Can two neurodivergent people ever work?
Does it ever work out? My relationship is now probably the most stressful part of my life. We are both neurodivergent with me 29F dx ADHD (possibly autistic too but ndx) and him 33M dx AuDHD and it feels like our relationship has been such a push/pull dynamic with a lot of volatility from both of us but primarily him.
I used to think I was a very calm person, I have great friendships that I can maintain and very little friction within them. But I just feel like as time went on, he triggers me so much and I’ve been experiencing increased RSD, defensiveness and stubbornness which I’m trying to work on by attempting to regulate in the moment.
Ultimately it feels like there’s just been so much conflict, and we are both so worn down. The love is and always will be there, but emotionally we’re spent and he is on the brink of break up. I want what’s best for both of us, but also can’t bear the thought of losing my best friend and someone I truly connect with. I guess I want to ask, has anyone been in a neurodivergent relationship and actually managed to figure it out?
We can have weeks of peace, then one explosive disagreement which brings him to talks of break up again. And on, and on. I just really need help understanding if there is hope and whether it’s worth continuing to do the work which I’ve been doing. Can we ever get to a place of (mostly) peace?