r/lonely

I’m F 29, single, no kids and I live alone with no friends or family nearby. I’ve always been the quiet person who has a hard time carrying a conversation. I have a hard time building relationships with people because of it. I have never been in a real relationship or on a real date and I’ve given up because of my social anxiety and awkwardness. When I try to talk to people at work I feel like I mess up and want to distance myself because of it. I feel this emptiness inside that I am longing for someone to care about me and want to spend time with me. I’ve never had a best friend to do everything with like a lot of my friends do. I’ve started to think about dying and different ways I could die and that it wouldn’t matter because no one would miss me. I’m so tired of feeling alone, like I’m a burden, and that no one cares. I feel like when I go out to social events I say the wrong thing and wish I would have stayed home to begin with. I feel like I’ll feel this way forever and I’ll never be happy again. I even made up a fictional husband and kids to try and make me less lonely and like I’m wanted.

I turn 47F today and it is yet another year with no plans, no friends, no partner, nobody to celebrate with. I've spent every birthday and holiday alone since before the pandemic. I don't remember the last time I even went out on my bday or had people who cared enough to make plans with me. I started having health issues just before the pandemic that slowly escalated until they ruled my life. I live with chronic pain, depression and anxiety. I've spent so long working on my mental health and advocating for myself with doctors that I slowly lost any sense of a social life and haven't even been on a date since 2018. I'm so tired of living this life alone. 😞

Just celebrated my 39th Birthday alone. Went to eat at one of my favorite steak place alone. Enjoyed an Old Fashion alone. Ate a juicy ribeye alone. Booked a hotel suite at my local casino and resort alone. Bought a birthday cake and blew out the candles alone. Went swimming alone. Gambled and mostly ended up losing money alone. Drank at the bar and toasted alone. Cried myself to sleep... alone.

Woke up and I'm still alone. No "real" friends, no one in my family that I really got along with. No partner to share this journey with.

I’ve been feeling really lonely lately. And by that, I don’t mean that I don’t have people around me — I actually have really wonderful and kind people in my life. It’s just that I’m missing something.

I don’t feel like I truly fit in anywhere. Like I said, I’ve got plenty of people around me, but not that typical big friend group with a WhatsApp chat that’s buzzing all day long. And it’s not that I necessarily want that, but I still miss something. I just don’t know what that “something” is, and that uncertainty makes me feel insecure.

When I’m home alone, I’m constantly on my phone and just lying on the couch or in bed. I feel pretty useless if I don’t have to work.

Falling asleep is hard, because I keep overthinking everything. I can’t seem to quiet my mind, and I keep turning and tossing until, after two or three hours, I finally fall asleep.

My goal here is simply to let things out a bit and have an honest conversation without being judged.

So I 18f have never had many friends. I think I’ve only had one friend in my life and that was in fourth grade. She was the best, and I loved her so much. However after she moved away only a year later I’ve never had a friend.

Now I’ve met people again but it usually was just acquaintances. I haven’t talked to someone genuinely in almost three years now. Never sat down and just talked. That’s all I want is to talk, maybe hang out at a park and play card games. That’s all I want. I just want someone to be by my side when I go out for the day and just walk around or sit at the park and watch the water from the pond. Sometimes I wish I could cry on someone shoulder because I don’t want to feel alone, I just want to be seen again and not just this invisible person.

I do wish it was easy to talk to people. But I know I’m not the most attractive person, I know I’m socially awkward, and I know that I also have severe social anxiety. Maybe I ask for too much, but sometimes even if not a friend I had a dog or cat but with my living situation I can’t have pets.

اتوقع اني كمان بقيت مبحبش اكلم حد كمان و بفضل الجلوس لوحدي دايما

i have wanted to have a smart phone and social media like my friends for yeara but my parents wouldnt allow it saying its bad for my brain. well i turned 13 and was gifted a phone. since then ive just felt worse about myself and felt even more lonely than without social media. am i doing something wrong or is my parents right when they said its bad for my brain? feel like this has been upsetting

I truly don’t know who I am outside of the parentified adult I’ve been raised and conditioned to be. My childhood and young adult experiences are nothing like those of my peers and I often feel like an outsider when trying to connect with others. I’m the youngest of 2 kids and have been responsible for my parents and older siblings mental, physical, emotional, financial, and medical caretaker since the age of 15. And with each passing day my family’s demands/needs only become more and more difficult to bear and deplete me faster.

I have been isolated by almost everyone I know because of my eating disorder. Everyone has abandoned me. Nobody has checked to see how I am. Nobody replies to me anymore. I’m alone. The only couple of people who will speak to me don’t believe I am sick and are encouraging my weight loss and purging. I have to cut them off though because it is very damaging to my mental health. My family doesn’t even check on me. This has made me want to lose more weight and not recover. It is so hurtful.

I don’t have anybody whatsoever and the friends I do make either abandon me or ignore me. I honestly don’t even have hope anymore I’m just trying to convince myself that if I keep trying that I’ll be able to finally make a friend so here’s to this ☺️

I saw my ex and his girlfriend at Walmart today and it scarred me all over again. We broke up four years ago and I thought I was completely over it but guess not. Don't think he saw me, thank gosh

Im no good at carrying conversation. I have some interest. pokemon showdown, music, youtube videos about news and media, drawing, but I dont know enough to discuss them in any meaningful length or depth. When i spend time with someone one on one things quickly devolve into an awkward silence I dont know how to fix. I really see no point for anyone to hang out with me or get to know me. There have been points where women were clearly interested in me, and men wanted to hang out with and befriend me but I never saw a point in pursuing relationships plutonic or not. I felt it would always lead to their disappointment. I feel my "social muscle" has atrophied to nothing, and its only going to get worse with age. I often question if its worth living, and find relief in imagining never having existed at all.

I def do. I've always kinda struggled with loneliness, even when I was really young due to bullying and stuff. But back then, I at the very least had a small group of friends that I'd talk to on a daily basis. Nowadays, at 29, I literally only have like one friend that I talk to, and thats because we live together. No joke, not a single person talks to me unless I'm the first to reach out.

It doesn't really help that I'm massively introverted and shy, so attempting to socialize and meet new people is just a fucking nightmare for me. I try anyways in spite of that, but still somehow fail spectacularly and it just makes me want to shrivel up and hide away in my room. (thus isolating myself even more lol)

I 21M am entering my final year of college and am very lonely with a girlfriend and no other friends. My gf is very social and I’m awkward and don’t have any (other) friends. She often does stuff out and about with her friends and I spend ~24 hours a day in my bedroom because I literally have nowhere else to be. The only time I leave is to go to class or occasionally see my girlfriend so I probably spend 23 hours on average per day out of my house. I live with a few flatmates who do not talk to me (we are not friends).

I feel like I will not make any friends ever again and if anything happens between me and my gf (ie if we break up) I will truly have no one. I feel suicidal and made some attempts prior to starting my relationship and sometimes I get urges.

It feels to me like everyone already has a group of friends so I have no clue how to make new ones and I hate being reliant on my gf like that. I love her but I know it’s unfair on both her and me, and when she isn’t with me which is 95% of the time I feel extremely alone. I cannot make friends not least because I do not know how- even though I am involved in student organisations and sometimes go to classes, I don’t speak to anyone. I end up sitting at the back and pretending to look busy or just standing like a lump not talking to anyone.

Does anyone know what to do? Does anyone have answers to any questions I haven’t thought of asking?

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im a 29 year old guy and I've never had a girlfriend, never had a kiss never been on a date, the whole shebang. And I'm convinced that not a single woman has ever been interested in me interacting with her romantically.

you'll see those posts on here about guys telling stories about signals they've missed from women, and how obvious it was looking back, but I do not have a single one of these moments in my life to reflect on. every interaction I've ever had with women has been purely platonic, so I know it really can't be that. you can say that I still must be missing the signals but I find it impossibly unlikely that I cannot recall a single time it has happened in my entire life

I remember back in high school and in college I would ask some women I thought were cute out and never was able to connect with any of them on a deeper level and/get a date. but I'm great friends with some of these women to this day and I appreciate our friendships greatly.

when I was about 21 I heard the advice that when a woman is into you, she'll make it obvious, by doing things like making herself more available for you to talk to her when you are in a public setting like work, laughing at your stupid unfunny jokes, holding eye contact for a little longer than normal, smiling when they see you things like that ect,

and that you should really only be pursuing women that give you these signals like this. so I stopped asking women out and decided to wait until I met a woman that showed me some signals that they want to be asked out.

8 years later and I'm still waiting. I haven't seen this kind of energy/body language displayed toward me by a woman a single time, ive met a lot of women due to my job (I play drums full time in a metal band) but every interaction is always purely platonic.

there has never been a single moment where a woman I have built a rapport with by interacting with them multiple times over the course of an extended amount of time, has shown me that they were interested in me asking them out on a date, being sexual or something of the sorts. they are always so closed off with me.

it's like I'm completely invisible and asexual to women. and it hurts, I'm going to be 30 and I have the romantic experience of a 15 year old

I don't have very many friends. I keep sending them things and getting left on read or ignored completely. It hurts so bad. I get they're probably just busy. But do they not care enough to even acknowledge my presence? I keep trying to remind myself that they do like me. But thinking about times when they were nice to me and times when they actually reached out to me just makes me feel like I did something to make them not like me anymore. I'm starting to prepare myself mentally for them to just completely abandon me. I wish I wasn't so needy. Maybe it's not that big of a deal. But it feels like the end of the world.

i probably get a random message a week, maybe 2 if im lucky. ive got 2 "friends", one of which hasnt messaged me first in months. asked him to hang out, lots of times, for months, and hes always declined, he always says hes busy, somehow he always makes time for his real friends. and then my other friend only messages when they need something, like a random tool or piece of equipment, because they know that if i have it ill let them "borrow" it and then i just wont bother getting it back. and i guess word must have spread that im like this because someone has messaged me out of the blue, who i talked to once years ago, and has just been going on and on about how hes got so many hobbies and hes so smart and good at everything. and im not good at anything and i dont have hobbies and i dont have a passion for anything. nobody ever asks my how i am or asks me to hang out. they just treat me like a disposable object and forget me when im not useful. i dont know what im still living for at this point

It’s as if I don’t belong in this world. I don’t feel like an active participant, I’m merely a spectator, watching other people enjoy the pleasures of life while I’m just nothing. I do have one friend though, only one. But often times things feel off, like the friendship is one sided. I care much more about them than they do me. It’s at the point where I’ve become pretty much detached.

But my life in general, it doesn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. I try to make friends but it never goes anywhere. I can’t seem to build and maintain intimate connections with anyone. It’s like I’m not meant to be here. We as humans are social beings, so if I struggle in that department, what am I even doing here? I’m a waste of life.

I'm 35F and I've been alone for the past 18 years. I'm neurodivergent and struggled with complete isolation in the past. My isolation started when I was just a teen, so my essential adult social skills have never developed. I missed all the milestones of an adult life and I feel like I don't even have anything to talk about with another person my age. Every time I'm trying to get out of my shell I feel even more lonely and it makes me depressed. I feel like I'm oscillating between anxiety and depression all the time and I have no idea how to fix my life.

Just an appreciation post. I posted why needafriend was sad and the mods removed it. Then reddit recommended this sub to me. I spent some time reading posts and peoples reply and im happy to find some human warmth here.