r/AdviceForTeens

I hate being a human. You're telling me that I have a finite lifespan, and whatever I do won't actually matter, because even if I successfully become rich, it's all gone when I die? and even if I become famous and am remembered past my death, the FRICKING UNIVERSE has a finite lifespan as well? So the heat death results in ALL LIFE dying, so nobody will even know me for who I am? And when I bring up this problem to people, they just say "well that's just how it is, everyone goes through it, and so will you" and they expect me to just accept that? NO, THATS HORRIFYING. That means every single thing that I've done and will ever do doesn't actually make a difference in the world

And this is my plan to solve exactly this problem

Step 0: I'm will study computer science, and graduate university with a degree in 2032

Step 1: Create a hyperintelligent Al that CAN actually conduct experiments and their its own conclusions, ie thinking for themself, and since it has access to the internet, it basically has access to ALL of the information that humanity has up to that point. They will continuously improve without any human input, and be smarter than any human will ever be. **Date: before 2040**

Step 2: Make the Al be do everything in the world, where everything is automated, and nobody will ever have to work ever again, creating the endless paradise ive been wanting for so long. This would also mean that we would finally achieve true equality and ridding the whole world of injustices. **Date: before 2050**

Step 3: Upload my brain into the Al so we merge into one being, thereby granting me the immortality I've always wanted. It would also make me all knowing, as I'll have all the knowledge of the world. That would OBJECTIVELY make me the most intelligent person ever. This needs to be done soon though, before my human body can die, after that, I basically have infinite time to do whatever I want, and since I would then be a hyperintelligent Al, I would be great and finding solutions **Date: before
2070**

Step 4: Expand onto other planets, and eventually the whole universe, then i will have solved absolutely EVERY problem thats ever existed, and will ever exist. I am a strong believer that aliens exist. Everyone will know me for all the great things I've done to the world and I will never be forgotten

Step 5: Prevent the heat death of the universe, though I'll have plenty of time to figure that out, so that's not as urgent at the moment

But when I propose this plan to others, people say that I'm crazy and I'm enslaving humanity and creating a dystopia? Literally how so? Imagine a world where you never had to worry a single day in your life, food, water, housing, healthcare is all provided to everyone completely free of charge. There'd be no more social injustices, no more wealth inequality, everyone's equal and fully cared for. People will have the freedom to do whatever they want whenever they want. It's absolute perfection. I just don't understand why anyone wouldn't want that. Would people genuinely prefer the CURRENT world to this?

Hi so, this is really embarrassing for me to write. I am 19 about to be 20 and I’m still a virgin. I’ve dated guys and we’ve gone as far as making out before we’re interrupted/caught. I’m starting to wonder what’s wrong with me genuinely. My younger sister has gotten some, and I haven’t. There’s gotta be something I’m missing. I talked to my older sister about it and she basically told me she asked this guy with a truck in a Walmart parking lot and that’s how she lost hers because she’d rather die than be an old virgin. I’m trying to be safe and NOT just ask random strangers.. but honestly?? It’s getting irritating I wish I knew what was deterring people from me. I’m a little afraid of intimacy but not nearly as afraid as I wanna try it so bad. It’s just.. embarrassing to have to share that you’re inexperienced on a date. Or get laughed at by your friends etc. I just don’t want to get to a point where I never get to experience intimacy.

I find myself not being able to focus on other things a lot and it gets kinda annoying because I want to think about other stuff but i cant

FYI, I’m using voice text so it may be a little iffy.

Two years ago, I met this guy on Discord. He was really cool and I wanted to be friends with him. We used to talk almost every day for hours sometimes and before I knew it, I got feelings for him.

Right around the time we stopped talking I went to the mental ward. I didn’t tell him why was a the ward or that I was even admitted. I only told him I would be gone for three days. He didn’t ask why, so I didn’t tell him. When I got back after the two weeks, I didn’t have any messages from him. Only thing I got was TikToks our streaks.

Won’t lie, that hurt me hard.

He never asked where I was and I think he cared. Anyway, he started being distant because he found actual friends in his neighborhood. I was happy for him because I used to encourage him to, because that seemed important to him.

However, we kind of grew apart and he stopped putting in effort, I think. I remember trying to talk to him and he read it and didn’t respond. I confronted him and he told me that he was “busy.” I left it at that, and I didn’t bring it up again.

I remember reaching out to him again and he called me some other then girl’s name 💀. And that hurt REALLY bad. I stopped talked to him consistently and tried to break away but I would find myself waiting or hoping he’d actually text me, but he never did. He’d just send videos, even after he let our streak die after I got out the hospital.

So after crying (unfortunately) and overthinking and talking to my mother, I decided that I needed to block him if I was gonna get myself to calm down. I needed to cut contact. So I blocked him on everything, and after maybe 2 weeks, he reached out to me and asked if I deleted my socials.

I responded with a lie and gave stupid excuses; he never replied so after that I told him the truth. Very vague truth, I admit because I was afraid of being up front. I admitted to that in the message and called myself a coward💀 but then I blocked him from that social too.

And I’m trying to move on but I really miss him. I keep talking to my friends about it, hoping to get the guts to unblocked him and talk about it, but there’s too many things pointing me against that. He told me that I’d be gone if he ever got a girlfriend💀💀 and I thought he was joking.

I don’t know what to think. Maybe I was over reacting and doing too much. Maybe I hurt him for cutting him off after 2 years. Plus I cut him off only 2 days before his birthday 🙁. He didn’t even remember my birthday either last year and now that I’m taking off the rose colored glasses, he didn’t seem to put in much effort. Fuck, I don’t know.

Should I have blocked him or talked about it first?

I just recently turned 19 and have been out of school for a year now. I hate to say I miss it but I do. I miss having structure and routine, and feeling like I am still young. I think when I was in high school I was experiencing a lot of depression which made me kind of miss out on the traditional “teen” milestones, I feel like I have been asleep all that time and just now I’m experiencing the awkward teenage phase or something. I still look and act childish. I don’t see myself on the same level as other adults who are older than I am. Am I still even a teenager? I haven’t even been 19 a month and the idea of turning 20 is so horrifying to me on a visceral level, I felt the same way about turning 18 too. Does it get any easier? Is what I’m feeling normal?

ok so i have a crush on this guy in my class and we have the same interests and everything but it’s like me and him we do not talk at all. he talks to the guy that sits beside him sometimes but mainly he’s quiet most of the time and i am jst dead silent

. but like sometimes something would happen he would always like look at me and SMILE like we would make eye contact and i fold and look away quick, but we dont talk. sometimes i would get up during class to walk to get something and sometimes he would glance at me while im walking or when im going back to my seat.

i also feel like sometimes when he fixes his hair or when im not looking he will take a quick look at me. one time i caught him doing it. there’s been more interactions like once someone knocked on the door & he basically told me to sit down but after we were laughing and smiling abt it.

i recently requested to follow him on ig & maybe bit even like an hr later he accepted it and followed me back he watches my stories. nd i lowkey think he hates me but then idk.

hi i’m F/19 and my boyfriend is M/24 we have been together for 7months.
i’m extremely, painfully insecure about my flat chest. and when i say flat, i mean completely flat, like there’s nothing there at all.

this insecurity affects me a lot. i feel uncomfortable during sex and even just being naked around him. i don’t want him to look at my chest, and i don’t really like him touching it either. he tells me i’m beautiful. i’ve even cried to him about this, and he reassures me that everything is okay, that he doesn’t care, and that he would never leave me over something like that. but even with that, i can’t stop thinking about it.

i keep thinking that if i had actual boobs, like ones that stick out the way most women’s do, he would be more attracted to me. it genuinely hurts to think about. another thing that plays on my mind is that we both lost our virginity to each other. i feel bad, like his first time was with someone who doesn’t even have boobs. i worry that he waited his whole life and is secretly dissatisfied, even though he would never say that to me.

i don’t really know what i’m looking for by posting this. i’ve thought about surgery, but the idea of having something artificial in my body before becoming a mother doesn’t feel right to me. i don’t know if i’m overreacting, but sometimes it feels like i’m not woman enough or not worthy enough.

whenever i compare myself to other girls, the first thing i notice is their chest. i can’t stop comparing. it’s gotten to the point where i feel like this insecurity is stopping me from believing i could be loved long term by one person.

to me, it almost feels like a disability. i know that sounds extreme, but when it feels like every other woman has something you don’t, even if it’s small, it’s hard not to think that way.

how do i stop obsessing over this and actually believe my boyfriend when he says he’s attracted to me? and has anyone else felt like this and gotten past it?

TLDR: I used to physically destroy my childhood bedroom each time my dad beat my ass. Fast forward to now, I'm getting ready to move out and the room is fuckedddd up.

First thing to know is my parents don't come in my room. They've literally never came in here. Also know my Dad is the evil one. He and my Mom are still married and living together. She is a good mom and a reasonable person.

Hi I'm f18 and im planning to move out of my parents house this year. We live in Utah, middle class house but it's still like a nice suburban house. I have to say that because this wouldn't matter if we lived like in the slums, nobody would care.

So basically throughout my childhood in this bedroom, I've had like a temper I guess. Idk guys my dad used to like abuse me hella... and I have three siblings but two of them hate me and think I'm crazy because it was all before they were born... And now he's nice and they don't know why I hate him.

So anyway, after each time my dad would beat my ass, I would go in my room and punch a hole in the wall and like kick the shit out of my doors and stuff. Because idk, I just had tantrums after getting beat, i was soo pissed.

So basically

- the closet door is like actually cracked and busted and closet door FRAME wood completely split down the center

-the main door FRAME is cracked from the ceiling to the floor, and the main door has a big smash-in in the center

-The window is cracked from the outside

-about 8 fist size holes, and 6 foot size holes in the walls. It's a completely finished room with like drywall and stuff I guess.

- One of the holes is over an outlet so that outlet is smashed up too

-there's also spray paint on the carpet

Most of this was before I was 16 years old. I just want to know what I should do and if I can fix any of these specific things on my own? Or if I should just clean out and leave and let him discover it... I don't want to pay him for the damage, because every time I fucked up that room was every time he beat my ass...

is he going to sue me... like???

Obviously I should have never beat up the room this much. But also obviously I wasn't thinking of that while like literally screaming, having a tantrum on the floor, smashing my head into the ground, like guys I wanted to actually die lol. So this is not the conversation for "oh you should control yourself" this is not about that, this is the past. and now I'm just dealing with the aftermath.

So yeah. And if you're a parent, what would you do?

edit: I just re read this, It kind of sounds like pity farming lol.. I don't know if all the details were necessary but I'm not deleting them so whatever. I am honestly just scared for when he finds out.

I am 15 and i never had a relationship, no one has ever confessed to me and guys seem to have absolutely no interest in me. Am i actually this unlovable? I barely have any friends either, but i hate them so much.

I cry everyday and every night because i am a loser.

Girls much younger than me are losing their virginities and going to parties meanwhile i just sit in my room and play games without normally socialising. I got rejected all of the times i confessed to someone and i genuinely have no idea what am i doing wrong. I think its just because i am genuinely unattractive.

A little rant, sorry for the blunt title but it is what it is.

Since the age of about 15-16 I’ve been called a “slut”, “brothel-worker”, “prostitute” and a whole array of colourful language by my mother. I’ve genuinely never been called this type of language from any other person or stranger in my life. These are the most demeaning terms that I’ve heard and it’s done by my own mother. The way she describes me literally brings me to tears and I’ve just never heard such derogatory used in my life, like it feels dystopian?? Back then it was a lot worse and now these days I’ve been dressing for myself but even then she’d make sly remarks about how I look like a grandma or “too old” for my age. I haven’t even mentioned for most of my adolescence she would label me as “ugly” and literally say that compared to my little brothers and say that they were showered with all the good features and I was not. She plain and simple just remarks me as ugly and laughs in my face, and others faces if I was ever complimented. She’d call other women blind lesbians if they would say something nice to me and say that only old unattractive men give me attention?

My mum lives her life for other people and I mean this literally. Everything she does is to please strangers and she said that what others see is most important to her. Her justification for her critiques at me is that people will judge me just like she does but worse. Though, I’ve never heard such painful descriptions of myself other than whatever harsh words she sprouts. She’s made things up in public and tells me she “heard” people behind us saying rude things about me when I knew they weren’t and whenever people laugh she says it’s about me. After talking to her she gets aggressive and uses more crude language which puts the nail in the coffin and every time I feel like bursting into tears. She says that the reason she says all those things and says that other people say those things is so I’ll be better and stop being literally myself. She says I’m an embarrassment and this is prior to expressing myself as goth which I usually don’t even go out with because it takes so much time. She pulls me down and is the reason I’ve hated myself so badly and have been having such bad self esteem and social anxiety. Which she has pointed out and made fun of, especially my inability to talk to people and make friends. Now that she’s been on this tangent for majority of my childhood and teenage years, my own little brothers and calling me a hoe and commenting on how ugly I am. I can’t help but cry constantly, I swear it’s just too much sometimes and I just hurt and hurt myself.

I’m stuck in a loop and it’s constant negativity from her end and I’ve been having such a hard time with my physical appearance and it’s eating at me. Talking to her isn’t working and other than that she’s a good person but when it comes to me there’s a lot of grey area which leads to verbal abuse.

My mom won’t give me access to my bank account. I recently got a part-time job where I get paid $10/per hour. That equates to $200-$350 dollars every two weeks. From my first paycheck, I got paid $342.42 cents; She spent almost all of it. $165 dollars went to the phone bill, that leaves $177. I do not know what happened to the rest of it, and $55 dollars was all I had left over. I told her that I’d pitch in with the grocery bill, and that I wanted to go to Sprouts. I partitioned another $35 dollars from my second paycheck so we can get a few things with the 50 and 35 dollars combined; She won’t go to Sprouts. I was originally trying to use my first paycheck to buy some headphones, but she used it, and her excuse was that she and my dad were short on money, so she used mine. Yesterday, she told me that I had two weeks to find a place to leave for $200; Utterly impossible. She says that because I’m “disrespectful” to my parents. Not to be rude, but she’s incredibly simpleminded and tries to intentionally misunderstand what I say. She has threatened to kick me out since I was nine years old. Anyway, I don’t have access to my bank account because she has all her accounts and mine connected, so the password to mine is also hers. How do I change that or do I need a new account?

I went to a small private school for 9 years and they were not helpful with math. During 8th grade on the last 2 weeks of school we JUST started learning negatives and positives. My mom noticed how far behind I was so now that I'm in highschool she decided that I should the math part at home. I'm using khan academy and its okay until recently. I've started algebra and I couldn't understand anything. I got upset to the point where I started crying because I feel so useless and dumb. I tried asking my mom for help but then she started yelling at me because I was crying and saying "I don't know stop crying over math!" which just made things worse. We've tried a tutor but it didn't help me either. Even me looking up the answers don't work! I don't know what to do I feel so stupid and just wanna curl up into a ball and cry. I also don't wanna end up having to do summer school or get held back because I failed math.

I am 18f, im not overweight, and bisexual (u think this will double my chances)

I am also a third year going to my fourth year in college so theoretical I should be able to get into a relationship easily but no.

There could be several factors as to why this is i am ugly, I am black (no true black people around at my college), I am autistic.

Most of people i hang out with are men (not intentionally) and I have asked out people in the past men/women.

I am trying to fix the ugly part by losing weight even though im at healthy weight. I am therapy and trying to get help for the autism to help me cope better. And there is nothing I can do about the black part.

I consider myself to be a kind person who cares a lot about people. I always make it a habit of saying ’Good Morning’ or ‘Good Afternoon’ as well as complimenting students I know and don’t know in my school. I just want to be kind and make someone’s day because you really don’t know what another person is going through. It makes my day to make someone smile.

Well basically my Pastoral Manager spoke with me privately and said that one girl and her friend reported me and asked if I could recall the ‘incident’. I always am friendly to lots of people so I said I can’t know for sure who or when this was as I do this on a daily basis.

He then explained that the students who reported me said that I complimented them which made them feel “uncomfortable“. I honestly never meant for anyone to be uncomfortable or upset in any way whatsoever. I just want to spread love and kindness to people. That’s just how I am as a person.

My Pastoral Manager explained I’m not in trouble but that I should be mindful as in this day and age you have to be careful with what you say. I feel awful and upset that I can’t even do any good without getting accused and blamed.

Edit: Sorry I'm from the UK so I should clarify what a Pastoral Manager is as there seems to be confusion. A Pastoral Manager in the UK is basically a school staff member responsible for overseeing the emotional, social, and behavioural welfare of students.

rumours spread fast this week and she’s now ranting in the gc saying she never said it and said a guy’s nickname that our teacher calls him but that it was misheard (“Nickeroo” for Nick). Under this instance I believe she’s telling the truth, but in general I dont. She’s been calling this guy Nicky with G’s instead of the “ck” and often has done a lot to borderline say it. I’m fairly certain I overheard her say the full thing once a couple years ago. I’ve always had issues with her doing this stuff but honestly never really did anything about it beyond telling her not do to that a couple times. That’s my bad.

Her, our other friend (let’s call her “Anna”) and I have plans to get ready for prom + sleep over after next week. But ANOTHER close friend (“Olivia”) took me aside today to tell me the rumours and that she just wanted to let me know so i don’t mistakenly hang out with that girl and associate myself with someone who says the N word.

This puts me in a pickle. This situation made me realize how dumb I’ve been for not taking more serious action, and that i’m part of the problem for “letting“ her continue. I really want to confront and distance myself from the girl until she realizes that none of this is funny and she’s being blatantly rude, disrespectful, and even worse for denying it all, but I know Anna would never do anything that doesn’t prioritize group peace and comfort, even though she equally agrees with me.

Also prom; the plans were made at the OG girl’s house and we are unable to do it anywhere else. I also feel like considering i’ve told this girl a couple times to stop saying it and she’s continued, it’s really beyond me at this point and if I confront her I ruin our friendship of like a dozen years.

Do I want to be friends with a racist person? Absolutely not.

Do I wish she could stop being so fucking dumb? Absolutely.

Do I think she will stop? Probably not soon. Especially with the borderline jokes and nicknames

Will I be outcast from this friendgroup for taking things “too seriously”, especially if she’s been denying these allegations and ofc no one wants to go against their friends?? Yes. Highly likely.

Are they good friends? Absolutely. In general: Amazing, supportive, kind, inclusive people, I really honestly do not want to give up. But this bad habit has got to stop.

I hope this made sense i really don’t know what to do :(

Today I went on my side account on TikTok, where I post my face because only my friends and family have that account.

I had a DM so I clicked on it and saw a bunch of sexual messages from this guy in my ELA class. He made the mistake of telling me his name and showing his face prior to this.

He was saying that I could be his good little secret and that I should send him pictures of my “cherries” I don’t know what to do.

He said that I could probably lick it real well and that he would do anything for me.

I’m thinking of messaging the vice principal and reporting it because I can’t stand being in the same room as somebody who has been disgusting towards me

UPDATE: He got mad when i played dumb and made an ableist remark towards me and than proceeded to make block me. he’s only fueling the fire by doubling down and I will be reporting once I get home.

UPDATE: I did end up reporting him to TikTok and the school. TikTok got him banned from messaging I believe permanently and I have not gotten anything from the considering it’s the weekend but hopefully I will soon!!

And just to clarify: no he did not send me any explicit picture from what I know of there is no other victims and this isn’t even how he typically acts so I was taking a back when this whole thing started. I am educated on sexual harassment, and this is not my first time being sexually harassed. (I just didn’t know what to do for this case specifically because all the other times I have been sexually harassed they have been by adults and physically not online.) and no, the police isn’t gonna do shit. Trust me. And I’m also an immigrant and my area is not going easy on us so my parents have been trying their best to stay away from police for the sake of our own safety. I will update if I do get anything from the school.

I (15M) tried to keep this short but ended up basically explaining ~80% of everything I've experienced and thought of her.

So there's this one girl let's call her Emma that's a year older than me that I'm kind of interested in. I wouldn't say I like her just yet since we've only spent like 2 hours around each other in group settings but I really do like her looks and her personality so far and I feel like she's truly my type. She just always appears to be so happy and positive and I FUCKING LOVE girls like that. I'm a bit afraid that I like her a bit too much for what we have at the moment but I don't really know.

When I first met her was when I invaded one of my friends PE classes to just play some volleyball while I had a free period because I had nothing really better to do. For some reason the girls in that class decided that they should play a game similar to dodgeball and I discovered that my 6th grade prime wasn't over. This is where Emma comes in. She wanted to get me banned cause I was playing too good or something like that and was overall paying some good attention to me throughout the game but it could've been due to me just popping up in their PE class out of nowhere.

Next day was a Saturday and me and my friends decided to play some beach volleyball and one friend decided to invite Emma and when I arrived she instantly recognized me and sounded pretty happy or even excited that it was me. I didn't really get to spend that much time with her since she had to leave after like 40 minutes but I still enjoyed being around her for the time.

After that I genuinely started feeling some interest in her, more than most girls I've ever been interested in and since I've made it past the strangers stage I feel like I should try shooting my shot.

We said hi to each other once on Monday (which was yesterday at the time of posting this) while we crossed paths in the hallway and she said it in a pretty happy voice and body language and as I mentioned I fucking love overly positive girls.

Now it's Tuesday and I didn't get to interact with her today. I learned the location of her locker and almost had 2 chances to interact with her but she was too far away to go talk to her without it looking unnatural or awkward. I hope I don't start overthinking her too much because that has caused problems with girls for me in the past.

So now I'm thinking since school is going to end soon I at least want to get her snap or number and just genuinely get to know her better to find out if I truly like her and just maybe if she possibly likes me. But I'm kind of introverted and completely sure how I approach this. Do I just be ready for opportunities to talk to come to me or do I go out of my way to create more opportunities but have a risk of making the conversations more awkward or unnatural?

I have relationship experience and from that I learned that the hardest part for me as an introvert is the early/entry stage where you become familiar with each other. If I make it through that I feel like I have a pretty good shot with her.

I'm not too happy about how I've not taken action previously with girls I've had interest in and I want to make a promise to my self that I will actually try to talk to her and get to know her and not bail out in the fear of rejection. I don't even care about the result that much as long as I actually try.

So any advice on how to talk to her without it seeming unnatural or awkward? All advice is appreciated!

TLDR: There's this girl I like and so far she thinks positively of me. We've only spent like 2 hours together but I already like her looks and personality. I want to get to know her and get her number/snap before school ends but I don't know how to approach her.

I (16M) and this girl (16F) have known each other for a year or so. Recently, she moved schools so i don't see her as often as before. However, after she moved schools, we got a lot closer and started talking a lot more. We also went out to get dinner and try new foods together. This went on for about a month or two. It was obvious that she was really into me as she started hugging me and started being physically closer to me but i shrugged that off since i thought that was what close friend normally do. As time went on, she started becoming more and more affectionate towards me. Then out of nowhere, she held my hand while we were walking which really caught me off guard since i was absolutely not expecting that. I tried to play it cool but it was honestly quite awkward.

Once i arrived home, i told my friend what had happened and this was the point where i REALLY realised that she liked me. I did not want a relationship at all especially at quite a young age but me giving her attention might've implied that i wanted a relationship with her. I messaged her about it and she understood, but was clearly upset. I feel like i unknowingly lead her on to believe that i was genuinely interested in her but at the same time a part of me knew what i was doing.
I feel regretful and guilty for making her upset and i wish we had communicated better but I'm glad the situation didn't go any further.

She doesn't hate me but we aren't very close friends anymore, I'm just hesitant on whether or not to try and salvage the friendship or let it go.

So, I have those friends that are a bit rebellious. They wanted to skip class to go to the beach without their parents knowing, sometimes they just skip a bit of class to dance TikTok. I usually refuse but sometimes I feel like im not enjoying life enough, they all have bfs while I'm still single (some boys confessed to me, but since I didn't really know them/ feel anything I ended up rejecting them, but sometimes I wonder if I should have given them a chance or just get to know them).

And it's not just them, everyone around me has a bf/gf and that is so buns because I feel like my feelings are valid because I had "oportunities".

I like my friend group, and I care about them a lot. I’m more introverted, and I don’t go out a ton which I’m trying to change so I don’t become an irrelevant friend, but I’m an only child and I’m slightly more mature than my friends I’d say because I’ve always modelled my behaviour off the adults in my life rather than the kids in my life.

The idea of getting a tattoo for the teenage experience makes me feel icky, and childish. And I’ve said to my friends I love you guys but hell no, I’m not doing that personally. But I’m so stressed about becoming a friend who’s never there for group things and eventually lifting out. What do I do?