r/BlackLGBT

Hey everyone. So I (18, AFAB) recently decided to stop trying to fool myself and embrace the fact that I am in fact gender fluid. I'm talking really recently- like, within the past month is when I stopped trying to desperately ignore the urges I often found myself having when it came to being a boy. So, I have a bit of a dilemma here.

In online spaces, embracing my masc/male side and letting him shine is easy. I feel comfy going by he/him online just as much as I do with she/her, and I feel way comfier channeling my energy as a guy online. But as soon as it comes to translating that to real life, I choke. I love makeup and femininity too much to fully let my masc side have the floor. And it confuses me because I so badly want to come off as more androgynous, so badly want to look like a full on boy sometimes, or a mix of both other times. But I feel such a weird discomfort when I try to present fully masc. No makeup, hair out (I've got curly hair), baggy/shapeless clothes.. I've tried it all at once, and I just feel. So. Weird. But I seriously do want to embrace masculinity more.

I think there are a lot of layers that play into this feeling. As a black woman, I was masculinized against my will a whole lot. I became hyper feminine to compensate for what people said about me, my hair, my skin, and my face. So I guess I am not really fully ready to associate physical masculinity with safety yet- It has been painful most of my life and I tried to run from it. So now embracing it feels weird.

At this point, I'm kind of just yapping lol. Well, to try and sum it up/to give a TLDR;

I so badly want to present more masc. But every time I try, it really just does not feel quite right.

Trying to make some Gaymer friends to play with

(Also I play other games too)

I'm currently getting my master's degree in sports management and my goal is to highlight the impact of inclusive fitness and wellness spaces on LGBT+ youth participation (tldr; American kids already don't get enough exercise and queer kids suffer from this at significantly higher rates. I'd like to help change that). Because of this, I also want to be influential in my community by helping to upgrade, maintain, and install new greenspaces and recreation facilities to break down barriers to physical activity, so I'm using that as a starting point in my career change by looking into parks and rec jobs.

A few weeks ago, I started a blog to talk about issues that I care about so my passion for equality and equity has somewhere to go. While none of it *should* be controversial, I mainly talk about misogynoir, Black and LGBT+ history, and gender parity in sports. My first name and photo are on my blog and I'm wondering if I should take them down while I look for employment. Maybe even take them down permanently? I don't know if employers Google your name and if they do, what they're looking for. It's just a simple layout change and I don't mind doing it, but I was curious if it's worth doing at all.

I have a link to multiple (5+) testimonials that all say the same thing (or similar)

https://www.reddit.com/u/Vast-Highlight1110/s/Y5PjhLEYbC

These testimonials are all supported by tons of upvotes (sometimes numbering in the hundreds) and while I agree that’s no guarantee that it’s true, Im more inclined to believe someone with 100 upvotes than someone with 100 downvotes

Why does this happen?

I'm a black transgender woman Finishing my first semester of college which has been really hard for me. have been working on a group assignment with a student in my class for the past  week. The students behavior is extremely unstable so after noticing strange behaviour I stayed away.They already have lashed out randomly at other students who they felt were being too noisy and nothing has been done about her behavior. I had to work on a group assignment with her and I already felt apprehensive but wanted to get it out of the way. When I was on my way to class I texted the group that I would be late and she proceeded to antagonize me about it in the WhatsApp group anatognizing me like I was her kid saying I would be a horrible social worker and I don't know anything. I showed up 15mins before our presentation so there was plenty of time. Right before we presented the assignment, the student strategically started getting confrontational with me. I tried to avoid them but the more I did the more they became enraged and just screamed out that im a backstabbing b#tch infront of the whole class. I felt completely humiliated as everyone  gasped then laughed. The teacher said our presentation was cancelled then later on told us we need to prove what we worked on for the assignment because this girl is claiming I did absolutely nothing on it. (Which isn't true and I had evidence to show that) It doesn't seem like anything was done to penalize this student for treating me this way and it doesn't seem fair. If this were highschool she would have needed to at least go to the principles office. I was hoping something could be done because this whole situation has been very traumatic for me. I struggle sleeping now and my anxiety is ten times worse because I keep replaying the humiliation of what happened to me. I feel this is blatant favoritism to a white student who felt comfortable dragging me infront of the class because I'm marginalized and they get to sit comfortably in their white female privilege knowing that nothing will happen to them.