimes I am in the mood but I need sleep more, or I'll realize that a session has gone on too long and I'm probably not going to have a satisfactory orgasm anyway.

And b), how do I find a partner who will be ok with sex ~once a week, maybe less? I am on the apps and looking to date (no leads yet), but I just worry that my natural sex drive is going to be an issue.

I have a guy I am currently seeing but sex with him feels off. We get together, I get aroused and all wet but when he puts his finger in, I feel the sensation but then it's gone once he's in the same goes for when puts his penis in. But I do orgasm at the end I just don't enjoy it as I should. I did not have these problems with my ex. He is a great guy and all but I don't know if this is a WE problem or a ME problem.

Yep the title is correct. I cannot orgasm unless I have two things: a rather very strong vibrator and videos of people uncontrollably wetting themselves, to the point where they’re trying to stop it but it keeps coming out. It’s been this way for about two years now (with the vibrator, I’ve only ever in my life came to those kinds of piss videos when I started 3-4 years ago) I can’t come for anybody, only for my self when I have the videos and my toy and it’s becoming a real problem.

I have a girlfriend and she is determined to make me cum (we started a few days ago) but I can’t tell her that I only can from piss and a vibrator, I haven’t told anybody. As of right now I don’t see any way she can make me come no matter what she does, even if she does the thing in the videos, I still would need a lot more than that. I can’t just see one wetting and finish, I have to see multiple, some times a lot more than that, sometimes it has taken me over an hour to cum because when I start, I won’t stop until I’ve finished. To make things worse I masturbate typically every day, some times even multiple times a day.

Also, to add to that, all of the use of the vibrator has made my clit almost “dull” I guess you could say. When I use my fingers it barely feels pleasurable at all; it doesn’t hurt, it’s like I’m rubbing my leg or something, just not really any feeling comes from it. I can only feel good from penetration.

Recently since my vibrator broke, I had to buy a new one and I feel it on my clit but it only really feels good when I’m about to cum or if I angle it a very certain way (which is hard to do and doesn’t even last for long as I have to keep moving it or it gets uncomfortable. Just as a side note—my old vibrator that broke was pretty pretty good and it felt great a lot of the time, but it was a LOT stronger than my new one.)

Another problem is that I can’t seem to find any new videos *anywhere.* I’m running out of new content because at this point I swear I’ve watched it all, (I’ve looked up every possible idea that might have what I want and I still can’t find anything I haven’t seen.) and keep in mind that it HAS to be a completely involuntary wetting; I need them to struggle and end up bursting but keep trying to hold it.

I don’t want to be like this anymore, I don’t want to only cum to piss videos. I don’t want to need a toy just to feel good. I want to cum for my girlfriend—I want her to make me cum with just her body, no piss, no toys, no hours and hours just to merely get close. I want to feel good with other people, I mean that’s pretty much the whole point of sex! At least for me it is. I don’t want to feel stuck anymore, I want to let go and have someone take care of me without all these requirements.

I am asking for a solution or at least something that’ll help. Any suggestions are welcomed and appreciated, you can even make fun of me for it, just anything to help me move on. I don’t want this anymore. Just send some advice.

Please

Hi, so I’m looking for advice from a sex therapist/others who have struggled with the same thing and maybe overcome it, but long story short, I’m having issues cumming during sex with my bf who isn’t lasting very long.

Longer story: I (24 yo F) have been with my bf (25 yo M) for 2 years now and he is the love of my life. He is my best friend and I can legit see myself settling down forever with this man. He is my first ever partner and I am his 2nd, so we are both fairly inexperienced to a degree.

In the beginning, sex was not “mind blowing” but I definitely was able to have a few orgasms with him, and I enjoyed it. At the time and before I met him, he struggled with masturbating almost daily, and now he’s managed to cut it down throughout our relationship successfully (no longer doing it). Now that we’re living together since December of this year, we’ve started better habits (less drinking, working out, eating right, etc.) and it’s been very good for us.

However on the flip side, sex has kinda become an issue. He doesn’t last long (maybe like 1-2 minutes of penetration and he’s done) and I haven’t had an orgasm with him in like 5-6 months.

We have pretty solid communication, and I have brought this up to him before and wanted to figure out a solution. Of course, he is a man and I can tell when I bring these things up, it hurts his pride. He understands that this is starting to get to me and it can potentially damage our relationship, but I think we’re both just too inexperienced to figure out the root of the problem and how to fix it. Realistically, I think this is a two person problem. With me I don’t think I’m fully able to orgasm with the use of toys/vibrators since they can make it almost “hurt” from the sensitivity or perhaps it’s just a mental block on my end.

I still plan on talking with him about this deeper and encourage foreplay, using de-sensitizing condoms, and just trying to talk things out about how we can better help the situation. However (with his permission) I wanted to make this post and maybe see if anyone else may have struggled with this and overcome it or maybe some advice on how to go from here.

A bit of background. I (F53) and hubby (M65) have been married for twenty years. Sex has gone downhill majorly since he’s been on medication for some issues, which now also stops him getting an erection although he hasn’t lost his sex drive.

Let me be clear - that part doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I adore this man and we’ve generally made it work with other things like toys and plenty of oral.

But lately it’s just become incredibly boring. It’s always the same position, always the same toys and it’s boring me to tears. I never thought he’d turn so vanilla.

I’ve definitely tried communicating ways to spice things up but it falls on deaf ears. I’ve suggested new toys, watching porn, different positions, some
light bondage, even bringing another person in for a bit of extra fun (which we have both done with other people before we were together). I asked him to go and buy me some slutty or sexy lingerie and surprise me with it, and I’ll do whatever he wants…….but nothing.

I’m losing my mind here 😂 What else can I try? I’m honestly tempted to go and book a SW for myself just to get some satisfaction.

31F and always had so much trouble with orgasms, I’m starting to feel like I’m broken!

I never masturbated as a kid/teen and honestly thought that the female orgasm was a myth until I had already been having sex with men for 3 years. My friends started telling me that they were having orgasms and I finally sat down to try and learned how to do it myself. Since then I’ve had many sexual partners (over 20) and to this day, only orgasmed with one of them. Men have tried for hours going down on me, using their fingers, etc and I just can’t do it. I can’t even do it myself in front of them. I really relax, I don’t put pressure on it and just focus on feeling the sensations, maybe having a fantasy in my head and not having orgasm as the goal. But after every sexual encounter where the man cums 2, 3, 4 times, I just feel it’s so unfair. I want to experience real pleasure and orgasms in my sexual encounters! It can sometimes be quite difficult to achieve even when I’m alone, but I can usually get myself there within about 15 minutes. I focus on my technique so I can replicate it when I’m with a man, but nothing has worked so far. I also feel nothing at all when a man goes down on me the vast majority of the time. I feel angry when my friends talk about how much they enjoy receiving head. How can I get more out of it?? It honestly feels like the man could be licking my elbow. I’m also a massive squirter and men love that and think that must mean that I’m experiencing a lot of pleasure, but that also feels like nothing to me, I can’t even tell that I’m doing it.

My main questions are:
- how can I learn to orgasm with men? - how can I learn to enjoy receiving head?

Is it always a good idea to tell your sex therapist that you’re attracted to her? I feel a motherly transference and a sexual one as well. I really don’t think I’m able to tell her about my erotic transference but do therapists in general recommend to do so? I respect her as a professional and a person so much and she’s helped me a lot. I don’t want to hurt our connection but it’s becoming distracting. I feel like it will disappoint her and make me look creepy.

I'm getting married soon and have had limited sex experiences, but I have masturbated consistently for 13 years. My concern is that I have masturbated in the same way so long (I am a female) that I won't be able to orgasm with him easily. It is so hard to not be in my head and want to step in and "help". I love being with my fiance and want to set us up for success when we are having sex regularly. He is loving and a great partner. How do I get out of my head and open the door to new ways to orgasm?

I am also trying to take a break for the next few months leading up to the wedding to build some anticipation and open myself to new ways of being touched and loved!

hey I’m 15m black and I’m having my first time soon and I have a few questions so basically my first question is about penetration Im around 6-6.2 length and 5 girth but im also curved to the left and I wanted to know how do I put it in without hurting myself do I adjust my body or do I try to make it a bit straight, also how long should I try to last I can get about 15-25 with stops so is that fine .And just give me some more tips thanks guys!