Married and bisexual
My wife and I haven’t had sex in 6-7 years. Her choice. Long story short she’s working on her issues and maybe down the road we will again. It’s caused depression and a number of issues in me that I deal with daily and she is aware of them.
On top of all of this I’m bisexual. Years ago I used to hook up with men a lot. Mostly for oral sex. This act is an obsession with me and always has been. I’m not ashamed of it and if it offends you I don’t care. It’s been a thing with me as long as I’ve been an adult.
Most of the attraction and excitement with it for me is preforming on men. Not receiving. I don’t know why. I started seeing a sex therapist last fall because I was at the point where I felt like I was going to act on these thoughts real soon.
The urges are sometimes overwhelming but I’ve avoided caving into them so far. Barely. My wife knows about my attraction to this but I can’t have a constructive conversation anymore with her about it. If I gave in it would be incredible and exciting. I feel I need the connection with men. It’s always been a part of who I am.
If I do give in though it will jeopardize my marriage and despite the lack of sex we get along well most of the time. She knows all of this is damaging me mentally even causing dark thoughts. I can’t explain why my wife won’t give me some form of sexual release or show concern for that matter considering how much it’s affected me.
My question is can a sex therapist help me much with this issue? I’m overwhelmed by this. The urges. The obsession. The loneliness. No sex or intimacy for many years. Sexual contact with men off limits forever. Worsening depression dark thoughts.
My sex therapist is highly trained and very interactive and has been helpful but finding peace, answers and constructive ways of dealing with this has eluded me so far. My impression is that I just have to suffer forever with these thoughts. Maybe there’s no answers and no hope for this. Someone tell me I can find peace and have a future. Sorry this is long but I do need encouragement and hope.