hi i’m F/19 and my boyfriend is M/24 we have been together for 7months.
i’m extremely, painfully insecure about my flat chest. and when i say flat, i mean completely flat, like there’s nothing there at all.
this insecurity affects me a lot. i feel uncomfortable during sex and even just being naked around him. i don’t want him to look at my chest, and i don’t really like him touching it either. he tells me i’m beautiful. i’ve even cried to him about this, and he reassures me that everything is okay, that he doesn’t care, and that he would never leave me over something like that. but even with that, i can’t stop thinking about it.
i keep thinking that if i had actual boobs, like ones that stick out the way most women’s do, he would be more attracted to me. it genuinely hurts to think about. another thing that plays on my mind is that we both lost our virginity to each other. i feel bad, like his first time was with someone who doesn’t even have boobs. i worry that he waited his whole life and is secretly dissatisfied, even though he would never say that to me.
i don’t really know what i’m looking for by posting this. i’ve thought about surgery, but the idea of having something artificial in my body before becoming a mother doesn’t feel right to me. i don’t know if i’m overreacting, but sometimes it feels like i’m not woman enough or not worthy enough.
whenever i compare myself to other girls, the first thing i notice is their chest. i can’t stop comparing. it’s gotten to the point where i feel like this insecurity is stopping me from believing i could be loved long term by one person.
to me, it almost feels like a disability. i know that sounds extreme, but when it feels like every other woman has something you don’t, even if it’s small, it’s hard not to think that way.
how do i stop obsessing over this and actually believe my boyfriend when he says he’s attracted to me? and has anyone else felt like this and gotten past it?