r/CheatersConfronted

This man was NOT wearing a wedding ring when I met him in a very normal work, not like a club or anywhere where you’d take off your wedding ring if you were trying to cheat. At least I would think…but according to any social media my bestie found he’s married with one year old twins 🙃 but per me confronting him about if he’s single or not he said he’s not single but in a poly relationship and has proceeded to be very sexual with me via text ever since. and mentioning visiting me as well. Not just that but he is my vibe 100000%.

I should probably cut it off but part of me has this weird attachment to him. I know it sounds crazy and I’ve never been “another woman” type of person AT all. Actually super strong in my faith and the kicker is apparently he is as well. If he’s married, she seems so sweet and I don’t want this for her but per him he is not.

Anyway I almost don’t know what I’m getting at right now other than just advice or similar stories about feeling SO connected to someone who is possibly taken. I tried to stop talking to him even though I didn’t want to but he’s kept up convo and it’s so hard for me to resist him. 🫠

Separated now but I want to find out the truth.

Please help.

I’m 32. was married to my wife for 5 years. Together for 8, we have a dog, a rented apartment, the whole thing

Found out in April. The way it happened is so stupid I almost laugh telling it… We both work from home so it was a normal day like any other for us.She had a dentist appointment so she left around noon, I was on a client call. Her laptop was open on the dining table and she’d left her WhatsApp web logged in. I wasn’t snooping, I genuinely just walked past and a message notification popped up on screen. The contact name was something like “R” which didn’t mean anything to me at first because she works in HR and talks to a lot of people. So it was pretty normal to me, seeing a random guy text her.

But the preview said “last night was different” I stood there for a second and wondered whether to open it or not then I sat down and opened it without overthinking it.. I wish I hadn’t but I also needed to.The chat went back almost 7 months, It wasn’t a one time thing or even a slow build that fizzled. It was consistent & regular. There were voice notes, intimate ones. There were messages where she was clearly texting him from our bed, timestamps at like 1am and 2am on nights, One message she sent said something like “feel so guilty but also can’t stop” and he replied with something reassuring went up to the media only to see exchange of nudes, sexting and daily good mornings and nights and I just closed the laptop and sat there for a while.

She came home around 2:30, I was back at my desk. I don’t know how I got through the next 4 hours of pretending but I did, casually asked about her appointment. Confronted her that night after dinner. Just asked her directly who R was .She froze. Like actually froze mid sentence. And then she didn’t deny it, didn’t say I was misreading anything. She just sat down slowly and put her face in her hands. She said it started through work, he was a vendor she’d been coordinating with since last year. Said the physical part happened 4 times, always on days I was traveling for work (sales job). I travel maybe once a month so she had clearly been keeping track.
The part that broke me wasn’t the cheating. It was when I asked her if she was in love with him and she took too long to answer but said no.

We liver like polite roommates for about 3 months I just kept thinking one morning I’d wake up and feel differently. Never happened. Told her few months later I wanted to separate. She cried andasked for more time. I said I didn’t have any more time left in me. The dog thing is the hardest part genuinely.
I’m doing okay I think. Some days are fine. Some days I’m just really tired. Started going on long walks at night which sounds sad but honestly helps more than anything else has, that is it I guess no big lesson, just happened.

I don’t know how to even say this properly… but I messed up my life.

I lost her, and this time it’s even worse because I know exactly why.

There was another girl. And I hate admitting that. I crossed a line I should have never crossed. I could’ve been loyal. I should’ve been loyal. She deserved that from me… and I still chose wrong.

I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone.

Now every day feels heavy. I wake up with regret and go to sleep thinking about her. About how I hurt the one person who truly cared about me. I really loved her… I still do.

And the worst part is, I can’t even blame anything else. It was me. My choices. My mistake.

I traded something real for something temporary… and now I’m left with nothing but guilt and memories.

If I could go back, I would choose her. Every single time.

But I can’t.

So now I just have to live with it… and it’s making me feel miserable every single day.

Tldr: he opened his phone and i saw the woman's name he called me while being intimate at the top of his texts threads. And more! I got what I deserved.

So I 34f have been dating a guy 42m for a about a year. Our relationship started out as an affair. I was in a marriage I hated so much I wasnt eating, getting drunk every night, the whole thing. He was single.

Anyway things started out fine, just hitting it, planned on quitting it, but if course caught feelings.

He helped me get out of my marriage by just being there and answering questions I had. I needed support and he was there. After I was officially divorced he asked me to date him. I said yes, happily ever after right? We started making plans to live together. Yada Yada.

He started coming to my place after i was officially divorced and while we were right in the middle of some adult fun time, he called out this woman's name who happens to be an ex. I was like excuse the absolute f out of me sir WHAT?! He apologized, very remorseful all that jazz. I chose to let it go. It happens right? Mistakes were made but I thought I'm gonna let this go and just keep it in mind. He told me he didnt talk to his exs and that when hes done hes done. That was a lie.

Anyway one night a few months later, I was at his place helping get it fixed up to sell and forgot my phone in my car. Asked him to use his he said sure and opened it and scrolled to the text thread I needed for me. How kind. Little did he know I saw his texts. I saw her name at the freaking top of his most recent. I was seeing red. Standing there holding a phone in my hands shaking so badly heart pounding like i was doing cardio at the gym. I sent off my text and backed out and looked at hers. Let me tell ya. I only saw a small amount but I quickly left and told him id see him back at my place.

When he got home I was mad. Asked to see his phone. He did let me. And got in the shower. I went through all of the messages in that text thread in less than 30 minutes, I looked at his Google maps, I looked at his call logs. He was calling and texting this woman every day. Told her he loved seeing her. Told her how seeing her brought up old memories. Told her he liked her jiggly booty. Let her talk bad about me. Told her how beautiful she was. BOUGHT THIS WOMAN A CHRISTMAS GIFT. He was going to her house. He invited me to Thanksgiving at his parents and took food home for leftovers but it was really for her. The stuff I saw. He defended it as just friends. LMAOOOOO NOPE. Needless to say I went right back to old habits. Got absolutely black out drunk on a Tuesday night because I couldn't handle it. He also lied to me about meeting her and all this stuff. I already knew but he just kept trying to lie to me and deny he ever met up with her outside work. Yep they work together. Anyway its been an ongoing thing for us over the last few months.

Tonight I asked him about another woman. He had gone out of town the first few months of dating and called her his coworker but always called the men coworkers by name so I hit on that right away and was like wtf. Anyway... tonight I asked him outright if she had gone to his hotel room while he was there. This dude yall... again looked me right in my face and told me she didnt but I ALREADY KNEW SHE DID. I skimmed her messages the same freaking night I looked at the other woman's. I like to move in the shadows after all. I then asked to see his phone again and it instantly turned into a privacy thing, how it was ridiculous, he scrolled through the messages to read them to make sure what was said. Didnt want to give me his phone. When I finally got it he hovered and was bombarding me with questions so I couldn't focus.

If hes gonna cheat WITH YOU, hes gonna cheat on you. Ive never cheated before this. I was miserable and needed out before I wasnt around anymore and I made poor choices. I shouldn't have ever done what I did. But I guess this is the karma for it slapping me in the face over and over.

I hope this sorry gives yall who are hurting because they have been cheated on a little hope that what goes around comes around. Im back to being miserable. Only now its because im worried about being cheated on and lied to.

Lesson learned. Got exactly what I deserved. Heartache and pain. The same I did to someone else.

I (24F) matched with a (26M) on hinge a couple of months back. We've been casually dating since then and I found out today he's been dating someone else for over two years.

We went on a few dates and there was nothing out of the ordinary. If anything he was really loving. He would hold my hand, and call me pet names like my love, very reassuring. All the things I was looking for. From the start, he stated that he wanted a relationship and wasn't looking for a hookup. Through the dates, I believed those were his intentions.

He lived an hour and a half away so it was hard to spend time together. After a couple of dates, he seemed a little bit stressed out like something had happened. He started canceling dates telling me he had car troubles, so I would pick him up. Since we lived so far apart I suggested movie streaming dates as an alternative. He started leaving me on read for hours and would disappear. I would think it was just stress because he would trauma dump me about all his problems but then would tell me how he missed me, how he wanted to cuddle, spend time together, etc...

Obviously, he was going through a lot so I decided to give him an out.

I told him “I know you have a lot going on and you’re overwhelmed with things so I wanted to reach out and see if continuing this is something that you want and can do? I really like you but I also appreciate communication and I feel like you are withdrawing due to stress so I don’t want to drag this out if you aren’t ready.”

He replied "I understand, I will communicate more and I won't let my stress hold me from that. I'm sorry my love, I swear it's not on purpose"

After that he started texting me like normal again, so I thought things were better. Until last night I went to the Sbarina Carpenter Short n Sweet Tour.

Had a blast, she even sang my favorite song, Mamma Mia! The next day I posted videos of the concert on my Insta Story, when I saw someone follow me and reply to my Mamma Mia video. She told me how excited she was for the song. I noticed that we both followed the guy I was dating, I assumed it was a friend of his that also went to the concert. I clicked on her profile and My heart dropped and I was so confused.

I replied back to her " Omg I was so excited too! Also hey girlie I know this is weird but I just looked on your profile and saw a highlight dedicated to the guy I've been casually dating for a few months... is there anything I should know about you too?"

She said "Dating??? He told me you guys were friends, you came up on my suggestions and I saw that you went to the concert too, so I added you. We're dating, now I'm the one wondering if there's something I should know"

We connected the dots together and I told her we have a date planned for tonight! So we start scheming on how to catch him in the act. I finalized the details of the date with him and reported it back to her. The date is dinner at Bahama Breeze. She's sending me screenshots of their texts and the lies he's telling her about who he'll be with. Used his mom as the cover story saying that she's treating him to dinner (yeah dinner at this time). So we plan for her to meet us there and crash the date.

I Have to go now

I’m sitting in my car right now before the date I’ll update later...

My husband of 12 years had been going to sex workers (3 that he admits to.. but claims no sex just bj) and a dozen times to massage parlor.

I left. It’s been 8 months. But I am still struggling so hard. I’m a smart, capable woman with my own business. I look after myself and have confidence in almost everything I do…. But I still can’t seem to shake this.

Now (learned through friends) he’s talking about “testing the waters” and putting himself out there to see what’s there (dating wise) .

I feel like I should be good. Clearly not my guy. I dodged a bullet… I get it.

But I still miss him and it’s still so painful. I couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else.

Anyone else ever experience this? Tips?

Hello, I would like some outside perspectives on my relationship situation because I honestly don’t know anymore if I’m overreacting or not.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years in a long-distance relationship (around 800km apart).

She has known a guy called John for about 2 years, and they have been in frequent contact for around 1.5 years.

At first, I actually tried to connect with him myself. I even invited him to a festival with us because I trusted her and wanted to be open-minded.

However, around April 2025, he started becoming more and more present in her life. He slowly became “the guy for everything.” If she wanted to go to a concert, he was suddenly the only option. If she wanted to do something else, again he was always the first and only person mentioned.

Then in December 2025 something happened that really bothered me:

On a Saturday she told me multiple times she was staying home and “having a quiet evening.” Later she suddenly went to the cinema with him. According to her it was spontaneous, but apparently by 11am it was already clear they would spend the day together. After the cinema they also went out for ice cream.

The next day she texted me saying she noticed it had bothered me. What confused me was: if she already noticed I was uncomfortable, why continue extending the date afterwards?

After that, we agreed that they would only do things in group settings. But even after that:

When someone asked if they would travel together by train to a group meetup, she reacted with a heart emoji after he agreed.

During another group meetup, she drove him home afterwards.

These are small things individually, but together they keep bothering me.

I repeatedly told her that I felt uncomfortable with the emotional closeness between them. Especially because some of the activities they planned together were things we used to do during our own early dating phase.

She always reassured me:

“He is just a friend.”

“There is nothing flirty.”

“You are overthinking this.”

In April 2026 I saw messages on her phone that honestly changed my perspective completely:

She called him “Süßmaus” (a cute/flirty nickname) after he said he wanted her attention.

She randomly wrote “You’re the best ❤️” when he didn’t reply for 5 minutes.

She wrote “thinking about you” when he asked what she was doing that evening.

I also found out they had planned to meet far more often than I knew. Usually I was only informed shortly before or after meetings happened.

They met for walks around 5 times, but apparently around 20 meetings were planned and then cancelled or replaced with phone calls.

They also planned movie nights together twice. Those only didn’t happen because, according to her, “my boyfriend will be here.”

When confronted, her responses became:

“It was stupid of me.”

“You need to see the context.”

“He talks like that with everyone.”

“He is just a friend.”

The difficult part for me is that in the past, whenever I brought this topic up, my feelings became the problem instead. I was labeled as jealous or insecure, and told that my anxiety was something I needed to work on.

After I saw the chats and finally stood my ground properly for the first time, she ended contact with him completely.

Now I honestly don’t know how to process all of this.

To me this feels very close to emotional cheating, especially because there was secrecy, emotional intimacy, minimizing, and shifting blame onto me whenever I expressed discomfort.

Am I overreacting, or are my feelings justified?

From the beginning he said that he had crazy exs, while a month after moving tot he same town as him we went out to a street dance and he left me by myself with random people all night and the we got to his home and I noticed a girl had added me as a friend from his hometown and I asked if he knew her he said that it was his crazy ex.

I ended up going home to my house because I was mad about him leaving me alone with random people all night. I woke up at 5 that morning and he had texted me good morning and that he was sorry but he was going back to sleep.

I went to go check instagram and noticed I had a message request, I open it and it’s the girl who had added me on Facebook, she said that he had been messaging her that he missed and loved her the night before.

I drove with sad girl music and sobbed all the way to his house and I got there and I walked upstairs and I sat and I waited for him to wake up and silently cried. He wakes up and says what’s wrong to which my response was who were you messaging last night. He lied and he said no one. I said I have physically proof that you were texting your ex.
He said his friend had texted her ( I now know this is a lie)

A couple months go by and I am at his moms we had just been out with his friends and he falls asleep but his phone keeps going off over and over again. I open it and realize most of the conversation has been deleted. So I recover it, it is him messaging someone saying that he loves them and the person responds with leave your girlfriend and come be with me. He then said come pick me up and we can talk.

I immediately was like wtf. So I grab my keys to leave and his mom wakes up. She tells me to sleep on the couch and she will go talk to him. He then comes out and begs me to talk to him. So I go into the room and I ask who he’s messaging. He lies and tries to show me a different number and claim it’s one of his friends. I tell him I’m not stupid who were you messaging.

He then repeatedly keeps saying he can’t tell me over and over and over again. So I say let’s go out to my car then because either you’re telling me or I’m driving home. We get in the car and he immediately starts crying that he’s not gay over and over again ( mind you I am bisexual I don’t care what you like just don’t cheat)

Come to find out this is a guy who’s he’s been messaging for the last couple of months and the guy has sent him text of telling he wants to have sex with him and videos of him self.

We ended up driving back to where we live and he begs me not to leave him and say he will delete all his social media. My social media was deleted for 4+ months and then I came to find out that his never was.

A couple months pass and I saw a tik tok someone had posted and liked it. Then about 3 hours later I start getting comments on tik tok from a video I had posted of him. That say girl that’s sad he’s playing you. I then go to her profile and she has uploaded tik toks explaining that he has been being her lunch and ubering over to see her.

I confront him, he claims that she’s crazy. (Insert eye roll)

A few months go by he is on a bachelor trip with some of his buddies and I get a message request from the first girl his “ crazy ex” saying that he’s been messaging her and following and unfollowing her.
I then calm him because we are supposed to get married a month after this.

He claims she is just trying to sabotage our marriage.

Well long story short we got married and are getting a divorce and him and the crazy ex are already back together.

me and my girl have been together for 11 months. recently weve been having lots of issues and she didnt wanna be together anymore because it was too much and she wanted to work on herself. and i tried to force it for a little bit until we compensated on a break. she was hanging out with her friend and got drunk and fought someone, lost her phone in the process and got arrested, only know this because her friend had to tell me. its been a entire day since ive heard from her and shes been staying at a friends house whom i dont know and i have access to all her socials so i know shes not ghosting me ect. come to find out one of my close friends cousin told them my gf and her friend were going to go on a 2 man with him and my gf backed out because he knew me. shes lied and hid things in the past but never to this degree and i dont know if i should just leave or if i can still fix this relationship and heal with her. what would u do in this situation..? shes literally the love of my life and i hate to see our relationship come to this.