u/parwastella9

Hi all! After a long distance relationship for a year (we have seen each other every two weeks and highly prioritized this), my fiance proposed to me recently. We are both absolutely thrilled, and so excited for the next phase of life. Truthfully, as a couple slightly older than many in Christian circles, we are pretty ready to be married. This is where the struggle comes in... We would really love to celebrate with family and friends, that is the dream; however with multiple other family events and weddings, surgeries scheduled, and aging grandparents, I am starting to realize planning a true wedding this year will be extremely difficult.

As we've been long distance I will need to make a move part way across the country and get a new job. In order to be able to move on and truthfully start our life together, we are considering 'elopement' (with parents/grandparents present, and our pastor marrying us), and then planning a wedding next year.

I'm concerned how this would be perceived though by other Christian friends and family. I know that it would be right before God, but struggling with the idea of keeping it a secret. I know many friends and family may be disappointed if they did know, but I would still love to plan a wedding and have them all there 🥹

Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated. My fiance and I are truly ready to start our lives together and be able to move forward, but it is feeling really difficult right now.

Hi all! After a long distance relationship for a year (we have seen each other every two weeks and highly prioritized this), my fiance proposed to me recently. We are both absolutely thrilled, and so excited for the next phase of life. Truthfully, as a couple slightly older than many in Christian circles, we are pretty ready to be married. This is where the struggle comes in... We would really love to celebrate with family and friends, that is the dream; however with multiple other family events and weddings, surgeries scheduled, and aging grandparents, I am starting to realize planning a true wedding this year will be extremely difficult.

As we've been long distance I will need to make a move part way across the country and get a new job. In order to be able to move on and truthfully start our life together, we are considering 'elopement' (with parents/grandparents present, and our pastor marrying us), and then planning a wedding next year.

I'm concerned how this would be perceived though by other Christian friends and family. I know that it would be right before God, but struggling with the idea of keeping it a secret. I know many friends and family may be disappointed if they did know, but I would still love to plan a wedding and have them all there 🥹

Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated. My fiance and I are truly ready to start our lives together and be able to move forward, but it is feeling really difficult right now.

Hi Everyone! My fiance and I are engaged and are in the beginning phases of wedding planning, but I am struggling so much. We would like to be married within 6 months ideally due to life circumstances right now. I have always envisioned a larger wedding as we have many family and friends that I know would love to celebrate with us and that would be special to have them there, but due to many factors including, but not limited to the below, we are starting to consider eloping.

- my cousins wedding, my sister's wedding and wedding events, and his sister's wedding and wedding events in the next few months

- aging grandparents (93 and 95) who are thankfully in good health but slowing down and we are concerned if we wait too long

- 2 trips that were scheduled 6+ months that can't be moved for volunteering/work

- close family with lengthy trips that are already scheduled

- my mom has 5 surgeries the next 14 months

- my two best friends being pregnant and would not be able to attend anything the last 3 months of this year

- planning a cross country move and in the midst of the job search me to be near him, and we are not planning to live together before marriage...we have been long distance too long and are ready to be together!

Needless to say, there is a LOT going on, and without too much detail, it is starting to feel impossible to plan a wedding this calendar year. My family is aware and supportive if we choose something small, and do a wedding next year, but I am really struggling.

How do people just elope and keep it a secret? My family would know, but I feel like I would be lying at the wedding. I don't think I'm comfortable keeping it a secret from family and friends like....forever?! With the wedding actually feel like a wedding if we had already been married for 9 months? How do people do this??

I know it will all work out, and truly I love my fiance and I'm excited to start our life together, I just really don't know how to manage my own emotions around it all.

Kind help or thoughts on thoughts on this are so appreciated 💜