u/National-Climate4270

So, I have those friends that are a bit rebellious. They wanted to skip class to go to the beach without their parents knowing, sometimes they just skip a bit of class to dance TikTok. I usually refuse but sometimes I feel like im not enjoying life enough, they all have bfs while I'm still single (some boys confessed to me, but since I didn't really know them/ feel anything I ended up rejecting them, but sometimes I wonder if I should have given them a chance or just get to know them).

And it's not just them, everyone around me has a bf/gf and that is so buns because I feel like my feelings are valid because I had "oportunities".

Eu recentemente vi um vídeo no ttk falando de como uma pessoa encontrou uma amizade online incrível, mas ai depois eu encontro vídeos de pessoas falando de como foram aliciadas.

Então me pergunto, qual a opinião de vocês? Eu pessoalmente não sou muito fã.

Id like to start of by saying english is not my first language so I apologize!

So, for context: I had this friend group (I won't name all of them, only this friend wich I'll call Mia) and I also had a REALLY bad mental breakdown in 8th grade, like id isolate myself from people and friends, family, and classmates even admitted they were scared of me at the time. And well I slowly realized my "friend group" didn't really care about me and was actually leaving me out, wich left me heartbroken because even tho I clearly had poor mental health, I know they aren't responsible for me or have the obligation to take care of me, but they never even asked me if I was ok.

So in 9th grade when I was able to snap out of it, changed classes and cut ties with all of them. Mia didn't notice and tried being nice but I'd always try to avoid her and the others.

What haunts me about this is that while they left me out, I know I should have tried to talk with them about it. In my defense I tried once, even called one of them to meet me in private. But everytime I tried to talk about it I just cried, I was scared they wouldn't take me seriously, so I gave up.

In 9th grade Mia gave me her number again and I simply blocked her because I was moving schools and wanted to leave her and the others behind. Not to mention she didn't even try to talk she just sent one gif and vanished once again.

But now a classmate invited me to her birthday party, and, well she will be there. She tried messaging me through the group and im so scared, I don't know what to say, im scared she might make a fuss because I blocked her. if im already panicking when we haven't met imagine when we ACTUALLY meet in the party.

Before any creeps think about it, my DMS are closed and I have no interest in talking to anyone privately.

So, I (15) always thought it was normal, until I was talking with friends and the topic started getting spicy...like "have you ever wanted to do sex? Or have you ever allowed a boy to touch it down there? They all said yes to those questions, until the topic became well, Mastubartion. I said I did it and they all were shocked, and started asking really uncomfortable questions. Like when, how, etc...And I found It weird because they said they already allowed boys touch them or do it to them but never did it themselves. I already got scared because those friends are reallt judgy of people, now im questioning myself and fearing they will trash talk me if I leave them alone.

So, Since the last 5-3 days I feel really horny, like an irresistible need to masturbate. I found this weird since even tho I alaways did it, I had a limit like once in a month and I never really felt the need to do it unless under stress or just can't sleep at all Since I found sex/ Mastubartion gross until I was 14 and only started getting used to it now.

I thought it was hormones from my period, but the last time it went down it was 1/2 weeks ago. Im genuinely scared to give into this need because I don't want it to turn it an addiction.

The only logical explanation is puberty since I think my boobs are a bit larger, but im still scared, is it normal? Any advice to deal with It?