I'm 18 and moving out, but my childhood bedroom is very damaged and my parents don't know.
TLDR: I used to physically destroy my childhood bedroom each time my dad beat my ass. Fast forward to now, I'm getting ready to move out and the room is fuckedddd up.
First thing to know is my parents don't come in my room. They've literally never came in here. Also know my Dad is the evil one. He and my Mom are still married and living together. She is a good mom and a reasonable person.
Hi I'm f18 and im planning to move out of my parents house this year. We live in Utah, middle class house but it's still like a nice suburban house. I have to say that because this wouldn't matter if we lived like in the slums, nobody would care.
So basically throughout my childhood in this bedroom, I've had like a temper I guess. Idk guys my dad used to like abuse me hella... and I have three siblings but two of them hate me and think I'm crazy because it was all before they were born... And now he's nice and they don't know why I hate him.
So anyway, after each time my dad would beat my ass, I would go in my room and punch a hole in the wall and like kick the shit out of my doors and stuff. Because idk, I just had tantrums after getting beat, i was soo pissed.
So basically
- the closet door is like actually cracked and busted and closet door FRAME wood completely split down the center
-the main door FRAME is cracked from the ceiling to the floor, and the main door has a big smash-in in the center
-The window is cracked from the outside
-about 8 fist size holes, and 6 foot size holes in the walls. It's a completely finished room with like drywall and stuff I guess.
- One of the holes is over an outlet so that outlet is smashed up too
-there's also spray paint on the carpet
Most of this was before I was 16 years old. I just want to know what I should do and if I can fix any of these specific things on my own? Or if I should just clean out and leave and let him discover it... I don't want to pay him for the damage, because every time I fucked up that room was every time he beat my ass...
is he going to sue me... like???
Obviously I should have never beat up the room this much. But also obviously I wasn't thinking of that while like literally screaming, having a tantrum on the floor, smashing my head into the ground, like guys I wanted to actually die lol. So this is not the conversation for "oh you should control yourself" this is not about that, this is the past. and now I'm just dealing with the aftermath.
So yeah. And if you're a parent, what would you do?
edit: I just re read this, It kind of sounds like pity farming lol.. I don't know if all the details were necessary but I'm not deleting them so whatever. I am honestly just scared for when he finds out.