He cums too fast and I don’t come at all. Help?
Hi, so I’m looking for advice from a sex therapist/others who have struggled with the same thing and maybe overcome it, but long story short, I’m having issues cumming during sex with my bf who isn’t lasting very long.
Longer story: I (24 yo F) have been with my bf (25 yo M) for 2 years now and he is the love of my life. He is my best friend and I can legit see myself settling down forever with this man. He is my first ever partner and I am his 2nd, so we are both fairly inexperienced to a degree.
In the beginning, sex was not “mind blowing” but I definitely was able to have a few orgasms with him, and I enjoyed it. At the time and before I met him, he struggled with masturbating almost daily, and now he’s managed to cut it down throughout our relationship successfully (no longer doing it). Now that we’re living together since December of this year, we’ve started better habits (less drinking, working out, eating right, etc.) and it’s been very good for us.
However on the flip side, sex has kinda become an issue. He doesn’t last long (maybe like 1-2 minutes of penetration and he’s done) and I haven’t had an orgasm with him in like 5-6 months.
We have pretty solid communication, and I have brought this up to him before and wanted to figure out a solution. Of course, he is a man and I can tell when I bring these things up, it hurts his pride. He understands that this is starting to get to me and it can potentially damage our relationship, but I think we’re both just too inexperienced to figure out the root of the problem and how to fix it. Realistically, I think this is a two person problem. With me I don’t think I’m fully able to orgasm with the use of toys/vibrators since they can make it almost “hurt” from the sensitivity or perhaps it’s just a mental block on my end.
I still plan on talking with him about this deeper and encourage foreplay, using de-sensitizing condoms, and just trying to talk things out about how we can better help the situation. However (with his permission) I wanted to make this post and maybe see if anyone else may have struggled with this and overcome it or maybe some advice on how to go from here.