r/AdhdRelationships

dx, 16 and have adhd and im a male.

ive been working my ass off, searching for tips and information on reddit about tips to start studying with adhd because i procastine too much and do everything at 2 am. its really taken a toll on my health.

Why is this subreddit filled with people leaving their husbands with adhd? and everyone is supporting it.

it kinda scares me

is adhd a red flag or something?

if you have tips for me in future dating. because im gonna ask a girl out next year after colleges come out and shit, im trying to become a psychiatrist one day.

if this girl ends up going to a college in my state, il ask her out and hopefully shel become my girl friend one day.

I would love to hear what these men that you guys are leaving did. and im gonna do my best to become like them.

I didnt really see anything about adhd in women partners so far.

im gonna try to study :/

my adhd is quite severe in the case of doing shit i dont want to do. im disgusting.

i hoard laundry on the floor of my room, snacks, bottles, plates and wrappers on my desk. finished lunch boxes my mom made, left in the bag for days sometimes leading to mold. im so fucked up.

the worst one of all. my academics. my grades took a huge hit, and now i have to somehow dial my ass up and work hard to get into the main campus of my state school. this school should have been a safety, now i have to work 100x for a chance to get in. (my sat is what determined if i get in or not, + my ecs)

the past 2 weeks i stayed up until 2 am on school days because i started my work at 12 am. I dont even know how im getting worse.

Ive been really depresssed this year on and off, and yesterday I found out that I have adhd, looking thru the symptoms, the experiences, i literally know i have it.

i have like no close friends. i cant get shit done. my attention is horrible. so many relatable experiences that i have with others with adhd.

i wish i knew about this sooner. i just wasted the ENTIRE FUCKING day. i got home at 4:30 i told my self that im going to be busy for the ap psychology test tomorrow. ITS BEEN 4 HOURS, I havent started. i dont know what to do. i have so much other work too.

i genuinely just started crying an hour ago. ive been living like this for 3 years, my freshmen year especially. im a junior now and the year is almost over. its been 3 fucking years goddamit. i havent learnt how to sit my ass down and study, i do everything last minute.

and the low self esteem issues and shit and everything makes my social life hell. theres a girl that LIKES ME. Im extremely limerent over her and my ADHD takes over now thinking about fantasies about her, i have extremely dtrong visualization skills and a internal monologue, i can keep myself entertained for hours without a device.

And its not even about putting my phone in another room or anything. My own fucking thoughts of this girl and our fake reality future take over and it feels so good but now im out of the zone to study.

Im not aware about the social aspect but i have no close friends. and the close friends i have: i lost all of them. this makes me worried about any future relationship i could have.

i cant pay attention in class for fucks sake. its just day dream after day dream after day dream. especially in classes that i have no interest in. my body auto pilots and does all the normal things it shiuld do. eye contact with the teacher looks at where it should look at when the teacher might be pointing somewhere or something. but in my head im not picking up a single fucking thing.

Ive noticed more things and things and im becoming self aware about the actual fucking reality of this disease. I always saw it as ooo wee cant focus, great excuse disease!

this shit is horrible. i just want to study dude. im avoiding my responsibilities right now. why am i like this. i just want to study for once and sleep for more thann 5 hours.

im so depressed and anxious about my future. i have no one to talk to. and this self realization makes me feel like a fucking disabled person. i want to be a psychiatrist and help others, and for a while since i dealt with my mental health problems I thought that this was a genuine way of having purpose in my life.

and this purpose tore me apart. i procastinated and my grades tore down my self esteem and made me more anxious. a psychiatrist? med school? premed? grades?

i know im smart. i am smart. infact im willing to bet im really really smart like above average. i cant fucking figure out grades. if i just had the fucking work ethic i could have been a power house academic weapon or some shit.

i just want to be normal. why am i fucking disabled.

what do i even do, 8:36 pm. i still havent started studying. how do i do the things i dont want to with this disease

28 F Broke up with my boyfriend (dx, unmedicated) 29 M boyfriend today and blocked him. We were together for a little under a year and I won’t lie the past few months have been absolute hell for me. I love him with my whole heart but I feel like I’ve had to kill off a part of myself to be with him. Every single thing in our relationship somehow always ended up being my fault. I couldn’t express my feelings to him without him centering himself, taking it extremely personal, bringing up how I did the same or how I did something to him before, or having a really large emotional reaction. Every single time I tried to bring up my feelings that was the outcome. Things would escalate so quickly, I genuinely couldn’t ever keep up. One second I’m telling him how something he did hurt me, the next he’s hyperventilating and having a panic attack, and then we’re broken up. He would say some of the meanest things to me in this space. It seemed like the truth shifted with his mood. On the good days I was the best girlfriend, the most caring, the love of his life… on the bad days, I was never good to him, I never cared or did any for him, all I did was criticize him, and he hated me. The facts would also change OFTEN. One day he would take accountability, the next he would say he didn’t do it or I was wrong to feel that way. I genuinely felt like I couldn’t ever get my feet fully planted on the ground. And the expectation was that once he switched back to good, I needed to immediately as well. The emotional whiplash was constant. His ADHD wasn’t the cause of all of our problems, but it was definitely what escalated them and kept us from repair. One of our last fights happened because I was talking to him about harm that I’ve dealt with at the hands of other men (physical, sexual, emotional abuse) and how it caused me anxiety interacting with men moving forward. He somehow managed to center himself and take it personally … he said how was he supposed to sit there and listen to me talk about how “men are bad” and not feel bad about himself or feel like i’m talking about him. I felt so invalidated in my experiences. Every single bad thing in the relationship somehow ended up being my fault. He had these HUGE emotional reactions not because of his lack of emotional regulation, but because of my “tone” and phrasing. It didn’t matter how I said things. What phrases I used. If he felt like it was an attack he would shut down. He would blame me for his reactions. He said I stressed him out and caused his anxiety. That really hurt me. Watching him have these large reactions because I turned my back to him in bed or I said something with a tone and then him acting like it’s normal and I’m the evil woman who is pushing him to this. I tried to leave several times. Usually after bringing up my issues several times and being invalidated, I’d just lose my mind and try to remove myself. Then he would beg, cry, get emotional and pull me back in. Then blame me for wanting to leave and giving him anxiety.

He’s been diagnosed since he was a teen, but he seems to have no knowledge of how it affects the people around him. He has been seeing a therapist for like a decade for PTSD and other things. Idk if they talk about his ADHD, It seems I introduced him to RSD. I can no longer deal with someone who hears what he wants to hear and responds based off of that. I need to be rooted in reality. I’m heartbroken. I thought this was going to be my husband, but being with him has absolutely destroyed my sense of self. I need to love myself more than I do him.

My hope is that he takes the time to learn and heal, maybe we’ll get back together in the future. But I know he will just seek out other women or things to help him bypass the discomfort. Reading this forum has also shown me that it very rarely ever gets better.

Please share some words of encouragement if you have them. Tell me your personal stories dealing with someone with RSD.

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To explain, I (26M) have been texting a woman (31F) with ADHD for the past 2 month and a half and we have our first meetup soon on the 23rd. When we first started texting, it was a tad rough for me cause, I couldnt understand her texting behavior, as at first, she'd only reply to my messages at inconsistent timings, sometimes hours after I messaged her. I first thought, it was due to a lack of interest which was odd cuz I recently asked her if she'd like to meetup at an animecon in a month, to which she said yeah but after asking her she revealed that its cuz her ADHD tends to mess with her timing of replying to messages.

After she told me and I stated I understood (and looked a bit more into it so as I could accommodate her as best as I could) , it felt like she was happy with it and opened up much more. She'd initiate texts with me every other day, share what she's doing even down to mundane stuff, stuff she likes sexually, explain the intricacies of her hobbies, posting like when she's 3d printing stuff or even the code she'd write. Even in the middle of the night, she'd hit me up just to chat. Granted her reply time was still inconsistent, but I didn't really mind cuz it was an ok pattern, and I did understand that a combination of her being busy irl and her adhd made it difficult and I was ok with waiting as she showed she was interested in me. I even asked if she'd like to get some coffee together at the con with me paying, to which she replied with the (\*\*👀\*\*) emoji, seemingly interested. So yeah it was pretty great at the time.

A few weeks after that period, she suddenly stopped initiating convos. At first I didn't mind, but then 3 days went on, and she seemed very quiet even on her social media. I decided to withdraw a bit, thinking maybe somn happened behind the scenes. She did get back to me a couple of days later, and it felt like nothing much changed. She told me about a place she'd like me to visit and check out, which I did, and she seemed very happy and even more engaged than before the break! Talked alot more than usual during that week, even sent me sexual flirty meme (which TBF I acknowledged as flirty a tad too late).

After that meme, 9 days now...she hasn't initiated text again. I thought maybe its like last time, but she's posted on social media twice now. I do still text with her and when I do, it doesn't feel like she's not putting in effort in the conversation. She still sends me photos of what she's working on and tells me what shes up to, asks about my day and comments on what I do. Our last convo 3 days ago was after I saw her post an image of herself on twitter, I DMed her that I found it super sexy. She disclaimed that it was a year ago when she had less weight, to which I said, I still find her hot, to which she reacted with a white heart, told me she was sleepy cuz she pulled an all-nighter, but still she proceeded to ask about my day and talked a bit before she slept off. So far, she hasn't sent a text to me afterwards 3 days later.

Is this an ADHD issue or just regular lose of interest? Should I bring this up to her? Dont get me wrong, if its an ADHD thing, Im legit willing to accommodate and work it out with her. Just wanna know if its that or just loss of interest and I should stop bugging her.

Hello everyone, I've met a woman (30M, 32F) online at the start of this year and we've been growing close. There is a mutual interest and for now we are still talking and getting to know each other so not to rush things. We have yet to meet in real life but we have discussed this.

She has ADHD (not on medication) and my experience and knowledge on ADHD is non-existent. I have been looking around and trying to find good places to learn more about ADHD because it's a part of her that I want to understand deeply.

We speak daily and throughout our conversations and activities online I do learn more about what she shines in and what she struggles with. We have open communication and I've asked her questions myself but I do want to know what are things, ways, ... that help?

I want to be able to support her in the best way I can and prepare myself in some way. I've read a few things and I see that it impacts both partners which I also would like to have some more insight in.

From the time that I have known her I've only grown to appreciate the way how she is more. I have noticed getting interrupted, deviating from plans, rejection hitting hard and more. While she may interrupt me I don't have any issue with it and I'll keep telling her that (this has been a topic that has been a few times). Her telling me she wants to do something and then getting sidetracked so I will bring her to the thing she wanted to do. Her reaction that I remembered she wanted to do this (We would be a few hours later) is something I really love.

So to put this in short: What are good resources for me to learn more about ADHD be it about ADHD in woman, in relationships or anything else that can help me learn.

And what are things that your partner does for you that help you or what do you do for your partner to help them out?

I've been with my partner for only 3 months and the last weeks he's been really distant, so I told him that I feel like our connection feels really distant rn and if we can reconnect and spend some time together. But eveytime I bring up that I miss him or I wanna see him, he dissappear for days and won't answer. The first time I was in a bad spiral bcs of that (note: I have bpd) i didn't where and why he was gone. And only as I told him that I give him a day to reply, he answered.

He finally replied and just said that he was really busy and doesn't have the energy to always answer ppl. Which is fine, and I told him so that I know that sometime things get rough and he doesn't have to worry if he tells me in advance that he's not doing well and need space.

Then ignored that message and kept texting like nothing happend, no real explanation or apology. I mean I can tell he's making efforts to keep in touch, even if it's difficult for him. But he keeps avoiding big and difficult talks. Which for me communication is key in a relationship ship.

So I texted him a few days ago if we can meet up in the weekend bcs we havnt seen eachother for almost a months (also no phone calls) but as you can guess he's ghosting me now. So I don't know what to do. This time I will give him his space but idk when or if he will come back.

Does it ever work out? My relationship is now probably the most stressful part of my life. We are both neurodivergent with me 29F dx ADHD (possibly autistic too but ndx) and him 33M dx AuDHD and it feels like our relationship has been such a push/pull dynamic with a lot of volatility from both of us but primarily him.

I used to think I was a very calm person, I have great friendships that I can maintain and very little friction within them. But I just feel like as time went on, he triggers me so much and I’ve been experiencing increased RSD, defensiveness and stubbornness which I’m trying to work on by attempting to regulate in the moment.

Ultimately it feels like there’s just been so much conflict, and we are both so worn down. The love is and always will be there, but emotionally we’re spent and he is on the brink of break up. I want what’s best for both of us, but also can’t bear the thought of losing my best friend and someone I truly connect with. I guess I want to ask, has anyone been in a neurodivergent relationship and actually managed to figure it out?

We can have weeks of peace, then one explosive disagreement which brings him to talks of break up again. And on, and on. I just really need help understanding if there is hope and whether it’s worth continuing to do the work which I’ve been doing. Can we ever get to a place of (mostly) peace?

I’m 35. Been married about 14 years. 3 kids ages 2, 5, 7.

I have a job that has me gone almost half the month every month. Wife is a saint and holds down the house and all the kids activities and works from home. I couldn’t ask for a better mom for my kids.

Due to my employment, I can’t get an official diagnosis or meds.

I had a high stress high adrenaline job up until around a year and a half ago. Since then I have a pretty monotonous job. I pretty much only feel like I’m actually enjoying myself doing things like riding motorcycles, extreme sports, or writing music. When I try to get a day or two to do these things out of the half a month I’m home, my wife resents it. She has no hobbies or friends where we live. I’ve tried to help her make friends and get hobbies, highly encouraging it, but she has no interest.

Getting home is absolute overwhelming chaos every single time. I pretty much dread it. Kids are just being normal kids, and wife is always burned out. I feel like she’d be way better off not having to rely on me from a relationship standpoint.

I don’t know if this is venting or asking advice, but I feel like I’m just waiting for her to get sick of me and leave. Or kick me out. I know I sound selfish as can be in this post. I’m trying to enjoy “just relaxing at home”, but relaxing at home is the most boring shit I’ve ever done.

ETA: I feel like I’m not made for normal life. I’ve been trying to adapt for the last year and a half. I have this urge (that I’m not going to succumb to because it would be as fucked as a human could be to others) to just disappear.

8 weeks postpartum with baby #2… I’ve been on a leave (unpaid) from my part-time corporate job (WFH 24-30 hrs a week: Tuesday/wednesday/thursday). My husband and I both are taking 12 weeks off.. so I have about 4 more weeks until I’ll be on my own with the two on Mondays and Fridays. My eldest is 2.5 y/o and like most two year olds, does not stop moving (won’t even sit to watch tv) and requiring nonstop effort/energy/cleanup.

Things should be pretty easy now considering we’re both not working. Plus, the toddler is in a Half day school daycare (it ends next week tho). However, I’m already beginning to get burnt out. My husband and I both have adhd too and executive function is not our strong suit. Our new baby is a Velcro baby that insists on being held all the time.. and I try to wear her and do things.. but she gets in the way or wants to peak her head out and I have to use my other hand to support her neck. Oh, and my back hurts after 10 min!

I have been struggling to stay on top of the dishes, laundry, and keep a tidy house. It feels like I have zero time for myself and I prioritize cleaning bottles over showering (obviously). When do I cave and outsource help? Do I hire a sitter or a cleaner? Or neither? Or what do I do? Are my systems just bad???

I feel guilty about the money aspect since I’m not working right now.. but I suppose it could be worth it for my mental health?? Idk?

My husband (ADHD diagnosed, possible RSD/emotional dysregulation) and I are currently separated after a decade together and I genuinely don’t know if what we’re dealing with is ADHD shutdown, attachment trauma, emotional abuse patterns, or simply years of unresolved hurt.

For a long time I was actually the one asking for divorce because I felt emotionally unsafe, disconnected and overwhelmed in the marriage. But recently I had a genuine change of heart and wanted to try to repair things and approach things differently.

The problem is that whenever conflict happens, my husband tends to become very black-and-white in his thinking. He often says everything is my fault, that I have no emotional intelligence/empathy, and struggles to take accountability for his own behaviour because he feels his ADHD made him unable to control it. At times he says he wants the marriage to work and wants counselling, and other times he completely shuts down, blocks me, accuses me of manipulating the kids, or says he needs to protect himself from me.

There’s also a very strong push-pull dynamic. One moment he says he never wants this marriage again, the next he’s complimenting me, asking to talk, wanting family dinners, coffee etc. It’s emotionally exhausting and confusing.

A family member recently spoke to him and he apparently said he IS willing to reflect/change if someone can clearly explain where he went wrong and give him an “action plan,” and he’s still open to couples counselling. However, he says he can’t afford counselling and seems to expect me to pay for it, despite also believing I’m the cause of most of the problems.

For those with ADHD or partners with ADHD:

- Does this sound familiar to you?

- Can ADHD/RSD genuinely make someone struggle THIS much with accountability and emotional regulation?

- Has anyone successfully rebuilt a marriage where one partner initially blamed the other for almost everything?

- Does this sound more like disorganised attachment than ADHD itself?

I’m trying really hard to stay compassionate while also protecting my own mental health and the kids emotionally. I honestly don’t know whether to hold onto hope or accept that love alone isn’t enough.

im 16, i have no memories of my childhood but rhe past 3 years ive been struggling. school, friendships, mental health, depression

i know i have adhd. my mind is my own enemy and im depressed as fuck right now. the realization that my high school years got wasted and shitted because i have adhd.

i really fucking wish this was a discipline problem. im not stupid, im smart and i know im smart now. my work ethic isnt there and its getting fucked by adhd.

ive slept at 2 am for the past 3 week’s consecutively. I hyper fixate on whatever that I genuinely have a passion for. but im depressed, im losing passions, motivation, im losing my life. ive never been this low and my parents have noticed.

they dont believe in mental illness and theyre uneducated completely about this shit. its disgusting to know how they treated a family friend with depression/or something they had. point is they dont know anything about this, they are good people tho. i think im making my mom cry by being depressed and away from my family at home and just my grades im not making her proud.

im just gonna go to my mom tomorrow and ask “can i see a psychiatrist, i think i have a mental illness”.

this is kind of comedic but they think i have a vitamin deficiency. and my mom bought me teen vitamin gummies and I take 2 a day and they taste good, ik they wont help a bit but they taste good. she asks me daily, “ur feeling better after feeling them right?”. they dont even suspect its mental illness. i mean they are asian, mental illness doesnt exist in asia

my dad hasnt been talking to me. im depressed and i have no motivation to do shit. i wake up late and he drops me off daily and he goes to work late. hes tired of this too, but he hasnt said a word to me. my dad is a really strong man, he does things that hurt him and he judt does them. i hope to be like him. i waste his time so fucking much. hours of practice out of school, his freetime gone, driving me around everywhere, i dont even have a close relationship with him. he loves me tho. and im crying as i type this

what do i expect when i see this psychiatrist? im gonna cry throughout the entire session i suspect.

i just want medication. i told myself that if i really try and out my mind to it. i can stop my adhd and stop procrastinating.

at this rate im just gonna rot. lose years on my life span. i need medication or something

off-topic: i wish i had this conversation with myself last year. maybe i could have saved my gpa, maybe if i was medicated right now my junior year would have been more educated. i have so many regrets. the worst part is that i know im smart. i could have been extremely smart and gifted at school. im smart and i know i am, i cant do any of the work. why do i have to have adhd? and the worst part is i cant just go around telling people this. everyone thinks adhd is some fidgeting joke disorder, including me. i realize i didnt just have this starting high school. i had it throughout my entire 16 years on this planet. and it hurt me every single year. i keep apologizing to the younger self of me for being so harsh on myself. not eating because i dont deserve it. i hope i can get better. i need help.

its 11:45 pm, i havent studied for my math quiz pr done the homework due tmrw. il try to do it now. il prolly sleep at 2 am. i took a hour long nap by accident today

i just wanted to put my thoughts down here i think idk.

Hi guys! Here are some helpful ADHD tips I learned from my psychiatrist today! This is not medical advice, just something I thought people could take nuggets away from. Feel free to adjust or correct me if I’m wrong!

1. If you take stimulants to manage your ADHD, be sure to take it 30 minutes after waking up if you don’t have coffee, and about 90 minutes after waking up if you do have coffee within that time period. This is because when you first begin waking up, cortisol spikes which gives you a bit of an energy boost. So wait to take anything that boosts your energy for a bit to maximize your energy. (I know he’s controversial, but Andrew Huberman has a podcast on this.)
2. Taking breaks between uninterrupted power sprints of work/productivity is helpful in managing productivity. Rather than allowing yourself to chase every distraction, you train your brain to know when it’s distraction time.
3. Create routines! This helps put your brain in a state where you don’t have to think too hard about decisions. This could even be something small like having pre-set outfits for each day of the week.
4. Allow your brain to “dump” itself. When you are doing a task and want to minimize distracting thoughts, jot down any thoughts that pop up and revisit them later. You’re allowing your brain a bit of room to wander while also remaining on task.
5. “Warm” your brain up to a task. Going cold turkey does not work well for most ADHD brains, apparently, so allowing yourself to ease into a task is better than jumping in and abandoning it quickly. My psychiatrist explained this as driving slowly over a speed bump rather than flooring it.
6. One "baseline task" per day. Make bed, wash 1 dish, read 1 page. These are my Anchor Activities things I do daily no matter what. But anchors alone get boring fast, especially for a low-dopamine brain. So I pair them with Novelty Activities that rotate daily something small and different each day like a 5 min walk, journaling, or a cold splash on my face. The novelty is what keeps your dopamine just high enough to stay engaged without overstimulating it. I use Soothfy for this, it builds both anchors and novelty into a personalized daily routine based on your energy level and schedule.
7. Recognize that distractions are bids for dopamine boosts. For example, stopping what you’re doing to complete a menial, non-essential task is your brain’s way of getting a quick dopamine boost rather than waiting to get the boost from completing the longer task at hand. Our brain wants something quick, but resist if possible you’ll get the boost eventually! EDIT: It doesn’t have to be a menial task! It can be anything that takes your attention away from the main task at hand to get a quick dopamine fix. I just happen to find menial tasks like laundry, cleaning, etc. something I fixate on to get those dopamine boosts quickly. I apologize for any confusion!

I hope these tips are as helpful to you guys as they are to me. I plan to build more structure in my daily routines and “warm” my brain up before attempting daunting tasks.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons. This is mainly a rant but also looking for some help/reassurance that things can get better.

I have been quietly struggling for a while but am now really starting to question my relationship.

I (m28) have been with my gf (29) for 2 years. We moved in together about 8 months ago. I love her and she is kind and a good person. I kew she had ADHD before we got together, but I never realised how difficult living with her would be.

I have two main problems.

First is the mess. I’m a very tidy person and I enjoy cleaning/tidying for the most part. A messy space tends to make me uncomfortable and irritated and I often can’t relax until it’s tidy. She is the messiest person I’ve ever met, I don't understand how she makes so much mess. Clothes everywhere, drawers left open, lights/tv/fan left on, old mugs and bowls everywhere. Lunchboxes left in the car for days/weeks at a time. I’ve lost count of the amount of tupperware we’ve thrown away because we both refuse to clean it.

Reminders don’t seem to work, and she’ll only clean when someone is coming over, or it gets so messy we’ll do a big clean of the house. It usually only gets that dirty when I’ve been too busy to clean or am depressed and struggle to do anything. It makes me feel uncomfortable and on edge in my own home. I'm hoping it's because she doesn't quite understand how the mess makes me feel rather than that she just doesn't care.

The second issue is having to fix (almost) all of her problems for her. I understand we’re in a relationship, and I am happy to work together and help her. However I am getting sick of her ignoring my reminders and leaving things to the last minute, then expecting me to fix the problem and getting stressed and annoyed at me at the same time. 

I know it’s not her fault that she forgets things or that she’s messy, but she also doesn’t seem to want to help herself and I’m getting concerned that she’s getting used to me doing these things and it will get worse rather than better over time. 

I’ve tried talking to her about the mess and she says she will do better and she does for a week or so, then it’s back to how it was before. I’m going to try again soon using stronger terms and try and make her understand how much these things affect me and hopefully it’ll help.

I’m starting to worry, as much as I love her, that I cannot do this for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be battling mess and fighting fires at home. It makes me feel like I’m parenting her rather than dating her. 

I’m 2 years in and exhausted.

Out of sight, out of mind is a cliché. For me it's a lived thing.

I have a friend who's really well-connected in education. Another who knows everyone in the startup space. A cousin who went through something hard last year. And I... just don't think about any of them until something external forces the thought.

It's not that I don't care. I care a lot. It's that my brain doesn't passively maintain people. They go quiet and they disappear, until a WhatsApp notification or a random memory brings them back.

I started looking for something that could help. Not a CRM, I'm not managing relationships like a sales pipeline. Something more like a memory extension. "Hold onto things about people so I can actually show up for them." I couldn't find it.

Something like a Telegram bot. You voice-note into it after a conversation, "just got off a call with Neha, she's going through a job transition, mentioned she wants to get into product", and it stores that. When you're like "who in my life knows about product roles?" it surfaces Neha.

I want to understand - has anyone else dealt with this specific thing? And if so, what have you tried?

Did you find any app that actually helps with this? A notes system? A habit?

Would love to know what's worked (or what's failed) for others.

My bf (29) and I (25) have been dating for about a year and I've noticed that he's is (a lot of the time) unreliable. He often forgets small things or part of tasks I ask him help for, and so I find myself not asking him for help unless it's something I cannot do, I am a little hyper independent and that's something I'm trying to work through as well but it doesn't help that he ends up seeming unreliable even though he tried super hard not to be. like the other day I asked him to bring my stuff from his and gave a list, which he double checked and still left behind 2 things which I urgently needed. I'm exhausted of having to have a back up with any help I ask with him involved. I tried to be empathetic but I think I'm reaching a breaking point so how do I manage this or what resources could help him get better with this? I don't think my ADHD coping mechanisms work for him either so I feel stuck not knowing how to help.